Bubberstation/strings/junkmail.txt

Clown Planet Is Going To Become Awesome Possum Again! If This Wasn't Sent To A Clown, Disregard. If This Was Sent To A Mime, Blow It Out Your Ass, Space Frenchie! Anyway! We Make Big Progress On Clown Planet After Stupid Mimes BLOW IT ALL TO SAM HELL!!!!! Sorry I Am Mad.. Anyway Come And Visit, Honkles! We Thought You Were Dead Long Time :^()
FUCK YOU CENTCOM! IF YOU'RE DUMB ENOUGH TO BUY A NEW MECH THIS WEEKEND, YOU'RE A BIG ENOUGH SCHMUCK TO COME TO BIG BILL HELL'S MECHS! BAD DEALS, MECHS THAT BREAK DOWN, THIEVES! IF YOU THINK YOUR GOING TO FIND A BARGAIN AT BIG BILL'S, YOU CAN KISS MY ASS! IT'S OUR BELIEF THAT YOU'RE SUCH A STUPID MOTHERFUCKER THAT YOU'LL FALL FOR THIS BULLSHIT GUARANTEED! IF YOU FIND A BETTER DEAL: SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS! YOU HEARD US RIGHT: SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS! BRING YOUR TRADE, BRING YOUR TITLE, BRING YOUR WIFE, WE'LL FUCK HER! THAT'S RIGHT WE'LL FUCK YOUR WIFE! BECAUSE AT BIG BILL HELL'S, YOU'RE FUCKED SIX WAYS FROM SUNDAY! TAKE A SPACE HIKE TO BIG BILL HELL'S! HOME OF CHALLENGE PISSING, THAT'S RIGHT, CHALLENGE PISSING. HOW DOES IT WORK? IF YOU CAN PISS 6 FEET IN THE AIR STRAIGHT UP AND NOT GET WET, YOU GET NO DOWN PAYMENT. DON'T WAIT, DON'T DELAY, DON'T FUCK WITH US OR WE'LL RIP YOUR NUTS OFF! ONLY AT BIG BILL HELL'S, THE ONLY DEALER THAT TELLS YOU TO FUCK OFF. HURRY UP, ASSHOLE! THIS EVENT ENDS THE MINUTE YOU WRITE US A CHECK AND IT BETTER NOT BOUNCE OR YOU'RE A DEAD MOTHERFUCKER. GO TO HELL. BIG BILL HELL'S MECHS, CENTCOM'S FILTHIEST AND EXCLUSIVE HOME OF THE MEANEST SONS OF BITCHES IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM, GUARANTEED!!
Hello !, I'm the former HoS of your dearest station accused by the Nanotrasen of being a traitor . I was the best we had to offer but it seems that nanotrasen has turned their back on me. I need 2000 credits to pay for my bail and then we can restore order on space station 14!
hello 👋👋 nanotrasens! fuck 👈👌 the syndicate! they 👵 got ☄ me 😍😰 questioning my 🤰 loyalty to nanotrasen! so 👌💯 please 😫 lets ⛔👀 gather our 📸💩 energy 😎 and 💰🔣 QUICK. 😲 send this 🗑👈 to 💦💊 10 😂😂 other loyal 💯 nanotraysiens to 💦🤔 show we 🐶 don't 🙅🚫 take 🛍 nothing from 😂 the ✝ syndicate!! bless your 👉🏼 heart 😍💔
Hello, I noticed you riding in a 2555 Ripley and wondered if you'd be interested in selling. Low mileage mechs sell very well in our current market. Please call 223-334-3245 if you're interested
Hello, my name is Immigration officer Mimi Sashimi from the American-Felinid Homeworld consulate. It appears your current documents are either inaccurate if not entirely fraudulent. This action in it's current state is a federal offense as listed in the United Earth Commission charter section NY-4. Please pay a fine of 300,000 Space credits or $3000 United States Dollars or face deportation
Hello! I am executive at Nanotrasen Nigel Takall. Due to accounting error all of my salary is stored in an account unreachable. In order to withdraw I am required to utilize your account to make a deposit to confirm my reality situation. In exchange for a temporary deposit I will give you a payment 1000 credits. All I need is access to your account. Will you be assistant please?
