diff --git a/code/datums/uplink_items/uplink_general.dm b/code/datums/uplink_items/uplink_general.dm
index 2a15591d7c8..16f098df0a5 100644
--- a/code/datums/uplink_items/uplink_general.dm
+++ b/code/datums/uplink_items/uplink_general.dm
@@ -1,4 +1,7 @@
 GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(uplink_items, subtypesof(/datum/uplink_item))
+// This define is used when we have to spawn in an uplink item in a weird way, like a Surplus crate spawning an actual crate.
+// Use this define by setting `uses_special_spawn` to TRUE on the item, and then checking if the parent proc of `spawn_item` returns this define. If it does, implement your special spawn after that.
+#define UPLINK_SPECIAL_SPAWNING "ONE PINK CHAINSAW PLEASE"
 
 /proc/get_uplink_items(obj/item/uplink/U)
 	var/list/uplink_items = list()
@@ -83,6 +86,8 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(uplink_items, subtypesof(/datum/uplink_item))
 	var/refundable = FALSE
 	var/refund_path = null // Alternative path for refunds, in case the item purchased isn't what is actually refunded (ie: holoparasites).
 	var/refund_amount // specified refund amount in case there needs to be a TC penalty for refunds.
+	/// Our special little snowflakes that have to be spawned in a different way than normal, like a surplus crate spawning a crate or contractor kits
+	var/uses_special_spawn = FALSE
 
 /datum/uplink_item/proc/spawn_item(turf/loc, obj/item/uplink/U)
 
@@ -91,12 +96,13 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(uplink_items, subtypesof(/datum/uplink_item))
 			to_chat(usr, "<span class='warning'>The Syndicate will only issue this extremely dangerous item to agents assigned the Hijack objective.</span>")
 			return
 
-	if(item)
-		U.uses -= max(cost, 0)
-		U.used_TC += cost
-		SSblackbox.record_feedback("nested tally", "traitor_uplink_items_bought", 1, list("[initial(name)]", "[cost]"))
+	U.uses -= max(cost, 0)
+	U.used_TC += cost
+	SSblackbox.record_feedback("nested tally", "traitor_uplink_items_bought", 1, list("[initial(name)]", "[cost]"))
+	if(item && !uses_special_spawn)
 		return new item(loc)
 
+	return UPLINK_SPECIAL_SPAWNING
 
 /datum/uplink_item/proc/description()
 	if(!desc)
diff --git a/code/datums/uplink_items/uplink_traitor.dm b/code/datums/uplink_items/uplink_traitor.dm
index c8db7820e1d..9f5e90ba7eb 100644
--- a/code/datums/uplink_items/uplink_traitor.dm
+++ b/code/datums/uplink_items/uplink_traitor.dm
@@ -575,6 +575,7 @@
 	item = /obj/item/storage/box/syndie_kit/bundle
 	excludefrom = list(UPLINK_TYPE_NUCLEAR, UPLINK_TYPE_SST)
 	var/crate_value = 250
+	uses_special_spawn = TRUE
 
 /datum/uplink_item/bundles_TC/surplus_crate/super
 	name = "Syndicate Super Surplus Crate"
@@ -583,84 +584,11 @@
 	cost = 200
 	crate_value = 625
 
