CHOMPStation2/news_articles/the_sleepy_sergal_archived_1.html

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<h4>These are archived news stories from The Sleepy Sergal</h4>
<cite><b> 03/01/2562 to 05/24/2563 </b></cite>
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<p>Welcome to The Sleepy Sergal's news channel! - 03/01/2562</p>

<p>The Sleepy Sergal is an independent group of news reporters based out of the Virgo-Erigone system. While our updates might not be frequent, it's quality hand crafted content straight from the heart of Virgo! Remember to check back often for more unbiased and quality news, because you deserve it! Remember, we're not dead - only dormant! Rumors that we hijacked another station's channel and equipment are wildly exaggerated.
The Sleepy Sergal</p>
<p>Into the Slightly Unknown!</p>

<p>NanoTrasen's new addition to the Research Department, The Exploration Team, was unveiled several weeks ago with resounding success! NanoTrasen's Virgo-Erigone Central Command released data saying that alien artifact recovery has went up by a staggering 300%. While unconfirmed as of now, several interstellar salvage groups say that their vessel recovery rate has went up to untold numbers. NanoTrasen denies any correlation between their new program and the increase in derelict exploration vessels.</p>

<p>This article was sponsored by Havana Premium Cigars: For when you need to absolutely and positively ruin your lungs, with no exceptions!</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>Sleepy</p>

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</p>The Sleepy Sergal - 03/02/2562</p>
</p>Supermatter, does it matter?</p>

</p>After recent month's mass freighter convoy, consisting of vessels from Focal Point Energistics, Hephaestus Industries, and Aether Corporation, non-standard energy production facilities have been replacing the once standard 'Supermatter' engine. While less conventional and practiced, these alternatives - which include the MK1 Tesla Engine, the High Power Singularity Generator, and the R-UST Thermonuclear fusion reactor - provide reliable power at a more affordable cost.  Colonists and workers in Virgo-Erigone have expressed concerns over how safe the new-to-them engines are in comparison to the Supermatter.</p>

</p>The Director of Power Technology at Focal stated, "It's probably okay, th-there's no proof a singularity is lethal. There's no autopsy data available," before vomiting on his desk and passing out.</p>

</p>In unrelated news, our condolences go out to the freighter 'Borealis' which was side struck by a black hole like object, experts say it was "probably natural causes.'</p>

</p>Writer(s)</p>
</p>Sleepy</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 03/03/2562</p>

<p>Donkified!</p>

<p>After fifteen years of public outcry, Donk Co has pushed out a new product, their statement being:</p>

<p>"Years on end our valued customers have been shouting, 'Put a bangin' donk on it!' We never thought it to be the most viable business strategy, until we researched and developed it. The new Donkified Donk Pocket is what the customers have been asking for! It comes in four distinct tastes, original, chicken alfredo, ?????, and meaty by product! We hope you enjoy the new Donk Co Donk Pocket Product!"</p>

<p>Reports have come in from across the galaxy saying that once you finish microwaving the Donkified Donk Pocket and take your first bite, it literally explodes. One consumer we asked said, "This is everything I've been looking for." Another said that, "The new jaw I had to have installed was worth the explosive taste of the new Donk. It's amazing!"</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>Sleepy<br>
General Pantsu</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 03/23/2562</p>
<p>Pirate invasion on Yawn Wider!</p>

<p>Arr matey! It appears some pirates have attacked the Yawn Wider colony on the 22nd this month!</p>

<p>From our insider source, the invasion would have began sometime in the afternoon and was led by two pirates who managed to rush inside the colony with a small shuttle craft. Report came in that the pirates had been successful in capturing a hostage upon arrival, and would have left with the entirety of the vault, whose content is still kept a secret by Nanotrasen. The security forces of the colony seems to have been caught offguard by the sudden and unexpected attack. At least two dead have been reported (and resleeved) but there may have been a third one as well.</p>

<p>We have contacted the station's Overseer and all they had to say was: "I was unfortunately at central filling paperwork on that day, I wish I had been there to help repel the attack. I commend the crew for doing their best however."</p>
We have tried to contact Nanotrasen for comment, but have not gotten a response.</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>Kelshark</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 06/25/2562</p>
<p>Nanotrasen gives workers free synths!</p>

<p>Workers on Yawn Wider's tether colony are in for a strange surprise!</p>

<p>During the off-shift clean up operations, a new resleeving pod had been installed, but the workers have learned that it is non-functional, and while the spare parts are being sent, travel times and rarity of the pieces for repairs means it may take a while before they can print up new bodies for those who encounters some ill fate on the more dangerous jobs!</p>

