diff --git a/code/datums/diseases/advance/symptoms/beard.dm b/code/datums/diseases/advance/symptoms/beard.dm
index 6ca83c118c9..b537c31edac 100644
--- a/code/datums/diseases/advance/symptoms/beard.dm
+++ b/code/datums/diseases/advance/symptoms/beard.dm
@@ -32,5 +32,5 @@
 		if(index > 0 && H.facial_hairstyle != beard_order[index])
 			to_chat(H, span_warning("Your chin itches."))
 			H.facial_hairstyle = beard_order[index]
-			H.update_hair()
+			H.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 
diff --git a/code/datums/diseases/advance/symptoms/shedding.dm b/code/datums/diseases/advance/symptoms/shedding.dm
index fa23da69135..fe199c60ce3 100644
--- a/code/datums/diseases/advance/symptoms/shedding.dm
+++ b/code/datums/diseases/advance/symptoms/shedding.dm
@@ -45,4 +45,4 @@
 		H.hairstyle = "Bald"
 	else
 		H.hairstyle = "Balding Hair"
-	H.update_hair()
+	H.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
diff --git a/code/datums/dna.dm b/code/datums/dna.dm
index caed19be8a3..61feaafe8b0 100644
--- a/code/datums/dna.dm
+++ b/code/datums/dna.dm
@@ -564,7 +564,10 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(total_uf_len_by_block, populate_total_uf_len_by_block())
 	eye_color_left = sanitize_hexcolor(get_uni_identity_block(structure, DNA_EYE_COLOR_LEFT_BLOCK))
 	eye_color_right = sanitize_hexcolor(get_uni_identity_block(structure, DNA_EYE_COLOR_RIGHT_BLOCK))
 	facial_hairstyle = GLOB.facial_hairstyles_list[deconstruct_block(get_uni_identity_block(structure, DNA_FACIAL_HAIRSTYLE_BLOCK), GLOB.facial_hairstyles_list.len)]
-	hairstyle = GLOB.hairstyles_list[deconstruct_block(get_uni_identity_block(structure, DNA_HAIRSTYLE_BLOCK), GLOB.hairstyles_list.len)]
+	if(HAS_TRAIT(src, TRAIT_BALD))
+		hairstyle = "Bald"
+	else
+		hairstyle = GLOB.hairstyles_list[deconstruct_block(get_uni_identity_block(structure, DNA_HAIRSTYLE_BLOCK), GLOB.hairstyles_list.len)]
 	var/features = dna.unique_features
 	if(dna.features["mcolor"])
 		dna.features["mcolor"] = sanitize_hexcolor(get_uni_feature_block(features, DNA_MUTANT_COLOR_BLOCK))
diff --git a/code/datums/quirks/neutral.dm b/code/datums/quirks/neutral.dm
index 53cf158d4dd..38d136b2b2f 100644
--- a/code/datums/quirks/neutral.dm
+++ b/code/datums/quirks/neutral.dm
@@ -294,7 +294,7 @@
 	var/mob/living/carbon/human/human_holder = quirk_holder
 	old_hair = human_holder.hairstyle
 	human_holder.hairstyle = "Bald"
-	human_holder.update_hair()
+	human_holder.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 	RegisterSignal(human_holder, COMSIG_CARBON_EQUIP_HAT, .proc/equip_hat)
 	RegisterSignal(human_holder, COMSIG_CARBON_UNEQUIP_HAT, .proc/unequip_hat)
 
@@ -314,7 +314,7 @@
 	. = ..()
 	var/mob/living/carbon/human/human_holder = quirk_holder
 	human_holder.hairstyle = old_hair
-	human_holder.update_hair()
+	human_holder.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 	UnregisterSignal(human_holder, list(COMSIG_CARBON_EQUIP_HAT, COMSIG_CARBON_UNEQUIP_HAT))
 	SEND_SIGNAL(human_holder, COMSIG_CLEAR_MOOD_EVENT, "bad_hair_day")
 
diff --git a/code/game/objects/structures/mirror.dm b/code/game/objects/structures/mirror.dm
index f1452e03648..7473aa62f0d 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/structures/mirror.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/structures/mirror.dm
@@ -203,9 +203,7 @@ MAPPING_DIRECTIONAL_HELPERS(/obj/structure/mirror, 28)
 						to_chat(amazed_human, span_notice("Invalid color. Your color is not bright enough."))
 						return TRUE
 
