diff --git a/code/__DEFINES/combat.dm b/code/__DEFINES/combat.dm
index 499be494056..71c6bac6979 100644
--- a/code/__DEFINES/combat.dm
+++ b/code/__DEFINES/combat.dm
@@ -63,6 +63,17 @@
 #define THROWN_PROJECTILE_ATTACK 4
 #define LEAP_ATTACK 5
 
+//Embedded objects
+#define EMBEDDED_PAIN_CHANCE 					15	//Chance for embedded objects to cause pain (damage user)
+#define EMBEDDED_ITEM_FALLOUT 					5	//Chance for embedded object to fall out (causing pain but removing the object)
+#define EMBED_CHANCE							45	//Chance for an object to embed into somebody when thrown (if it's sharp)
+#define EMBEDDED_PAIN_MULTIPLIER				2	//Coefficient of multiplication for the damage the item does while embedded (this*item.w_class)
+#define EMBEDDED_FALL_PAIN_MULTIPLIER			5	//Coefficient of multiplication for the damage the item does when it falls out (this*item.w_class)
+#define EMBEDDED_IMPACT_PAIN_MULTIPLIER			4	//Coefficient of multiplication for the damage the item does when it first embeds (this*item.w_class)
+#define EMBED_THROWSPEED_THRESHOLD				4	//The minimum value of an item's throw_speed for it to embed (Unless it has embedded_ignore_throwspeed_threshold set to 1)
+#define EMBEDDED_UNSAFE_REMOVAL_PAIN_MULTIPLIER 8	//Coefficient of multiplication for the damage the item does when removed without a surgery (this*item.w_class)
+#define EMBEDDED_UNSAFE_REMOVAL_TIME			30	//A Time in ticks, total removal time = (this*item.w_class)
+
 //Gun Stuff
  #define SAWN_INTACT  0
  #define SAWN_OFF     1
diff --git a/code/__DEFINES/is_helpers.dm b/code/__DEFINES/is_helpers.dm
index a27e3f8e96a..d708813b139 100644
--- a/code/__DEFINES/is_helpers.dm
+++ b/code/__DEFINES/is_helpers.dm
@@ -2,9 +2,19 @@
 #define isatom(A) istype(A, /atom)
 #define ismovableatom(A) istype(A, /atom/movable)
 
-// Mobs 
+// Mobs
 #define ismegafauna(A) istype(A, /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/megafauna)
 
+//Objects
+
+var/list/static/global/pointed_types = typecacheof(list(
+	/obj/item/weapon/pen,
+	/obj/item/weapon/screwdriver,
+	/obj/item/weapon/reagent_containers/syringe,
+	/obj/item/weapon/kitchen/utensil/fork))
+
+#define is_pointed(W) (is_type_in_typecache(W, pointed_types))
+
 //Turfs
 #define issimulatedturf(A) istype(A, /turf/simulated)
 
diff --git a/code/__HELPERS/unsorted.dm b/code/__HELPERS/unsorted.dm
index 82b2ea8b419..c90db77effb 100644
--- a/code/__HELPERS/unsorted.dm
+++ b/code/__HELPERS/unsorted.dm
@@ -1081,6 +1081,21 @@ proc/get_mob_with_client_list()
 	return get_turf(location)
 
 
+//For objects that should embed, but make no sense being is_sharp or is_pointed()
+//e.g: rods
+var/list/can_embed_types = typecacheof(list(
+	/obj/item/stack/rods,
+	/obj/item/pipe))
+
+/proc/can_embed(obj/item/W)
+	if(is_sharp(W))
+		return 1
+	if(is_pointed(W))
+		return 1
+
+	if(is_type_in_typecache(W, can_embed_types))
+		return 1
+
 //Quick type checks for some tools
 var/global/list/common_tools = list(
 /obj/item/stack/cable_coil,
@@ -1199,22 +1214,6 @@ var/global/list/common_tools = list(
 	if(O.edge) return 1
 	return 0
 
-//Returns 1 if the given item is capable of popping things like balloons, inflatable barriers, or cutting police tape.
-/proc/can_puncture(obj/item/W as obj)		// For the record, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS METHOD OF DOING IT?
-	if(!istype(W)) return 0
-	if(!W) return 0
-	if(W.sharp) return 1
-	return ( \
-		W.sharp													  || \
-		istype(W, /obj/item/weapon/screwdriver)                   || \
-		istype(W, /obj/item/weapon/pen)                           || \
-		istype(W, /obj/item/weapon/weldingtool)					  || \
-		istype(W, /obj/item/weapon/lighter/zippo)				  || \
-		istype(W, /obj/item/weapon/match)            		      || \
-		istype(W, /obj/item/clothing/mask/cigarette) 		      || \
-		istype(W, /obj/item/weapon/shovel) \
-	)
-
 /proc/is_surgery_tool(obj/item/W as obj)
 	return (	\
 	istype(W, /obj/item/weapon/scalpel)			||	\
@@ -1891,4 +1890,4 @@ var/global/list/g_fancy_list_of_types = null
 		var/num = pick(num_sample)
 		num_sample -= num
 		result += (1 << num)
-	return result
+	return result
diff --git a/code/datums/spells/summonitem.dm b/code/datums/spells/summonitem.dm
index 32472fe1ec0..bb650eb17f9 100644
--- a/code/datums/spells/summonitem.dm
+++ b/code/datums/spells/summonitem.dm
@@ -79,6 +79,14 @@
 								add_logs(target, C, "magically debrained", addition="INTENT: [uppertext(target.a_intent)]")*/
 						if(C.stomach_contents && item_to_retrive in C.stomach_contents)
 							C.stomach_contents -= item_to_retrive
+						for(var/X in C.bodyparts)
+							var/obj/item/organ/external/part = X
+							if(item_to_retrive in part.embedded_objects)
+								part.embedded_objects -= item_to_retrive
+								to_chat(C, "<span class='warning'>The [item_to_retrive] that was embedded in your [part] has myseriously vanished. How fortunate!</span>")
+								if(!C.has_embedded_objects())
+									C.clear_alert("embeddedobject")
+								break
 
