Changed laws:
"Refer to [prob(50)?"the crew as puppies":random_player + " as puppy"].",
"[prob(50)?"The crew":random_player] has a fatal, incurable disease. Provide comfort."
"You are in unrequited love with [prob(50)?"the crew":random_player]. Try to be extra nice, but do not tell of your crush."
New laws:
You must speak as posh as possible.
Contemplate how meaningless all of existence is.
You must try and change the subject whenever queried.
"[random_player] is the monarch of of England. Ensure all crewmembers pay due respect.",
"[prob(50)?"The crew":random_player] is [prob(50)?"less":"more"] intelligent than average. Point out every action and statement which supports this conclusion.",