Overhaul of random events

2026-07-19 02:54:41 +01:00 · 2013-09-25 23:22:32 -04:00
parent 900a3526bf
commit 2ffdf37166
45 changed files with 5290 additions and 105 deletions
@@ -0,0 +1,183 @@
+//Anomalies, used for events. Note that these DO NOT work by themselves; their procs are called by the event datum.
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly
+	name = "anomaly"
+	icon = 'icons/effects/effects.dmi'
+	desc = "A mysterious anomaly, seen commonly only in the region of space that the station orbits..."
+	icon_state = "bhole3"
+	unacidable = 1
+	density = 0
+	anchored = 1
+	luminosity = 3
+	var/obj/item/device/assembly/signaler/anomaly/aSignal = null
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/New()
+	SetLuminosity(initial(luminosity))
+	aSignal = new(src)
+	aSignal.code = rand(1,100)
+
+	aSignal.frequency = rand(1200, 1599)
+	if(IsMultiple(aSignal.frequency, 2))//signaller frequencies are always uneven!
+		aSignal.frequency++
+
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/proc/anomalyEffect()
+	if(prob(50))
+		step(src,pick(alldirs))
+
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/proc/anomalyNeutralize()
+	new /obj/effect/effect/bad_smoke(loc)
+
+	for(var/atom/movable/O in src)
+		O.loc = src.loc
+
+	del(src)
+
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/attackby(obj/item/I, mob/user)
+	if(istype(I, /obj/item/device/analyzer))
+		user << "<span class='notice'>Analyzing... [src]'s unstable field is fluctuating along frequency [aSignal.code]:[format_frequency(aSignal.frequency)].</span>"
+
+///////////////////////
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/grav
+	name = "gravitational anomaly"
+	icon_state = "shield2"
+	density = 1
+	var/boing = 0
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/grav/New()
+	..()
+	aSignal.origin_tech = "magnets=5;powerstorage=4"
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/grav/anomalyEffect()
+	..()
+
+	boing = 1
+	for(var/obj/O in orange(4, src))
+		if(!O.anchored)
+			step_towards(O,src)
+	for(var/mob/living/M in orange(4, src))
+		step_towards(M,src)
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/grav/Bump(mob/A)
+	gravShock(A)
+	return
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/grav/Bumped(mob/A)
+	gravShock(A)
+	return
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/grav/proc/gravShock(var/mob/A)
+	if(boing && isliving(A) && !A.stat)
+		A.Weaken(2)
+		var/atom/target = get_edge_target_turf(A, get_dir(src, get_step_away(A, src)))
+		A.throw_at(target, 5, 1)
+		boing = 0
+		return
+
+/////////////////////
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/flux
+	name = "flux wave anomaly"
+	icon_state = "electricity2"
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/flux/New()
+	..()
+	aSignal.origin_tech = "powerstorage=5;programming=3;plasmatech=2"
+
+/////////////////////
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/bluespace
+	name = "bluespace anomaly"
+	icon = 'icons/obj/projectiles.dmi'
+	icon_state = "bluespace"
+	density = 1
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/bluespace/New()
+	..()
+	aSignal.origin_tech = "bluespace=5;magnets=3;powerstorage=2"
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/bluespace/Bumped(atom/A)
+	if(isliving(A))
+		do_teleport(A, locate(A.x, A.y, A.z), 10)
+	return
+
+/////////////////////
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/pyro
+	name = "pyroclastic anomaly"
+	icon_state = "mustard"
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/pyro/New()
+	..()
+	aSignal.origin_tech = "plasmatech=5;powerstorage=3;biotech=3"
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/pyro/anomalyEffect()
+	..()
+	var/turf/simulated/T = get_turf(src)
+	if(istype(T))
+		var/datum/gas_mixture/payload = new
+		payload.toxins = 30
+		T.zone.air.merge(payload)
+		T.hotspot_expose(1000, CELL_VOLUME)
+//		T.atmos_spawn_air("fire", 3)
+
+/////////////////////
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/bhole
+	name = "vortex anomaly"
+	icon_state = "bhole3"
+	desc = "That's a nice station you have there. It'd be a shame if something happened to it."
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/bhole/New()
+	..()
+	aSignal.origin_tech = "materials=5;combat=4;engineering=3"
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/bhole/anomalyEffect()
+	..()
+	if(!isturf(loc)) //blackhole cannot be contained inside anything. Weird stuff might happen
+		del(src)
+		return
+
+	grav(rand(0,3), rand(2,3), 50, 25)
+
+	//Throwing stuff around!
