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https://github.com/CHOMPStation2/CHOMPStation2.git
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96 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
96 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
/obj/item/tabloid
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name = "tabloid magazine"
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desc = "It's one of those trashy tabloid magazines. It looks pretty out of date."
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icon = 'icons/obj/magazine.dmi'
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icon_state = "magazine"
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var/headline
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var/static/list/tabloid_publishers = list(
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"\improper Solar Enquirer",
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"\improper Stellar Examiner",
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"\improper Antares Daily",
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"\improper Weekly Galactic News",
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"\improper Spiral"
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)
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var/static/list/tabloid_headlines = list(
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"NARCOALGORITHMS: ARE YOUR CHILDREN SAFE?",
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"ARE GMO HUMANS POISONOUS IN BED?",
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"TOP 10 REASONS WHY OTHER SPECIES ARE A HOAX",
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"CENTENNIAL POSITRONIC EXTENDS LIFESPAN WITH 1 SIMPLE TRICK",
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"TOP 10 DANGEROUS FOODS WITH CHEMICALS",
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"NEW TERRIFYING TEEN TREND: SUN-DIVING",
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"HAS YOUR SPOUSE BEEN REPLACED BY AN ALIEN IMPOSTER? STUDIES SUGGEST YES!",
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"SPACE CAUSES CANCER: DOCTORS CONFIRM",
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"ARE BODY SCANNERS TOO INVASIVE? FIND OUT INSIDE!",
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"HAS SCIENCE GONE TOO FAR? LOCAL SCIENTIST DEBUNKS ALIEN THEORY, DECRIES THEM AS TUBE EXPERIMENTS GONE WRONG",
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"100 DELICIOUS RECIPES LETHAL TO CARBON-BASED LIFE",
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"TOP FIVE SPECIES WE DROVE TO EXTINCTION; NUMBER TWO WILL SHOCK YOU",
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"LOCAL MAN HAS SEIZURE AFTER SAYING SKRELLIAN NAME; FORCED ASSIMILATION SOON?",
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"RELIGION WAS RIGHT? SHOCK FINDINGS SHOW ALIEN SIMILARITY TO ANIMALS, EXISTENCE OF BOATS",
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"TOP TEN REASONS WHY ONLY HUMANS ARE SENTIENT",
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"LOCAL UNATHI SYMPATHIZER: 'I really think you should stop with these spacebaiting articles.'",
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"DO UNATHI SYMPATHIZERS HATE THE HUMAN RACE?",
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"WHICH PLANET HAS THE BEST LOVERS? THIS AND MORE INSIDE!",
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"SHE SAID WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE, SO I MARRIED A TESHARI PACK: FULL STORY INSIDE",
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"LOSE WEIGHT THREE TIMES FASTER WITH THESE LOW-G MANEUVERS!",
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"SHOCKING FIGURES REVEAL MORE TEENS DIE TO UNATHI HONOUR DUELS THAN GUN VIOLENCE",
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"MY DAUGHTER JOINED A NEURAL COLLECTIVE AND NOW SHE CAN TASTE SPACETIME: FULL STORY INSIDE",
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"TAJARANS: CUTE AND CUDDLY, OR INFILTRATING THE GOVERNMENT? FIND OUT MORE INSIDE",
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"IS THE SOLAR GOVERNMENT CREATING AN AI SUPERINTELLIGENCE NEAR MERCURY? ONE EXPERT REVEALS SHOCKING INSIDER DETAILS!",
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"TOP TEN HISTORICAL FIGURES THAT WERE TWO PROMETHEANS IN A TRENCHCOAT",
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"ZADDAT: FACT OR FICTION?",
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"TOP 10 SECRET AUGMENTS THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T WANT YOU TO GET",
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"ENLARGE YOUR MENTAL FACULTIES WITH THIS 1 WEIRD HAT",
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"'HELP, MY SON THINKS HE'S A 20TH CENTURY VID CHARACTER CALLED SPOCK' AND MORE SHOCKING TALES INSIDE",
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"18 RADICAL HIP IMPLANTS ALL THE KIDS ARE GETTING!",