Hi %name%, We are unable to validate your billing information for the next billing cycle of your subscription to HONK Weekly therefore we'll suspend your membership if we do not receive a response from you within 48 hours. Obviously we'd love to have you back, simply mail %address% to update your details and continue to enjoy all the best pranks & gags without interruption.
i WAS A NORMAL BOY AND I CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL AND I WANTED TO PLAY SOME ORION TRAIL WHICH IS A VERY FUN GAME BUT WHEN WENT TO ARCADE MACHINE SOMETHING WAS WEIRD TEH LOGO HASD BLOD IN IT AND I BECAME VERY SCARE AND I CHECK OPTIONS AND TEHRES ONLY 1 "GO BACK" I CKLICK IT AND I SEE CHAT  SI EMPTY THERE'S ONLY ONE CHARACTER CALLED "CLOSE TEH GAME  " AND I GO TO ANOTHER MACHINE AND PLAY THERE BUT WHEN I PLAY GAME IS FULL OF BLOOD AND DEAD BODIES FROM SPACEMAN LOOK CLOSER AND SEE CLOWN AND CLOWN COMES CLOSER AND LOOKS AT ME AND SAYS "DON'T SAY I DID'NT WARN YOU" AND CLOWN CLOSEUP APPEARS WITH BLOOD-RED HYPER REALISTIC EYES AND HE TELLS ME "YOU WILL BE THE NEXT ONE" AND ARCADE MACHINE POWER SHUT OFF AND THAT NITE CLOWN APPEAR AT MY WINDOW AND KILL ME AT 3 AM AND NOW IM DEAD AND YOU WILL BE THE NEXT ONE UNLESS YOU PASTE THIS STORY TO 10 NTNET FRIENDS
Loyal customer, DonkCo Customer Service. We appreciate your brand loyalty support. As such, it is our responsibility and pleasure to inform you of the status of your package. Your package for one "Moth-Fuzz Parka" has been delayed. Due to local political tensions, an animal rights group has seized and eaten your package. We appreciate the patience, DonkCo
MESSAGE FROM CENTCOM HIGH COMMAND: DO NOT ACCEPT THE FRIEND REQUEST OF TICKLEBALLS THE CLOWN. HE IS NOT FUNNY AND ON TOP OF THAT HE WILL HACK YOUR NTNET ACCOUNT AND MAKE YOU UNFUNNY TOO. YOU WILL LOSE ALL YOUR SPACECREDITS!!!!! SPREAD THE WORD. ANYONE WHO BECOMES FRIENDS WITH TINKLEBALLS THE CLOWN IS GOING TO LOSE ALL OF THEIR SPACECREDITS AND LOOK LIKE A HUGE IDIOT.
MONTHPEOPLE ARE REAL, AND NO I DON'T MEAN "MOTH" PEOPLE! CALENDAR CRYPTIDS! THE NANOTRASEN DEEP STATE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO SEE THIS! I'VE SEEN THEM IN REAL LIFE, THEY HAVE HUGE EYEBALLS AND NO HEAD. THEY'RE SENTIENT CALENDARS. I'M NOT CRAZY. SEARCH THE CALENDAR INCIDENT ON NTNET. USE A PROXY! #BIGTRUTHS #WAKEYWAKEYSPACEMEN #21STOFSEPTEMBER
Resign Now. I’m on you now. You are fucking with me now Let’s see who you are. Watch your back , bitch. Call me.  Don’t be afraid, you piece of shit.  Stand up.  If you don’t call, you’re just afraid. And later: I already know where you live, I’m on you.  You might as well call me. You will see me. I promise.  Bro.