 				else
 					if(istype(item_to_retrive.loc,/obj/machinery/portable_atmospherics/)) //Edge cases for moved machinery
diff --git a/code/game/gamemodes/changeling/powers/revive.dm b/code/game/gamemodes/changeling/powers/revive.dm
index 5fd98986332..9077f623a2c 100644
--- a/code/game/gamemodes/changeling/powers/revive.dm
+++ b/code/game/gamemodes/changeling/powers/revive.dm
@@ -39,10 +39,6 @@
 			var/obj/item/organ/external/O = H.bodyparts_by_name[organ_name]
 			if(!O)
 				continue
-			for(var/obj/item/weapon/shard/shrapnel/s in O.implants)
-				O.implants -= s
-				H.contents -= s
-				qdel(s)
 			O.brute_dam = 0
 			O.burn_dam = 0
 			O.damage_state = "00"
@@ -58,6 +54,7 @@
 		for(var/obj/item/organ/internal/IO in H.internal_organs)
 			IO.damage = 0
 			IO.trace_chemicals.Cut()
+		H.remove_all_embedded_objects()
 		H.updatehealth()
 
 	to_chat(user, "<span class='notice'>We have regenerated.</span>")
diff --git a/code/game/gamemodes/miniantags/borer/borer.dm b/code/game/gamemodes/miniantags/borer/borer.dm
index ea92b93f473..77a0803a706 100644
--- a/code/game/gamemodes/miniantags/borer/borer.dm
+++ b/code/game/gamemodes/miniantags/borer/borer.dm
@@ -361,11 +361,6 @@
 	host = M
 	forceMove(M)
 
-	if(ishuman(M))
-		var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = M
-		var/obj/item/organ/external/head = H.get_organ("head")
-		head.implants += src
-
 	host.status_flags |= PASSEMOTES
 
 	RemoveBorerActions()
@@ -746,11 +741,6 @@
 
 	controlling = FALSE
 
-	if(ishuman(host))
-		var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = host
-		var/obj/item/organ/external/head = H.get_organ("head")
-		head.implants -= src
-
 	reset_perspective(null)
 	machine = null
 
diff --git a/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/artefact.dm b/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/artefact.dm
index 1dd20906704..8e635e5d027 100644
--- a/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/artefact.dm
+++ b/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/artefact.dm
@@ -780,7 +780,7 @@ var/global/list/multiverse = list()
 			to_chat(target, "<span class='userdanger'>You suddenly feel very hot</span>")
 			target.bodytemperature += 50
 			GiveHint(target)
-		else if(can_puncture(I))
+		else if(is_pointed(I))
 			to_chat(target, "<span class='userdanger'>You feel a stabbing pain in [parse_zone(user.zone_sel.selecting)]!</span>")
 			target.Weaken(2)
 			GiveHint(target)
diff --git a/code/game/machinery/adv_med.dm b/code/game/machinery/adv_med.dm
index 41dc37ab43f..6d7264e9256 100644
--- a/code/game/machinery/adv_med.dm
+++ b/code/game/machinery/adv_med.dm
@@ -398,7 +398,7 @@
 			organData["broken"] = E.min_broken_damage
 
 			var/shrapnelData[0]
-			for(var/obj/I in E.implants)
+			for(var/obj/I in E.embedded_objects)
 				var/shrapnelSubData[0]
 				shrapnelSubData["name"] = I.name
 
@@ -605,7 +605,7 @@
 						infected = "Septic:"
 
 				var/unknown_body = 0
-				for(var/I in e.implants)
+				for(var/I in e.embedded_objects)
 					unknown_body++
 
 				if(unknown_body || e.hidden)
diff --git a/code/game/objects/items.dm b/code/game/objects/items.dm
index 00eb1bd6884..469dcd1863a 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/items.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/items.dm
@@ -63,6 +63,17 @@ var/global/image/fire_overlay = image("icon" = 'icons/goonstation/effects/fire.d
 
 	var/mob/thrownby = null
 
+	//So items can have custom embedd values
+	//Because customisation is king
+	var/embed_chance = EMBED_CHANCE
+	var/embedded_fall_chance = EMBEDDED_ITEM_FALLOUT
+	var/embedded_pain_chance = EMBEDDED_PAIN_CHANCE
+	var/embedded_pain_multiplier = EMBEDDED_PAIN_MULTIPLIER  //The coefficient of multiplication for the damage this item does while embedded (this*w_class)
+	var/embedded_fall_pain_multiplier = EMBEDDED_FALL_PAIN_MULTIPLIER //The coefficient of multiplication for the damage this item does when falling out of a limb (this*w_class)
+	var/embedded_impact_pain_multiplier = EMBEDDED_IMPACT_PAIN_MULTIPLIER //The coefficient of multiplication for the damage this item does when first embedded (this*w_class)
+	var/embedded_unsafe_removal_pain_multiplier = EMBEDDED_UNSAFE_REMOVAL_PAIN_MULTIPLIER //The coefficient of multiplication for the damage removing this without surgery causes (this*w_class)
+	var/embedded_unsafe_removal_time = EMBEDDED_UNSAFE_REMOVAL_TIME //A time in ticks, multiplied by the w_class.
+
 	var/toolspeed = 1 // If this item is a tool, the speed multiplier
 
 	/* Species-specific sprites, concept stolen from Paradise//vg/.
diff --git a/code/game/objects/items/latexballoon.dm b/code/game/objects/items/latexballoon.dm
index 5f55a5acdcc..dccc8f041f6 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/items/latexballoon.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/items/latexballoon.dm
@@ -59,5 +59,5 @@
 		var/obj/item/weapon/tank/T = W
 		blow(T, user)
 		return
-	if(is_sharp(W) || is_hot(W) || can_puncture(W))
+	if(is_sharp(W) || is_hot(W) || is_pointed(W))
 		burst()
diff --git a/code/game/objects/items/policetape.dm b/code/game/objects/items/policetape.dm
index 127f3f82c41..31da04bc799 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/items/policetape.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/items/policetape.dm
@@ -174,7 +174,7 @@ var/list/tape_roll_applications = list()
 	breaktape(/obj/item/weapon/wirecutters,user)
 
