diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_attackhand.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_attackhand.dm
index 086a1ef0aa..361d47afc0 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_attackhand.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_attackhand.dm
@@ -131,24 +131,26 @@
 				/*
 					This is kind of convoluted, but it seems to break down like this:
 					(note that the chance to miss is exaggerated here since ran_zone() might roll "chest"
-					
+
 					If aiming for chest:
 						80% chance you hit your target
 						17% chance you hit a random zone
 						3% chance you miss
-					
+
 					If aiming for something else:
 						68% chance you hit your target
 						17% chance you hit a random zone
 						15% chance you miss
-					
+
 					Why don't we just use get_zone_with_miss_chance() ???
 				*/
 				if(prob(80))
 					hit_zone = ran_zone(hit_zone)
 				if(prob(15) && hit_zone != "chest") // Missed!
-					attack_message = "[H] attempted to [pick(attack.attack_verb)] [src], but the [attack.attack_noun] missed!"
+					attack_message = "[H] attempted to strike [src], but missed!"
 					miss_type = 1
+			else
+				hit_zone = ran_zone(hit_zone)
 
 			if(!miss_type && block)
 				attack_message = "[H] went for [src]'s [affecting.display_name] but was blocked!"
@@ -160,9 +162,9 @@
 				H.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[attack_message]</span>")
 
 			playsound(loc, ((miss_type) ? (miss_type == 1 ? attack.miss_sound : 'sound/weapons/thudswoosh.ogg') : attack.attack_sound), 25, 1, -1)
-			H.attack_log += text("\[[time_stamp()]\] <font color='red'>[miss_type ? (miss_type == 1 ? "Missed" : "Blocked") : "[pick(attack.attack_verb)]ed"] [src.name] ([src.ckey])</font>")
+			H.attack_log += text("\[[time_stamp()]\] <font color='red'>[miss_type ? (miss_type == 1 ? "Missed" : "Blocked") : "[pick(attack.attack_verb)]"] [src.name] ([src.ckey])</font>")
 			src.attack_log += text("\[[time_stamp()]\] <font color='orange'>[miss_type ? (miss_type == 1 ? "Was missed by" : "Has blocked") : "Has Been [pick(attack.attack_verb)]ed"] by [H.name] ([H.ckey])</font>")
-			msg_admin_attack("[key_name(H)] [miss_type ? (miss_type == 1 ? "has missed" : "was blocked by") : "has [pick(attack.attack_verb)]ed"] [key_name(src)]")
+			msg_admin_attack("[key_name(H)] [miss_type ? (miss_type == 1 ? "has missed" : "was blocked by") : "has [pick(attack.attack_verb)]"] [key_name(src)]")
 
 			if(miss_type)
 				return 0
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/unarmed_attack.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/unarmed_attack.dm
index b96d9b6fdb..b80eb2b1fd 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/unarmed_attack.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/unarmed_attack.dm
@@ -107,6 +107,7 @@
 	var/organ = affecting.display_name
 
 	if(!skill)	skill = 1
+	attack_damage = Clamp(attack_damage, 1, 5)
 
 	if(target == user)
 		user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] [pick(attack_verb)] \himself in the [organ]!</span>")
@@ -125,7 +126,7 @@
 				switch(attack_damage)
 					if(1 to 2)	user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] slapped [target]'s [organ]!</span>")
 					if(3 to 4)	user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] [pick(attack_verb)] [target] in \his [organ]!</span>")
-					if(5)		user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] slams \his [pick(attack_noun)] into [target]'s [organ]!</span>")
+					if(5)		user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] slammed \his [pick(attack_noun)] into [target]'s [organ]!</span>")
 			if("groin", "l_leg", "r_leg")
 				// -- LOWER BODY -- //
 				switch(attack_damage)
@@ -138,7 +139,7 @@
 					if(1 to 4)	user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] kicked [target] in \his [organ]!</span>")
 					if(5)		user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] stomped down hard on [target]'s [organ]!</span>")
 	else if (user.loc != target.loc)
-		user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] [pick("stomped down hard on", "kicked against", "gave a strong kick against", "slams their foot into")] [target]'s [organ]!</span>")
+		user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] [pick("stomped down hard on", "kicked against", "gave a strong kick against", "slammed their foot into")] [target]'s [organ]!</span>")
 	else
 		user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] [pick("punched", "threw a punch", "struck", "slapped", "rammed their [pick(attack_noun)] into")] [target]'s [organ]!</span>")
 
@@ -171,13 +172,13 @@
 	switch(zone)
 		if("head", "mouth", "eyes")
 			// ----- HEAD ----- //
-			switch(damage)
+			switch(attack_damage)
 				if(1 to 2)	user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] scratched [target] across \his cheek!</span>")
 				if(3 to 4) 	user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] [pick(attack_verb)] [target]'s [pick("head", "neck")] [pick("", "", "", "with spread [pick(attack_noun)]")]!</span>")
 				if(5)		user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[pick("[user] [pick(attack_verb)] [target] across \his face!", "[user] rakes \his [pick(attack_noun)] across [target]'s face!")]</span>")
 		if("chest", "l_arm", "r_arm", "l_hand", "r_hand", "groin", "l_leg", "r_leg", "l_foot", "r_foot")
 			// ----- BODY ----- //
-			switch(damage)
+			switch(attack_damage)
 				if(1 to 2)	user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] scratched [target]'s [affecting.display_name]!</span>")
 				if(3 to 4)	user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] [pick(attack_verb)] [pick("", "", "the side of")] [target]'s [affecting.display_name]!</span>")
 				if(5)		user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] tears \his [pick(attack_noun)] deep into [target]'s [affecting.display_name]!</span>")