-#define RECURSION_PANIC_AMOUNT 10
-
 /datum/uplink_item/bundles_TC/surplus_crate/spawn_item(turf/loc, obj/item/uplink/U)
-	var/obj/structure/closet/crate/C = new(loc)
-	var/list/temp_uplink_list = get_uplink_items(U)
-	var/list/buyable_items = list()
-	for(var/category in temp_uplink_list)
-		buyable_items += temp_uplink_list[category]
-
-	if(!length(buyable_items)) // UH OH.
-		fucked_shit_up_alert(loc, "[src] spawning failed: had no buyable items on purchase which would have caused an infinite loop, refunding [cost] telecrystals instead. (Original cost of the crate). Report this to coders please.")
-		generate_refund(cost, C)
-		return
-
-	var/remaining_TC = crate_value
-	var/list/bought_items = list()
-	var/list/itemlog = list()
-	U.uses -= cost
-	U.used_TC = cost
-
-	var/datum/uplink_item/I
-	var/danger_counter = 0 // lets make sure we dont get into an infinite loop...
-	while(remaining_TC)
-		if(danger_counter > RECURSION_PANIC_AMOUNT)
-			fucked_shit_up_alert(loc, "[src] spawning failed: approached an infinite loop by cost checking, giving the remaining [remaining_TC] telecrystals instead.")
-			generate_refund(remaining_TC, C)
-			break
-		if(!length(buyable_items))
-			fucked_shit_up_alert(loc, "[src] spawning failed: ran out of buyable items while looping, refunding [cost] telecrystals and cancelling crate. (Original cost of the crate). Report this to coders please.")
-			generate_refund(cost, C)
-			bought_items.Cut()
-			break
-		I = pick(buyable_items)
-		if(!I.surplus)
-			buyable_items -= I
-			continue
-		if(I.cost > remaining_TC)
-			danger_counter++
-			buyable_items -= I
-			continue
-		if(prob(100 - I.surplus))
-			continue
-		if((I.item in bought_items) && prob(33)) //To prevent people from being flooded with the same thing over and over again.
-			continue
-		bought_items += I.item
-		remaining_TC -= I.cost
-		itemlog += I.name // To make the name more readable for the log compared to just i.item
-		danger_counter = 0
-
-	U.purchase_log += "<BIG>[bicon(C)]</BIG>"
-	for(var/item in bought_items)
-		var/obj/purchased = new item(C)
-		U.purchase_log += "<BIG>[bicon(purchased)]</BIG>"
-	log_game("[key_name(usr)] purchased a surplus crate with [jointext(itemlog, ", ")]")
-
-/datum/uplink_item/bundles_TC/surplus_crate/proc/generate_refund(amount, crate)
-	var/changing_amount = amount
-	var/obj/item/stack/telecrystal/TC
-	var/prohibitor = 0
-	while(changing_amount >= 1)
-		var/give_amount = min(changing_amount, initial(TC.max_amount))
-		changing_amount -= give_amount
-		new /obj/item/stack/telecrystal(crate, give_amount)
-		if(prohibitor > RECURSION_PANIC_AMOUNT) // idk how they got 1000+ tc, dont ask me
-			new /obj/item/stack/telecrystal(crate, changing_amount)
-			// Return of Bogdanoff: doomp it
-			var/turf/T = get_turf(crate)
-			message_admins("While refunding telecrystals, [src] went over the expected limit, for a total of [amount] TC. Expected refund is likely [cost]. [ADMIN_COORDJMP(T)]")
-			break
-		prohibitor++
-
-/datum/uplink_item/bundles_TC/surplus_crate/proc/fucked_shit_up_alert(turf/loc, msg) // yeah just fuckin tell everyone, this shit is bad
-	stack_trace(msg)
-	message_admins("[msg] [ADMIN_COORDJMP(loc)]")
-	log_admin(msg)
-
-#undef RECURSION_PANIC_AMOUNT
+	if(..() != UPLINK_SPECIAL_SPAWNING)
+		return FALSE
 
+	new /obj/structure/closet/crate/surplus(loc, U, crate_value, cost)
 
