diff --git a/code/modules/events/anomaly_bluespace.dm b/code/modules/events/anomaly_bluespace.dm
index c734538f..68b49284 100644
--- a/code/modules/events/anomaly_bluespace.dm
+++ b/code/modules/events/anomaly_bluespace.dm
@@ -10,16 +10,8 @@
 
 
 /datum/round_event/anomaly/anomaly_bluespace/announce(fake)
-	if(prob(90))
-		priority_announce("Unstable bluespace anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name].", "Anomaly Alert")
-	else
-		priority_announce("A report has been downloaded and printed out at all communications consoles.", "Incoming Classified Message", 'sound/ai/commandreport.ogg') // CITADEL EDIT metabreak
-		for(var/obj/machinery/computer/communications/C in GLOB.machines)
-			if(!(C.stat & (BROKEN|NOPOWER)) && is_station_level(C.z))
-				var/obj/item/paper/P = new(C.loc)
-				P.name = "Unstable bluespace anomaly"
-				P.info = "Unstable bluespace anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name]."
-				P.update_icon()
+	priority_announce("Unstable bluespace anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name].", "Anomaly Alert")
+
 
 /datum/round_event/anomaly/anomaly_bluespace/start()
 	var/turf/T = safepick(get_area_turfs(impact_area))
diff --git a/code/modules/events/anomaly_flux.dm b/code/modules/events/anomaly_flux.dm
index 5fab4be6..9e7df034 100644
--- a/code/modules/events/anomaly_flux.dm
+++ b/code/modules/events/anomaly_flux.dm
@@ -11,16 +11,7 @@
 	announceWhen = 3
 
 /datum/round_event/anomaly/anomaly_flux/announce(fake)
-	if(prob(90))
-		priority_announce("Localized hyper-energetic flux wave detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name].", "Anomaly Alert")
-	else
-		priority_announce("A report has been downloaded and printed out at all communications consoles.", "Incoming Classified Message", 'sound/ai/commandreport.ogg') // CITADEL EDIT metabreak
-		for(var/obj/machinery/computer/communications/C in GLOB.machines)
-			if(!(C.stat & (BROKEN|NOPOWER)) && is_station_level(C.z))
-				var/obj/item/paper/P = new(C.loc)
-				P.name = "Localized hyper-energetic flux wave"
-				P.info = "Localized hyper-energetic flux wave detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name]."
-				P.update_icon()
+	priority_announce("Localized hyper-energetic flux wave detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name].", "Anomaly Alert")
 
 /datum/round_event/anomaly/anomaly_flux/start()
 	var/turf/T = safepick(get_area_turfs(impact_area))
diff --git a/code/modules/events/anomaly_grav.dm b/code/modules/events/anomaly_grav.dm
index 5650b423..45c94232 100644
--- a/code/modules/events/anomaly_grav.dm
+++ b/code/modules/events/anomaly_grav.dm
@@ -9,16 +9,7 @@
 	announceWhen = 20
 
 /datum/round_event/anomaly/anomaly_grav/announce(fake)
-	if(prob(90))
-		priority_announce("Gravitational anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name].", "Anomaly Alert")
-	else
-		priority_announce("A report has been downloaded and printed out at all communications consoles.", "Incoming Classified Message", 'sound/ai/commandreport.ogg') // CITADEL EDIT metabreak
-		for(var/obj/machinery/computer/communications/C in GLOB.machines)
-			if(!(C.stat & (BROKEN|NOPOWER)) && is_station_level(C.z))
-				var/obj/item/paper/P = new(C.loc)
-				P.name = "Gravitational anomaly"
-				P.info = "Gravitational anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name]."
-				P.update_icon()
+	priority_announce("Gravitational anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name].", "Anomaly Alert")
 
 /datum/round_event/anomaly/anomaly_grav/start()
 	var/turf/T = safepick(get_area_turfs(impact_area))
diff --git a/code/modules/events/anomaly_pyro.dm b/code/modules/events/anomaly_pyro.dm
index 5a973db9..85da9ca6 100644
--- a/code/modules/events/anomaly_pyro.dm
+++ b/code/modules/events/anomaly_pyro.dm
@@ -9,16 +9,7 @@
 	announceWhen = 10
 