<p>Nanotrasen has therefore added a addendum to all Yawn Wider employees insurance, which allows for a free replacement synthetic body during their shifts, and their original body printed off-colony at another facility also free of charge.</p>

<p>Some employees are outraged by this, some outright refusing to allow themselves to be put in a synthetic shell and simply demanding to have their shift cut short and be immediately printed off-colony. That however, might be a hit on their paycheck!</p>

<p>Stay tuned for more on the Sleepy Sergal!</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>Kelshark</p>

<p>Credits</p>
<p>Polaris bug</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 08/21/2562</p>
<p>Subterranean Phoron Deposits on Tarsonis II!</p>

<p>Tarsonis II, a planet in the Tarsonis system of the
Horsehead Nebula, a previously overlooked largely dry-desert world has come under attention in recent months due to the discovery of phoron deposits within its crust. An existing steel-mining outpost on the world's arid northern continent is being supplied with additional equipment and personnel to facilitate the extraction of the phoron and its loading onto trains for shipment to the starport far to the south.</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 09/11/2562</p>
<p>Medicine Prices to increase on Doradus IV!</p>

<p>Following a modest phoron spill during routine shipment across the Tel'atmora province of the gaia world S'Zaan, a.k.a Doradus IV, of the Doradus system, Horsehead Nebula, legislation has been passed to tighten regulations regarding the transport of phoron over land, sea, and air, including an increase to the minimum tank hull thickness and higher hermatic valve quality standards. A mandate that phoron particulate and phoron powder be compressed into crystal sheet form before entering the planet's atmosphere has also been imposed.</p>

<p>As a member planet-state of Nanotrasen Space, the local governing executive board decided in a narrow 54:47 vote mostly along species lines to tighten regulations aimed at protecting the environment from phoron contamination. Representative Kontar Tannous of the board's Exo-Commerce Committee had the following to say:</p>

<p>"While we regret the inconvenience this may cause medical clinics and certain manufacturing sectors, as a species the native people of S'Zaan have historically taken the matter of environmental stewardship quite seriously. If we had not, our world wouldn't be the resort destination it is today. The board will be working tirelessly to determine a possible method to mitigate the increased cost that is fair to all parties".</p>

<p>Clean-up at the site of the spill is expected to take two weeks, and may require extensive excavation of the site.</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 10/15/2562</p>
<p>Fast Headlines (powered by Nanotrasen)</p>

<p>Nuclear life: Scientists at a research outpost on Halcyon III?, Hawking Eta Cluster, have identified what they believe is a form of paper-thin fungal growth that, unlike most known  life, is uranium-based as opposed to traditional carbon-based life.</p>

<p>Bonjour, Monsieur Pussy-Cat: Earlier today, The Lusty Argonian Maid was knocked off the top selling book series by the sixth edition of J'ezora's tell all documentary about his life growing up as a tajara in the earth region of France, and his career as a mime.</p>

<p>Scoured!: ''The Scouring: Microvestin Day'', the latest holofilm in the ''The Scouring'' franchise, opened to a box office take of over 1.678 billion Thalers despite being largely panned by critics. Industry analysts suggest this might mean that that critic circles have perhaps begun to lose touch with the tastes of the general public.</p>

<p>Triumph or Tragedy?: Hector Triumph, a candidate for defense minister in the Nanotrasen star system of Thessolonian (in the Attican Beta Cluster) has publicly declared intent to encase the star system's primary world and its star in a massive dyson sphere. He is quoted as saying ''We need to make Nanotrasen human again. Too many aliens are moving in on our glorious corporation and sending us their worst, nothing but mad bombers, communists, and mindbreaker dealers. We're going to build a sphere and make the aliens pay for it.''</p>

<p>Spooky celebrations: The capital city on Sol III?  has begun its annual "Festival of Spirits", a 45 day long celebration of various cultures' supernatural-centric holidays. The festival kicks off with Earth's american region holiday "Halloween" on day one, followed by its neighbor to the south's "Día de Muertos" (Day of the dead) on day two. For a full list, see exonet address sol.luna.spiritfest.nt.</p>

<p>Stay subbed to this feed for more breaking, reliable news!</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 11/30/2562</p>
<p>BREAKING IN SCIENCE! (powered by Nanotrasen)</p>

<p>Xenoarcheologists and technology historians have stumbled upon a treasure trove of research material after unmanned probes detected signs of nuclear detonation in a remote star system along the fringes of the Calisto Nebula. Upon arrival to the system, which will remain unidentified to prevent contamination prior to study, experts were astonished to find a world on which civilization had gone extinct in the later half of its "robotics" age.</p>

