diff --git a/code/controllers/subsystem/processing/quirks.dm b/code/controllers/subsystem/processing/quirks.dm
index ae200c01320..000f5b9b64d 100644
--- a/code/controllers/subsystem/processing/quirks.dm
+++ b/code/controllers/subsystem/processing/quirks.dm
@@ -27,7 +27,7 @@ PROCESSING_SUBSYSTEM_DEF(quirks)
 		list("Bad Touch", "Friendly"),
 		list("Extrovert", "Introvert"),
 		list("Prosthetic Limb", "Quadruple Amputee", "Body Purist"),
-		list("Quadruple Amputee", "Paraplegic"),
+		list("Quadruple Amputee", "Paraplegic", "Hemiplegic"),
 		list("Quadruple Amputee", "Frail"),
 		list("Social Anxiety", "Mute"),
 		list("Mute", "Soft-Spoken"),
diff --git a/code/datums/brain_damage/severe.dm b/code/datums/brain_damage/severe.dm
index 84a49b8eeb2..0174e517756 100644
--- a/code/datums/brain_damage/severe.dm
+++ b/code/datums/brain_damage/severe.dm
@@ -119,6 +119,16 @@
 	paralysis_type = "legs"
 	resilience = TRAUMA_RESILIENCE_ABSOLUTE
 
+/datum/brain_trauma/severe/paralysis/hemiplegic
+	random_gain = FALSE
+	resilience = TRAUMA_RESILIENCE_ABSOLUTE
+
+/datum/brain_trauma/severe/paralysis/hemiplegic/left
+	paralysis_type = "left"
+
+/datum/brain_trauma/severe/paralysis/hemiplegic/right
+	paralysis_type = "right"
+
 /datum/brain_trauma/severe/narcolepsy
 	name = "Narcolepsy"
 	desc = "Patient may involuntarily fall asleep during normal activities."
diff --git a/code/datums/quirks/negative_quirks.dm b/code/datums/quirks/negative_quirks.dm
index d60085ea782..502480727ab 100644
--- a/code/datums/quirks/negative_quirks.dm
+++ b/code/datums/quirks/negative_quirks.dm
@@ -531,6 +531,29 @@
 	var/mob/living/carbon/human/human_holder = quirk_holder
 	human_holder.cure_trauma_type(/datum/brain_trauma/severe/paralysis/paraplegic, TRAUMA_RESILIENCE_ABSOLUTE)
 
+/datum/quirk/hemiplegic
+	name = "Hemiplegic"
+	desc = "Half of your body doesn't work. Nothing will ever fix this."
+	icon = FA_ICON_CIRCLE_HALF_STROKE
+	value = -10 // slightly more bearable than paraplegic but not by much
+	gain_text = null // Handled by trauma.
+	lose_text = null
+	medical_record_text = "Patient has an untreatable impairment in motor function on half of their body."
+	hardcore_value = 10
+	mail_goodies = list(
+		/obj/item/stack/sheet/mineral/uranium/half, //half a stack of a material that has a half life
+		/obj/item/reagent_containers/cup/glass/drinkingglass/filled/half_full,
+	)
+
+/datum/quirk/hemiplegic/add(client/client_source)
+	var/mob/living/carbon/human/human_holder = quirk_holder
+	var/trauma_type = pick(/datum/brain_trauma/severe/paralysis/hemiplegic/left, /datum/brain_trauma/severe/paralysis/hemiplegic/right)
+	human_holder.gain_trauma(trauma_type, TRAUMA_RESILIENCE_ABSOLUTE)
+
+/datum/quirk/hemiplegic/remove()
+	var/mob/living/carbon/human/human_holder = quirk_holder
+	human_holder.cure_trauma_type(/datum/brain_trauma/severe/paralysis/hemiplegic, TRAUMA_RESILIENCE_ABSOLUTE)
+
 /datum/quirk/poor_aim
 	name = "Stormtrooper Aim"
 	desc = "You've never hit anything you were aiming for in your life."
diff --git a/code/game/objects/items/stacks/sheets/mineral.dm b/code/game/objects/items/stacks/sheets/mineral.dm
index 527af398bd2..710a82a3324 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/items/stacks/sheets/mineral.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/items/stacks/sheets/mineral.dm
@@ -141,6 +141,9 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(uranium_recipes, list ( \
 /obj/item/stack/sheet/mineral/uranium/five
 	amount = 5
 
+/obj/item/stack/sheet/mineral/uranium/half
+	amount = 25
+
 /*
  * Plasma
  */
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/reagent_containers/cups/drinkingglass.dm b/code/modules/reagents/reagent_containers/cups/drinkingglass.dm
index 280da37f327..c32c83effa9 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/reagent_containers/cups/drinkingglass.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/reagent_containers/cups/drinkingglass.dm
@@ -100,3 +100,12 @@
 /obj/item/reagent_containers/cup/glass/drinkingglass/filled/nuka_cola
 	name = "Nuka Cola"
 	list_reagents = list(/datum/reagent/consumable/nuka_cola = 50)
+
+/obj/item/reagent_containers/cup/glass/drinkingglass/filled/half_full
+	name = "half full glass of water"
+	desc  = "It's a glass of water. It seems half full. Or is it half empty? You're pretty sure it's full of shit."
+	list_reagents = list(/datum/reagent/water = 25)
+
+/obj/item/reagent_containers/cup/glass/drinkingglass/filled/half_full/Initialize(mapload, vol)
+	. = ..()
+	name = "[pick("half full", "half empty")] glass of water"