diff --git a/_maps/map_files/IceBoxStation/IcemoonUnderground_Above.dmm b/_maps/map_files/IceBoxStation/IcemoonUnderground_Above.dmm
index 2ce78a09a71..193c1938477 100644
--- a/_maps/map_files/IceBoxStation/IcemoonUnderground_Above.dmm
+++ b/_maps/map_files/IceBoxStation/IcemoonUnderground_Above.dmm
@@ -3162,9 +3162,9 @@
 /turf/open/floor/iron/dark,
 /area/service/hydroponics)
 "rN" = (
-/obj/structure/closet/crate/freezer,
 /obj/machinery/power/apc/auto_name/east,
 /obj/structure/cable,
+/obj/structure/closet/crate/secure/freezer/pizza,
 /turf/open/floor/iron,
 /area/cargo/warehouse)
 "rS" = (
diff --git a/code/__HELPERS/_lists.dm b/code/__HELPERS/_lists.dm
index a6f64518d82..2d3b9865d2d 100644
--- a/code/__HELPERS/_lists.dm
+++ b/code/__HELPERS/_lists.dm
@@ -203,6 +203,7 @@
 //2. Gets a number between 1 and that total
 //3. For each element in the list, subtracts its weighting from that number
 //4. If that makes the number 0 or less, return that element.
+//Will output null sometimes if you use decimals (e.g. 0.1 instead of 10) as rand() uses integers, not floats
 /proc/pickweight(list/L)
 	var/total = 0
 	var/item
diff --git a/code/game/objects/items/food/pizza.dm b/code/game/objects/items/food/pizza.dm
index 537faaa292e..6072923b769 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/items/food/pizza.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/items/food/pizza.dm
@@ -8,6 +8,8 @@
 	foodtypes = GRAIN | DAIRY | VEGETABLES
 	/// type is spawned 6 at a time and replaces this pizza when processed by cutting tool
 	var/obj/item/food/pizzaslice/slice_type
+	///What label pizza boxes use if this pizza spawns in them.
+	var/boxtag = ""
 
 /obj/item/food/pizza/MakeProcessable()
 	if (slice_type)
@@ -35,9 +37,9 @@
 	icon_state = "pizzamargherita"
 	food_reagents = list(/datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment = 25, /datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment/protein = 8, /datum/reagent/consumable/tomatojuice = 6, /datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment/vitamin = 5)
 	tastes = list("crust" = 1, "tomato" = 1, "cheese" = 1)
-	tastes = list("crust" = 1, "tomato" = 1, "cheese" = 1)
 	foodtypes = GRAIN | VEGETABLES | DAIRY
 	slice_type = /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/margherita
+	boxtag = "Margherita Deluxe"
 
 /obj/item/food/pizza/margherita/robo
 	food_reagents = list(/datum/reagent/nanomachines = 70, /datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment = 25, /datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment/protein = 8, /datum/reagent/consumable/tomatojuice = 6, /datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment/vitamin = 5)
@@ -60,6 +62,7 @@
 	food_reagents = list(/datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment = 25, /datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment/protein = 8, /datum/reagent/consumable/tomatojuice = 6, /datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment/vitamin = 8)
 	foodtypes = GRAIN | VEGETABLES| DAIRY | MEAT
 	slice_type = /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/meat
+	boxtag = "Meatlovers' Supreme"
 
 /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/meat
 	name = "meatpizza slice"
@@ -77,6 +80,7 @@
 	tastes = list("crust" = 1, "tomato" = 1, "cheese" = 1, "mushroom" = 1)
 	foodtypes = GRAIN | VEGETABLES | DAIRY
 	slice_type = /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/mushroom
+	boxtag = "Mushroom Special"
 
