diff --git a/code/controllers/subsystem/eigenstate.dm b/code/datums/eigenstate.dm
similarity index 66%
rename from code/controllers/subsystem/eigenstate.dm
rename to code/datums/eigenstate.dm
index f167fdf24d1..3bba7463209 100644
--- a/code/controllers/subsystem/eigenstate.dm
+++ b/code/datums/eigenstate.dm
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
-///Subsystem used to teleport people to a linked web of itterative entries. If one entry is deleted, the 2 around it will forge a link instead.
-SUBSYSTEM_DEF(eigenstates)
-	name = "Eigenstates"
-	flags = SS_NO_INIT | SS_NO_FIRE
+GLOBAL_DATUM_INIT(eigenstate_manager, /datum/eigenstate_manager, new)
+
+///A singleton used to teleport people to a linked web of itterative entries. If one entry is deleted, the 2 around it will forge a link instead.
+/datum/eigenstate_manager
 	///The list of objects that something is linked to indexed by UID
 	var/list/eigen_targets = list()
 	///UID to object reference
@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@ SUBSYSTEM_DEF(eigenstates)
 	var/spark_time = 0
 
 ///Creates a new link of targets unique to their own id
-/datum/controller/subsystem/eigenstates/proc/create_new_link(targets)
+/datum/eigenstate_manager/proc/create_new_link(targets, subtle = TRUE)
 	if(length(targets) <= 1)
 		return FALSE
 	for(var/atom/target as anything in targets) //Clear out any connected
@@ -20,40 +20,44 @@ SUBSYSTEM_DEF(eigenstates)
 		if(!already_linked)
 			continue
 		if(length(eigen_targets[already_linked]) > 1) //Eigenstates are notorious for having cliques!
-			target.visible_message("[target] fizzes, it's already linked to something else!")
+			if(!subtle)
+				target.visible_message("[target] fizzes, it's already linked to something else!")
 			targets -= target
 			continue
-		target.visible_message("[target] fizzes, collapsing it's unique wavefunction into the others!") //If we're in a eigenlink all on our own and are open to new friends
+		if(!subtle)
+			target.visible_message("[target] fizzes, collapsing it's unique wavefunction into the others!") //If we're in a eigenlink all on our own and are open to new friends
 		remove_eigen_entry(target) //clearup for new stuff
 	//Do we still have targets?
 	if(!length(targets))
 		return FALSE
 	var/atom/visible_atom = targets[1] //The object that'll handle the messages
 	if(length(targets) == 1)
-		visible_atom.visible_message("[targets[1]] fizzes, there's nothing it can link to!")
+		if(!subtle)
+			visible_atom.visible_message("[targets[1]] fizzes, there's nothing it can link to!")
 		return FALSE
 
-	eigen_targets["[id_counter]"] = list() //Add to the master list
+	var/subtle_keyword = subtle ? "subtle" : ""
+	eigen_targets["[id_counter][subtle_keyword]"] = list() //Add to the master list
 	for(var/atom/target as anything in targets)
-		eigen_targets["[id_counter]"] += target
-		eigen_id[target] = "[id_counter]"
+		eigen_targets["[id_counter][subtle_keyword]"] += target
+		eigen_id[target] = "[id_counter][subtle_keyword]"
 		RegisterSignal(target, COMSIG_CLOSET_INSERT, PROC_REF(use_eigenlinked_atom))
 		RegisterSignal(target, COMSIG_QDELETING, PROC_REF(remove_eigen_entry))
-		RegisterSignal(target, COMSIG_ATOM_TOOL_ACT(TOOL_WELDER), PROC_REF(tool_interact))
+		if(!subtle)
+			RegisterSignal(target, COMSIG_ATOM_TOOL_ACT(TOOL_WELDER), PROC_REF(tool_interact))
 		target.RegisterSignal(target, COMSIG_EIGENSTATE_ACTIVATE, TYPE_PROC_REF(/obj/structure/closet,bust_open))
 		ADD_TRAIT(target, TRAIT_BANNED_FROM_CARGO_SHUTTLE, REF(src))
-		var/obj/item = target
-		if(item)
-			item.color = COLOR_PERIWINKLEE //Tint the locker slightly.
-			item.alpha = 200
-			do_sparks(3, FALSE, item)
+		if(!subtle)
+			target.add_atom_colour(COLOR_PERIWINKLEE, FIXED_COLOUR_PRIORITY) //Tint the locker slightly.
+			target.alpha = 200
+			do_sparks(3, FALSE, target)
 
