mirror of
https://github.com/Aurorastation/Aurora.3.git
synced 2026-07-19 03:49:10 +01:00
Fluffy
7265630dde
Turned a ton of unmanaged globals into managed globals. Refactored some UT output. Removed some unused things, including vars. Added a test to ensure people don't keep adding new unmanaged vars.
127 lines
8.3 KiB
Plaintext
127 lines
8.3 KiB
Plaintext
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/datum/event/mundane_news
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endWhen = 10
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/datum/event/mundane_news/announce()
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var/datum/trade_destination/affected_dest = pickweight(GLOB.weighted_mundaneevent_locations)
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var/event_type = 0
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if(affected_dest.viable_mundane_events.len)
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event_type = pick(affected_dest.viable_mundane_events)
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if(!event_type)
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return
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var/author = "Tau Ceti Daily"
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var/channel = author
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//see if our location has custom event info for this event
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var/body = affected_dest.get_custom_eventstring()
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if(!body)
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body = ""
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switch(event_type)
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if(RESEARCH_BREAKTHROUGH)
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body = "A major breakthough in the field of [pick("phoron research","super-compressed materials","nano-augmentation","bluespace research","volatile power manipulation")] \
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was announced [pick("yesterday","a few days ago","last week","earlier this month")] by a private firm on [affected_dest.name]. \
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[SSatlas.current_map.company_name] declined to comment as to whether this could impinge on profits."
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if(ELECTION)
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body = "The pre-selection of an additional candidates was announced for the upcoming [pick("supervisors council","advisory board","governership","board of inquisitors")] \
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election on [affected_dest.name] was announced earlier today, \
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[pick("media mogul","web celebrity", "industry titan", "superstar", "famed chef", "popular gardener", "ex-army officer", "multi-billionaire")] \
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[random_name(pick(MALE,FEMALE))]. In a statement to the media they said '[pick("My only goal is to help the [pick("sick","poor","children")]",\
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"I will maintain my company's record profits","I believe in our future","We must return to our moral core","Just like... chill out dudes")]'."
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if(RESIGNATION)
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body = "[SSatlas.current_map.company_name] regretfully announces the resignation of [pick("Sector Admiral","Division Admiral","Ship Admiral","Vice Admiral")] [random_name(pick(MALE,FEMALE))]."
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if(prob(25))
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var/locstring = pick("Segunda","Salusa","Cepheus","Andromeda","Gruis","Corona","Aquila","Asellus") + " " + pick("I","II","III","IV","V","VI","VII","VIII")
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body += " In a ceremony on [affected_dest.name] this afternoon, they will be awarded the \
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[pick("Red Star of Sacrifice","Purple Heart of Heroism","Blue Eagle of Loyalty","Green Lion of Ingenuity")] for "
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if(prob(33))
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body += "their actions at the Battle of [pick(locstring,"REDACTED")]."
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else if(prob(50))
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body += "their contribution to the colony of [locstring]."
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else
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body += "their loyal service over the years."
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else if(prob(33))
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body += " They are expected to settle down in [affected_dest.name], where they have been granted a handsome pension."
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else if(prob(50))
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body += " The news was broken on [affected_dest.name] earlier today, where they cited reasons of '[pick("health","family","REDACTED")]'"
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else
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body += " Administration Aerospace wishes them the best of luck in their retirement ceremony on [affected_dest.name]."
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if(CELEBRITY_DEATH)
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body = "It is with regret today that we announce the sudden passing of the "
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if(prob(33))
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body += "[pick("distinguished","decorated","veteran","highly respected")] \
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[pick("Ship's Captain","Vice Admiral","Colonel","Lieutenant Colonel")] "
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else if(prob(50))
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body += "[pick("award-winning","popular","highly respected","trend-setting")] \
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[pick("comedian","singer/songwright","artist","playwright","TV personality","model")] "
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else
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body += "[pick("successful","highly respected","ingenious","esteemed")] \
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[pick("academic","Professor","Doctor","Scientist")] "
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body += "[random_name(pick(MALE,FEMALE))] on [affected_dest.name] [pick("last week","yesterday","this morning","two days ago","three days ago")]\
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[pick(". Assassination is suspected, but the perpetrators have not yet been brought to justice",\
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" due to mercenary infiltrators (since captured)",\
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" during an industrial accident",\
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" due to [pick("heart failure","kidney failure","liver failure","brain hemorrhage")]")]"
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if(BARGAINS)
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body += "BARGAINS! BARGAINS! BARGAINS! Commerce Control on [affected_dest.name] wants you to know that everything must go! Across all retail centres, \
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all goods are being slashed, and all retailors are onboard - so come on over for the \[shopping\] time of your life."