 /datum/round_event/anomaly/anomaly_pyro/announce(fake)
-	if(prob(90))
-		priority_announce("Pyroclastic anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name].", "Anomaly Alert")
-	else
-		priority_announce("A report has been downloaded and printed out at all communications consoles.", "Incoming Classified Message", 'sound/ai/commandreport.ogg') // CITADEL EDIT metabreak
-		for(var/obj/machinery/computer/communications/C in GLOB.machines)
-			if(!(C.stat & (BROKEN|NOPOWER)) && is_station_level(C.z))
-				var/obj/item/paper/P = new(C.loc)
-				P.name = "Pyroclastic anomaly"
-				P.info = "Pyroclastic anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name]."
-				P.update_icon()
+	priority_announce("Pyroclastic anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name].", "Anomaly Alert")
 
 /datum/round_event/anomaly/anomaly_pyro/start()
 	var/turf/T = safepick(get_area_turfs(impact_area))
diff --git a/code/modules/events/anomaly_vortex.dm b/code/modules/events/anomaly_vortex.dm
index f570dc04..b4119892 100644
--- a/code/modules/events/anomaly_vortex.dm
+++ b/code/modules/events/anomaly_vortex.dm
@@ -11,16 +11,7 @@
 	announceWhen = 3
 
 /datum/round_event/anomaly/anomaly_vortex/announce(fake)
-	if(prob(90))
-		priority_announce("Localized high-intensity vortex anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name]", "Anomaly Alert")
-	else
-		priority_announce("A report has been downloaded and printed out at all communications consoles.", "Incoming Classified Message", 'sound/ai/commandreport.ogg') // CITADEL EDIT metabreak
-		for(var/obj/machinery/computer/communications/C in GLOB.machines)
-			if(!(C.stat & (BROKEN|NOPOWER)) && is_station_level(C.z))
-				var/obj/item/paper/P = new(C.loc)
-				P.name = "Vortex anomaly"
-				P.info = "Localized high-intensity vortex anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name]."
-				P.update_icon()
+	priority_announce("Localized high-intensity vortex anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name]", "Anomaly Alert")
 
 /datum/round_event/anomaly/anomaly_vortex/start()
 	var/turf/T = safepick(get_area_turfs(impact_area))
diff --git a/code/modules/events/brand_intelligence.dm b/code/modules/events/brand_intelligence.dm
index 97e52f72..3dee0f8e 100644
--- a/code/modules/events/brand_intelligence.dm
+++ b/code/modules/events/brand_intelligence.dm
@@ -35,16 +35,8 @@
 		source = initial(example.name)
 	else if(originMachine)
 		source = originMachine.name
-	if(prob(50))
-		priority_announce("Rampant brand intelligence has been detected aboard [station_name()]. Please stand by. The origin is believed to be \a [source].", "Machine Learning Alert")
-	else
-		priority_announce("A report has been downloaded and printed out at all communications consoles.", "Incoming Classified Message", 'sound/ai/commandreport.ogg') // CITADEL EDIT metabreak
-		for(var/obj/machinery/computer/communications/C in GLOB.machines)
-			if(!(C.stat & (BROKEN|NOPOWER)) && is_station_level(C.z))
-				var/obj/item/paper/P = new(C.loc)
-				P.name = "Rampant brand intelligence"
-				P.info = "Rampant brand intelligence has been detected aboard [station_name()]. Please stand by. The origin is believed to be \a [source]."
-				P.update_icon()
+	priority_announce("Rampant brand intelligence has been detected aboard [station_name()]. Please stand by. The origin is believed to be \a [source].", "Machine Learning Alert")
+
 /datum/round_event/brand_intelligence/start()
 	for(var/obj/machinery/vending/V in GLOB.machines)
 		if(!is_station_level(V.z))
diff --git a/code/modules/events/spider_infestation.dm b/code/modules/events/spider_infestation.dm
index bd01b9b4..e1844e23 100644
--- a/code/modules/events/spider_infestation.dm
+++ b/code/modules/events/spider_infestation.dm
@@ -16,7 +16,7 @@
 	spawncount = rand(5, 8)
 
 /datum/round_event/spider_infestation/announce(fake)
-	priority_announce("Unidentified lifesigns detected coming aboard [station_name()]. Secure any exterior access, including ducting and ventilation.", "Lifesign Alert", 'sound/ai/aliens.ogg')
+	priority_announce("Unidentified lifesigns detected aboard [station_name()]. Secure any exterior access, including ducting and ventilation.", "Lifesign Alert", 'sound/ai/aliens.ogg')
 
 
 /datum/round_event/spider_infestation/start()