 /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/mushroom
 	name = "mushroom pizza slice"
@@ -94,6 +98,7 @@
 	tastes = list("crust" = 1, "tomato" = 2, "cheese" = 1, "carrot" = 1)
 	foodtypes = GRAIN | VEGETABLES | DAIRY
 	slice_type = /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/vegetable
+	boxtag = "Gourmet Vegetable"
 
 /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/vegetable
 	name = "vegetable pizza slice"
@@ -111,6 +116,7 @@
 	tastes = list("crust" = 1, "tomato" = 1, "cheese" = 1, "meat" = 1, "laziness" = 1)
 	foodtypes = GRAIN | VEGETABLES | DAIRY | MEAT | JUNKFOOD
 	slice_type = /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/donkpocket
+	boxtag = "Bangin' Donk"
 
 /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/donkpocket
 	name = "donkpocket pizza slice"
@@ -128,6 +134,7 @@
 	tastes = list("crust" = 1, "tomato" = 1, "cheese" = 1, "meat" = 1)
 	foodtypes = GRAIN | VEGETABLES | DAIRY
 	slice_type = /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/dank
+	boxtag = "Fresh Herb"
 
 /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/dank
 	name = "dank pizza slice"
@@ -139,12 +146,13 @@
 
 /obj/item/food/pizza/sassysage
 	name = "sassysage pizza"
-	desc = "You can really smell the sassiness."
+	desc = "You can almost taste the sassiness."
 	icon_state = "sassysagepizza"
 	food_reagents = list(/datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment = 20, /datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment/protein = 15, /datum/reagent/consumable/tomatojuice = 6, /datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment/vitamin = 6)
 	tastes = list("crust" = 1, "tomato" = 1, "cheese" = 1, "meat" = 1)
 	foodtypes = GRAIN | VEGETABLES | DAIRY
 	slice_type = /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/sassysage
+	boxtag = "Sausage Lovers"
 
 /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/sassysage
 	name = "sassysage pizza slice"
@@ -162,6 +170,7 @@
 	tastes = list("crust" = 1, "tomato" = 1, "cheese" = 1, "pineapple" = 2, "ham" = 2)
 	foodtypes = GRAIN | VEGETABLES | DAIRY | MEAT | FRUIT | PINEAPPLE
 	slice_type = /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/pineapple
+	boxtag = "Honolulu Chew"
 
 /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/pineapple
 	name = "\improper Hawaiian pizza slice"
@@ -195,6 +204,7 @@
 	food_reagents = list(/datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment = 25, /datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment/protein = 9, /datum/reagent/consumable/nutriment/vitamin = 6, /datum/reagent/iron = 10, /datum/reagent/medicine/omnizine = 30)
 	tastes = list("crust" = 1, "tomato" = 1, "cheese" = 1, "pepperoni" = 2, "9 millimeter bullets" = 2)
 	slice_type = /obj/item/food/pizzaslice/arnold
+	boxtag = "9mm Pepperoni"
 
 //fuck it, i will leave this at the food level for now.
 /obj/item/food/proc/try_break_off(mob/living/M, mob/living/user) //maybe i give you a pizza maybe i break off your arm
diff --git a/code/game/objects/structures/crates_lockers/crates/secure.dm b/code/game/objects/structures/crates_lockers/crates/secure.dm
index d12b5944c45..82439bb13a4 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/structures/crates_lockers/crates/secure.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/structures/crates_lockers/crates/secure.dm
@@ -54,6 +54,21 @@
 	name = "secure hydroponics crate"
 	icon_state = "hydrosecurecrate"
 