 	visible_atom.visible_message("The items shimmer and fizzle, turning a shade of violet blue.")
 	id_counter++
 	return TRUE
 
 ///reverts everything back to start
-/datum/controller/subsystem/eigenstates/Destroy()
+/datum/eigenstate_manager/eigenstates/Destroy()
 	for(var/index in 1 to id_counter)
 		for(var/entry in eigen_targets["[index]"])
 			remove_eigen_entry(entry)
@@ -63,12 +67,12 @@ SUBSYSTEM_DEF(eigenstates)
 	return ..()
 
 ///removes an object reference from the master list
-/datum/controller/subsystem/eigenstates/proc/remove_eigen_entry(atom/entry)
+/datum/eigenstate_manager/proc/remove_eigen_entry(atom/entry)
 	SIGNAL_HANDLER
 	var/id = eigen_id[entry]
 	eigen_targets[id] -= entry
 	eigen_id -= entry
-	entry.color = COLOR_WHITE
+	entry.remove_atom_colour(FIXED_COLOUR_PRIORITY, COLOR_PERIWINKLEE)
 	entry.alpha = 255
 	UnregisterSignal(entry, list(
 		COMSIG_QDELETING,
@@ -83,13 +87,14 @@ SUBSYSTEM_DEF(eigenstates)
 			eigen_targets -= targets
 
 ///Finds the object within the master list, then sends the thing to the object's location
-/datum/controller/subsystem/eigenstates/proc/use_eigenlinked_atom(atom/object_sent_from, atom/movable/thing_to_send)
+/datum/eigenstate_manager/proc/use_eigenlinked_atom(atom/object_sent_from, atom/movable/thing_to_send)
 	SIGNAL_HANDLER
 
 	var/id = eigen_id[object_sent_from]
 	if(!id)
 		stack_trace("[object_sent_from] attempted to eigenlink to something that didn't have a valid id!")
 		return FALSE
+	var/subtle = findtext(id, "subtle")
 	var/list/items = eigen_targets[id]
 	var/index = (items.Find(object_sent_from))+1 //index + 1
 	if(!index)
@@ -104,19 +109,21 @@ SUBSYSTEM_DEF(eigenstates)
 	if(check_teleport_valid(thing_to_send, eigen_target, TELEPORT_CHANNEL_EIGENSTATE))
 		thing_to_send.forceMove(get_turf(eigen_target))
 	else
-		object_sent_from.balloon_alert(thing_to_send, "nothing happens!")
+		if(!subtle)
+			object_sent_from.balloon_alert(thing_to_send, "nothing happens!")
 		return FALSE
 	//Create ONE set of sparks for ALL times in iteration
-	if(spark_time != world.time)
+	if(!subtle && spark_time != world.time)
 		do_sparks(5, FALSE, eigen_target)
 		do_sparks(5, FALSE, object_sent_from)
-	spark_time = world.time
+		spark_time = world.time
 	//Calls a special proc for the atom if needed (closets use bust_open())
 	SEND_SIGNAL(eigen_target, COMSIG_EIGENSTATE_ACTIVATE)
-	return COMPONENT_CLOSET_INSERT_INTERRUPT
+	if(!subtle)
+		return COMPONENT_CLOSET_INSERT_INTERRUPT
 