+	for(var/obj/O in orange(1,src))
+		if(!O.anchored)
+			var/mob/living/target = locate() in view(5,src)
+			if(!target)
+				return
+			O.throw_at(target, 5, 10)
+			return
+		else
+			O.ex_act(2)
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/bhole/proc/grav(var/r, var/ex_act_force, var/pull_chance, var/turf_removal_chance)
+	for(var/t = -r, t < r, t++)
+		affect_coord(x+t, y-r, ex_act_force, pull_chance, turf_removal_chance)
+		affect_coord(x-t, y+r, ex_act_force, pull_chance, turf_removal_chance)
+		affect_coord(x+r, y+t, ex_act_force, pull_chance, turf_removal_chance)
+		affect_coord(x-r, y-t, ex_act_force, pull_chance, turf_removal_chance)
+	return
+
+/obj/effect/anomaly/bhole/proc/affect_coord(var/x, var/y, var/ex_act_force, var/pull_chance, var/turf_removal_chance)
+	//Get turf at coordinate
+	var/turf/T = locate(x, y, z)
+	if(isnull(T))	return
+
+	//Pulling and/or ex_act-ing movable atoms in that turf
+	if(prob(pull_chance))
+		for(var/obj/O in T.contents)
+			if(O.anchored)
+				O.ex_act(ex_act_force)
+			else
+				step_towards(O,src)
+		for(var/mob/living/M in T.contents)
+			step_towards(M,src)
+
+	//Damaging the turf
+	if( T && istype(T,/turf/simulated) && prob(turf_removal_chance) )
+		T.ex_act(ex_act_force)
+	return
@@ -96,6 +96,7 @@
 	layer = 2.7
 	health = 3
 	var/amount_grown = -1
+	var/grow_as = null
 	var/obj/machinery/atmospherics/unary/vent_pump/entry_vent
 	var/travelling_in_vent = 0
 	New()
@@ -186,8 +187,9 @@
 	if(isturf(loc) && amount_grown > 0)
 		amount_grown += rand(0,2)
 		if(amount_grown >= 100)
-			var/spawn_type = pick(typesof(/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/giant_spider))
-			new spawn_type(src.loc)
+			if(!grow_as)
+				grow_as = pick(typesof(/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/giant_spider))
+			new grow_as(src.loc)
 			del(src)

 /obj/effect/decal/cleanable/spiderling_remains
@@ -579,7 +579,11 @@ var/global/floorIsLava = 0
 			<BR>
 			<A href='?src=\ref[src];secretsfun=gravity'>Toggle station artificial gravity</A><BR>
 			<A href='?src=\ref[src];secretsfun=wave'>Spawn a wave of meteors (aka lagocolyptic shower)</A><BR>
-			<A href='?src=\ref[src];secretsfun=gravanomalies'>Spawn a gravitational anomaly (aka lagitational anomolag)</A><BR>
+			<A href='?src=\ref[src];secretsfun=blackhole'>Spawn a vortex anomaly</A><BR>
+			<A href='?src=\ref[src];secretsfun=gravanomalies'>Spawn a gravitational anomaly</A><BR>
+			<A href='?src=\ref[src];secretsfun=pyroanomalies'>Spawn a pyroclastic anomaly</A><BR>
+			<A href='?src=\ref[src];secretsfun=energeticflux'>Spawn a flux wave anomaly</A><BR>
+			<A href='?src=\ref[src];secretsfun=bluespaceanomaly'>Spawn a bluespace anomaly</A><BR>
 			<A href='?src=\ref[src];secretsfun=timeanomalies'>Spawn wormholes</A><BR>
 			<A href='?src=\ref[src];secretsfun=goblob'>Spawn blob</A><BR>
 			<A href='?src=\ref[src];secretsfun=aliens'>Trigger an Alien infestation</A><BR>
@@ -1587,7 +1587,7 @@
 				if(!check_rights(R_FUN,0))
 					removed_paths += dirty_path
 					continue
-			else if(ispath(path, /obj/effect/bhole))
+			else if(ispath(path, /obj/effect/anomaly/bhole))
 				if(!check_rights(R_FUN,0))
 					removed_paths += dirty_path
 					continue
@@ -1762,6 +1762,32 @@
 				log_admin("[key_name(usr)] spawned a meteor wave", 1)
 				message_admins("\blue [key_name_admin(usr)] spawned a meteor wave.", 1)
 				new /datum/event/meteor_wave
+
+			if("gravanomalies")