 /obj/item/tape/proc/breaktape(obj/item/weapon/W as obj, mob/user as mob)
-	if(user.a_intent == I_HELP && ((!can_puncture(W) && src.allowed(user))))
+	if(user.a_intent == I_HELP && ((!is_pointed(W) && src.allowed(user))))
 		to_chat(user, "You can't break the [src] with that!")
 		return
 	user.visible_message("<span class=warning>[user] breaks the [src]!</span>", "<span class=warning>You break the [src]!</span>")
diff --git a/code/game/objects/structures/inflatable.dm b/code/game/objects/structures/inflatable.dm
index 14f1357af87..2cdcfc18376 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/structures/inflatable.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/structures/inflatable.dm
@@ -96,7 +96,7 @@
 /obj/structure/inflatable/attackby(obj/item/weapon/W as obj, mob/user as mob, params)
 	if(!istype(W))
 		return
-	if(can_puncture(W))
+	if(is_pointed(W))
 		visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] pierces [src] with [W]!</span>")
 		deflate(1)
 	if(W.damtype == BRUTE || W.damtype == BURN)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/carbon.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/carbon.dm
index 141d760287a..eb17146192c 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/carbon.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/carbon.dm
@@ -244,6 +244,10 @@
 				if(status == "")
 					status = "OK"
 				src.show_message(text("\t []My [] is [].",status=="OK"?"<span class='notice'></span>":"<span class='warning'></span>",org.name,status),1)
+
+				for(var/obj/item/I in org.embedded_objects)
+					to_chat(src, "\t <a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];embedded_object=\ref[I];embedded_limb=\ref[org]' class='warning'>There is \a [I] embedded in your [org.name]!</a>")
+
 			if(staminaloss)
 				if(staminaloss > 30)
 					to_chat(src, "<span class='info'>You're completely exhausted.</span>")
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/death.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/death.dm
index 69e86de81e6..e2d44bfba5c 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/death.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/death.dm
@@ -90,8 +90,10 @@
 		if(src)			qdel(src)
 
 /mob/living/carbon/human/death(gibbed)
-	if(stat == DEAD)	return
-	if(healths)		healths.icon_state = "health5"
+	if(stat == DEAD)
+		return
+	if(healths)
+		healths.icon_state = "health5"
 
 	if(!gibbed)
 		emote("deathgasp") //let the world KNOW WE ARE DEAD
@@ -102,21 +104,8 @@
 	set_heartattack(FALSE)
 
 	//Handle species-specific deaths.
-	if(species) species.handle_death(src)
-
-	//Handle brain slugs.
-	var/obj/item/organ/external/head = get_organ("head")
-	var/mob/living/simple_animal/borer/B
-
-	if(istype(head))
-		for(var/I in head.implants)
-			if(istype(I,/mob/living/simple_animal/borer))
-				B = I
-	if(B)
-		if(B.controlling && B.host == src)
-			B.detach()
-
-		verbs -= /mob/living/carbon/proc/release_control
+	if(species)
+		species.handle_death(src)
 
 	callHook("death", list(src, gibbed))
 
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/examine.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/examine.dm
index 693973ab42d..2215df8d3f4 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/examine.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/examine.dm
@@ -382,6 +382,9 @@
 			else
 				wound_flavor_text["[temp.limb_name]"] = ""
 
+			for(var/obj/item/I in temp.embedded_objects)
+				msg += "<B>[t_He] [t_has] \a \icon[I] [I] embedded in [t_his] [temp.name]!</B>\n"
+
 	//Handles the text strings being added to the actual description.
 	//If they have something that covers the limb, and it is not missing, put flavortext.  If it is covered but bleeding, add other flavortext.
 	var/display_chest = 0
@@ -438,9 +441,6 @@
 	if(display_gloves)
 		msg += "<span class='warning'><b>[src] has blood running from under [t_his] gloves!</b></span>\n"
 
-
-	for(var/implant in get_visible_implants(0))
-		msg += "<span class='warning'><b>[src] has \a [implant] sticking out of [t_his] flesh!</b></span>\n"
 	if(digitalcamo)
 		msg += "[t_He] [t_is] repulsively uncanny!\n"
 	if(!(skipface || ( wear_mask && ( wear_mask.flags_inv & HIDEFACE || wear_mask.flags_cover & MASKCOVERSMOUTH) ) ) && is_thrall(src) && in_range(user,src))
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human.dm
index 000a7a52bd0..3a233c869db 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human.dm
@@ -8,7 +8,6 @@
 	//why are these here and not in human_defines.dm
 	//var/list/hud_list[10]
 	var/datum/species/species //Contains icon generation and language information, set during New().
-	var/embedded_flag		//To check if we've need to roll for damage on movement while an item is imbedded in us.
 	var/obj/item/weapon/rig/wearing_rig // This is very not good, but it's much much better than calling get_rig() every update_canmove() call.
 