-			amazed_human.update_body()
-			amazed_human.update_hair()
-			amazed_human.update_body_parts()
+			amazed_human.update_body(is_creating = TRUE)
 			amazed_human.update_mutations_overlay() // no hulk lizard
 
 		if("gender")
diff --git a/code/modules/admin/create_mob.dm b/code/modules/admin/create_mob.dm
index 5232fcec34e..434685bb210 100644
--- a/code/modules/admin/create_mob.dm
+++ b/code/modules/admin/create_mob.dm
@@ -42,5 +42,4 @@
 	human.dna.features["pod_hair"] = pick(GLOB.pod_hair_list)
 
 	human.update_body(is_creating = TRUE)
-	human.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 	human.dna.species.spec_updatehealth(human)
diff --git a/code/modules/antagonists/blob/blob_mobs.dm b/code/modules/antagonists/blob/blob_mobs.dm
index 74ea92cc87a..4ca41d463e2 100644
--- a/code/modules/antagonists/blob/blob_mobs.dm
+++ b/code/modules/antagonists/blob/blob_mobs.dm
@@ -188,7 +188,7 @@
 	icon = H.icon
 	icon_state = "zombie"
 	H.hairstyle = null
-	H.update_hair()
+	H.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 	H.forceMove(src)
 	oldguy = H
 	update_icons()
diff --git a/code/modules/antagonists/changeling/powers/mutations.dm b/code/modules/antagonists/changeling/powers/mutations.dm
index 0c90f7e9732..ae12e196af7 100644
--- a/code/modules/antagonists/changeling/powers/mutations.dm
+++ b/code/modules/antagonists/changeling/powers/mutations.dm
@@ -95,7 +95,7 @@
 		H.temporarilyRemoveItemFromInventory(H.wear_suit, TRUE)
 		H.update_inv_wear_suit()
 		H.update_inv_head()
-		H.update_hair()
+		H.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 
 		if(blood_on_castoff)
 			H.add_splatter_floor()
diff --git a/code/modules/antagonists/creep/creep.dm b/code/modules/antagonists/creep/creep.dm
index 9d485013c08..83d6b6e6b9d 100644
--- a/code/modules/antagonists/creep/creep.dm
+++ b/code/modules/antagonists/creep/creep.dm
@@ -41,7 +41,7 @@
 	var/mob/living/carbon/human/dummy/consistent/victim_dummy = new
 	victim_dummy.hair_color = "#bb9966" // Brown
 	victim_dummy.hairstyle = "Messy"
-	victim_dummy.update_hair()
+	victim_dummy.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 
 	var/icon/obsessed_icon = render_preview_outfit(preview_outfit)
 	obsessed_icon.Blend(icon('icons/effects/blood.dmi', "uniformblood"), ICON_OVERLAY)
diff --git a/code/modules/antagonists/revolution/revolution.dm b/code/modules/antagonists/revolution/revolution.dm
index 1824771ce21..d55c1ad8a53 100644
--- a/code/modules/antagonists/revolution/revolution.dm
+++ b/code/modules/antagonists/revolution/revolution.dm
@@ -206,7 +206,7 @@
 /datum/antagonist/rev/head/proc/make_assistant_icon(hairstyle)
 	var/mob/living/carbon/human/dummy/consistent/assistant = new
 	assistant.hairstyle = hairstyle
-	assistant.update_hair()
+	assistant.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 
 	var/icon/assistant_icon = render_preview_outfit(/datum/outfit/job/assistant/consistent, assistant)
 	assistant_icon.ChangeOpacity(0.5)
diff --git a/code/modules/antagonists/thief/thief.dm b/code/modules/antagonists/thief/thief.dm
index 24a01d1e0c1..181185ed6ac 100644
--- a/code/modules/antagonists/thief/thief.dm
+++ b/code/modules/antagonists/thief/thief.dm
@@ -169,7 +169,6 @@
 	thief.dna.update_ui_block(DNA_GENDER_BLOCK)
 	thief.dna.update_ui_block(DNA_HAIR_COLOR_BLOCK)
 	thief.dna.update_ui_block(DNA_SKIN_TONE_BLOCK)
-	thief.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 	thief.update_body(is_creating = TRUE)
 
