diff --git a/code/game/objects/items/devices/scanners.dm b/code/game/objects/items/devices/scanners.dm
index c099f6d3c1c..d88390354c1 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/items/devices/scanners.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/items/devices/scanners.dm
@@ -75,8 +75,17 @@ MASS SPECTROMETER
 	throw_range = 7
 	m_amt = 200
 	origin_tech = "magnets=1;biotech=1"
-	var/mode = 1;
+	var/mode = 1
+	var/scanchems = 0
 
+/obj/item/device/healthanalyzer/attack_self(mob/user)
+	if(!scanchems)
+		user << "<span class = 'notice'>You switch the health analyzer to scan chemical contents.</span>"
+		scanchems = 1
+	else
+		user << "<span class = 'notice'>You switch the health analyzer to check physical health.</span>"
+		scanchems = 0
+	return
 /obj/item/device/healthanalyzer/attack(mob/living/M as mob, mob/living/carbon/human/user as mob)
 
 	// Clumsiness/brain damage check
@@ -92,7 +101,10 @@ MASS SPECTROMETER
 
 	user.visible_message("<span class='notice'>[user] has analyzed [M]'s vitals.</span>")
 
-	healthscan(user, M, mode)
+	if(!scanchems)
+		healthscan(user, M, mode)
+	else
+		chemscan(user, M)
 
 	src.add_fingerprint(user)
 	return
@@ -176,7 +188,8 @@ MASS SPECTROMETER
 				user.show_message("<span class='danger'>Warning: Blood Level CRITICAL: [blood_percent]% [blood_volume]cl.</span> <span class='notice'>Type: [blood_type]</span>")
 			else
 				user.show_message("<span class='notice'>Blood Level Normal: [blood_percent]% [blood_volume]cl. Type: [blood_type]</span>")
-	// Reagent Scanning - Iamgoofball
+
+/proc/chemscan(var/mob/living/user, var/mob/living/M)
 	if(ishuman(M))
 		var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = M
 		if(H.reagents)
diff --git a/code/modules/hydroponics/grown.dm b/code/modules/hydroponics/grown.dm
index 86dd3b6a96d..ab3599cf9f8 100644
--- a/code/modules/hydroponics/grown.dm
+++ b/code/modules/hydroponics/grown.dm
@@ -131,7 +131,7 @@
 /obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/snacks/grown/poppy/add_juice()
 	if(..())
 		reagents.add_reagent("nutriment", 1 + round((potency / 20), 1))
-		reagents.add_reagent("cocaine", 3 + round((potency / 10), 1))
+		reagents.add_reagent("hotline", 3 + round((potency / 10), 1))
 		bitesize = 1 + round(reagents.total_volume / 3, 1)
 
 
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/Chemistry-Goon-420BlazeIt.dm b/code/modules/reagents/Chemistry-Goon-420BlazeIt.dm
index e45decf9c22..548b8dbb56d 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/Chemistry-Goon-420BlazeIt.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/Chemistry-Goon-420BlazeIt.dm
@@ -243,21 +243,21 @@ datum/reagent/crank/addiction_act_stage4(var/mob/living/M as mob)
 /datum/reagent/muriatic_acid
 	name = "Muriatic Acid"
 	id = "muriatic_acid"
-	description = "Fuck me, we needed those cooks."
+	description = "A chemical compound."
 	reagent_state = LIQUID
 	color = "#60A584" // rgb: 96, 165, 132
 
 /datum/reagent/caustic_soda
 	name = "Caustic Soda"
 	id = "caustic_soda"
-	description = "Fuck me, we needed those cooks."
+	description = "A chemical compound."
 	reagent_state = LIQUID
 	color = "#60A584" // rgb: 96, 165, 132
 
 /datum/reagent/hydrogen_chloride
 	name = "Hydrogen Chloride"
 	id = "hydrogen_chloride"
-	description = "Fuck me, we needed those cooks."
+	description = "A chemical compound."
 	reagent_state = LIQUID
 	color = "#60A584" // rgb: 96, 165, 132
 
@@ -427,35 +427,35 @@ datum/reagent/crank/addiction_act_stage4(var/mob/living/M as mob)
 
 /obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/drinks/muriatic_acid
 	name = "jug of muriatic acid"
-	desc = "Fuck me, we needed those cooks."
+	desc = "We needed those cooks."
 	icon_state = "chem_jug"
 	item_state = "carton"
 	list_reagents = list("muriatic_acid" = 50)
 
 /obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/drinks/caustic_soda
 	name = "jug of caustic soda"
-	desc = "Fuck me, we needed those cooks."
+	desc = "We needed those cooks."
 	icon_state = "chem_jug"
 	item_state = "carton"
 	list_reagents = list("caustic_soda" = 50)
 
