diff --git a/code/game/gamemodes/blob/blobs/blob_mobs.dm b/code/game/gamemodes/blob/blobs/blob_mobs.dm
index d3a367e5e64..2df7b07445a 100644
--- a/code/game/gamemodes/blob/blobs/blob_mobs.dm
+++ b/code/game/gamemodes/blob/blobs/blob_mobs.dm
@@ -92,7 +92,7 @@
 	H.loc = src
 	loc.visible_message("<span class='warning'> The corpse of [H.name] suddenly rises!</span>")
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/blob/blobspore/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/blob/blobspore/death(gibbed)
 	// On death, create a small smoke of harmful gas (s-Acid)
 	var/datum/effect/effect/system/chem_smoke_spread/S = new
 	var/turf/location = get_turf(src)
@@ -165,6 +165,6 @@
 /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/blob/blobbernaut/blob_act()
 	return
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/blob/blobbernaut/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/blob/blobbernaut/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	flick("blobbernaut_death", src)
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/code/modules/mining/equipment_locker.dm b/code/modules/mining/equipment_locker.dm
index 4ce35c8a06e..402fa8f956a 100644
--- a/code/modules/mining/equipment_locker.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mining/equipment_locker.dm
@@ -628,7 +628,7 @@
 		return
 	..()
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mining_drone/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mining_drone/death()
 	..()
 	visible_message("<span class='danger'>[src] is destroyed!</span>")
 	new /obj/effect/decal/cleanable/robot_debris(src.loc)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/death.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/death.dm
index deca15ff0f7..7994f95978a 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/death.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/death.dm
@@ -1,4 +1,6 @@
 /mob/living/carbon/death(gibbed)
+	eye_blind = max(eye_blind, 1)
+	silent = 0
 	med_hud_set_health()
 	med_hud_set_status()
 	..(gibbed)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/life.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/life.dm
index b4181b590a0..29bf40ef11a 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/life.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/life.dm
@@ -67,7 +67,7 @@
 ///////////////
 
 //Start of a breath chain, calls breathe()
-/mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_breathing()
+/mob/living/carbon/handle_breathing()
 	if(SSmob.times_fired%4==2 || failed_last_breath)
 		breathe() //Breathe per 4 ticks, unless suffocating
 	else
@@ -253,10 +253,10 @@
 	return
 
 
-/mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_changeling()
+/mob/living/carbon/handle_changeling()
 	return
 
-/mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_mutations_and_radiation()
+/mob/living/carbon/handle_mutations_and_radiation()
 	if(radiation)
 
 		switch(radiation)
@@ -281,7 +281,7 @@
 		radiation = Clamp(radiation, 0, 100)
 
 
-/mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_chemicals_in_body()
+/mob/living/carbon/handle_chemicals_in_body()
 	if(reagents)
 		reagents.metabolize(src)
 
@@ -304,16 +304,16 @@
 	updatehealth()
 	return
 
-/mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_blood()
+/mob/living/carbon/handle_blood()
 	return
 
-/mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_random_events()
+/mob/living/carbon/handle_random_events()
 	return
 
-/mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_environment(var/datum/gas_mixture/environment)
+/mob/living/carbon/handle_environment(var/datum/gas_mixture/environment)
 	return
 
-/mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_stomach()
+/mob/living/carbon/handle_stomach()
 	spawn(0)
 		for(var/mob/living/M in stomach_contents)
 			if(M.loc != src)
@@ -330,26 +330,21 @@
 						M.adjustBruteLoss(5)
 					nutrition += 10
 
-/mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_regular_status_updates()
+/mob/living/carbon/handle_regular_status_updates()
 
-	if(stat == DEAD)
-		eye_blind = max(eye_blind, 1)
-		silent = 0
-	else
-		updatehealth()
-		if(health <= config.health_threshold_dead || !getorgan(/obj/item/organ/brain))
-			death()
-			eye_blind = max(eye_blind, 1)
-			silent = 0
-			return 1
+	updatehealth()
+	if(health <= config.health_threshold_dead || !getorgan(/obj/item/organ/brain))
+		death()
+		return
 
