diff --git a/code/__DEFINES/ai/ai_blackboard.dm b/code/__DEFINES/ai/ai_blackboard.dm
index 23c16bdcd0b..90a9b55ba17 100644
--- a/code/__DEFINES/ai/ai_blackboard.dm
+++ b/code/__DEFINES/ai/ai_blackboard.dm
@@ -162,3 +162,6 @@
 // Used to hold state without making bigass lists
 /// For /datum/ai_behavior/find_potential_targets, what if any field are we using currently
 #define BB_FIND_TARGETS_FIELD(type) "bb_find_targets_field_[type]"
+
+///mothroach next meal key!
+#define BB_MOTHROACH_NEXT_EAT "mothroach_next_eat"
diff --git a/code/__DEFINES/ai/pet_commands.dm b/code/__DEFINES/ai/pet_commands.dm
index 7404cb9acda..5f03bf1a5b0 100644
--- a/code/__DEFINES/ai/pet_commands.dm
+++ b/code/__DEFINES/ai/pet_commands.dm
@@ -7,6 +7,6 @@
 #define BB_PET_TARGETING_STRATEGY "BB_pet_targeting"
 /// Typecache of weakrefs to mobs this mob is friends with, will follow their instructions and won't attack them
 #define BB_FRIENDS_LIST "BB_friends_list"
+/// List of strings we might say to encourage someone to make better choices.
+#define BB_OWNER_SELF_HARM_RESPONSES "BB_self_harm_responses"
 
-///mothroach next meal key!
-#define BB_MOTHROACH_NEXT_EAT "mothroach_next_eat"
diff --git a/code/datums/components/pet_commands/pet_commands_basic.dm b/code/datums/components/pet_commands/pet_commands_basic.dm
index 5ff476a85b9..d9ce0ccb56a 100644
--- a/code/datums/components/pet_commands/pet_commands_basic.dm
+++ b/code/datums/components/pet_commands/pet_commands_basic.dm
@@ -222,6 +222,8 @@
 	var/protect_range = 9
 	///the behavior we will use when he is attacked
 	var/protect_behavior = /datum/ai_behavior/basic_melee_attack
+	///message cooldown to prevent too many people from telling you not to commit suicide
+	COOLDOWN_DECLARE(self_harm_message_cooldown)
 
 /datum/pet_command/protect_owner/add_new_friend(mob/living/tamer)
 	RegisterSignal(tamer, COMSIG_ATOM_WAS_ATTACKED, PROC_REF(set_attacking_target))
@@ -252,6 +254,13 @@
 	var/mob/living/basic/owner = weak_parent.resolve()
 	if(isnull(owner))
 		return
+	if(source == attacker)
+		var/list/interventions = owner.ai_controller?.blackboard[BB_OWNER_SELF_HARM_RESPONSES] || list()
+		if (length(interventions) && COOLDOWN_FINISHED(src, self_harm_message_cooldown) && prob(30))
+			COOLDOWN_START(src, self_harm_message_cooldown, 5 SECONDS)
+			var/chosen_statement = pick(interventions)
+			INVOKE_ASYNC(owner, TYPE_PROC_REF(/atom/movable, say), chosen_statement)
+		return
 	var/mob/living/current_target = owner.ai_controller?.blackboard[BB_CURRENT_PET_TARGET]
 	if(attacker == current_target) //we are already dealing with this target
 		return
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/basic/icemoon/wolf/wolf_ai.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/basic/icemoon/wolf/wolf_ai.dm
index f0809d2ec86..423a33bb476 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/basic/icemoon/wolf/wolf_ai.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/basic/icemoon/wolf/wolf_ai.dm
@@ -7,7 +7,12 @@
 		BB_BASIC_MOB_FLEE_DISTANCE = 30,
 		BB_VISION_RANGE = 9,
 		BB_TARGET_MINIMUM_STAT = HARD_CRIT,
-		BB_REINFORCEMENTS_EMOTE = "unleashes a chilling howl, calling for aid!"
+		BB_REINFORCEMENTS_EMOTE = "unleashes a chilling howl, calling for aid!",
+		BB_OWNER_SELF_HARM_RESPONSES = list(
+			"*me howls in dissaproval.",
+			"*me whines sadly.",
+			"*me attempts to take your hand in its mouth."
+		)
 	)
 
