diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/Chemistry-Goon-Pyrotechnics.dm b/code/modules/reagents/Chemistry-Goon-Pyrotechnics.dm
index 0d503e6164f..0f20253e345 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/Chemistry-Goon-Pyrotechnics.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/Chemistry-Goon-Pyrotechnics.dm
@@ -101,10 +101,10 @@
 	id = "liquid_dark_matter"
 	result = "liquid_dark_matter"
 	required_reagents = list("stable_plasma" = 1, "radium" = 1, "carbon" = 1)
-	result_amount = 3
+	result_amount = null
 	required_temp = 474
 
-/datum/reagent/liquid_dark_matter/reaction_turf(var/turf/simulated/T, var/volume)
+/*/datum/reagent/liquid_dark_matter/reaction_turf(var/turf/simulated/T, var/volume)
 	if(istype(T, /turf/simulated/floor/))
 		goonchem_vortex(T, 0, 5, 3)
 		return
@@ -114,13 +114,13 @@
 	if(method == TOUCH)
 		var/turf/simulated/T = get_turf(M)
 		goonchem_vortex(T, 0, 5, 3)
-		return
+		return*/ //o god what the fuck goof
 /datum/chemical_reaction/liquid_dark_matter/on_reaction(var/datum/reagents/holder, var/created_volume)
 	var/turf/simulated/T = get_turf(holder.my_atom)
 	goonchem_vortex(T, 0, 5, 6)
 	return
 
-proc/goonchem_vortex(var/turf/simulated/T, var/setting_type, var/range, var/pull_times)
+/proc/goonchem_vortex(var/turf/simulated/T, var/setting_type, var/range, var/pull_times)
 	for(var/atom/movable/X in orange(range, T))
 		if(istype(X, /obj/effect))
 			continue  //stop pulling smoke and hotspots please