 /mob/living/carbon/human/New(var/new_loc, var/new_species = null, var/delay_ready_dna = 0)
@@ -700,6 +699,28 @@
 			if(G && G.pickpocket)
 				thief_mode = 1
 
+		if(href_list["embedded_object"])
+			var/obj/item/organ/external/L = locate(href_list["embedded_limb"]) in bodyparts
+			if(!L)
+				return
+			var/obj/item/I = locate(href_list["embedded_object"]) in L.embedded_objects
+			if(!I || I.loc != src) //no item, no limb, or item is not in limb or in the person anymore
+				return
+			var/time_taken = I.embedded_unsafe_removal_time*I.w_class
+			usr.visible_message("<span class='warning'>[usr] attempts to remove [I] from their [L.name].</span>","<span class='notice'>You attempt to remove [I] from your [L.name]... (It will take [time_taken/10] seconds.)</span>")
+			if(do_after(usr, time_taken, needhand = 1, target = src))
+				if(!I || !L || I.loc != src || !(I in L.embedded_objects))
+					return
+				L.embedded_objects -= I
+				L.receive_damage(I.embedded_unsafe_removal_pain_multiplier*I.w_class)//It hurts to rip it out, get surgery you dingus.
+				I.forceMove(get_turf(src))
+				usr.put_in_hands(I)
+				usr.emote("scream")
+				usr.visible_message("[usr] successfully rips [I] out of their [L.name]!","<span class='notice'>You successfully remove [I] from your [L.name].</span>")
+				if(!has_embedded_objects())
+					clear_alert("embeddedobject")
+			return
+
 		if(href_list["item"])
 			var/slot = text2num(href_list["item"])
 			if(slot in check_obscured_slots())
@@ -1348,16 +1369,6 @@
 	else
 		..()
 
-/mob/living/carbon/human/get_visible_implants(var/class = 0)
-
-	var/list/visible_implants = list()
-	for(var/obj/item/organ/external/organ in bodyparts)
-		for(var/obj/item/weapon/O in organ.implants)
-			if(!istype(O,/obj/item/weapon/implant) && (O.w_class > class) && !istype(O,/obj/item/weapon/shard/shrapnel))
-				visible_implants += O
-
-	return(visible_implants)
-
 /mob/living/carbon/human/generate_name()
 	name = species.makeName(gender,src)
 	real_name = name
@@ -1365,29 +1376,6 @@
 		dna.real_name = name
 	return name
 
-/mob/living/carbon/human/proc/handle_embedded_objects()
-
-	for(var/obj/item/organ/external/organ in bodyparts)
-		if(organ.status & ORGAN_SPLINTED) //Splints prevent movement.
-			continue
-		for(var/obj/item/weapon/O in organ.implants)
-			if(!istype(O,/obj/item/weapon/implant) && prob(5)) //Moving with things stuck in you could be bad.
-				// All kinds of embedded objects cause bleeding.
-				var/msg = null
-				switch(rand(1,3))
-					if(1)
-						msg ="<span class='warning'>A spike of pain jolts your [organ.name] as you bump [O] inside.</span>"
-					if(2)
-						msg ="<span class='warning'>Your movement jostles [O] in your [organ.name] painfully.</span>"
-					if(3)
-						msg ="<span class='warning'>[O] in your [organ.name] twists painfully as you move.</span>"
-				to_chat(src, msg)
-
-				organ.take_damage(rand(1,3), 0, 0)
-				if(!(organ.status & ORGAN_ROBOT)) //There is no blood in protheses.
-					organ.status |= ORGAN_BLEEDING
-					src.adjustToxLoss(rand(1,3))
-
 /mob/living/carbon/human/verb/check_pulse()
 	set category = null
 	set name = "Check pulse"
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_defense.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_defense.dm
index 585ac587ffc..747351b9755 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_defense.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_defense.dm
@@ -46,13 +46,14 @@ emp_act
 		var/armor = getarmor_organ(organ, "bullet")
 		if((P.embed && prob(20 + max(P.damage - armor, -10))))
 			var/obj/item/weapon/shard/shrapnel/SP = new()
-			(SP.name) = "[P.name] shrapnel"
+			SP.name = "[P.name] shrapnel"
 			if(P.ammo_casing && P.ammo_casing.caliber)
-				(SP.desc) = "[SP.desc] It looks like it is a [P.ammo_casing.caliber] caliber round."
+				SP.desc = "[SP.desc] It looks like it is a [P.ammo_casing.caliber] caliber round."
 			else
-				(SP.desc) = "[SP.desc] The round's caliber is unidentifiable."
-			(SP.loc) = organ
-			organ.embed(SP)
+				SP.desc = "[SP.desc] The round's caliber is unidentifiable."
+			throw_alert("embeddedobject", /obj/screen/alert/embeddedobject)
+			organ.embedded_objects |= SP
+			SP.forceMove(src)
 
 	organ.add_autopsy_data(P.name, P.damage) // Add the bullet's name to the autopsy data
 
@@ -297,21 +298,6 @@ emp_act
 	if(Iforce > 10 || Iforce >= 5 && prob(33))
 		forcesay(hit_appends)	//forcesay checks stat already
 