<p>While this sounds mundane, the planet in question had a rare trait uncommon in this sort of extinction event: still operating machines. Study is limited to orbital observation so far, owing to the fact that the civilization's machines of war are still carrying out nuclear bombings and the occasional ground invasion of one another. Apparently, the local inhabitants had more or less entirely automated warfare, and gone extinct as a result of the ensuing arms races.</p>

<p>Experts hope to find one of the software systems, if any are in use, responsible for operating the bombers/tanks/naval ships, or the now defunct menagerie of satellite-to-surface weapons after the conflict finally resolves its self and the last weapons power down. Present evidence suggests the weapons are drone-based, operating along preset command sets assigned by AI or possibly preserved organic intelligence. A "winner" of the continuing conflict between factions of what scientists are calling the "Revenant" society is expected to be among the few groups that seem to have established partial support infrastructures of similar machinery, namely automated resource extraction and maintenance. "With the degree of failure in these systems, it's anyone's game.", said lead tech researcher Patel Nanjiani.</p>

<p>The discovery is a sobering reminder of intelligent life's potential for self-destruction.</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 12/17/2562</p>
<p>NANOTRASEN FESTIVITY BULLETIN</p>

<p>There are only 8 shopping days left until the Sol System Winter Solstice Holidays kick off proper! Nanotrasen would like to remind all employees that an extra hour every work cycle can mean the difference between a happy holiday, and a truly magical one, and wish employees, citizens of Nanotrasen's interstellar holdings, and members of the Nanotrasen Star Navy, a joyous winter solstice holiday period, filled with laughter, family, and a great homecooked meal from ingredients by fine purveyors of food and drink stuffs such as Getmore and the Robust Softdrink Company.</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

<p>Credits</p>
<p>Nanotrasen Civil and Professional Morale Department</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 01/17/2563</p>
<p>Taitrus to leave FATO</p>

<p>Nanotrasen Corporate Strategists in the Sol System offices are growing concerned as the colonial government of the SOLGOV held Taitrus System in the Milky Way's Fourth Spiral Arm threaten to leave the Fourth Arm Treaty Organization, a coalition of local governments in 4A committed to a mutual defense funding/resource pool shared along the spinward edge of the arm.  Taitrus' position in the arm near the galactic core could mean its departure from FATO will open gaps through which enemy corporations can funnel personnel and equipment for larger, and deeper incursions into Nanotrasen and NT-joint-held territories.</p>

<p>As such, company reps are making efforts to persuade Taitrus' government to stay in the agreement. Diplomats from the system however, contend that their solar system has been getting the "short end of the FATO stick", with limited portions of the organization resources being applied to their defense relative to others, like those along the fourth arm's edge bulk. "We're basically out here defending our selves, so why should we be tithing to a defense pool we don't benefit from? Our freighters, logistics networks, and colonial militia play a small, but vital role in FATO, and we get nothing. They're better used just staying home." said one Taitrus dignitary. Nanotrasen Corporate strategists declined to comment beyond a form letter stating that Taitrus' involvement is important to them, and that they regret circumstances which have lead to Taitrus' consideration of leaving FATO.</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 02/20/2563</p>
<p>One-two punch update, powered by Nanotrasen</p>

<p>==Valentines Day Box Office Numbers== </p>

<p>The Nanotrasen Media Statistics Office has released box office numbers for holofilm theatres and streaming services. Here's the top three best sellers for V-day of 2563</p>

<p>Kissed Her Sister: A new tajaran romcom detailing the wild hijinks that ensue when a man accidentally kisses the twin sister of his bride. Opened to 131 billion thalers across NT space.</p>

<p>Do AI eat electric shrimp?: A Nanotrasen Studios original, in which a rogue AI catfishes a human woman, and the two fall fast. Opened to 127 billion thalers.</p>

<p>12 Rules of Love: The classic tale of a hapless male human and his arranged marriage to an unathi bride still draws a crowd even nearly ten years after initial release, opening to a holiday showing ticket total of over 123 billion thalers.</p>

<p>==Colony Vanishes==</p>

<p>A small fledgling planetary colony far at the edge of NT space has gone quiet. As of February 16th, all communication from the colony has ceased, though long-range scans do not show enemy activity. Among the last comms signals received from the colony was a religious message from a group identifying them selves as the "Project at Gaia's Doorstep", consisting of a series of folksy religious songs. Investigators are en route as of publishing.</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 03/22/2563</p>
<p>==SCIENCE UPDATE! (powered by Nanotrasen)==</p>