 ///Prevents tool use on the item
-/datum/controller/subsystem/eigenstates/proc/tool_interact(atom/source, mob/user, obj/item/item)
+/datum/eigenstate_manager/proc/tool_interact(atom/source, mob/user, obj/item/item)
 	SIGNAL_HANDLER
 	to_chat(user, span_notice("The unstable nature of [source] makes it impossible to use [item] on [source.p_them()]!"))
 	return ITEM_INTERACT_BLOCKING
diff --git a/code/datums/station_traits/neutral_traits.dm b/code/datums/station_traits/neutral_traits.dm
index f12f9bed855..905bfed2e8e 100644
--- a/code/datums/station_traits/neutral_traits.dm
+++ b/code/datums/station_traits/neutral_traits.dm
@@ -362,6 +362,41 @@
 	show_in_report = TRUE
 	report_message = "There sure are a lot of trees out there."
 
+/datum/station_trait/linked_closets
+	name = "Closet Anomaly"
+	trait_type = STATION_TRAIT_NEUTRAL
+	show_in_report = TRUE
+	weight = 1
+	report_message = "We've reports of high amount of trace eigenstasium on your station. Ensure that your closets are working correctly."
+
+/datum/station_trait/linked_closets/on_round_start()
+	. = ..()
+	var/list/roundstart_non_secure_closets = GLOB.roundstart_station_closets.Copy()
+	for(var/obj/structure/closet/closet in roundstart_non_secure_closets)
+		if(closet.secure)
+			roundstart_non_secure_closets -= closet
+
+	/**
+	 * The number of links to perform.
+	 * Combined with 50/50 the probability of the link being triangular, the boundaries of any given
+	 * on-station, non-secure closet being linked are as high as 1 in 7/8 and as low as 1 in 16-17,
+	 * nearing an a mean of 1 in 9 to 11/12 the more repetitions are done.
+	 *
+	 * There are more than 220 roundstart closets on meta, around 150 of which aren't secure,
+	 * so, about 13 to 17 closets will be affected by this most of the times.
+	 */
+	var/number_of_links = round(length(roundstart_non_secure_closets) * (rand(350, 450)*0.0001), 1)
+	for(var/repetition in 1 to number_of_links)
+		var/closets_left = length(roundstart_non_secure_closets)
+		if(closets_left < 2)
+			return
+		var/list/targets = list()
+		for(var/how_many in 1 to min(closets_left, rand(2,3)))
+			targets += pick_n_take(roundstart_non_secure_closets)
+		if(closets_left == 1) //there's only one closet left. Let's not leave it alone.
+			targets += roundstart_non_secure_closets[1]
+		GLOB.eigenstate_manager.create_new_link(targets)
+
 /datum/station_trait/triple_ai
 	name = "AI Triumvirate"
 	trait_type = STATION_TRAIT_NEUTRAL
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/unique/eigenstasium.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/unique/eigenstasium.dm
index 1cb0e6204c2..7c18c7e2014 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/unique/eigenstasium.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/unique/eigenstasium.dm
@@ -118,4 +118,4 @@
 		lockers += closet
 	if(!length(lockers))
 		return
-	SSeigenstates.create_new_link(lockers)
+	GLOB.eigenstate_manager.create_new_link(lockers)
diff --git a/tgstation.dme b/tgstation.dme
index 158b4532abf..5a822d8ea49 100644
--- a/tgstation.dme
+++ b/tgstation.dme
@@ -721,7 +721,6 @@
 #include "code\controllers\subsystem\disease.dm"
 #include "code\controllers\subsystem\early_assets.dm"
 #include "code\controllers\subsystem\economy.dm"
-#include "code\controllers\subsystem\eigenstate.dm"
 #include "code\controllers\subsystem\events.dm"
 #include "code\controllers\subsystem\explosions.dm"
 #include "code\controllers\subsystem\fluids.dm"
@@ -859,6 +858,7 @@
 #include "code\datums\dna.dm"
 #include "code\datums\dog_fashion.dm"
 #include "code\datums\ductnet.dm"
+#include "code\datums\eigenstate.dm"
 #include "code\datums\emotes.dm"
 #include "code\datums\ert.dm"
 #include "code\datums\hailer_phrase.dm"