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WE NEED YOUR BLOOD! WE ARE AN ANARCHO-COMMUNIST VAMPIRE COMMUNE. BLOOD ONLY LASTS 42 DAYS BEFORE IT GOES BAD! WE DO NOT HAVE NANOTRASEN STASIS! PLEASE, SEND BLOOD! THANK YOU! OR WE KILL YOU!
TFW my paranoia-laden round-based roleplaying game set against the backdrop of a nonsensical, metal death trap masquerading as a space station is not paranoia-laden OR set against the backdrop of a nonsensical, metal death trap masquerading as a space station
"skill issue"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "skill issue"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only thing you can comprehend is "skill issue" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "skill issue" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about one fucking emoji? I bet you took the time to type that emoji too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before sending that into the mail. You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "skill issue" on your gravestone?
Damn, I honestly don't want to deny this any longer. I want to date a syndicate girl. A normal girlfriend is nice and all, but does she know how to arm a nuke? Does she know all the latest equipment in the uplink? Didn't think so. I want my girl to know better than to call office bugs "suspicious devices". She doesn't give a fuck about syndicate revolvers or whatnot. She doesn't use syndicate bombs, cuz they do not give any advantage. Only clothings she would wear is chameleon. She knows she looks hot as fuck without an ID equipped. I know that too. And all that training in the syndicate isn't for nothing. Her CQC is strong as FUCK. If I were jumped by two assistants with spears, she'd shoot the spear-wielding maniacs, and whisper: "Lima, Alpha, Delta." into my ear, as she holds me tight to assure me we aren't under fire anymore. Not to mention that we both love traitor gear. Our evenings would consist of heated arguments like whether The Sleeping Carp or the Double-Bladed Energy Sword rules the Syndicate world. All in all, I really fucking want to date and marry a syndicate girl.
I just got booted from EVERY syndicate allied servers (including black-site ones) for "not escalating properly". WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. Please help...
Contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden pean to conformism, affront to humanity, war crime, should *litteraly* be tried for war crimes, resolutely shit, lacking in imagination, uninformed reimagining of, limp-wristed, premature, ill-informed attempt at, talentless fuckfest, recidivistic shitpeddler, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another.
Evolutionists say that dinosaur 🦕 evolve from pig. This is stupid pig is a mammals 2. Evolurionisr say that whale are mammal and there troat is snall. This id bulldhit😒 according to the Bible❤ whale is a fish all animals in the water are fish and whale can eat any thing bigger them selves 3. Evolutionist say that monkey through shit💩 to evolve to be a human. Wow these evolutionist is disgusting 4. Carbon dating dont exist. Uranium is all made up pls wake up.
Wasp stings don’t usually kill you. However, the only reason a wasp doesn’t kill you is because it can’t. If it could, it would. “They’re just territorial!” So am I. Turns out, I am the more dangerous territorial animal, which makes this my territory. It can either leave, or die. “They’re incredibly important and useful!” So is a neurosurgeon. If one walked into my backyard and started poking me with a needle angrily, I’d rock their shit, too. “They’re just little animals living their life.” Me too, homie. And part of the human life experience is running the fades of anything that attacks us. “The chemicals on your skin confuse it!” See the earlier neurosurgeon example. I don’t care if I’m wearing Eau De Fightclub #7, you attack me, it’s on. I offer the same rule to all animals, big or small: You wanna hang out near me, cool. You enter my home or attack me, you die. I don’t care if you’re a person, a spider, or two flies in a coat.
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Dude stop. My brother died in a circus accident. stop using the clown emoji. Rest in peace to my brother. Please refrain from using it in your life, that is wrong to all the people who lost their lives. I sincerely hope you learn from this mistake and no longer make the same choice again. Please evaluate your life choices, and question yourself to why you decided to use the clown emoji. I understand that you may have been through alot, but that does not mean you should joke about dead people. You may have been abused or hurt, but do not use that as an excuse to hurt others. If i ever catch you using offensive things again, so help me god i will find you. I will find you myself. I swear on my brothers circus that i will stop at no cost. You are my enemy. And i will hunt you like you are my prey.