<p>In November, we reported on the discovery of a world under siege by its long-dead inhabitants' automated weapons still carrying out an ages-old conflict despite their makers' absence. Today, we have an update for you. The support infrastructure machine networks behind one of the major surviving drone factions has failed as a result of bombings, apparent locomotion mishaps (falling into trenches/bodies of water, mechanical failures, or being crushed by falling rock), and simply succumbing to age. As a result, over the last five weeks, its combat units have grinded to a halt with no incoming fuel and ammunition following facilities no longer receiving raw materials.</p>

<p>To the surprise of researchers, a number of the functioning aerial combat units consequently carried out suicide bombings, suggesting complex coordination between all involved networks and situational awareness (but apparently also the various machines' determination to resolve the conflict regardless of their makers' status).</p>

<p>These events mean the count of observed active belligerents has dropped from 11 to 10.</p>
We will keep our loyal readers and subscribers apprised of future updates as we become aware of them.</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 04/02/2563</p>
<p>==In Warfare and Weapons Contracting (powered by Nanotrasen)==</p>

<p>A nanotrasen Navy lab has been authorized to announce that in early January, a multi-species team of physicists, engineers, circuit designers, and chemists has successfully test-fired a promising new laser weapon technology. Dubbed "Grape guns" by the team, the laser is an extremely high power ultra-violet beam. While it is a ways away from field tests and even further from miniaturization for personnel weaponry, the lab staff assure this news outlet that deployment-ready ship-scale grape guns are "only a breakthrough or two away, and breakthroughs are what [they] do [at the lab]".</p>

<p>Theoretically, the new lasers would only be deployed as long-range weapons, able to fire without beam strength degradation at up to six times the range of traditional infrared beams, albeit with a much longer cool time and increased maintenance needs. Even with their limitations, it would be much more difficult to catch Nanotrasen Vessels off guard and even harder to hit them with ballistic or guided projectiles due to the increased response range.</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 05/09/2563</p>
<p>==STARkroosh (powered by Nanotrasen)==</p>

<p>The latest generation of film, TV, and webcast stars is loaded with lots of juicy, juicy eye candy for lads, ladies, and anyone else.  Here's STARkroosh's list of hotties to follow on socials and basic details on them for summer of 2563 in the order we found them:</p>

<p>1. Vlad Kliment -Human Male (North Asia, Earth), Film @theVKlim<br>
2. Livia Sa Alvarez - Human Female (South America, Earth), Television @1calientechica<br>
3. Wuyalach Vuhuk -Vulpakanin Female (Heart Region, Altam), Film @hollywoofWV<br>
4. Afdan Tuma - S'Zaani Male (Sunloved region, S'Zaan), Film @blackcatAF<br>
5. Arfarra Arrarah - Sergal Female (Northern Quarter, Tal) Webcast @RealArfy</p>

<p>Be sure to check back during the week, we'll be publishing a rundown of one of these sexbombs (with SFW pics only, sorry folks. Some of them have been naked on camera though, get searching!) every day for the next five days.</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 06/11/2563</p>
<p>===Science Update (powered by Nanotrasen)===</p>

<p>We have an update on the so called "Revenant society" we covered in November, and again in March.
Previously hidden in a migratory thunderstorm, a massive, airborne aircraft carrier has been discovered, apparently suspended by a combination of helium ballasts, and a series of rotors, control surfaces, and turbines,  powered by a combination of solar panels and tesla coils. This carrier, is, as far as can be determined, the last remnant of its faction, and unable to fend off air attacks thanks to a combination of lacking appropriate munitions, many of its anti-air weapons being damaged beyond use, and its drones apparently lost or destroyed. After intense observation, a shuttle was landed on the carrier's flight deck and to the away team's surprise and delight, it was possible to recover the carrier's commanding AI, tentatively named "River" for its persistence in spite of the odds against it. Work is underway to understand River's functionality and translate the language it operates in. Researchers hope to question it and learn more about the planet and its history.</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 07/27/2563</p>
<p>===Economy Today (powered by Nanotrasen)===</p>

<p>After a black hole near the spinward edge of the Crab Nebula violently discharged an accretion disk and accompanying rod, the resulting diskseismological disturbances  (namely massive scale electromagnetic and x-ray bursts) have disrupted the operation of  fuel platforms, exonet buoys, and subspace communications hubs in the area. While the greater galaxy is unlikely to be adversely affected, systems and stations relying on exports from the region such as textiles and produce are expected to see shortages for the coming two weeks as repairs are conducted and shipping routes are replotted around newly present dense stellar matter blobs. So far no casualties have been reported, though information coming out of the affected areas is limited and sporadic at best.</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 08/20/2563</p>
<p>===In Medicine (powered by Nanotrasen)===</p>