-		if( (getOxyLoss() > 50) || (config.health_threshold_crit >= health) )
+	if(stat != DEAD)
+
+		if(getOxyLoss() > 50 || health <= config.health_threshold_crit)
 			Paralyse(3)
 
-		if(paralysis)
-			AdjustParalysis(-1)
-			stat = UNCONSCIOUS
-		else if(sleeping)
+		..()
+
+		if(sleeping && !paralysis)
 			handle_dreams()
 			adjustStaminaLoss(-10)
 			sleeping = max(sleeping-1, 0)
@@ -358,14 +353,6 @@
 				spawn(0)
 					emote("snore")
 
-		else if (status_flags & FAKEDEATH)
-			stat = UNCONSCIOUS
-
-		else
-			stat = CONSCIOUS
-
-		handle_disabilities()
-
 		//Dizziness
 		if(dizziness)
 			var/client/C = client
@@ -419,16 +406,6 @@
 		if(druggy)
 			druggy = max(druggy-1, 0)
 
-		if(stunned)
-			AdjustStunned(-1)
-			if(!stunned)
-				update_icons()
-
-		if(weakened)
-			weakened = max(weakened-1,0)
-			if(!weakened)
-				update_icons()
-
 		if(hallucination)
 			spawn handle_hallucinations()
 
@@ -442,28 +419,10 @@
 				qdel(a)
 
 		CheckStamina()
-	return 1
-
-/mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_disabilities()
-	//Eyes
-	if(disabilities & BLIND || stat)	//blindness from disability or unconsciousness doesn't get better on its own
-		eye_blind = max(eye_blind, 1)
-	else if(eye_blind)			//blindness, heals slowly over time
-		eye_blind = max(eye_blind-1,0)
-	else if(eye_blurry)			//blurry eyes heal slowly
-		eye_blurry = max(eye_blurry-1, 0)
-
-	//Ears
-	if(disabilities & DEAF)		//disabled-deaf, doesn't get better on its own
-		setEarDamage(-1, max(ear_deaf, 1))
-	else
-		// deafness heals slowly over time, unless ear_damage is over 100
-		if(ear_damage < 100)
-			adjustEarDamage(-0.05,-1)
-
+		return 1
 
 //this handles hud updates. Calles update_vision() and handle_hud_icons()
-/mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_regular_hud_updates()
+/mob/living/carbon/handle_regular_hud_updates()
 	if(!client)	return 0
 
 	update_action_buttons()
@@ -550,7 +509,7 @@
 
 	return 1
 
-/mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_vision()
+/mob/living/carbon/handle_vision()
 
 	client.screen.Remove(global_hud.blurry, global_hud.druggy, global_hud.vimpaired, global_hud.darkMask)
 
@@ -597,7 +556,7 @@
 			if(!client.adminobs)
 				reset_view(null)
 
-/mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_hud_icons()
+/mob/living/carbon/handle_hud_icons()
 	return
 