+/obj/structure/closet/crate/secure/freezer //for consistency with other "freezer" closets/crates
+	desc = "An insulated crate with a lock on it, used to secure perishables."
+	name = "secure kitchen crate"
+	icon_state = "kitchen_secure_crate"
+
+/obj/structure/closet/crate/secure/freezer/pizza
+	name = "secure pizza crate"
+	desc = "An insulated crate with a lock on it, used to secure pizza."
+	req_access = list(28)
+	tamperproof = 10
+
+/obj/structure/closet/crate/secure/freezer/pizza/PopulateContents()
+	. = ..()
+	new /obj/effect/spawner/lootdrop/pizzaparty(src)
+
 /obj/structure/closet/crate/secure/engineering
 	desc = "A crate with a lock on it, painted in the scheme of the station's engineers."
 	name = "secure engineering crate"
diff --git a/code/modules/cargo/packs.dm b/code/modules/cargo/packs.dm
index 0a5d4ec5c66..b1a8e307c0a 100644
--- a/code/modules/cargo/packs.dm
+++ b/code/modules/cargo/packs.dm
@@ -1801,7 +1801,8 @@
 
 /datum/supply_pack/organic/pizza
 	name = "Pizza Crate"
-	desc = "Best prices on this side of the galaxy. All deliveries are guaranteed to be 99% anomaly-free!"
+	desc = "Why visit the kitchen when you can have five random pizzas in a fraction of the time? \
+			Best prices this side of the galaxy! All deliveries are guaranteed to be 99% anomaly-free."
 	cost = CARGO_CRATE_VALUE * 10 // Best prices this side of the galaxy.
 	contains = list(/obj/item/pizzabox/margherita,
 					/obj/item/pizzabox/mushroom,
@@ -1809,15 +1810,37 @@
 					/obj/item/pizzabox/vegetable,
 					/obj/item/pizzabox/pineapple)
 	crate_name = "pizza crate"
+	///Whether we've provided an infinite pizza box already this shift or not.
 	var/static/anomalous_box_provided = FALSE
+	///The percentage chance (per pizza) of this supply pack to spawn an anomalous pizza box.
+	var/anna_molly_box_chance = 1
+	///Total tickets in our figurative lottery (per pizza) to decide if we create a bomb box, and if so what type. 1 to 3 create a bomb. The rest do nothing.
+	var/boombox_tickets = 100
+	///Whether we've provided a bomb pizza box already this shift or not.
+	var/boombox_provided = FALSE
 
 /datum/supply_pack/organic/pizza/fill(obj/structure/closet/crate/C)
 	. = ..()
-	if(!anomalous_box_provided)
-		for(var/obj/item/pizzabox/P in C)
-			if(prob(1)) //1% chance for each box, so 4% total chance per order
+
+	var/list/pizza_types = list(
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/margherita = 10,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/meat = 10,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/mushroom = 10,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/vegetable = 10,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/donkpocket = 10,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/dank = 7,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/sassysage = 10,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/pineapple = 10,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/arnold = 3
+	) //weighted by chance to disrupt eaters' rounds
+
+	for(var/obj/item/pizzabox/P in C)
+		if(!anomalous_box_provided)
+			if(prob(anna_molly_box_chance)) //1% chance for each box, so 4% total chance per order
 				var/obj/item/pizzabox/infinite/fourfiveeight = new(C)
 				fourfiveeight.boxtag = P.boxtag
+				fourfiveeight.boxtag_set = TRUE
+				fourfiveeight.update_icon()
 				qdel(P)
 				anomalous_box_provided = TRUE
 				log_game("An anomalous pizza box was provided in a pizza crate at during cargo delivery")
@@ -1825,7 +1848,34 @@
 					addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/anomalous_pizza_report), rand(300, 1800))
 				else
 					message_admins("An anomalous pizza box was silently created with no command report in a pizza crate delivery.")
-				break
+				continue
+
+		if(!boombox_provided)
+			var/boombox_lottery = rand(1,boombox_tickets)
+			var/boombox_type
+			switch(boombox_lottery)
+				if(1 to 2)
+					boombox_type = /obj/item/pizzabox/bomb/armed //explodes after opening
+				if(3)
+					boombox_type = /obj/item/pizzabox/bomb //free bomb
+
+			if(boombox_type)
+				new boombox_type(C)
+				qdel(P)
+				boombox_provided = TRUE
+				log_game("A bomb pizza box was created by a pizza crate delivery.")
+				message_admins("A bomb pizza box has arrived in a pizza crate delivery.")
+				continue
+
+		//here we randomly replace our pizzas for a chance at the full range
+		var/obj/item/food/pizza/replacement_type = pickweight(pizza_types)
+		pizza_types -= replacement_type
+		if(replacement_type && !istype(P.pizza, replacement_type))
+			QDEL_NULL(P.pizza)
+			P.pizza = new replacement_type
+			P.boxtag = P.pizza.boxtag
+			P.boxtag_set = TRUE
+			P.update_icon()
 