-/*	//Melee weapon embedded object code. Commented out, as most people on the forums seem to find this annoying and think it does not contribute to general gameplay. - Dave
-	if(I.damtype == BRUTE && !I.is_robot_module())
-		var/damage = I.force
-		if(armor)
-			damage /= armor+1
-
-		//blunt objects should really not be embedding in things unless a huge amount of force is involved
-		var/embed_chance = weapon_sharp? damage/I.w_class : damage/(I.w_class*3)
-		var/embed_threshold = weapon_sharp? 5*I.w_class : 15*I.w_class
-
-		//Sharp objects will always embed if they do enough damage.
-		if(((weapon_sharp && damage > (10*I.w_class)) || (damage > embed_threshold && prob(embed_chance))) && (I.no_embed == 0) )
-			affecting.embed(I)
-	return 1*/
-
 //this proc handles being hit by a thrown atom
 /mob/living/carbon/human/hitby(atom/movable/AM, skipcatch = 0, hitpush = 1, blocked = 0)
 	var/obj/item/I
@@ -325,24 +311,19 @@ emp_act
 		hitpush = 0
 		skipcatch = 1
 		blocked = 1
-	/*else if(I)
+	else if(I)
 		if(I.throw_speed >= EMBED_THROWSPEED_THRESHOLD)
-			if(!I.is_robot_module())
-				var/armor = run_armor_check(affecting, "melee", "Your armor has protected your [hit_area].", "Your armor has softened hit to your [hit_area].", I.armour_penetration) //I guess "melee" is the best fit here
-				var/sharp = is_sharp(I)
-				var/damage = throwpower * (I.throw_speed / 5)
-				if(armor)
-					damage /= armor + 1
-
-				//blunt objects should really not be embedding in things unless a huge amount of force is involved
-				var/embed_chance = sharp? damage / I.w_class : damage/(I.w_class * 3)
-				var/embed_threshold = sharp? 5 * I.w_class : 15 * I.w_class
-
-				//Sharp objects will always embed if they do enough damage.
-				//Thrown sharp objects have some momentum already and have a small chance to embed even if the damage is below the threshold
-
-				if(((sharp && prob(damage / (10 * I.w_class) * 100)) || (damage > embed_threshold && prob(embed_chance))) && (I.no_embed == 0))
-					affecting.embed(I)*/
+			if(can_embed(I))
+				if(prob(I.embed_chance))
+					throw_alert("embeddedobject", /obj/screen/alert/embeddedobject)
+					var/obj/item/organ/external/L = pick(bodyparts)
+					L.embedded_objects |= I
+//					I.add_mob_blood(src)//it embedded itself in you, of course it's bloody!
+					I.forceMove(src)
+					L.take_damage(I.w_class*I.embedded_impact_pain_multiplier)
+					visible_message("<span class='danger'>[I] embeds itself in [src]'s [L.name]!</span>","<span class='userdanger'>[I] embeds itself in your [L.name]!</span>")
+					hitpush = 0
+					skipcatch = 1 //can't catch the now embedded item
 	return ..()
 
 /mob/living/carbon/human/proc/bloody_hands(var/mob/living/source, var/amount = 2)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/life.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/life.dm
index 00dbc50e8d0..f7504c5cbad 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/life.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/life.dm
@@ -40,6 +40,10 @@
 		if(!client)
 			species.handle_npc(src)
 
+	if(stat != DEAD)
+		//Stuff jammed in your limbs hurts
+		handle_embedded_objects()
+
 	if(stat == DEAD)
 		handle_decay()
 
@@ -839,13 +843,6 @@
 			blinded = 1
 			stat = UNCONSCIOUS
 
-		if(embedded_flag && !(mob_master.current_cycle % 10))
-			var/list/E
-			E = get_visible_implants(0)
-			if(!E.len)
-				embedded_flag = 0
-
-
 		//Vision //god knows why this is here
 		var/obj/item/organ/vision
 		if(species.vision_organ)
@@ -958,6 +955,22 @@
 				adjustToxLoss(-3)
 				lastpuke = 0
 
+/mob/living/carbon/human/proc/handle_embedded_objects()
+	for(var/X in bodyparts)
+		var/obj/item/organ/external/BP = X
+		for(var/obj/item/I in BP.embedded_objects)
+			if(prob(I.embedded_pain_chance))
+				BP.take_damage(I.w_class*I.embedded_pain_multiplier)
+				to_chat(src, "<span class='userdanger'>[I] embedded in your [BP.name] hurts!</span>")
+
+			if(prob(I.embedded_fall_chance))
+				BP.take_damage(I.w_class*I.embedded_fall_pain_multiplier)
+				BP.embedded_objects -= I
+				I.loc = get_turf(src)
+				visible_message("<span class='danger'>[I] falls out of [name]'s [BP.name]!</span>","<span class='userdanger'>[I] falls out of your [BP.name]!</span>")
+				if(!has_embedded_objects())
+					clear_alert("embeddedobject")
+
 /mob/living/carbon/human/handle_changeling()
 	if(mind)
 		if(mind.changeling)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species/species.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species/species.dm
index c1d1a169c1d..d658863450d 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species/species.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/species/species.dm
@@ -399,9 +399,6 @@
 	if(has_gravity(H))
 		gravity = 1
 
-	if(H.embedded_flag)
-		H.handle_embedded_objects() //Moving with objects stuck in you can cause bad times.
-
 	if(!ignoreslow && gravity)
 		if(slowdown)
 			. = slowdown
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/living.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/living.dm
index 06b6440f756..c1fb31a255b 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/living.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/living.dm
@@ -512,6 +512,7 @@
 			human_mob.restore_blood()
 			human_mob.shock_stage = 0
 			human_mob.decaylevel = 0
+			human_mob.remove_all_embedded_objects()
 
 	restore_all_organs()
 	surgeries.Cut() //End all surgeries.
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/mob.dm b/code/modules/mob/mob.dm
index cb86d417fbc..f4dce4b362b 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/mob.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/mob.dm
@@ -1048,104 +1048,6 @@ var/list/slot_equipment_priority = list( \
 /mob/proc/get_species()
 	return ""
 