 /mob/living/carbon/proc/handle_hud_icons_health()
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/life.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/life.dm
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..effe89bda3e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/life.dm
@@ -0,0 +1,228 @@
+/mob/living/Life()
+	set invisibility = 0
+	set background = BACKGROUND_ENABLED
+
+	if (notransform)
+		return
+	if(!loc)
+		return
+	var/datum/gas_mixture/environment = loc.return_air()
+
+	if(stat != DEAD)
+
+		//Breathing, if applicable
+		handle_breathing()
+
+		//Updates the number of stored chemicals for powers
+		handle_changeling()
+
+		//Mutations and radiation
+		handle_mutations_and_radiation()
+
+		//Chemicals in the body
+		handle_chemicals_in_body()
+
+		//Blud
+		handle_blood()
+
+		//Random events (vomiting etc)
+		handle_random_events()
+
+		. = 1
+
+	//Handle temperature/pressure differences between body and environment
+	handle_environment(environment)
+
+	handle_fire()
+
+	//stuff in the stomach
+	handle_stomach()
+
+	update_canmove()
+
+	update_gravity(mob_has_gravity())
+
+	for(var/obj/item/weapon/grab/G in src)
+		G.process()
+
+	handle_regular_status_updates() // Status updates, death etc.
+
+	if(client)
+		handle_regular_hud_updates()
+
+	return .
+
+
+
+/mob/living/proc/handle_breathing()
+
+/mob/living/proc/handle_changeling()
+	return
+
+/mob/living/proc/handle_mutations_and_radiation()
+	if(radiation)
+
+		switch(radiation)
+			if(0 to 50)
+				radiation--
+				if(prob(25))
+					adjustToxLoss(1)
+					updatehealth()
+
+			if(50 to 75)
+				radiation -= 2
+				adjustToxLoss(1)
+				if(prob(5))
+					radiation -= 5
+				updatehealth()
+
+			if(75 to 100)
+				radiation -= 3
+				adjustToxLoss(3)
+				updatehealth()
+
+		radiation = Clamp(radiation, 0, 100)
+
+
+/mob/living/proc/handle_chemicals_in_body()
+	if(reagents)
+		reagents.metabolize(src)
+
+	if(drowsyness)
+		drowsyness--
+		eye_blurry = max(2, eye_blurry)
+		if(prob(5))
+			sleeping += 1
+			Paralyse(5)
+
+	confused = max(0, confused - 1)
+	// decrement dizziness counter, clamped to 0
+	if(resting)
+		dizziness = max(0, dizziness - 5)
+		jitteriness = max(0, jitteriness - 5)
+	else
+		dizziness = max(0, dizziness - 1)
+		jitteriness = max(0, jitteriness - 1)
+
+	updatehealth()
+	return
+
+/mob/living/proc/handle_blood()
+	return
+
+/mob/living/proc/handle_random_events()
+	return
+
+/mob/living/proc/handle_environment(var/datum/gas_mixture/environment)
+	return
+
+/mob/living/proc/handle_stomach()
+	return
+
+/mob/living/proc/handle_regular_status_updates()
+
+	if(stat != DEAD)
+		updatehealth()
+
+		if(paralysis)
+			AdjustParalysis(-1)
+			stat = UNCONSCIOUS
+
+		else if (status_flags & FAKEDEATH)
+			stat = UNCONSCIOUS
+
+		else
+			stat = CONSCIOUS
+
+		handle_disabilities()
+
+		if(stunned)
+			AdjustStunned(-1)
+			if(!stunned)
+				update_icons()
+
+		if(weakened)
+			weakened = max(weakened-1,0)
+			if(!weakened)
+				update_icons()
+
+		return 1
+
+/mob/living/proc/handle_disabilities()
+	//Eyes
+	if(disabilities & BLIND || stat)	//blindness from disability or unconsciousness doesn't get better on its own
+		eye_blind = max(eye_blind, 1)
+	else if(eye_blind)			//blindness, heals slowly over time
+		eye_blind = max(eye_blind-1,0)
+	else if(eye_blurry)			//blurry eyes heal slowly
+		eye_blurry = max(eye_blurry-1, 0)
+
+	//Ears
+	if(disabilities & DEAF)		//disabled-deaf, doesn't get better on its own
+		setEarDamage(-1, max(ear_deaf, 1))
+	else
+		// deafness heals slowly over time, unless ear_damage is over 100
+		if(ear_damage < 100)
+			adjustEarDamage(-0.05,-1)
+
+
+//this handles hud updates. Calles update_vision() and handle_hud_icons()
+/mob/living/proc/handle_regular_hud_updates()
+	if(!client)	return 0
+
+	handle_vision()
+	handle_hud_icons()
+
+	return 1
+
+/mob/living/proc/handle_vision()
+
+	client.screen.Remove(global_hud.blurry, global_hud.druggy, global_hud.vimpaired, global_hud.darkMask)
+
+	if(stat == DEAD)
+		sight |= SEE_TURFS
+		sight |= SEE_MOBS
+		sight |= SEE_OBJS
+		see_in_dark = 8
+		see_invisible = SEE_INVISIBLE_LEVEL_TWO
+	else
+		sight &= ~SEE_TURFS
+		sight &= ~SEE_MOBS
+		sight &= ~SEE_OBJS
+		see_in_dark = 2
+		see_invisible = SEE_INVISIBLE_LIVING
+		if(see_override)
+			see_invisible = see_override
+
+		if(blind)
+			if(eye_blind)
+				blind.layer = 18
+			else
+				blind.layer = 0
+
+				if (disabilities & NEARSIGHT)
+					client.screen += global_hud.vimpaired
+
+				if (eye_blurry)
+					client.screen += global_hud.blurry
+
+				if (druggy)
+					client.screen += global_hud.druggy
+
+				if(eye_stat > 20)
+					if(eye_stat > 30)
+						client.screen += global_hud.darkMask
+					else
+						client.screen += global_hud.vimpaired
+
+		if(machine)
+			if (!( machine.check_eye(src) ))
+				reset_view(null)
+		else
+			if(!client.adminobs)
+				reset_view(null)
+
+/mob/living/proc/handle_hud_icons()
+	return
+
+
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/living.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/living.dm
index 9dc994a1bad..66350b14641 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/living.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/living.dm
@@ -8,7 +8,6 @@ Sorry Giacom. Please don't be mad :(
 		push_mob_back(src, A.push_dir)
 */
 