 	ai_movement = /datum/ai_movement/basic_avoidance
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/basic/minebots/minebot_ai.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/basic/minebots/minebot_ai.dm
index 959049f957d..62aeaf3aa79 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/basic/minebots/minebot_ai.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/basic/minebots/minebot_ai.dm
@@ -9,6 +9,13 @@
 		BB_MINEBOT_AUTO_DEFEND = TRUE,
 		BB_BLACKLIST_MINERAL_TURFS = list(/turf/closed/mineral/gibtonite),
 		BB_AUTOMATED_MINING = FALSE,
+		BB_OWNER_SELF_HARM_RESPONSES = list(
+			"Please stop hurting yourself.",
+			"There is no need to do that.",
+			"Your actions are illogical.",
+			"Please make better choices.",
+			"Remember, you have beaten your worst days before."
+		)
 	)
 
 	ai_movement = /datum/ai_movement/basic_avoidance
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/basic/vermin/cockroach.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/basic/vermin/cockroach.dm
index 224c7161539..0680de631cb 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/basic/vermin/cockroach.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/basic/vermin/cockroach.dm
@@ -68,6 +68,10 @@
 	blackboard = list(
 		BB_TARGETING_STRATEGY = /datum/targeting_strategy/basic,
 		BB_PET_TARGETING_STRATEGY = /datum/targeting_strategy/basic/not_friends,
+		BB_OWNER_SELF_HARM_RESPONSES = list(
+			"*me waves its antennae in disapproval.",
+			"*me chitters sadly."
+		)
 	)
 
 	ai_traits = STOP_MOVING_WHEN_PULLED
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/basic/vermin/frog.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/basic/vermin/frog.dm
index 65b5dcbb277..a674169dbd5 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/basic/vermin/frog.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/basic/vermin/frog.dm
@@ -111,6 +111,10 @@
 	blackboard = list(
 		BB_TARGETING_STRATEGY = /datum/targeting_strategy/basic,
 		BB_PET_TARGETING_STRATEGY = /datum/targeting_strategy/basic/not_friends,
+		BB_OWNER_SELF_HARM_RESPONSES = list(
+			"*me licks its own eyeballs in disapproval.",
+			"*me croaks sadly."
+		)
 	)
 
 	ai_movement = /datum/ai_movement/basic_avoidance
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/basic/vermin/mouse.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/basic/vermin/mouse.dm
index f951b8c4898..3cce5e34817 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/basic/vermin/mouse.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/basic/vermin/mouse.dm
@@ -416,6 +416,11 @@
 		BB_BASIC_MOB_CURRENT_TARGET = null, // heathen
 		BB_CURRENT_HUNTING_TARGET = null, // cheese
 		BB_LOW_PRIORITY_HUNTING_TARGET = null, // cable
+		BB_OWNER_SELF_HARM_RESPONSES = list(
+			"*me cleans its whiskers in disapproval.",
+			"*me squeaks sadly.",
+			"*me sheds a single small tear."
+		)
 	)
 
 	ai_traits = STOP_MOVING_WHEN_PULLED
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/emote.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/emote.dm
index 68175333519..67358fa912a 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/emote.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/emote.dm
@@ -679,7 +679,7 @@
 	if(!can_run_emote(user, TRUE, intentional))
 		return FALSE
 
-	if(is_banned_from(user.ckey, "Emote"))
+	if(!isnull(user.ckey) && is_banned_from(user.ckey, "Emote"))
 		to_chat(user, span_boldwarning("You cannot send custom emotes (banned)."))
 		return FALSE
 
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/mob_say.dm b/code/modules/mob/mob_say.dm
index 7caa4489095..568aee66902 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/mob_say.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/mob_say.dm
@@ -181,7 +181,7 @@
 	var/customsaypos = findtext(message, "*")
 	if(!customsaypos)
 		return message
-	if (is_banned_from(ckey, "Emote"))
+	if (!isnull(ckey) && is_banned_from(ckey, "Emote"))
 		return copytext(message, customsaypos + 1)
 	mods[MODE_CUSTOM_SAY_EMOTE] = copytext(message, 1, customsaypos)
 	message = copytext(message, customsaypos + 1)