diff --git a/hyperstation/sound/misc/slam.ogg b/hyperstation/sound/misc/slam.ogg
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..de1dc83d
Binary files /dev/null and b/hyperstation/sound/misc/slam.ogg differ
diff --git a/modular_citadel/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/fermi_reagents.dm b/modular_citadel/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/fermi_reagents.dm
index cf9b20ae..ee7d7c16 100644
--- a/modular_citadel/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/fermi_reagents.dm
+++ b/modular_citadel/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/fermi_reagents.dm
@@ -400,4 +400,63 @@
 		H.say("*wag")//force update sprites.
 	to_chat(H, "<span class='notice'>[words]</span>")
 	qdel(catto)
-	log_game("FERMICHEM: [H] ckey: [H.key] has returned to normal")
\ No newline at end of file
+	log_game("FERMICHEM: [H] ckey: [H.key] has returned to normal")
+
+
+//Tablesmitium
+
+/datum/reagent/fermi/tablesmitium
+	name = "Tablesmitium"
+	description = "Why is this a thing? Why did CentCom even commission such a thing?"
+	color = "#7bbcd6"
+	overdose_threshold = 30
+	impure_chem 			= /datum/reagent/toxin/acid //AAAA
+	inverse_chem_val 		= 0.25
+	inverse_chem		= /datum/reagent/toxin/acid //OW. ACID.
+	taste_description = "what can only be described as licking every single table in the galaxy at the same time. Curious."
+	pH = 9
+	value = 90
+	can_synth = FALSE
+
+/datum/reagent/fermi/tablesmitium/on_mob_life(mob/living/carbon/C)
+	var/list/areas = list()
+	for(var/area/A in world)
+		if(A.z == SSmapping.station_start)
+			areas += A
+	var/area/B = pick(areas)
+	var/list/obj/structure/table/tables = list()
+	for(var/obj/structure/table/T in B)
+		tables += T
+	if(tables.len)
+		var/obj/structure/table/S = pick(tables)
+		do_sparks(5,FALSE,C)
+		S.tablepush(C, C)
+		do_sparks(5,FALSE,C)
+		playsound(C.loc, 'sound/effects/phasein.ogg', 50, 1)
+		playsound(C.loc, 'hyperstation/sound/misc/slam.ogg', 50, 1)
+	..()
+
+/datum/reagent/fermi/tablesmitium/overdose_start(mob/living/M)
+	. = ..()
+	to_chat(M, "<span class='userdanger'>You have stared into the abyss of tables... And it gazed back.</span>")
+	log_game("FERMICHEM: [M] ckey: [M.key] has overdosed on tablesmitium")
+	M.Jitter(20)
+	metabolization_rate += 0.5 //So you're not stuck forever tabling.
+
+/datum/reagent/fermi/tablesmitium/overdose_process(mob/living/carbon/C)
+	var/list/obj/structure/table/tables = list()
+	for(var/obj/structure/table/T in view_or_range(10, C, "range"))
+		tables += T
+	if(tables.len)
+		var/obj/structure/table/S = pick(tables)
+		C.throw_at(S, rand(8,10), 14, C)
+		if(prob(25))
+			radiation_pulse(C, 10)
+			playsound(C.loc, 'sound/effects/supermatter.ogg', 50, 1)
+			var/turf/B = get_turf(C.loc)
+			if(!isspaceturf(B))
+				var/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/greenglow/radioactive/GG = locate() in B.contents
+				if(!GG)
+					GG = new/obj/effect/decal/cleanable/greenglow/radioactive(B)
+				GG.reagents.add_reagent(/datum/reagent/uranium, 3)
+	..()
diff --git a/modular_citadel/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/recipes/fermi.dm b/modular_citadel/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/recipes/fermi.dm
index 282be5eb..265ef5e0 100644
--- a/modular_citadel/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/recipes/fermi.dm
+++ b/modular_citadel/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/recipes/fermi.dm
@@ -555,3 +555,28 @@
 	HIonRelease 	= 0.1
 	RateUpLim 		= 2
 	FermiChem 		= TRUE
+
+//Tablesmitium, oh no
+
+/datum/chemical_reaction/fermi/tablesmitium
+	name = "Tablesmitium"
+	id = /datum/reagent/fermi/tablesmitium
+	results = list(/datum/reagent/fermi/tablesmitium = 1)
+	required_reagents = list(/datum/reagent/bluespace = 1, /datum/reagent/uranium = 1, /datum/reagent/consumable/coffee = 1)
+	mix_message = "the reaction... Smells like admin abuse?"
+	//FermiChem vars:
+	OptimalTempMin 		= 500 // Lower area of bell curve for determining heat based rate reactions
+	OptimalTempMax		= 600 // Upper end for above
+	ExplodeTemp			= 635 //Temperature at which reaction explodes
+	OptimalpHMin		= 7 // Lowest value of pH determining pH a 1 value for pH based rate reactions (Plateu phase)
+	OptimalpHMax		= 9 // Higest value for above
+	ReactpHLim			= 5 // How far out pH wil react, giving impurity place (Exponential phase)
+	CatalystFact		= 0 // How much the catalyst affects the reaction (0 = no catalyst)
+	CurveSharpT 		= 3 // How sharp the temperature exponential curve is (to the power of value)
+	CurveSharppH 		= 5 // How sharp the pH exponential curve is (to the power of value)
+	ThermicConstant		= 10 //Temperature change per 1u produced
+	HIonRelease 		= -0.02 //pH change per 1u reaction
+	RateUpLim 			= 3 //Optimal/max rate possible if all conditions are perfect
+	FermiChem 			= TRUE//If the chemical uses the Fermichem reaction mechanics
+	FermiExplode 		= FALSE //If the chemical explodes in a special way
+	PurityMin			= 0.4 //The minimum purity something has to be above, otherwise it explodes.