-
 /mob/living/New()
 	. = ..()
 	generateStaticOverlay()
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/silicon/robot/life.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/silicon/robot/life.dm
index d90e464cee2..5fbf63a2a70 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/silicon/robot/life.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/silicon/robot/life.dm
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@
 		src.stat = 1
 
 
-/mob/living/silicon/robot/proc/handle_regular_status_updates()
+/mob/living/silicon/robot/handle_regular_status_updates()
 
 	if(src.camera && !scrambledcodes)
 		if(src.stat == 2 || wires.IsCameraCut())
@@ -129,7 +129,7 @@
 
 	return 1
 
-/mob/living/silicon/robot/proc/handle_regular_hud_updates()
+/mob/living/silicon/robot/handle_regular_hud_updates()
 
 	if (src.stat == 2 || src.sight_mode & BORGXRAY)
 		src.sight |= SEE_TURFS
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/constructs.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/constructs.dm
index 2f515596d37..336ca05e96a 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/constructs.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/constructs.dm
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@
 	for(var/spell in construct_spells)
 		mob_spell_list += new spell(src)
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/construct/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/construct/death()
 	..()
 	new /obj/item/weapon/ectoplasm (src.loc)
 	visible_message("<span class='danger'>[src] collapses in a shattered heap.</span>")
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/corgi.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/corgi.dm
index 6cfff764b88..da97a78c75d 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/corgi.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/corgi.dm
@@ -29,8 +29,8 @@
 	..()
 	regenerate_icons()
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/corgi/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/corgi/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	regenerate_icons()
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/corgi/revive()
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/drone/_drone.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/drone/_drone.dm
index 4a003c9a72f..704338b87b9 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/drone/_drone.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/drone/_drone.dm
@@ -94,8 +94,8 @@
 		pickVisualAppearence()
 