 /datum/supply_pack/organic/pizza/proc/anomalous_pizza_report()
 	print_command_report("[station_name()], our anomalous materials divison has reported a missing object that is highly likely to have been sent to your station during a routine cargo \
diff --git a/code/modules/food_and_drinks/pizzabox.dm b/code/modules/food_and_drinks/pizzabox.dm
index 0492ba1db27..99b8f6c38ab 100644
--- a/code/modules/food_and_drinks/pizzabox.dm
+++ b/code/modules/food_and_drinks/pizzabox.dm
@@ -19,6 +19,8 @@
 	var/open = FALSE
 	var/can_open_on_fall = TRUE //if FALSE, this pizza box will never open if it falls from a stack
 	var/boxtag = ""
+	///Used to make sure artisinal box tags aren't overwritten.
+	var/boxtag_set = FALSE
 	var/list/boxes = list()
 
 	var/obj/item/food/pizza/pizza
@@ -34,6 +36,8 @@
 
 /obj/item/pizzabox/Initialize()
 	. = ..()
+	if(pizza)
+		pizza = new pizza
 	update_icon()
 
 
@@ -44,6 +48,9 @@
 /obj/item/pizzabox/update_icon()
 	// Description
 	desc = initial(desc)
+	if(pizza && pizza.boxtag && !boxtag_set)
+		boxtag = pizza.boxtag
+		boxtag_set = TRUE
 	if(open)
 		if(pizza)
 			desc = "[desc] It appears to have \a [pizza] inside. Use your other hand to take it out."
@@ -211,6 +218,7 @@
 			if(!user.canUseTopic(src, BE_CLOSE))
 				return
 			to_chat(user, "<span class='notice'>You write with [I] on [src].</span>")
+			boxtag_set = TRUE
 			update_icon()
 			return
 	else if(is_wire_tool(I))
@@ -245,6 +253,14 @@
 	if(boxes.len >= 2 && prob(20 * boxes.len))
 		disperse_pizzas()
 
+/obj/item/pizzabox/examine(mob/user)
+	. = ..()
+	if(isobserver(user))
+		if(bomb)
+			. += "<span class='deadsay'>This pizza box contains [bomb_defused ? "an unarmed bomb" : "an armed bomb"].</span>"
+		if(pizza && istype(pizza, /obj/item/food/pizza/margherita/robo))
+			. += "<span class='deadsay'>The pizza in this pizza box contains nanomachines.</span>"
+
 /obj/item/pizzabox/proc/disperse_pizzas()
 	visible_message("<span class='warning'>The pizzas fall everywhere!</span>")
 	for(var/V in boxes)
@@ -272,56 +288,54 @@
 
 /obj/item/pizzabox/bomb/Initialize()
 	. = ..()
-	var/randompizza = pick(subtypesof(/obj/item/food/pizza))
-	pizza = new randompizza(src)
+	if(!pizza)
+		var/randompizza = pick(subtypesof(/obj/item/food/pizza))
+		pizza = new randompizza(src)
 	bomb = new(src)
 	wires = new /datum/wires/explosive/pizza(src)
 