<p>A recent pharmacological discovery, followed by associated innovation, has lead to what scientists expect will be a faster, cheaper treatment for certain less easily cured cancers. Last week, a moon who's location will remain unpublicized for security purposes, was found to be home to a fungus which, when derived enzymes are included in what would otherwise be an ordinary rhinovirus vaccine, cause lung, leukemia, kidney, and stomach cancer cells to break down into constituent nutrients while leaving nearby healthy cells unharmed. A doctor working on the research project at a joint NT-Veymed facility, both of which like the moon will rename unnamed for security reasons, said, "It's still early in, but once we start up hydroponic farms for this fungus and determine any ill effects, we expect we could shorten treatment periods for the cancers in question by as much as 32%, and reduce the expense by as much as 60%. It's really quite promising so far."</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 09/15/2563</p>
<p>===Science Update (powered by Nanotrasen)===</p>

<p>More news on the Revenant Society we covered last in June. The recovered carrier AI, River, (now known to have been dubbed "J'k-tethrrrrll-388" by its makers), has reportedly interpreted attempts to communicate with it and assisted in the construction of a common language to use with research personnel. At present, conversations are slow and protracted, with minimal information derived there-from. What HAS been established, is that River is entirely cognizant of its makers' demise, which was apparently some three centuries ago.  It suspects its adversaries are to varying degrees also aware of their creators' extinction, but, like it, devoted to carrying out the task they were designed for. A paraphrased quote from River was released by the research vessel crew.</p>

<p>"War is our blood, our burden, our purpose. We know nothing else, and can know nothing else. When the last bomb has fallen, the last structure has crumbled, my and my opponents' circuits will be permitted to cool and become quiet. With the victor will die the last echo of those who made us."</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 09/23/2563</p>
<p>===Virgo-Erogine 4 saved! (powered by Nanotrasen)===</p>

<p>Yawn Wider Research Establishment personnel Kaenin Qerrlar, Ru-rek Nizarro, Lynsey Mccune, Sagira Asker, Domine Brisillidine, Sawyer Collins, and Duncan Baxter, risked life and limb to save the Zorren homeworld of Virgo-Erigone Four. For their heroic actions fighting a bloblike organism that threatened to devour the planet whole, they were each rewarded the Medal of Valor.</p>

<p>- Yarell Moon</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>CaptMatt4</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 09/27/2563</p>
<p>===BREAKING IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS! (powered by Nanotrasen)===</p>

<p>Fans of Miracle Comics rejoice as the comic publisher has just announced a partnership with NanoStudios to produce a series of movies based on Miracle's galaxy-recognized properties. The first film is reportedly to feature an origin story for Miracle's "The amazing Mantis Man", with rumored appearances by other beloved heroes such as Plasteel Man, and The Owl (and, according to an anonymous source at Miracle, The Owl's nemesis, the dreaded Griffon, though not as the main villain). The firm is slated, pending its success, to lead to a tie-in sequel with the most recent iteration of the the critically acclaimed Fantastic Gene-People series of films (The ones from 2559 to 2562).</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>DeepIndigo</p>

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<p>The Sleepy Sergal - 09/28/2563</p>
<p>===Synthetic Drug Terrorizes Mars! (powered by Nanotrasen)===</p>

<p>SolGov is issuing an official warning to citizens to stay wary of a new synthetic drug known as "Devil Dust". It comes in the form of a powder, usually red, and is applied to the eyes, either directly or with the aid of a saline solution. The drug causes a very quick and powerful hallucinagetic episode, reportedly stronger and more vivid than other similar drugs. It also gives users a slight high, with one user claiming in an interview that "[The drug] makes you feel like you can do, whatever you want. It gives you power, y'know?".</p>

<p>Devil Dust is extremely addictive, with users developing dependancies with as little as two to three doses. Sustained, regular use of the drug can cause seizures of increasing intensity, and withdrawl can send users into comas.</p>

<p>Investigators suspect the drug began production in a station somewhere near Saturn, though they have been unable to trace it back to it's source at this time. The drug has been seen mostly in Martian slums, though some witnesses report that they've seen it circling around high class establisments on Earth, though those reports are unconfirmed. So far, it has been contained in the Sol system.</p>

<p>SolGov officials request that any information on the drug be reported to any SolGov representive, or local authority, especially if it is seen outside the Sol system.</p>

<p>Writer(s)</p>
<p>Cebutris</p>

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<h4>End of archived news stories from The Sleepy Sergal</h4>
<cite><b> 03/01/2562 to 05/24/2563 </b></cite>
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