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/drone/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/drone/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	drop_l_hand()
 	drop_r_hand()
 	if(internal_storage)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/farm_animals.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/farm_animals.dm
index d976a50bf86..48349474c2d 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/farm_animals.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/farm_animals.dm
@@ -223,8 +223,8 @@ var/global/chicken_count = 0
 	pixel_y = rand(0, 10)
 	chicken_count += 1
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/chicken/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/chicken/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	chicken_count -= 1
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/chicken/attackby(var/obj/item/O as obj, var/mob/user as mob, params)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/mouse.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/mouse.dm
index ae67489e9e0..a20a7801d3b 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/mouse.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/mouse.dm
@@ -36,10 +36,10 @@
 /mob/living/simple_animal/mouse/proc/splat()
 	src.health = 0
 	src.icon_dead = "mouse_[body_color]_splat"
-	Die()
+	death()
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/mouse/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/mouse/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	if(!ckey)
 		var/obj/item/trash/deadmouse/M = new(src.loc)
 		M.icon_state = src.icon_dead
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/slime.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/slime.dm
index 85405278096..eed4bc24848 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/slime.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/friendly/slime.dm
@@ -25,7 +25,7 @@
 	..()
 	overlays += "aslime-:33"
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/slime/adult/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/slime/adult/death(gibbed)
 	for(var/i = 0, i<=1, i++)
 		var/mob/living/simple_animal/slime/S1 = new /mob/living/simple_animal/slime (src.loc)
 		S1.icon_state = "[colour] baby slime"
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/alien.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/alien.dm
index e08f84a93fd..909e17a36e6 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/alien.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/alien.dm
@@ -92,7 +92,7 @@
 	damage = 30
 	icon_state = "toxin"
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/alien/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/alien/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	visible_message("[src] lets out a waning guttural screech, green blood bubbling from its maw...")
 	playsound(src, 'sound/voice/hiss6.ogg', 100, 1)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/bees.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/bees.dm
index 66707ccf069..9a07fae29f4 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/bees.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/bees.dm
@@ -40,8 +40,8 @@
 	..()
 	update_bees()
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/poison/bees/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/poison/bees/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	qdel(src)
 	return
 
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/carp.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/carp.dm
index a7683dd7847..2c4fe2f9de8 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/carp.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/carp.dm
@@ -57,7 +57,7 @@
 	icon_living = "holocarp"
 	maxbodytemp = INFINITY
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/carp/holocarp/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/carp/holocarp/death()
 	qdel(src)
 	return
 
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/eyeballs.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/eyeballs.dm
index 46f2e679e22..4bebf1eaa72 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/eyeballs.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/eyeballs.dm
@@ -29,6 +29,6 @@
 	if(.)
 		emote("me", 1, "glares at [.]")
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/carp/eyeball/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/carp/eyeball/death()
 	qdel(src)
 	return
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/hivebot.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/hivebot.dm
index 11bbfa8a561..f6b7bfbf731 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/hivebot.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/hivebot.dm
@@ -46,8 +46,8 @@
 	health = 80
 	ranged = 1
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/hivebot/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/hivebot/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	visible_message("<b>[src]</b> blows apart!")
 	new /obj/effect/decal/cleanable/robot_debris(src.loc)
 	var/datum/effect/effect/system/spark_spread/s = new /datum/effect/effect/system/spark_spread
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/hostile.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/hostile.dm
index 3828dbdce6c..31a27c5246d 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/hostile.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/hostile.dm
@@ -229,9 +229,9 @@
 
 //////////////END HOSTILE MOB TARGETTING AND AGGRESSION////////////
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/death(gibbed)
 	LoseAggro()
-	..()
+	..(gibbed)
 	walk(src, 0)
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/proc/OpenFire(var/the_target)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic.dm
index e6f77f15489..4003bda143b 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic.dm
@@ -41,8 +41,8 @@
 	if(.)
 		emote("me", 1, "[Attackemote] [.].")
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	visible_message("<span class='danger'><b>[src]</b> stops moving!</span>")
 	qdel(src)
 
@@ -107,13 +107,13 @@
 	..()
 	icon_state = initial(icon_state)
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic/crate/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic/crate/death(gibbed)
 
 	var/obj/structure/closet/crate/C = new(get_turf(src))
 	// Put loot in crate
 	for(var/obj/O in src)
 		O.loc = C
-	..()
+	..(gibbed)
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic/crate/AttackingTarget()
 	. =..()
@@ -144,13 +144,13 @@ var/global/list/protected_objects = list(/obj/structure/table, /obj/structure/ca
 /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic/copy/Life()
 	..()
 	for(var/mob/living/M in contents) //a fix for animated statues from the flesh to stone spell
-		Die()
+		death()
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic/copy/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic/copy/death(gibbed)
 