-/obj/item/pizzabox/margherita/Initialize()
-	. = ..()
-	AddPizza()
-	boxtag = "Margherita Deluxe"
+/obj/item/pizzabox/bomb/armed
+	bomb_timer = 5
+	bomb_defused = FALSE
+	boxtag = "Meat Explosion"
+	boxtag_set = TRUE
+	pizza = /obj/item/food/pizza/meat
 
-/obj/item/pizzabox/margherita/proc/AddPizza()
-	pizza = new /obj/item/food/pizza/margherita(src)
+/obj/item/pizzabox/margherita
+	pizza = /obj/item/food/pizza/margherita
 
-/obj/item/pizzabox/margherita/robo/AddPizza()
-	pizza = new /obj/item/food/pizza/margherita/robo(src)
+/obj/item/pizzabox/margherita/robo
+	pizza = /obj/item/food/pizza/margherita/robo
 
-/obj/item/pizzabox/vegetable/Initialize()
-	. = ..()
-	pizza = new /obj/item/food/pizza/vegetable(src)
-	boxtag = "Gourmet Vegatable"
+/obj/item/pizzabox/vegetable
+	pizza = /obj/item/food/pizza/vegetable
 
-/obj/item/pizzabox/mushroom/Initialize()
-	. = ..()
-	pizza = new /obj/item/food/pizza/mushroom(src)
-	boxtag = "Mushroom Special"
+/obj/item/pizzabox/mushroom
+	pizza = /obj/item/food/pizza/mushroom
 
-/obj/item/pizzabox/meat/Initialize()
-	. = ..()
-	pizza = new /obj/item/food/pizza/meat(src)
-	boxtag = "Meatlover's Supreme"
+/obj/item/pizzabox/meat
+	pizza = /obj/item/food/pizza/meat
 
-/obj/item/pizzabox/pineapple/Initialize()
-	. = ..()
-	pizza = new /obj/item/food/pizza/pineapple(src)
-	boxtag = "Honolulu Chew"
+/obj/item/pizzabox/pineapple
+	pizza = /obj/item/food/pizza/pineapple
 
 //An anomalous pizza box that, when opened, produces the opener's favorite kind of pizza.
 /obj/item/pizzabox/infinite
 	resistance_flags = FIRE_PROOF | LAVA_PROOF | ACID_PROOF //hard to destroy
 	can_open_on_fall = FALSE
+	boxtag = "Your Favourite" //used to give it a tag overlay, shouldn't be seen by players
+	///List of pizzas this box can spawn. Weighted by chance to be someone's favorite.
 	var/list/pizza_types = list(
-		/obj/item/food/pizza/meat = 1,
-		/obj/item/food/pizza/mushroom = 1,
-		/obj/item/food/pizza/margherita = 1,
-		/obj/item/food/pizza/sassysage = 0.8,
-		/obj/item/food/pizza/vegetable = 0.8,
-		/obj/item/food/pizza/pineapple = 0.5,
-		/obj/item/food/pizza/donkpocket = 0.3,
-		/obj/item/food/pizza/dank = 0.1,
-	) //pizzas here are weighted by chance to be someone's favorite
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/meat = 10,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/mushroom = 10,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/margherita = 10,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/sassysage = 8,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/vegetable = 8,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/pineapple = 5,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/donkpocket = 3,
+		/obj/item/food/pizza/dank = 1,
+	)
+	///List of ckeys and their favourite pizzas. e.g. pizza_preferences[ckey] = /obj/item/food/pizza/meat
 	var/static/list/pizza_preferences
 
 /obj/item/pizzabox/infinite/Initialize()
@@ -330,28 +344,43 @@
 		pizza_preferences = list()
 
 /obj/item/pizzabox/infinite/examine(mob/user)
+	if(!open && ishuman(user))
+		attune_pizza(user) //pizza tag changes based on examiner
 	. = ..()
 	if(isobserver(user))
 		. += "<span class='deadsay'>This pizza box is anomalous, and will produce infinite pizza.</span>"
 