 /obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/food/drinks/hydrogen_chloride
 	name = "jug of hydrogen chloride"
-	desc = "Fuck me, we needed those cooks."
+	desc = "We needed those cooks."
 	icon_state = "chem_jug"
 	item_state = "carton"
 	list_reagents = list("hydrogen_chloride" = 50)
 
-datum/reagent/cocaine
-	name = "Cocaine"
-	id = "cocaine"
+datum/reagent/hotline
+	name = "Hotline"
+	id = "hotline"
 	description = "It isn't just wrong. It's dead wrong."
 	reagent_state = LIQUID
 	color = "#60A584" // rgb: 96, 165, 132
 	overdose_threshold = 15
 	addiction_threshold = 10
 
-datum/reagent/cocaine/on_mob_life(var/mob/living/M as mob)
+datum/reagent/hotline/on_mob_life(var/mob/living/M as mob)
 	if(!M) M = holder.my_atom
 	var/high_message = pick("You feel alert.", "You feel like you can see everything more clearly.", "You feel like you need to relax and examine your surroundings.")
 	if(prob(5))
@@ -465,38 +465,40 @@ datum/reagent/cocaine/on_mob_life(var/mob/living/M as mob)
 	M.adjustBrainLoss(0.2)
 	M.adjustBruteLoss(-0.2)
 	M.adjustFireLoss(-0.2)
+	M.status_flags |= GOTTAGOFAST
+	M.adjustStaminaLoss(-3)
 	..()
 	return
-datum/reagent/cocaine/overdose_process(var/mob/living/M as mob)
+datum/reagent/hotline/overdose_process(var/mob/living/M as mob)
 	M.adjustBrainLoss(rand(1,20)*REM)
 	M.adjustToxLoss(rand(1,20)*REM)
 	M.adjustBruteLoss(rand(1,20)*REM)
 	M.druggy = max(M.druggy, 30)
 	M.hallucination += 30
 	if(prob(5))
-		M << pick("<span class = 'userdanger'>Your head feels like it's ripping apart!</span>","<span class = 'userdanger'>You wonder why the fuck did you decide to take cocaine.</span>","<span class = 'userdanger'>It hurts so bad!</span>","<span class = 'userdanger'>Please, end it now!</span>","<span class = 'userdanger'>Dear [ticker.Bible_deity_name] please no it hurts!</span>")
+		M << pick("<span class = 'userdanger'>Your head feels like it's ripping apart!</span>","<span class = 'userdanger'>You wonder why the fuck did you decide to take [src.name].</span>","<span class = 'userdanger'>It hurts so bad!</span>","<span class = 'userdanger'>Please, end it now!</span>","<span class = 'userdanger'>Dear [ticker.Bible_deity_name] please no it hurts!</span>")
 	..()
 	return
 
-datum/reagent/cocaine/addiction_act_stage1(var/mob/living/M as mob)
+datum/reagent/hotline/addiction_act_stage1(var/mob/living/M as mob)
 	M.adjustBrainLoss(rand(1,10))
 	M.hallucination += 30
 	M.druggy = max(M.druggy, 30)
 	..()
 	return
-datum/reagent/cocaine/addiction_act_stage2(var/mob/living/M as mob)
+datum/reagent/hotline/addiction_act_stage2(var/mob/living/M as mob)
 	M.adjustBrainLoss(rand(1,20))
 	M.hallucination += 30
 	M.druggy = max(M.druggy, 30)
 	..()
 	return
-datum/reagent/cocaine/addiction_act_stage3(var/mob/living/M as mob)
+datum/reagent/hotline/addiction_act_stage3(var/mob/living/M as mob)
 	M.adjustBrainLoss(rand(1,30))
 	M.hallucination += 30
 	M.druggy = max(M.druggy, 30)
 	..()
 	return
-datum/reagent/cocaine/addiction_act_stage4(var/mob/living/M as mob)
+datum/reagent/hotline/addiction_act_stage4(var/mob/living/M as mob)
 	M.adjustBrainLoss(rand(1,30))
 	M.hallucination += 30
 	M.druggy = max(M.druggy, 30)
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/Chemistry-Holder.dm b/code/modules/reagents/Chemistry-Holder.dm
index 97a12ded1c0..b1ddcf2e987 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/Chemistry-Holder.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/Chemistry-Holder.dm
@@ -369,7 +369,7 @@ datum/reagents/proc/del_reagent(var/reagent)
 
 datum/reagents/proc/check_gofast(var/mob/M)
 	if(istype(M, /mob))
-		if(M.reagents.has_reagent("morphine")||M.reagents.has_reagent("unholywater")||M.reagents.has_reagent("nuka_cola"))
+		if(M.reagents.has_reagent("morphine")||M.reagents.has_reagent("unholywater")||M.reagents.has_reagent("nuka_cola")||M.reagents.has_reagent("hotline")||M.reagents.has_reagent("methamphetamine"))
 			return 1
 		else
 			M.status_flags &= ~GOTTAGOFAST