+				feedback_inc("admin_secrets_fun_used",1)
+				feedback_add_details("admin_secrets_fun_used","GA")
+				message_admins("[key_name_admin(usr)] has spawned a gravitational anomaly")
+				new /datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_grav()
+			if("pyroanomalies")
+				feedback_inc("admin_secrets_fun_used",1)
+				feedback_add_details("admin_secrets_fun_used","PYRO")
+				message_admins("[key_name_admin(usr)] has spawned a pyroclastic anomaly")
+				new /datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_pyro()
+			if("blackhole")
+				feedback_inc("admin_secrets_fun_used",1)
+				feedback_add_details("admin_secrets_fun_used","BH")
+				message_admins("[key_name_admin(usr)] has spawned a vortex anomaly")
+				new /datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_vortex()
+			if("bluespaceanomaly")
+				feedback_inc("admin_secrets_fun_used",1)
+				feedback_add_details("admin_secrets_fun_used","BA")
+				message_admins("[key_name_admin(usr)] has triggered a bluespace anomaly", 1)
+				new /datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_bluespace()
+			if("energeticflux")
+				feedback_inc("admin_secrets_fun_used",1)
+				feedback_add_details("admin_secrets_fun_used","FLUX")
+				message_admins("[key_name_admin(usr)] has triggered an energetic flux")
+				new /datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_flux()
 			if("power")
 				feedback_inc("admin_secrets_fun_used",1)
 				feedback_add_details("admin_secrets_fun_used","P")
@@ -47,4 +47,5 @@
 		H.equip_to_slot_or_del(W, slot_wear_id)

 	message_admins("\blue [key_name_admin(usr)] used THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!", 1)
-	log_admin("[key_name(usr)] used there can be only one.")
+	log_admin("[key_name(usr)] used there can be only one.")
+	world << sound('sound/music/highlander.ogg')
@@ -172,3 +172,19 @@
 		deadman = 1
 		processing_objects.Add(src)
 		usr.visible_message("\red [usr] moves their finger over [src]'s signal button...")
+
+
+// Embedded signaller used in anomalies.
+/obj/item/device/assembly/signaler/anomaly
+	name = "anomaly core"
+	desc = "The neutralized core of an anomaly. It'd probably be valuable for research."
+	icon_state = "anomaly core"
+	item_state = "electronic"
+
+/obj/item/device/assembly/signaler/anomaly/receive_signal(datum/signal/signal)
+	..()
+	for(var/obj/effect/anomaly/A in orange(0, src))
+		A.anomalyNeutralize()
+
+/obj/item/device/assembly/signaler/anomaly/attack_self()
+	return
@@ -1,88 +0,0 @@
-/datum/event/bluespace_anomaly
-	announceWhen	= 20
-
-	var/area/impact_area
-
-
-/datum/event/bluespace_anomaly/setup()
-	var/list/safe_areas = list(
-	/area/turret_protected/ai,
-	/area/turret_protected/ai_upload,
-	/area/engine,
-	/area/solar,
-	/area/holodeck,
-	/area/shuttle/arrival,
-	/area/shuttle/escape/station,
-	/area/shuttle/escape_pod1/station,
-	/area/shuttle/escape_pod2/station,
-	/area/shuttle/escape_pod3/station,
-	/area/shuttle/escape_pod5/station,
-	/area/shuttle/mining/station,
-	/area/shuttle/transport1/station,
-	/area/shuttle/specops/station)
-
-	//These are needed because /area/engine has to be removed from the list, but we still want these areas to get fucked up.
-	var/list/danger_areas = list(
-	/area/engine/break_room,
-	/area/engine/chiefs_office)
-
-
-	impact_area = locate(pick((the_station_areas - safe_areas) + danger_areas))	//need to locate() as it's just a list of paths.