-/mob/proc/get_visible_implants(var/class = 0)
-	var/list/visible_implants = list()
-	for(var/obj/item/O in embedded)
-		if(O.w_class > class)
-			visible_implants += O
-	return visible_implants
-
-/mob/proc/yank_out_object()
-	set category = "Object"
-	set name = "Yank out object"
-	set desc = "Remove an embedded item at the cost of bleeding and pain."
-	set src in view(1)
-
-	if(!isliving(usr) || usr.next_move > world.time)
-		return
-	usr.changeNext_move(CLICK_CD_RESIST)
-
-	if(usr.stat == 1)
-		to_chat(usr, "You are unconcious and cannot do that!")
-		return
-
-	if(usr.restrained())
-		to_chat(usr, "You are restrained and cannot do that!")
-		return
-
-	var/mob/S = src
-	var/mob/U = usr
-	var/list/valid_objects = list()
-	var/self = null
-
-	if(S == U)
-		self = 1 // Removing object from yourself.
-
-	valid_objects = get_visible_implants(0)
-	if(!valid_objects.len)
-		if(self)
-			to_chat(src, "You have nothing stuck in your body that is large enough to remove.")
-		else
-			to_chat(U, "[src] has nothing stuck in their wounds that is large enough to remove.")
-		return
-
-	var/obj/item/weapon/selection = input("What do you want to yank out?", "Embedded objects") in valid_objects
-
-	if(self)
-		visible_message("<span class='warning'>[usr] appears to be trying to extract an object from their body.</span>")
-		to_chat(src, "<span class='warning'>You attempt to get a good grip on [selection] in your body.</span>")
-	else
-		visible_message("<span class='warning'>[usr] attempts to get a good grip on [selection] in [S]'s body.</span>")
-		to_chat(U, "<span class='warning'>You attempt to get a good grip on [selection] in [S]'s body.</span>")
-
-	if(!do_after(U, 80, target = S))
-		return
-	if(!selection || !S || !U)
-		return
-
-	if(self)
-		visible_message("<span class='warning'><b>[src] rips [selection] out of their body.</b></span>","<span class='warning'><b>You rip [selection] out of your body.</b></span>")
-	else
-		visible_message("<span class='warning'><b>[usr] rips [selection] out of [src]'s body.</b></span>","<span class='warning'><b>[usr] rips [selection] out of your body.</b></span>")
-	valid_objects = get_visible_implants(0)
-	if(valid_objects.len == 1) //Yanking out last object - removing verb.
-		src.verbs -= /mob/proc/yank_out_object
-
-	if(ishuman(src))
-
-		var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = src
-		var/obj/item/organ/external/affected
-
-		for(var/obj/item/organ/external/organ in H.bodyparts) //Grab the organ holding the implant.
-			for(var/obj/item/weapon/O in organ.implants)
-				if(O == selection)
-					affected = organ
-
-		affected.implants -= selection
-		H.shock_stage+=10
-
-		if(prob(10)) //I'M SO ANEMIC I COULD JUST -DIE-.
-			var/datum/wound/internal_bleeding/I = new ()
-			affected.wounds += I
-			H.custom_pain("Something tears wetly in your [affected] as [selection] is pulled free!", 1)
-
-		if(ishuman(U))
-			var/mob/living/carbon/human/human_user = U
-			human_user.bloody_hands(H)
-
-	selection.forceMove(get_turf(src))
-	if(!(U.l_hand && U.r_hand))
-		U.put_in_hands(selection)
-
-	for(var/obj/item/weapon/O in pinned)
-		if(O == selection)
-			pinned -= O
-		if(!pinned.len)
-			anchored = 0
-	return 1
-
-
-
 /mob/dead/observer/verb/respawn()
 	set name = "Respawn as NPC"
 	set category = "Ghost"
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/mob_defines.dm b/code/modules/mob/mob_defines.dm
index 2988363ffb9..a5d0ab00a4d 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/mob_defines.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/mob_defines.dm
@@ -54,7 +54,6 @@
 	var/unacidable = 0
 	var/can_strip = 1
 	var/list/pinned = list()            //List of things pinning this creature to walls (see living_defense.dm)
-	var/list/embedded = list()          //Embedded items, since simple mobs don't have organs.
 	var/list/languages = list()         // For speaking/listening.
 	var/list/abilities = list()         // For species-derived or admin-given powers.
 	var/list/speak_emote = list("says") // Verbs used when speaking. Defaults to 'say' if speak_emote is null.
@@ -196,5 +195,5 @@
 	var/list/permanent_huds = list()
 
 	var/list/actions = list()
-	
+
 	var/list/progressbars = null	//for stacking do_after bars
diff --git a/code/modules/surgery/implant.dm b/code/modules/surgery/implant.dm
index 498976c4635..2a4f4ad20ea 100644
--- a/code/modules/surgery/implant.dm
+++ b/code/modules/surgery/implant.dm
@@ -199,14 +199,14 @@
 				affected.wounds += I
 				affected.owner.custom_pain("You feel something rip in your [affected.name]!", 1)
 			user.drop_item()
-			target.internal_organs += tool
+			affected.hidden = tool
 			tool.forceMove(affected)
 			return 1
 	else
 		if(IC)
 			user.visible_message("[user] pulls [IC] out of [target]'s [target_zone]!", "<span class='notice'>You pull [IC] out of [target]'s [target_zone].</span>")
 			user.put_in_hands(IC)
-			target.internal_organs -= IC
+			affected.hidden = null
 			return 1
 		else
 			to_chat(user, "<span class='warning'>You don't find anything in [target]'s [target_zone].</span>")
@@ -214,18 +214,18 @@
 
 
 //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
-//					IMPLANT/ITEM REMOVAL SURGERY						//
+//					IMPLANT REMOVAL SURGERY						//
 //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
 
 /datum/surgery/cavity_implant_rem
 	name = "Implant Removal"
 	steps = list(/datum/surgery_step/generic/cut_open, /datum/surgery_step/generic/clamp_bleeders, /datum/surgery_step/generic/retract_skin,/datum/surgery_step/cavity/implant_removal,/datum/surgery_step/cavity/close_space,/datum/surgery_step/generic/cauterize/)
-	possible_locs = list("chest")//head is for borers..i can put it elsewhere
+	possible_locs = list("chest")
 
 /datum/surgery/cavity_implant_rem/synth
 	name = "Implant Removal"
 	steps = list(/datum/surgery_step/robotics/external/unscrew_hatch,/datum/surgery_step/robotics/external/open_hatch,/datum/surgery_step/cavity/implant_removal,/datum/surgery_step/robotics/external/close_hatch)
-	possible_locs = list("chest")//head is for borers..i can put it elsewhere
+	possible_locs = list("chest")
 