 	// This outfit is used by the assets SS, which is ran before the atoms SS
diff --git a/code/modules/clothing/outfits/event.dm b/code/modules/clothing/outfits/event.dm
index 7fdc712038b..e17d725d7f5 100644
--- a/code/modules/clothing/outfits/event.dm
+++ b/code/modules/clothing/outfits/event.dm
@@ -25,4 +25,4 @@
 	H.facial_hairstyle = "Beard (Full)"
 	H.hair_color = "#FFFFFF"
 	H.facial_hair_color = "#FFFFFF"
-	H.update_hair()
+	H.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_defense.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_defense.dm
index 5e02ee1b154..3005e0dc511 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_defense.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_defense.dm
@@ -664,7 +664,7 @@
 				emote("scream")
 				facial_hairstyle = "Shaved"
 				hairstyle = "Bald"
-				update_hair()
+				update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 				ADD_TRAIT(src, TRAIT_DISFIGURED, TRAIT_GENERIC)
 
 		update_damage_overlays()
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_update_icons.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_update_icons.dm
index 7871e5a7541..6f2e3b26aa5 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_update_icons.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_update_icons.dm
@@ -74,8 +74,7 @@ There are several things that need to be remembered:
 /mob/living/carbon/human/regenerate_icons()
 
 	if(!..())
-		update_body()
-		update_hair()
+		update_body(is_creating = TRUE)
 		update_inv_w_uniform()
 		update_inv_wear_id()
 		update_inv_gloves()
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species.dm
index 267017a39ad..cc4aa251ecf 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species.dm
@@ -783,7 +783,7 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_EMPTY(features_by_species)
 ///Proc that will randomise the hair, or primary appearance element (i.e. for moths wings) of a species' associated mob
 /datum/species/proc/randomize_main_appearance_element(mob/living/carbon/human/human_mob)
 	human_mob.hairstyle = random_hairstyle(human_mob.gender)
-	human_mob.update_hair()
+	human_mob.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 
 ///Proc that will randomise the underwear (i.e. top, pants and socks) of a species' associated mob
 /datum/species/proc/randomize_active_underwear(mob/living/carbon/human/human_mob)
@@ -1032,7 +1032,7 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_EMPTY(features_by_species)
 		return
 	target.facial_hairstyle = "Shaved"
 	target.hairstyle = "Bald"
-	target.update_hair()
+	target.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 
 //////////////////
 // ATTACK PROCS //
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species_types/felinid.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species_types/felinid.dm
index b4331a06986..244f864b559 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species_types/felinid.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species_types/felinid.dm
@@ -103,7 +103,7 @@
 /datum/species/human/felinid/prepare_human_for_preview(mob/living/carbon/human/human)
 	human.hairstyle = "Hime Cut"
 	human.hair_color = "#ffcccc" // pink
-	human.update_hair()
+	human.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 
 	var/obj/item/organ/internal/ears/cat/cat_ears = human.getorgan(/obj/item/organ/internal/ears/cat)
 	if (cat_ears)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species_types/humans.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species_types/humans.dm
index f08ca038bd1..8172575b592 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species_types/humans.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species_types/humans.dm
@@ -19,7 +19,7 @@
 /datum/species/human/prepare_human_for_preview(mob/living/carbon/human/human)
 	human.hairstyle = "Business Hair"
 	human.hair_color = "#bb9966" // brown
-	human.update_hair()
+	human.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 
 /datum/species/human/get_scream_sound(mob/living/carbon/human/human)
 	if(human.gender == MALE)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob_spawn/mob_spawn.dm b/code/modules/mob_spawn/mob_spawn.dm
index 6db07990ae9..2348bef2a1f 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob_spawn/mob_spawn.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob_spawn/mob_spawn.dm
@@ -74,8 +74,7 @@
 			spawned_human.skin_tone = skin_tone
 		else
 			spawned_human.skin_tone = random_skin_tone()
-		spawned_human.update_hair()
-		spawned_human.update_body()
+		spawned_human.update_body(is_creating = TRUE)
 
 /obj/effect/mob_spawn/proc/name_mob(mob/living/spawned_mob, forced_name)
 	var/chosen_name
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/alcohol_reagents.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/alcohol_reagents.dm
index dd8b2914a70..e13186b5f01 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/alcohol_reagents.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/alcohol_reagents.dm
@@ -2388,12 +2388,12 @@ All effects don't start immediately, but rather get worse over time; the rate is
 		if(metabolizer.age > 70)
 			metabolizer.facial_hair_color = "#cccccc"
 			metabolizer.hair_color = "#cccccc"
-			metabolizer.update_hair()
+			metabolizer.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 			if(metabolizer.age > 100)
 				metabolizer.become_nearsighted(type)
 				if(metabolizer.gender == MALE)
 					metabolizer.facial_hairstyle = "Beard (Very Long)"
-					metabolizer.update_hair()
+					metabolizer.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 
 				if(metabolizer.age > 969) //Best not let people get older than this or i might incur G-ds wrath
 					metabolizer.visible_message(span_notice("[metabolizer] becomes older than any man should be.. and crumbles into dust!"))
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/drug_reagents.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/drug_reagents.dm
index 797efddc8a9..40c5a926a8e 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/drug_reagents.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/drug_reagents.dm
@@ -121,7 +121,7 @@
 			var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = M
 			H.facial_hairstyle = "Shaved"
 			H.hairstyle = "Bald"
-			H.update_hair() // makes you loose hair as well
+			H.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE) // makes you loose hair as well
 			M.set_species(/datum/species/human/krokodil_addict)
 			M.adjustBruteLoss(50*REM, 0) // holy shit your skin just FELL THE FUCK OFF
 	..()
@@ -692,7 +692,6 @@
 		druggy_dna.species.species_traits += NOBLOODOVERLAY
 
