diff --git a/code/datums/mutations/speech.dm b/code/datums/mutations/speech.dm
index 780225a8d1a..a36c08b2dab 100644
--- a/code/datums/mutations/speech.dm
+++ b/code/datums/mutations/speech.dm
@@ -116,33 +116,25 @@
 		return
 	UnregisterSignal(owner, COMSIG_MOB_SAY)
 
-/datum/mutation/human/chav/proc/handle_speech(datum/source, list/speech_args)
-	var/message = speech_args[SPEECH_MESSAGE]
-	if(message)
-		message = " [message] "
-		message = replacetext(message," looking at  ","  gawpin' at ")
-		message = replacetext(message," great "," bangin' ")
-		message = replacetext(message," man "," mate ")
-		message = replacetext(message," friend ",pick(" mate "," bruv "," bledrin "))
-		message = replacetext(message," what "," wot ")
-		message = replacetext(message," drink "," wet ")
-		message = replacetext(message," get "," giz ")
-		message = replacetext(message," what "," wot ")
-		message = replacetext(message," no thanks "," wuddent fukken do one ")
-		message = replacetext(message," i don't know "," wot mate ")
-		message = replacetext(message," no "," naw ")
-		message = replacetext(message," robust "," chin ")
-		message = replacetext(message,"  hi  "," how what how ")
-		message = replacetext(message," hello "," sup bruv ")
-		message = replacetext(message," kill "," bang ")
-		message = replacetext(message," murder "," bang ")
-		message = replacetext(message," windows "," windies ")
-		message = replacetext(message," window "," windy ")
-		message = replacetext(message," break "," do ")
-		message = replacetext(message," your "," yer ")
-		message = replacetext(message," security "," coppers ")
-		speech_args[SPEECH_MESSAGE] = trim(message)
+/datum/mutation/human/chav/proc/handle_speech(datum/source, mob/speech_args)
+	SIGNAL_HANDLER
 
+	var/message = speech_args[SPEECH_MESSAGE]
+	if(message[1] != "*")
+		message = " [message]"
+		var/list/chav_words = strings("chav_replacement.json", "chav")
+
+		for(var/key in chav_words)
+			var/value = chav_words[key]
+			if(islist(value))
+				value = pick(value)
+
+			message = replacetextEx(message, " [uppertext(key)]", " [uppertext(value)]")
+			message = replacetextEx(message, " [capitalize(key)]", " [capitalize(value)]")
+			message = replacetextEx(message, " [key]", " [value]")
+		if(prob(30))
+			message += ", mate"
+		speech_args[SPEECH_MESSAGE] = trim(message)
 
 /datum/mutation/human/elvis
 	name = "Elvis"
diff --git a/strings/chav_replacement.json b/strings/chav_replacement.json
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..6f1544f8687
--- /dev/null
+++ b/strings/chav_replacement.json
@@ -0,0 +1,80 @@
+{
+
+    "chav": {
+		"fucking": "bloody",
+		"dick": "knob",
+		"dickhead": "bellend",
+		"coffee": "tea",
+		"pussy": "fanny",
+		"my": "me",
+		"stupid": "daft",
+		"looking at": "gawpin' at",
+		"head": "dome",
+		"bar": "pub",
+		"water": "wa'er",
+		"music": "tunes",
+		"dissapointed": "gutted",
+		"vacuum": "hoover",
+		"sus": "dodgy",
+		"sleep": "kip",
+		"tired": "knackered",
+		"fries": "chips",
+		"chips": "crisps",
+		"what": "wot",
+		"robust": "chin",
+		"windows": "windies",
+		"window": "windy",
+		"break": "do",
+		"your": "yer",
+		"no": "naw",
+		"mom": "mum",
+		"hair": "mop",
+		"nothing": "bugger all",
+		"food": "scran",
+		"security": [
+			"coppers",
+			"bobbies"
+		],
+		"friend": [
+			"mate",
+			"bruv",
+			"lad"
+		],
+		"great": [
+			"bangin'",
+			"sound"
+		],
+		"man": [
+			"mate",
+			"mans",
+			"bloke"
+		],
+		"isnt": [
+			"innit",
+			"aint it"
+		],
+		"dumb": [
+			"daft",
+			"stupid"
+		],
+		"idiot": [
+			"wanker",
+			"tosser",
+			"prick"
+		],
+		"little": [
+			"tad",
+			"wee"
+		],
+		"credits": [
+			"pounds",
+			"quid"
+		],
+		"drunk": [
+			"shitfaced",
+			"pissed"
+		],
+		"tough": "big"
+	}
+
+}