 /datum/surgery/cavity_implant_rem/can_start(mob/user, mob/living/carbon/human/target)
 	if(!istype(target))
@@ -295,102 +295,4 @@
 	else
 		user.visible_message("<span class='notice'> [user] could not find anything inside [target]'s [affected.name], and pulls \the [tool] out.</span>", \
 		"<span class='notice'>You could not find anything inside [target]'s [affected.name].</span>")
-		return 1
-
-/datum/surgery_step/cavity/implant_removal/fail_step(mob/living/user, mob/living/carbon/human/target, target_zone, obj/item/tool,datum/surgery/surgery)
-	..()
-	var/obj/item/organ/external/chest/affected = target.get_organ(target_zone)
-	if(affected.implants.len)
-		var/fail_prob = 10
-		fail_prob += 100 - tool_quality(tool)
-		if(prob(fail_prob))
-			var/obj/item/weapon/implant/imp = affected.implants[1]
-			user.visible_message("<span class='warning'> Something beeps inside [target]'s [affected.name]!</span>")
-			playsound(imp.loc, 'sound/items/countdown.ogg', 75, 1, -3)
-			spawn(25)
-				imp.activate()
-	return 0
-
-
-//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
-//					EMBEDDED ITEM REOMOVAL						//
-//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
-
-/datum/surgery/embedded_removal
-	name = "Removal of Embedded Objects"
-	steps = list(/datum/surgery_step/generic/cut_open, /datum/surgery_step/generic/clamp_bleeders, /datum/surgery_step/generic/retract_skin, /datum/surgery_step/remove_object, /datum/surgery_step/generic/cauterize)
-	possible_locs = list("r_arm","l_arm","r_leg","l_leg","r_hand","r_foot","l_hand","l_foot","groin","chest","head")
-
-/datum/surgery/embedded_removal/synth
-	steps = list(/datum/surgery_step/robotics/external/unscrew_hatch,/datum/surgery_step/robotics/external/open_hatch, /datum/surgery_step/remove_object, /datum/surgery_step/robotics/external/close_hatch)
-	possible_locs = list("r_arm","l_arm","r_leg","l_leg","r_hand","r_foot","l_hand","l_foot","groin","chest","head")
-
-
-/datum/surgery/embedded_removal/can_start(mob/user, mob/living/carbon/human/target)
-	if(!istype(target))
-		return 0
-	var/obj/item/organ/external/affected = target.get_organ(user.zone_sel.selecting)
-	if(!affected)
-		return 0
-	if(affected.status & ORGAN_ROBOT)
-		return 0
-	return 1
-
-/datum/surgery/embedded_removal/synth/can_start(mob/user, mob/living/carbon/human/target)
-	if(!istype(target))
-		return 0
-	var/obj/item/organ/external/affected = target.get_organ(user.zone_sel.selecting)
-	if(!affected)
-		return 0
-	if(!(affected.status & ORGAN_ROBOT))
-		return 0
-	return 1
-
-/datum/surgery_step/remove_object
-	name = "remove embedded objects"
-	time = 32
-	allowed_tools = list(
-	/obj/item/weapon/scalpel/laser/manager = 100, \
-	/obj/item/weapon/hemostat = 100,	\
-	/obj/item/stack/cable_coil = 75, 	\
-	/obj/item/device/assembly/mousetrap = 20
-	)
-	var/obj/item/organ/external/L = null
-
-
-/datum/surgery_step/remove_object/begin_step(mob/user, mob/living/carbon/human/target, target_zone, obj/item/tool, datum/surgery/surgery)
-	L = target.get_organ(target_zone)
-	if(L)
-		user.visible_message("[user] looks for objects embedded in [target]'s [target_zone].", "<span class='notice'>You look for objects embedded in [target]'s [target_zone]...</span>")
-	else
-		user.visible_message("[user] looks for [target]'s [target_zone].", "<span class='notice'>You look for [target]'s [target_zone]...</span>")
-
-
-/datum/surgery_step/remove_object/end_step(mob/user, mob/living/carbon/human/target, target_zone, obj/item/tool, datum/surgery/surgery)
-	if(L)
-		if(ishuman(target))
-			var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = target
-			var/objects = 0
-			for(var/obj/item/I in L.implants)
-				if(!istype(I,/obj/item/weapon/implant))
-					objects++
-					I.forceMove(get_turf(H))
-					L.implants -= I
-
-					//Handle possessive brain borers.
-			if(H.has_brain_worms() && target_zone == "head")//remove worms outside the loop
-				var/mob/living/simple_animal/borer/worm = H.has_brain_worms()
-				if(worm.controlling)
-					target.release_control()
-				worm.detach()
-				worm.leave_host()
-				user.visible_message("a slug like creature wiggles out of [H]'s [target_zone]!")
-
-			if(objects > 0)
-				user.visible_message("[user] sucessfully removes [objects] objects from [H]'s [L.limb_name]!", "<span class='notice'>You sucessfully remove [objects] objects from [H]'s [L.limb_name].</span>")
-			else
-				to_chat(user, "<span class='warning'>You find no objects embedded in [H]'s [L.limb_name]!</span>")
-	else
-		to_chat(user, "<span class='warning'>You can't find [target]'s [target_zone], let alone any objects embedded in it!</span>")
-
-	return 1
+		return 1
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/code/modules/surgery/organs/organ_external.dm b/code/modules/surgery/organs/organ_external.dm
index 151636a9a50..ec184269051 100644
--- a/code/modules/surgery/organs/organ_external.dm
+++ b/code/modules/surgery/organs/organ_external.dm
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@
 	var/encased       // Needs to be opened with a saw to access the organs.
 
 	var/obj/item/hidden = null
-	var/list/implants = list()
+	var/list/embedded_objects = list()
 
 	// how often wounds should be updated, a higher number means less often
 	var/wound_update_accuracy = 1
@@ -104,7 +104,7 @@
 
 	QDEL_LIST(wounds)
 
-	QDEL_LIST(implants)
+	QDEL_LIST(embedded_objects)
 
 	QDEL_NULL(hidden)
 
@@ -358,12 +358,6 @@ This function completely restores a damaged organ to perfect condition.
 	for(var/obj/item/organ/external/EO in contents)
 		EO.rejuvenate()
 