 	invisible_man.update_body()
-	invisible_man.update_hair()
 	invisible_man.remove_from_all_data_huds()
 	invisible_man.sound_environment_override = SOUND_ENVIROMENT_PHASED
 
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/other_reagents.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/other_reagents.dm
index e9700c75212..ead19d86b8b 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/other_reagents.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/other_reagents.dm
@@ -2208,7 +2208,7 @@
 	to_chat(exposed_human, span_notice("Hair starts sprouting from your scalp."))
 	exposed_human.hairstyle = picked_hair
 	exposed_human.facial_hairstyle = picked_beard
-	exposed_human.update_hair()
+	exposed_human.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 
 /datum/reagent/concentrated_barbers_aid
 	name = "Concentrated Barber's Aid"
@@ -2228,7 +2228,29 @@
 	to_chat(exposed_human, span_notice("Your hair starts growing at an incredible speed!"))
 	exposed_human.hairstyle = "Very Long Hair"
 	exposed_human.facial_hairstyle = "Beard (Very Long)"
-	exposed_human.update_hair()
+	exposed_human.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
+
+/datum/reagent/concentrated_barbers_aid/on_mob_life(mob/living/carbon/M, delta_time, times_fired)
+	. = ..()
+	if(current_cycle > 20 / creation_purity)
+		if(!ishuman(M))
+			return
+		var/mob/living/carbon/human/human_mob = M
+		if(creation_purity == 1 && human_mob.has_quirk(/datum/quirk/item_quirk/bald))
+			human_mob.remove_quirk(/datum/quirk/item_quirk/bald)
+		var/datum/species/species_datum = human_mob.dna?.species
+		if(!species_datum)
+			return
+		if(species_datum.species_traits.Find(HAIR))
+			return
+		species_datum.species_traits |= HAIR
+		var/message
+		if(HAS_TRAIT(M, TRAIT_BALD))
+			message = span_warning("You feel your scalp mutate, but you are still hopelessly bald.")
+		else
+			message = span_notice("Your scalp mutates, a full head of hair sprouting from it.")
+		to_chat(M, message)
+		human_mob.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 
 /datum/reagent/baldium
 	name = "Baldium"
@@ -2248,7 +2270,7 @@
 	to_chat(exposed_human, span_danger("Your hair is falling out in clumps!"))
 	exposed_human.hairstyle = "Bald"
 	exposed_human.facial_hairstyle = "Shaved"
-	exposed_human.update_hair()
+	exposed_human.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 
 /datum/reagent/saltpetre
 	name = "Saltpetre"
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/withdrawal/generic_addictions.dm b/code/modules/reagents/withdrawal/generic_addictions.dm
index d6b704f625e..8280950034b 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/withdrawal/generic_addictions.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/withdrawal/generic_addictions.dm
@@ -111,7 +111,7 @@
 	if(affected_human.gender == MALE)
 		to_chat(affected_human, span_warning("Your chin itches."))
 		affected_human.facial_hairstyle = "Beard (Full)"
-		affected_human.update_hair()
+		affected_human.update_hair(is_creating = TRUE)
 	//Only like gross food
 	affected_human.dna?.species.liked_food = GROSS
 	affected_human.dna?.species.disliked_food = NONE
diff --git a/code/modules/unit_tests/screenshots/screenshot_antag_icons_headrevolutionary.png b/code/modules/unit_tests/screenshots/screenshot_antag_icons_headrevolutionary.png
index 50be89b8a80..d339c634eba 100644
Binary files a/code/modules/unit_tests/screenshots/screenshot_antag_icons_headrevolutionary.png and b/code/modules/unit_tests/screenshots/screenshot_antag_icons_headrevolutionary.png differ
diff --git a/code/modules/unit_tests/screenshots/screenshot_antag_icons_provocateur.png b/code/modules/unit_tests/screenshots/screenshot_antag_icons_provocateur.png
index 50be89b8a80..d339c634eba 100644
Binary files a/code/modules/unit_tests/screenshots/screenshot_antag_icons_provocateur.png and b/code/modules/unit_tests/screenshots/screenshot_antag_icons_provocateur.png differ