 // -----------------------------------
 // PRICES OVERRIDEN FOR NUCLEAR AGENTS
diff --git a/code/game/objects/structures/crates_lockers/crates.dm b/code/game/objects/structures/crates_lockers/crates.dm
index 6b6f51f1e17..b6d9fd0399f 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/structures/crates_lockers/crates.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/structures/crates_lockers/crates.dm
@@ -543,3 +543,89 @@
 	new /obj/item/clothing/glasses/meson(src)
 	new /obj/item/card/id/golem(src)
 	new /obj/item/flashlight/lantern(src)
+
+#define RECURSION_PANIC_AMOUNT 10
+
+/obj/structure/closet/crate/surplus
+
+/obj/structure/closet/crate/surplus/Initialize(mapload, obj/item/uplink/U, crate_value, cost)
+	. = ..()
+	var/list/temp_uplink_list = get_uplink_items(U)
+	var/list/buyable_items = list()
+	for(var/category in temp_uplink_list)
+		buyable_items += temp_uplink_list[category]
+
+	for(var/datum/uplink_item/uplink_item in buyable_items)
+		if(!uplink_item.surplus) // Otherwise we'll just have an element with a weight of 0 in our weighted list
+			continue
+		buyable_items[uplink_item] = uplink_item.surplus
+
+	if(!length(buyable_items)) // UH OH - Will almost always happen when an admin will try to spawn a crate
+		fucked_shit_up_alert(loc, "[src] spawning failed: had no buyable items on purchase which would have caused an infinite loop, refunding [cost] telecrystals instead. (Original cost of the crate). Report this to coders please.")
+		generate_refund(cost, loc)
+		return
+
+	var/remaining_TC = crate_value
+	var/list/bought_items = list()
+	var/list/itemlog = list()
+
+	var/datum/uplink_item/uplink_item
+	var/danger_counter = 0 // lets make sure we dont get into an infinite loop...
+	while(remaining_TC)
+		if(danger_counter > RECURSION_PANIC_AMOUNT)
+			fucked_shit_up_alert(loc, "[src] spawning failed: approached an infinite loop by cost checking, giving the remaining [remaining_TC] telecrystals instead.")
+			generate_refund(remaining_TC, loc)
+			break
+
+		if(!length(buyable_items)) // UH OH V.2
+			fucked_shit_up_alert(loc, "[src] spawning failed: ran out of buyable items while looping, refunding [remaining_TC] telecrystals and cancelling crate. (Original cost of the crate). Report this to coders please.")
+			generate_refund(remaining_TC, loc)
+			bought_items.Cut()
+			break
+
+		uplink_item = pickweight(buyable_items)
+
+		if(uplink_item.cost > remaining_TC)
+			danger_counter++
+			buyable_items -= uplink_item
+			continue
+
+		bought_items += uplink_item.item
+		remaining_TC -= uplink_item.cost
+
+		buyable_items[uplink_item] *= 0.66 // To prevent people from getting the same thing over and over again
+
+		itemlog += uplink_item.name // To make the name more readable for the log compared to just uplink_item.item
+		danger_counter = 0
+
+	U.purchase_log += "<BIG>[bicon(src)]</BIG>"
+	for(var/item in bought_items)
+		var/obj/purchased = new item(src)
+		U.purchase_log += "<BIG>[bicon(purchased)]</BIG>"
+	log_game("[key_name(usr)] purchased a surplus crate with [jointext(itemlog, ", ")]")
+
+/obj/structure/closet/crate/surplus/proc/generate_refund(amount)
+	var/changing_amount = amount
+	var/prohibitor = 0
+	var/given_out_TC = 0
+	while(changing_amount >= 1)
+		var/obj/item/stack/telecrystal/TC = new /obj/item/stack/telecrystal(src)
+		var/give_amount = min(changing_amount, TC.max_amount)
+		TC.amount = give_amount
+		changing_amount -= give_amount
+		given_out_TC += give_amount
+		if(prohibitor > RECURSION_PANIC_AMOUNT) // idk how they got 1000+ tc, dont ask me
+			new /obj/item/stack/telecrystal(src, changing_amount)
+			// Return of Bogdanoff: doomp it
+			var/turf/T = get_turf(loc)
+			given_out_TC += changing_amount
+			message_admins("While refunding telecrystals, [src] went over the expected limit, for a total of [amount] TC. Expected refund is likely [given_out_TC]. [ADMIN_COORDJMP(T)]")
+			break
+		prohibitor++
+
+/obj/structure/closet/crate/surplus/proc/fucked_shit_up_alert(turf/loc, msg) // yeah just fuckin tell everyone, this shit is bad
+	stack_trace(msg)
+	message_admins("[msg] [ADMIN_COORDJMP(loc)]")
+	log_admin(msg)
+
+#undef RECURSION_PANIC_AMOUNT