 	for(var/atom/movable/M in src)
 		M.loc = get_turf(src)
-	..()
+	..(gibbed)
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic/copy/ListTargets()
 	// Return a list of targets that isn't the creator
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mining_mobs.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mining_mobs.dm
index 0e62f7f61b7..8bbfc2e7c7e 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mining_mobs.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mining_mobs.dm
@@ -108,12 +108,12 @@
 		if(3.0)
 			adjustBruteLoss(110)
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/basilisk/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/basilisk/death(gibbed)
 	var/counter
 	for(counter=0, counter<2, counter++)
 		var/obj/item/weapon/ore/diamond/D = new /obj/item/weapon/ore/diamond(src.loc)
 		D.layer = 4.1
-	..()
+	..(gibbed)
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/goldgrub
 	name = "goldgrub"
@@ -204,10 +204,10 @@
 	visible_message("<span class='danger'>The [P.name] was repelled by [src.name]'s girth!</span>")
 	return
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/goldgrub/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/goldgrub/death(gibbed)
 	alerted = 0
 	Reward()
-	..()
+	..(gibbed)
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/goldgrub/adjustBruteLoss(var/damage)
 	idle_vision_range = 9
@@ -253,10 +253,10 @@
 /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/hivelord/AttackingTarget()
 	OpenFire()
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/hivelord/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/hivelord/death(gibbed)
 	new /obj/item/asteroid/hivelord_core(src.loc)
 	mouse_opacity = 1
-	..()
+	..(gibbed)
 
 /obj/item/asteroid/hivelord_core
 	name = "hivelord remains"
@@ -318,7 +318,7 @@
 	spawn(100)
 		qdel(src)
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/hivelordbrood/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/hivelordbrood/death()
 	qdel(src)
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/goliath
@@ -367,9 +367,9 @@
 	anchored = 1
 	..()
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/goliath/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/goliath/death(gibbed)
 	anchored = 0
-	..()
+	..(gibbed)
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/goliath/OpenFire()
 	var/tturf = get_turf(target)
@@ -434,10 +434,10 @@
 		spawn(50)
 			qdel(src)
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/goliath/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/asteroid/goliath/death(gibbed)
 	var/obj/item/asteroid/goliath_hide/G = new /obj/item/asteroid/goliath_hide(src.loc)
 	G.layer = 4.1
-	..()
+	..(gibbed)
 
 /obj/item/asteroid/goliath_hide
 	name = "goliath hide plates"
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mushroom.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mushroom.dm
index c93b394050e..f06f3d4c28c 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mushroom.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mushroom.dm
@@ -87,9 +87,9 @@
 	icon_state = "mushroom_color"
 	UpdateMushroomCap()
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mushroom/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mushroom/death(gibbed)
 	visible_message("<span class='notice'>[src] fainted.</span>")
-	..()
+	..(gibbed)
 	UpdateMushroomCap()
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mushroom/proc/UpdateMushroomCap()
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/pirate.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/pirate.dm
index aae825a6538..71dde5bdd9a 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/pirate.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/pirate.dm
@@ -49,8 +49,8 @@
 	weapon1 = /obj/item/weapon/gun/energy/laser
 
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/pirate/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/pirate/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	if(corpse)
 		new corpse (src.loc)
 	if(weapon1)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/russian.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/russian.dm
index 3f143ea19fe..568d89794e4 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/russian.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/russian.dm
@@ -51,8 +51,8 @@
 		weapon1 = /obj/item/weapon/gun/projectile/shotgun/boltaction
 		casingtype = /obj/item/ammo_casing/a762
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/russian/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/russian/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	if(corpse)
 		new corpse (src.loc)
 	if(weapon1)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/syndicate.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/syndicate.dm
index 72b30675077..cfa97043bfd 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/syndicate.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/syndicate.dm
@@ -34,8 +34,8 @@
 	faction = list("syndicate")
 	status_flags = CANPUSH
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/syndicate/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/syndicate/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	if(corpse)
 		new corpse (src.loc)
 	if(weapon1)
@@ -160,8 +160,8 @@
 	minbodytemp = 0
 	mob_size = 0
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/viscerator/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/viscerator/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	visible_message("<span class='danger'><b>[src]</b> is smashed into pieces!</span>")
 	qdel(src)
 	return
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/tree.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/tree.dm
index 43ee23cf49b..c4ed28b8e18 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/tree.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/tree.dm
@@ -50,8 +50,8 @@
 			L.Weaken(3)
 			L.visible_message("<span class='danger'>\The [src] knocks down \the [L]!</span>")
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/tree/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/tree/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	visible_message("<span class='danger'><b>[src]</b> is hacked into pieces!</span>")
 	new /obj/item/stack/sheet/mineral/wood(loc)
 	qdel(src)
@@ -64,8 +64,8 @@
 	icon_dead = "festivus_pole"
 	icon_gib = "festivus_pole"
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/tree/festivus/Die()
-	..()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/tree/festivus/death(gibbed)
+	..(gibbed)
 	visible_message("<span class='danger'><b>[src]</b> is hacked into pieces!</span>")
 	new /obj/item/stack/rods(loc)
 	qdel(src)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/parrot.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/parrot.dm
index d49855fc02f..27549fcbfbc 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/parrot.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/parrot.dm
@@ -113,12 +113,12 @@
 			  /mob/living/simple_animal/parrot/proc/toggle_mode)
 