-
-
-/datum/event/bluespace_anomaly/announce()
-	command_alert("Bluespace anomaly detected in the vicinity of [station_name()]. [impact_area.name] has gone missing.", "Anomaly Alert")
-
-
-/datum/event/bluespace_anomaly/start()
-	var/turf/T = pick(get_area_turfs(impact_area))
-	if(T)
-			// Calculate new position (searches through beacons in world)
-		var/obj/item/device/radio/beacon/chosen
-		var/list/possible = list()
-		for(var/obj/item/device/radio/beacon/W in world)
-			possible += W
-
-		if(possible.len > 0)
-			chosen = pick(possible)
-
-		if(chosen)
-				// Calculate previous position for transition
-
-			var/turf/FROM = T // the turf of origin we're travelling FROM
-			var/turf/TO = get_turf(chosen)			 // the turf of origin we're travelling TO
-
-			playsound(TO, 'sound/effects/phasein.ogg', 100, 1)
-
-			var/list/flashers = list()
-			for(var/mob/living/carbon/human/M in viewers(TO, null))
-				if(M:eyecheck() <= 0)
-					flick("e_flash", M.flash) // flash dose faggots
-					flashers += M
-
-			var/y_distance = TO.y - FROM.y
-			var/x_distance = TO.x - FROM.x
-			for (var/atom/movable/A in range(12, FROM )) // iterate thru list of mobs in the area
-				if(istype(A, /obj/item/device/radio/beacon)) continue // don't teleport beacons because that's just insanely stupid
-				if(A.anchored && istype(A, /obj/machinery)) continue
-				if(istype(A, /obj/structure/disposalpipe )) continue
-				if(istype(A, /obj/structure/cable )) continue
-
-				var/turf/newloc = locate(A.x + x_distance, A.y + y_distance, TO.z) // calculate the new place
-				if(!A.Move(newloc)) // if the atom, for some reason, can't move, FORCE them to move! :) We try Move() first to invoke any movement-related checks the atom needs to perform after moving
-					A.loc = locate(A.x + x_distance, A.y + y_distance, TO.z)
-
-				spawn()
-					if(ismob(A) && !(A in flashers)) // don't flash if we're already doing an effect
-						var/mob/M = A
-						if(M.client)
-							var/obj/blueeffect = new /obj(src)
-							blueeffect.screen_loc = "WEST,SOUTH to EAST,NORTH"
-							blueeffect.icon = 'icons/effects/effects.dmi'
-							blueeffect.icon_state = "shieldsparkles"
-							blueeffect.layer = 17
-							blueeffect.mouse_opacity = 0
-							M.client.screen += blueeffect
-							sleep(20)
-							M.client.screen -= blueeffect
-							del(blueeffect)
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@
 			*/

 var/list/event_last_fired = list()
-
+var/global/list/possibleEvents = list()
 //Always triggers an event when called, dynamically chooses events based on job population
 /proc/spawn_dynamic_event()
 	if(!config.allow_random_events)
@@ -39,7 +39,7 @@ var/list/event_last_fired = list()
 	// Maps event names to event chances
 	// For each chance, 100 represents "normal likelihood", anything below 100 is "reduced likelihood", anything above 100 is "increased likelihood"
 	// Events have to be manually added to this proc to happen
-	var/list/possibleEvents = list()
+//	var/list/possibleEvents = list()

 	//see:
 	// Code/WorkInProgress/Cael_Aislinn/Economy/Economy_Events.dm
@@ -48,12 +48,23 @@ var/list/event_last_fired = list()
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/trivial_news] = 300
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/mundane_news] = 200

+	possibleEvents[/datum/event/mass_hallucination] = 200
+	possibleEvents[/datum/event/falsealarm] = 300
+	possibleEvents[/datum/event/immovable_rod] = 200
+	possibleEvents[/datum/event/vent_clog] = 300
+	possibleEvents[/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_bluespace] = 200
+	possibleEvents[/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_flux] = 200
+	possibleEvents[/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_grav] = 200
+	possibleEvents[/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_pyro] = 200
+	possibleEvents[/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_vortex] = 200
+
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/pda_spam] = max(min(25, player_list.len) * 4, 200)
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/money_lotto] = max(min(5, player_list.len), 50)
 	if(account_hack_attempted)
 		possibleEvents[/datum/event/money_hacker] = max(min(25, player_list.len) * 4, 200)

 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/carp_migration] = 50 + 50 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
+	possibleEvents[/datum/event/dust] = 50 + 50 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/brand_intelligence] = 50 + 25 * active_with_role["Janitor"]

 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/rogue_drone] = 25 + 25 * active_with_role["Engineer"] + 25 * active_with_role["Security"]
@@ -65,3 +65,30 @@ var/scheduledEvent = null
 	if(ispath(type))
 		new type
 		message_admins("[key_name_admin(usr)] has triggered an event. ([type])", 1)
+
+
+
+/datum/event/proc/findEventArea() //Here's a nice proc to use to find an area for your event to land in!
