Begin, the Lag Wars Have (#21839)

<img width="700" height="848" alt="image"
src="https://github.com/user-attachments/assets/e0db50af-35db-43c7-b78e-6c1ea5ac569c"
/>

you take a tiny little two year LOA and this happens
this PR hits some large lag culprits:
- UpdateOverlays() getting spammed by human/update_icon. This was 0.85%
of server CPU time during the event. Doesn't sound like a whole lot but
it's insane. 99% of it was caused by sloppy duplicate calls of
update_icon in set_dir (as well as update icon itself!). Refactored to
stop that
- Makes Follow menu update manually, which cuts down on the 2.8 million
REF() calls it made during the event. This was ~1% of CPU time including
ui_data as well.
- Gets rid of a bunch of random runtimes and some lighting-related
harddels.
- NanoUIs now clean themselves up when their owner qdels rather than
forcing the owner to do REF(src) and close all matching UIs. saves us
~0.1% server cpu time! wowza!

code/datums/datum.dm

@@ -115,10 +115,6 @@
 	if (!isturf(src))
 		cleanup_events(src)
 
-	var/ui_key = REF(src)
-	if(LAZYISIN(SSnanoui.open_uis, ui_key))
-		SSnanoui.close_uis(src)
-
 	//BEGIN: ECS SHIT
 	var/list/dc = _datum_components
 	if(dc)