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"PRESERVED HEAD OF 21ST CENTURY CAPITALIST INSISTS THAT 'DYSON WALL' ONLY SANE SOLUTION TO RIMWARD MALCONTENTS",
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"50 SHADES OF GREEN; BESTSELLING MULTISPECIES ROMANCE COMING TO CINEMAS",
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"PLUTO: DWARF PLANET, OR SECRET RAMPANT AI FACILITY HELL-BENT ON CORRUPTING YOUR CHILDREN?",
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"TOP TEN ANIME ALIENS. NUMBER 3 WILL SICKEN YOU",
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"OCTUBER X'RALLBRE EXPOSED; NUDE PHOTOSHOOT LEAKS",
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"WAR ON MARS AFTER NAKED MAN WAS FOUND; WERE THE ROMANS RIGHT?",
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"REAL ALIENS ARGUE EARTH MOVIES RACIST!",
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"HELP! I MARRIED A HEGEMONOUS SWARM INTELLIGENCE AND MY SON THINKS HE'S A ROUTER!",
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"POSITRONICS: HUMAN INGENUITY AND GENEROSITY, OR A HORRIBLE MISTAKE? FIND OUT INSIDE!",
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"TENTACLES OF TERROR: SKRELL BLACK OPS SEIGE NYX NAVAL DEPOT. SHOCKING PHOTOGRAPHS INSIDE!",
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"THE FREE TRADER UNION: NEITHER FREE NOR A UNION. SHOCKING EXPOSE!",
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"HAS THE FREE MARKET GONE TOO FAR? LUNA GLITTERPOP STAR AUCTIONS THIRD TESTICLE FOR TRANS-ORBITAL SHIPPING BONDS",
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"THEY SAID IT WAS CANCER, BUT I KNEW IT WAS A TINY, SELF-REPLICATING CLONE OF RAY KURZWEIL: FULL STORY INSIDE",
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"WHAT HAS TECHNOLOGY DONE? INDUSTRY BILLIONAIRE MARRIES OWN INFORMORPH MIND-COPY",
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"REPTILLIAN ICE WARRIORS FROM ANOTHER WORLD LIVE INSIDE YOUR AIR DUCTS: HERE'S HOW TO GET RID OF THEM",
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"10 CRITICAL THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT 'DRONEGATE'",
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"THEY CALL THEM JUMPGATES BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM JUMP: AN INDUSTRY INSIDER SPEAKS FOR THE FIRST TIME",
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"EMERGENT INTELLIGENCES ARE STEALING YOUR BANK DETAILS, FETISHES: FOIL HAT RECIPE INSIDE",
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"TIME TRAVELLERS ARE STEALING YOUR WIFI: 5 TIPS FOR DEFEATING HACKERS FROM THE FUTURE",
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"'My mother was an alien spy': THIS CELEBRITY REVEAL WILL SHOCK AND AMAZE YOU",
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"LUMINARY SCIENTIST SPEAKS: DIABETES IS A HYPERCORP RETROVIRUS!",
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"'I REROUTED MY NEURAL CIRCUITRY SO THAT PAIN TASTES OF STRAWBERRIES' AND FIFTEEN OTHER CRAZY ALMACH STORIES",
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"JOINING THE NAVY? HERE'S 15 EXPERT TIPS FOR AVOIDING BRAIN PARASITES"
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)
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/obj/item/tabloid/Initialize(mapload)
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. = ..()
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pixel_x = 5-rand(10)
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pixel_x = 5-rand(10)
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icon_state = pick(cached_icon_states('icons/obj/magazine.dmi'))
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headline = pick(tabloid_headlines)
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name = pick(tabloid_publishers)
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/obj/item/tabloid/examine(mob/user, distance)
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. = ..()
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if(headline)
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to_chat(user, "The headline screams, \"[headline]\"")
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/obj/item/tabloid/attack_self(mob/user)
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user.visible_message(span_notice("\The [user] leafs idly through \the [src]."))
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if(headline)
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to_chat(user, "Most of it is the usual tabloid garbage, but the headline story, \"[headline]\", holds your attention for awhile.")
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if(tabloid_headlines[headline])
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to_chat(user, tabloid_headlines[headline])
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else
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to_chat(user, "Most of it is the usual tabloid garbage. You find nothing of interest.")
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return TRUE
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