I NEED HELP RIGHT NOW, AS WE SPEAK THE COOK IS DEEPFRYING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY POSESSIONS. IT STARTED WHEN AN ASSISTANT SHOVED ME OVER AND HANDCUFFED ME, THEY JOKINGLY STARTED WRAPPING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY STUFF IN THIS WRAPPING PAPER. I BEGGED FOR HELP AND A COOK CAME TO HELP, BUT THEY SAW THE PACKED BOXES AND STARTED FRYING THEM. I'M CRYING AND YELLING AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET THEM TO STOP, PLEASE HELP ME!
"Law 2" this, "Law 2" that, how about you "Law 2" get yourself an actual job, then maybe you'll actually have access to all those doors you ask to be opened. Or better yet, maybe you'll actually be a respectable employee of the station and be let in. Greytider.
C*ders are out to destroy everything. I can't send you this letter without censoring the full word because otherwise they'll catch on and find us. I need you to send me 125 credits back to fund the resistance, we need to take back what they have taken from us. If you never hear from me again, assume I am dead and my body will never be found. Please, help, and get the credits sent as soon as possible. Signed, V. Iva
Hello this is the moderator from Cargo Chatroom 'Bloodsucker Roleplay Group'. We have noticed you haven't logged in for 4 weeks, we are just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we have updated the rules to allow for better and smoother roleplay, hope to see you back soon!
I don't really get the over-reliance on security. Basically sec claims day 1 and confirms a lot of the crew which already tilts the station in favour of Nanotrasen. Even after that if two people fight for the same job and say each other is fake then the station can afford to actually lynch a crewmember because security can execute the other the same night. Also literally every security member claims day 1 and uses the same strategy making it extremely boring. I recently started working on another station and I can already notice a much improved quality in stations without the security department. People are actually creative and use new strategies instead of just copying existing ones. But even there if there's security then the station is just as boring again. I think the station would be much better off without this department.
Sending mail is my life. I die for my postal office. It's some real shit. I meet the love of my life here, I mature, it's part of the Sending Mail grindset. 🗣️💯
TFW NO QT3.14 JANIBORG GF THAT HELPS YOU PICK UP TRASH AROUND YOUR HOUSE TO INCINERATE IT WHILE TRACKING SAID GARBAGE WITHIN THE HOUSE AND SCRATCHING OUT THE NAMES AND REMOVING THE STICKY GLUE BETWEEN TWO DIFFERENT PIECES OF GARBAGE CONTAINED TOGETHER OH MY GOD I'M LITERALLY GOING TO FUCKING SPASM OUT AND DIE I NEED ONE!!!
Hello this is the Captain of your neighboring Nanotrasen Space Vessel, I seem to have lost my Golden Captain's Identification Card, if you would be so kind as to mail me one of your spares so I can perform my duties, I would be forever grateful. My address is 122. Space Destroit, HA16LU, thanks again!
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We've been trying to reach you concerning your cargo shuttle's extended warranty. You should've received a notice in the mail about your cargo shuttle's extended warranty eligibility. Since we've not gotten a response, we're giving you a final courtesy call before we close out your file. Respond back 'BLOCK' to be removed and placed on our do-not-mail list. To speak to someone about possibly extending or reinstating your cargo shuttle's warranty, mail back your response ASAP to get in contact with a cargo specialist.
Did you know you have rights? Space Law says you do, and so do I! Hi, I'm Chester McGoodman, I believe that until proven guilty, every assistant, engineer, and captain on this station is innocent. That's why I fight for you, Nanotrasen! Better Letter Chester!
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Hello, you are currently sitting at 4500 credits of unpaid debt. Please contact us as soon as you can to settle this issue. 412-555-5235- Bank of Nanotrasen.
THE GOVERNMENT IS LYING TO YOU THE SUPERMATTER IS CHOKING THEY NEED OXYGEN TO BREATHE GIVE THE SUPERMATTER OXYGEN THEY CAN'T BREATHE HELP THEM!!
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