diff --git a/code/__DEFINES/status_effects.dm b/code/__DEFINES/status_effects.dm
index d4fda9e71c7..4262472475a 100644
--- a/code/__DEFINES/status_effects.dm
+++ b/code/__DEFINES/status_effects.dm
@@ -102,10 +102,10 @@
 #define set_derpspeech(duration) set_timed_status_effect(duration, /datum/status_effect/speech/stutter/derpspeech)
 #define set_derpspeech_if_lower(duration) set_timed_status_effect(duration, /datum/status_effect/speech/stutter/derpspeech, TRUE)
 
-#define adjust_slurring(duration) adjust_timed_status_effect(duration, /datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/drunk)
-#define adjust_slurring_up_to(duration, up_to) adjust_timed_status_effect(duration, /datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/drunk, up_to)
-#define set_slurring(duration) set_timed_status_effect(duration, /datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/drunk)
-#define set_slurring_if_lower(duration) set_timed_status_effect(duration, /datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/drunk, TRUE)
+#define adjust_slurring(duration) adjust_timed_status_effect(duration, /datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/generic)
+#define adjust_slurring_up_to(duration, up_to) adjust_timed_status_effect(duration, /datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/generic, up_to)
+#define set_slurring(duration) set_timed_status_effect(duration, /datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/generic)
+#define set_slurring_if_lower(duration) set_timed_status_effect(duration, /datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/generic, TRUE)
 
 #define adjust_dizzy(duration) adjust_timed_status_effect(duration, /datum/status_effect/dizziness)
 #define adjust_dizzy_up_to(duration, up_to) adjust_timed_status_effect(duration, /datum/status_effect/dizziness, up_to)
diff --git a/code/datums/diseases/advance/symptoms/sensory.dm b/code/datums/diseases/advance/symptoms/sensory.dm
index 2d21f9f147a..6edc24eeeef 100644
--- a/code/datums/diseases/advance/symptoms/sensory.dm
+++ b/code/datums/diseases/advance/symptoms/sensory.dm
@@ -45,7 +45,10 @@
 	if(A.stage >= 3)
 		M.adjust_dizzy(-4 SECONDS)
 		M.adjust_drowsiness(-4 SECONDS)
-		M.adjust_slurring(-1 SECONDS)
+		// All slurring effects get reduced down a bit
+		for(var/datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/slur in M.status_effects)
+			slur.remove_duration(1 SECONDS)
+
 		M.adjust_confusion(-2 SECONDS)
 		if(purge_alcohol)
 			M.reagents.remove_all_type(/datum/reagent/consumable/ethanol, 3)
diff --git a/code/datums/status_effects/debuffs/drunk.dm b/code/datums/status_effects/debuffs/drunk.dm
index adba6538026..f9ca6afd193 100644
--- a/code/datums/status_effects/debuffs/drunk.dm
+++ b/code/datums/status_effects/debuffs/drunk.dm
@@ -144,17 +144,14 @@
 		if(drunk_value > BALLMER_PEAK_WINDOWS_ME) // by this point you're into windows ME territory
 			owner.say(pick_list_replacements(VISTA_FILE, "ballmer_windows_me_msg"), forced = "ballmer")
 
-	// There's always a 30% chance to gain some drunken slurring
-	if(prob(30))
-		owner.adjust_slurring(4 SECONDS)
+	// Drunk slurring scales in intensity based on how drunk we are -at 16 you will likely not even notice it,
+	// but when we start to scale up you definitely will
+	if(drunk_value >= 16)
+		owner.adjust_timed_status_effect(4 SECONDS, /datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/drunk, max_duration = 20 SECONDS)
 
 	// And drunk people will always lose jitteriness
 	owner.adjust_jitter(-6 SECONDS)
 
-	// Over 11, we will constantly gain slurring up to 10 seconds of slurring.
-	if(drunk_value >= 11)
-		owner.adjust_slurring_up_to(2.4 SECONDS, 10 SECONDS)
-
 	// Over 41, we have a 30% chance to gain confusion, and we will always have 20 seconds of dizziness.
 	if(drunk_value >= 41)
 		if(prob(30))
diff --git a/code/datums/status_effects/debuffs/speech_debuffs.dm b/code/datums/status_effects/debuffs/speech_debuffs.dm
index 7298696bfc1..2b095bf6047 100644
--- a/code/datums/status_effects/debuffs/speech_debuffs.dm
+++ b/code/datums/status_effects/debuffs/speech_debuffs.dm
@@ -191,14 +191,36 @@
 
 	return modified_char
 
-/datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/drunk
-	id = "drunk_slurring"
+/datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/generic
+	id = "generic_slurring"
 	common_prob = 33
-	uncommon_prob = 5
+	uncommon_prob = 0
 	replacement_prob = 5
 	doubletext_prob = 10
 	text_modification_file = "slurring_drunk_text.json"
 
+/datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/drunk
+	id = "drunk_slurring"
+	// These defaults are updated when speech event occur.
+	common_prob = -1
+	uncommon_prob = -1
+	replacement_prob = -1
+	doubletext_prob = -1
+	text_modification_file = "slurring_drunk_text.json"
+
+/datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/drunk/handle_message(datum/source, list/message_args)
+	var/current_drunkness = owner.get_drunk_amount()
+	// These numbers are arbitarily picked
+	// Common replacements start at about 20, and maxes out at about 85
+	common_prob = clamp((current_drunkness * 0.8) - 16, 0, 50)
+	// Uncommon replacements (burping) start at 50 and max out at 110 (when you are dying)
+	uncommon_prob = clamp((current_drunkness * 0.2) - 10, 0, 12)
+	// Replacements start at 20 and max out at about 60
+	replacement_prob = clamp((current_drunkness * 0.4) - 8, 0, 12)
+	// Double texting start out at about 25 and max out at about 60
+	doubletext_prob = clamp((current_drunkness * 0.5) - 12, 0, 20)
+	return ..()
+
 /datum/status_effect/speech/slurring/cult
 	id = "cult_slurring"
 	common_prob = 50