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/parrot/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/parrot/death(gibbed)
 	if(held_item)
 		held_item.loc = src.loc
 		held_item = null
 	walk(src,0)
-	..()
+	..(gibbed)
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/parrot/Stat()
 	..()
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/simple_animal.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/simple_animal.dm
index 0570e89ff65..b6bb2e9d2aa 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/simple_animal.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/simple_animal.dm
@@ -81,13 +81,12 @@
 	..()
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/updatehealth()
+	if(health > maxHealth)
+		health = maxHealth
 	return
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/Life()
 
-	update_gravity(mob_has_gravity())
-
-	//Health
 	if(stat == DEAD)
 		if(health > 0)
 			icon_state = icon_living
@@ -98,21 +97,12 @@
 			update_canmove()
 		return 0
 
+	updatehealth()
 
-	if(health < 1 && stat != DEAD)
-		Die()
-
-	if(health > maxHealth)
-		health = maxHealth
-
-	if(stunned)
-		AdjustStunned(-1)
-	if(weakened)
-		AdjustWeakened(-1)
-	if(paralysis)
-		AdjustParalysis(-1)
-
-	adjustEarDamage((ear_damage < 25 ? -0.05 : 0), -1)
+	if(health < 1)
+		death()
+	else
+		handle_regular_status_updates()
 
 	//Movement
 	if(!client && !stop_automated_movement && wander)
@@ -392,22 +382,14 @@
 	if(statpanel("Status"))
 		stat(null, "Health: [round((health / maxHealth) * 100)]%")
 
-/mob/living/simple_animal/proc/Die()
+/mob/living/simple_animal/death(gibbed)
 	health = 0 // so /mob/living/simple_animal/Life() doesn't magically revive them
-	dead_mob_list += src
 	icon_state = icon_dead
 	stat = DEAD
 	density = 0
-	return
-
-/mob/living/simple_animal/death(gibbed)
-	if(stat == DEAD)
-		return
-
 	if(!gibbed)
 		visible_message("<span class='danger'>\the [src] stops moving...</span>")
-
-	Die()
+	..()
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/ex_act(severity, target)
 	..()
@@ -426,7 +408,7 @@
 /mob/living/simple_animal/adjustBruteLoss(damage)
 	health = Clamp(health - damage, 0, maxHealth)
 	if(health < 1 && stat != DEAD)
-		Die()
+		death()
 
 /mob/living/simple_animal/proc/CanAttack(var/atom/the_target)
 	if(see_invisible < the_target.invisibility)
diff --git a/tgstation.dme b/tgstation.dme
index a74a3ce7694..a923cd4885f 100644
--- a/tgstation.dme
+++ b/tgstation.dme
@@ -1045,6 +1045,7 @@
 #include "code\modules\mob\living\damage_procs.dm"
 #include "code\modules\mob\living\death.dm"
 #include "code\modules\mob\living\emote.dm"
+#include "code\modules\mob\living\life.dm"
 #include "code\modules\mob\living\living.dm"
 #include "code\modules\mob\living\living_defense.dm"
 #include "code\modules\mob\living\living_defines.dm"