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if(SONG_DEBUT)
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body += "[pick("Singer","Singer/songwriter","Saxophonist","Pianist","Guitarist","TV personality","Star")] [random_name(pick(MALE,FEMALE))] \
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announced the debut of their new [pick("single","album","EP","label")] '[pick("Everyone's","Look at the","Baby don't eye those","All of those","Dirty nasty")] \
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[pick("roses","three stars","starships","nanobots","cyborgs","Skrell","Sren'darr")] \
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[pick("on Venus","on Reade","on Moghes","in my hand","slip through my fingers","die for you","sing your heart out","fly away")]' \
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with [pick("pre-puchases available","a release tour","cover signings","a launch concert")] on [affected_dest.name]."
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if(MOVIE_RELEASE)
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body += "From the [pick("desk","home town","homeworld","mind")] of [pick("acclaimed","award-winning","popular","stellar")] \
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[pick("playwright","author","director","actor","TV star")] [random_name(pick(MALE,FEMALE))] comes the latest sensation: '\
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[pick("Deadly","The last","Lost","Dead")] [pick("Starships","Warriors","outcasts","Tajaran","Unathi","Skrell")] \
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[pick("of","from","raid","go hunting on","visit","ravage","pillage","destroy")] \
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[pick("Moghes","Earth","Biesel","Adhomai","S'rendarr","the Void","the Edge of Space")]'.\
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. Own it on webcast today, or visit the galactic premier on [affected_dest.name]!"
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if(BIG_GAME_HUNTERS)
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body += "Game hunters on [affected_dest.name] "
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if(prob(33))
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body += "were surprised when an unusual species experts have since identified as \
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[pick("a subclass of mammal","a divergent abhuman species","an intelligent species of lemur","organic/cyborg hybrids")] turned up. Believed to have been brought in by \
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[pick("alien smugglers","early colonists","mercenary raiders","unwitting tourists")], this is the first such specimen discovered in the wild."
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else if(prob(50))
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body += "were attacked by a vicious [pick("nas'r","diyaab","samak","predator which has not yet been identified")]\
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. Officials urge caution, and locals are advised to stock up on armaments."
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else
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body += "brought in an unusually [pick("valuable","rare","large","vicious","intelligent")] [pick("mammal","predator","farwa","samak")] for inspection \
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[pick("today","yesterday","last week")]. Speculators suggest they may be tipped to break several records."
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if(GOSSIP)
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body += "[pick("TV host","Webcast personality","Superstar","Model","Actor","Singer")] [random_name(pick(MALE,FEMALE))] "
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if(prob(33))
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body += "and their partner announced the birth of their [pick("first","second","third")] child on [affected_dest.name] early this morning. \
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Doctors say the child is well, and the parents are considering "
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if(prob(50))
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body += capitalize(pick(GLOB.first_names_female))
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else
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body += capitalize(pick(GLOB.first_names_male))
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body += " for the name."
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else if(prob(50))
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body += "announced their [pick("split","break up","marriage","engagement")] with [pick("TV host","webcast personality","superstar","model","actor","singer")] \
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[random_name(pick(MALE,FEMALE))] at [pick("a society ball","a new opening","a launch","a club")] on [affected_dest.name] yesterday, pundits are shocked."
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else
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body += "is recovering from plastic surgery in a clinic on [affected_dest.name] for the [pick("second","third","fourth")] time, reportedly having made the decision in response to "
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body += "[pick("unkind comments by an ex","rumours started by jealous friends",\
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"the decision to be dropped by a major sponsor","a disasterous interview on Tau Ceti Tonight")]."
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if(TOURISM)
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body += "Tourists are flocking to [affected_dest.name] after the surprise announcement of [pick("major shopping bargains by a wily retailer",\
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"a huge new ARG by a popular entertainment company","a secret tour by popular artiste [random_name(pick(MALE,FEMALE))]")]. \
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Tau Ceti Daily is offering discount tickets for two to see [random_name(pick(MALE,FEMALE))] live in return for eyewitness reports and up to the minute coverage."
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var/datum/feed_channel/ch = SSnews.GetFeedChannel(channel)
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SSnews.SubmitArticle(body, author, ch, null, 1)
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