 /obj/item/pizzabox/infinite/attack_self(mob/living/user)
-	QDEL_NULL(pizza)
 	if(ishuman(user))
 		attune_pizza(user)
-	. = ..()
+	return ..()
 
-/obj/item/pizzabox/infinite/proc/attune_pizza(mob/living/carbon/human/noms) //tonight on "proc names I never thought I'd type"
-	if(!pizza_preferences[noms.ckey])
-		pizza_preferences[noms.ckey] = pickweight(pizza_types)
-		if(noms.has_quirk(/datum/quirk/pineapple_liker))
-			pizza_preferences[noms.ckey] = /obj/item/food/pizza/pineapple
-		else if(noms.has_quirk(/datum/quirk/pineapple_hater))
+/obj/item/pizzabox/infinite/proc/attune_pizza(mob/living/carbon/human/nommer) //tonight on "proc names I never thought I'd type"
+	if(!nommer.ckey)
+		return
+
+	//list our ckey and assign it a favourite pizza
+	if(!pizza_preferences[nommer.ckey])
+		if(nommer.has_quirk(/datum/quirk/pineapple_liker))
+			pizza_preferences[nommer.ckey] = /obj/item/food/pizza/pineapple
+		else if(nommer.has_quirk(/datum/quirk/pineapple_hater))
 			var/list/pineapple_pizza_liker = pizza_types.Copy()
 			pineapple_pizza_liker -= /obj/item/food/pizza/pineapple
-			pizza_preferences[noms.ckey] = pickweight(pineapple_pizza_liker)
-		else if(noms.mind && noms.mind.assigned_role == "Botanist")
-			pizza_preferences[noms.ckey] = /obj/item/food/pizza/dank
+			pizza_preferences[nommer.ckey] = pickweight(pineapple_pizza_liker)
+		else if(nommer.mind && nommer.mind.assigned_role == "Botanist")
+			pizza_preferences[nommer.ckey] = /obj/item/food/pizza/dank
+		else
+			pizza_preferences[nommer.ckey] = pickweight(pizza_types)
+	if(pizza)
+		//if the pizza isn't our favourite, delete it
+		if(pizza.type != pizza_preferences[nommer.ckey])
+			QDEL_NULL(pizza)
+		else
+			pizza.foodtypes = nommer.dna.species.liked_food //make sure it's our favourite
+			return
 
-	var/obj/item/pizza_type = pizza_preferences[noms.ckey]
-	pizza = new pizza_type (src)
-	pizza.foodtypes = noms.dna.species.liked_food //it's our favorite!
+	var/obj/item/food/pizza/favourite_pizza_type = pizza_preferences[nommer.ckey]
+	pizza = new favourite_pizza_type
+	boxtag_set = FALSE
+	update_icon() //update our boxtag to match our new pizza
+	pizza.foodtypes = nommer.dna.species.liked_food //it's our favorite!
diff --git a/code/modules/ruins/lavalandruin_code/pizzaparty.dm b/code/modules/ruins/lavalandruin_code/pizzaparty.dm
index a7776f4e6a8..590994451b5 100644
--- a/code/modules/ruins/lavalandruin_code/pizzaparty.dm
+++ b/code/modules/ruins/lavalandruin_code/pizzaparty.dm
@@ -5,5 +5,5 @@
 	loot = list(/obj/item/pizzabox/margherita = 3,
 				/obj/item/pizzabox/meat = 3,
 				/obj/item/pizzabox/mushroom = 3,
-				/obj/item/pizzabox/bomb = 1)
+				/obj/item/pizzabox/bomb/armed = 1)
 	lootdoubles = FALSE
diff --git a/icons/obj/crates.dmi b/icons/obj/crates.dmi
index 3f15cc67b22..98ccc6b2ff1 100644
Binary files a/icons/obj/crates.dmi and b/icons/obj/crates.dmi differ