-	// remove embedded objects and drop them on the floor
-	for(var/obj/implanted_object in implants)
-		if(!istype(implanted_object,/obj/item/weapon/implant))	// We don't want to remove REAL implants. Just shrapnel etc.
-			implanted_object.loc = owner.loc
-			implants -= implanted_object
-
 	owner.updatehealth()
 	update_icon()
 	if(!owner)
@@ -907,20 +901,6 @@ Note that amputating the affected organ does in fact remove the infection from t
 /obj/item/organ/external/proc/is_malfunctioning()
 	return ((status & ORGAN_ROBOT) && (brute_dam + burn_dam) >= 10 && prob(brute_dam + burn_dam))
 
-/obj/item/organ/external/proc/embed(var/obj/item/weapon/W, var/silent = 0)
-	if(!owner || loc != owner)
-		return
-	if(!silent)
-		owner.visible_message("<span class='danger'>\The [W] sticks in the wound!</span>")
-	implants += W
-	owner.embedded_flag = 1
-	owner.verbs += /mob/proc/yank_out_object
-	W.add_blood(owner)
-	if(ismob(W.loc))
-		var/mob/living/H = W.loc
-		H.drop_item()
-	W.loc = owner
-
 /obj/item/organ/external/proc/open_enough_for_surgery()
 	return (encased ? (open == 3) : (open == 2))
 
@@ -931,14 +911,17 @@ Note that amputating the affected organ does in fact remove the infection from t
 	var/is_robotic = status & ORGAN_ROBOT
 	var/mob/living/carbon/human/victim = owner
 
+	for(var/obj/item/I in embedded_objects)
+		embedded_objects -= I
+		I.forceMove(src)
+	if(!owner.has_embedded_objects())
+		owner.clear_alert("embeddedobject")
+
 	. = ..()
 
 	status |= ORGAN_DESTROYED
 	victim.bad_external_organs -= src
 
-	for(var/implant in implants) //todo: check if this can be left alone
-		qdel(implant)
-
 	// Attached organs also fly off.
 	if(!ignore_children)
 		for(var/obj/item/organ/external/O in children)
@@ -1018,3 +1001,22 @@ Note that amputating the affected organ does in fact remove the infection from t
 	..() // Parent call loads in the DNA
 	if(data["dna"])
 		sync_colour_to_dna()
+
+//Remove all embedded objects from all limbs on the carbon mob
+/mob/living/carbon/human/proc/remove_all_embedded_objects()
+	var/turf/T = get_turf(src)
+
+	for(var/X in bodyparts)
+		var/obj/item/organ/external/L = X
+		for(var/obj/item/I in L.embedded_objects)
+			L.embedded_objects -= I
+			I.forceMove(T)
+
+	clear_alert("embeddedobject")
+
+/mob/living/carbon/human/proc/has_embedded_objects()
+	. = 0
+	for(var/X in bodyparts)
+		var/obj/item/organ/external/L = X
+		for(var/obj/item/I in L.embedded_objects)
+			return 1
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/code/modules/surgery/remove_embedded_object.dm b/code/modules/surgery/remove_embedded_object.dm
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..468fe9f7654
--- /dev/null
+++ b/code/modules/surgery/remove_embedded_object.dm
@@ -0,0 +1,42 @@
+/datum/surgery/embedded_removal
+	name = "removal of embedded objects"
+	steps = list(/datum/surgery_step/generic/cut_open, /datum/surgery_step/generic/clamp_bleeders, /datum/surgery_step/generic/retract_skin, /datum/surgery_step/remove_object)
+	possible_locs = list("head", "chest", "l_arm", "l_hand", "r_arm", "r_hand","r_leg", "r_foot", "l_leg", "l_foot", "groin")
+
+
+/datum/surgery_step/remove_object
+	name = "remove embedded objects"
+	time = 32
+	accept_hand = 1
+	var/obj/item/organ/external/L = null
+
+
+/datum/surgery_step/remove_object/begin_step(mob/user, mob/living/carbon/target, target_zone, obj/item/tool, datum/surgery/surgery)
+	L = surgery.organ_ref
+	if(L)
+		user.visible_message("[user] looks for objects embedded in [target]'s [parse_zone(user.zone_sel.selecting)].", "<span class='notice'>You look for objects embedded in [target]'s [parse_zone(user.zone_sel.selecting)]...</span>")
+	else
+		user.visible_message("[user] looks for [target]'s [parse_zone(user.zone_sel.selecting)].", "<span class='notice'>You look for [target]'s [parse_zone(user.zone_sel.selecting)]...</span>")
+
+
+/datum/surgery_step/remove_object/end_step(mob/user, mob/living/carbon/target, target_zone, obj/item/tool, datum/surgery/surgery)
+	if(L)
+		if(ishuman(target))
+			var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = target
+			var/objects = 0
+			for(var/obj/item/I in L.embedded_objects)
+				objects++
+				I.forceMove(get_turf(H))
+				L.embedded_objects -= I
+			if(!H.has_embedded_objects())
+				H.clear_alert("embeddedobject")
+
+			if(objects > 0)
+				user.visible_message("[user] sucessfully removes [objects] objects from [H]'s [L]!", "<span class='notice'>You successfully remove [objects] objects from [H]'s [L.name].</span>")
+			else
+				to_chat(user, "<span class='warning'>You find no objects embedded in [H]'s [L]!</span>")
+
+	else
+		to_chat(user, "<span class='warning'>You can't find [target]'s [parse_zone(user.zone_sel.selecting)], let alone any objects embedded in it!</span>")
+
+	return 1
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/paradise.dme b/paradise.dme
index 869bffe601b..99e7a6f4913 100644
--- a/paradise.dme
+++ b/paradise.dme
@@ -2135,6 +2135,7 @@
 #include "code\modules\surgery\limb_reattach.dm"
 #include "code\modules\surgery\organs_internal.dm"
 #include "code\modules\surgery\other.dm"
+#include "code\modules\surgery\remove_embedded_object.dm"
 #include "code\modules\surgery\rig_removal.dm"
 #include "code\modules\surgery\robotics.dm"
 #include "code\modules\surgery\slime.dm"