diff --git a/code/game/objects/objs.dm b/code/game/objects/objs.dm
index 130b6a1359e..bd2e3ded801 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/objs.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/objs.dm
@@ -286,3 +286,7 @@
 /obj/proc/clean()
 	clean_blood()
 	color = initial(color)
+
+/// This fires when the object /crosses() a stair object
+/obj/proc/stair_act()
+	return
diff --git a/code/game/objects/structures/crates_lockers/closets.dm b/code/game/objects/structures/crates_lockers/closets.dm
index eb3d09e5612..ff7776c5653 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/structures/crates_lockers/closets.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/structures/crates_lockers/closets.dm
@@ -765,6 +765,19 @@
 		QDEL_NULL(linked_teleporter)
 	return ..()
 
+/obj/structure/closet/stair_act()
+	if(opened || !can_open())
+		return
+
+	visible_message(SPAN_WARNING("\The [src] flies open as it bounces on the stairs!"))
+	for(var/thing in src)
+		var/atom/movable/AM = thing
+		AM.forceMove(get_turf(src))
+		AM.throw_at_random(TRUE, 1, 2)
+	open()
+
+	return ..()
+
 /*
 ==========================
 	Contents Scanner
diff --git a/code/game/objects/structures/stool_bed_chair_nest/bed.dm b/code/game/objects/structures/stool_bed_chair_nest/bed.dm
index aab1c948ba8..95f70b48dcd 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/structures/stool_bed_chair_nest/bed.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/structures/stool_bed_chair_nest/bed.dm
@@ -308,6 +308,21 @@
 		else
 			occupant.visible_message(SPAN_DANGER("[occupant] crashed into \the [A]!"))
 
+/obj/structure/bed/stair_act()
+	if(!buckled)
+		return
+
+	var/atom/movable/unbuckled_atom = unbuckle()
+	if(!unbuckled_atom)
+		return
+
+	unbuckled_atom.visible_message("<b>\The [unbuckled_atom]</b> goes flying out of \the [src] as it bounces on the stairs!", SPAN_WARNING("You go flying out of \the [src] as it bounces on the stairs!"))
+	unbuckled_atom.throw_at_random(FALSE, 1, 2)
+
+	if(ismob(unbuckled_atom))
+		var/mob/unbuckled_mob = unbuckled_atom
+		unbuckled_mob.Paralyse(5)
+
 /obj/structure/bed/psych
 	name = "psychiatrist's couch"
 	desc = "For prime comfort during psychiatric evaluations."
@@ -565,6 +580,9 @@
 	.=..()
 	set_light(2,1,LIGHT_COLOR_CYAN)
 
+/obj/structure/bed/roller/hover/stair_act()
+	return
+
 /obj/item/roller
 	name = "roller bed"
 	desc = "A collapsed roller bed that can be carried around."
diff --git a/code/modules/multiz/structures.dm b/code/modules/multiz/structures.dm
index 5f9a5ad6a24..62c9f0e999a 100644
--- a/code/modules/multiz/structures.dm
+++ b/code/modules/multiz/structures.dm
@@ -275,6 +275,11 @@
 				playsound(src, 'sound/effects/stairs_step.ogg', 50)
 				playsound(target, 'sound/effects/stairs_step.ogg', 50)
 
+/obj/structure/stairs/Crossed(obj/O)
+	if(istype(O))
+		O.stair_act()
+	return ..()
+
 /obj/structure/stairs/proc/upperStep(var/turf/T)
 	return (T == loc)
 
@@ -372,6 +377,11 @@
 	icon = 'icons/obj/structure/stairs.dmi'
 	icon_state = "np_stair"
 
+/obj/structure/platform_stairs/Crossed(obj/O)
+	if(istype(O))
+		O.stair_act()
+	return ..()
+
 /obj/structure/platform_stairs/south_north_solo
 	icon_state = "p_stair_sn_solo_cap"
 
diff --git a/html/changelogs/geeves-stair_act.yml b/html/changelogs/geeves-stair_act.yml
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..12376942e13
--- /dev/null
+++ b/html/changelogs/geeves-stair_act.yml
@@ -0,0 +1,6 @@
+author: Geeves
+
+delete-after: True
+
+changes: 
+  - rscadd: "Crates, closets, rollerbeds and wheelchairs now cannot safely traverse stairs."
\ No newline at end of file