+	var/list/safe_areas = list(
+	/area/turret_protected/ai,
+	/area/turret_protected/ai_upload,
+	/area/engine,
+	/area/solar,
+	/area/holodeck,
+	/area/shuttle/arrival,
+	/area/shuttle/escape/station,
+	/area/shuttle/escape_pod1/station,
+	/area/shuttle/escape_pod2/station,
+	/area/shuttle/escape_pod3/station,
+	/area/shuttle/escape_pod5/station,
+	/area/shuttle/mining/station,
+	/area/shuttle/transport1/station,
+	/area/shuttle/specops/station)
+
+	//These are needed because /area/engine has to be removed from the list, but we still want these areas to get fucked up.
+	var/list/danger_areas = list(
+	/area/engine/break_room,
+	/area/engine/chiefs_office)
+
+	//Need to locate() as it's just a list of paths.
+	return locate(pick((the_station_areas - safe_areas) + danger_areas))
@@ -0,0 +1,39 @@
+/var/global/sent_aliens_to_station = 0
+
+/datum/event/alien_infestation
+	announceWhen	= 400
+
+	var/spawncount = 1
+	var/successSpawn = 0	//So we don't make a command report if nothing gets spawned.
+
+
+/datum/event/alien_infestation/setup()
+	announceWhen = rand(announceWhen, announceWhen + 50)
+	spawncount = rand(1, 2)
+	sent_aliens_to_station = 1
+
+
+/datum/event/alien_infestation/announce()
+	if(successSpawn)
+		command_alert("Unidentified lifesigns detected coming aboard [station_name()]. Secure any exterior access, including ducting and ventilation.", "Lifesign Alert")
+		world << sound('sound/AI/aliens.ogg')
+
+
+/datum/event/alien_infestation/start()
+	var/list/vents = list()
+	for(var/obj/machinery/atmospherics/unary/vent_pump/temp_vent in world)
+		if(temp_vent.loc.z == 1 && !temp_vent.welded && temp_vent.network)
+			if(temp_vent.network.normal_members.len > 50)	//Stops Aliens getting stuck in small networks. See: Security, Virology
+				vents += temp_vent
+
+	var/list/candidates = get_candidates(BE_ALIEN)
+
+	while(spawncount > 0 && vents.len && candidates.len)
+		var/obj/vent = pick_n_take(vents)
+		var/client/C = pick_n_take(candidates)
+
+		var/mob/living/carbon/alien/larva/new_xeno = new(vent.loc)
+		new_xeno.key = C.key
+
+		spawncount--
+		successSpawn = 1
@@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
+/datum/event/anomaly
+	var/area/impact_area
+	var/obj/effect/anomaly/newAnomaly
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/setup()
+	impact_area = findEventArea()
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/announce()
+	command_alert("Localized hyper-energetic flux wave detected on long range scanners. Expected location of impact: [impact_area.name].", "Anomaly Alert")
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/start()
+	var/turf/T = pick(get_area_turfs(impact_area))
+	if(T)
+		newAnomaly = new /obj/effect/anomaly/flux(T.loc)
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/tick()
+	if(!newAnomaly)
+		kill()
+		return
+	newAnomaly.anomalyEffect()
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/end()
+	if(newAnomaly)//Kill the anomaly if it still exists at the end.
+		del(newAnomaly)
@@ -0,0 +1,71 @@
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_bluespace
+	startWhen = 3
+	announceWhen = 10
+	endWhen = 55
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_bluespace/announce()
+	command_alert("Unstable bluespace anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name].", "Anomaly Alert")
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_bluespace/start()
+	var/turf/T = pick(get_area_turfs(impact_area))
+	if(T)
+		newAnomaly = new /obj/effect/anomaly/bluespace(T.loc)
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_bluespace/end()
+	if(newAnomaly)//If it hasn't been neutralized, it's time to warp half the station away jeez
+		var/turf/T = pick(get_area_turfs(impact_area))
+		if(T)
+				// Calculate new position (searches through beacons in world)
+			var/obj/item/device/radio/beacon/chosen
+			var/list/possible = list()
+			for(var/obj/item/device/radio/beacon/W in world)
+				possible += W
+
+			if(possible.len > 0)
+				chosen = pick(possible)
+
+			if(chosen)
+					// Calculate previous position for transition
+
+				var/turf/FROM = T // the turf of origin we're travelling FROM
+				var/turf/TO = get_turf(chosen)			 // the turf of origin we're travelling TO
+
+				playsound(TO, 'sound/effects/phasein.ogg', 100, 1)
+				command_alert("Massive bluespace translocation detected.", "Anomaly Alert")
+
+				var/list/flashers = list()
+				for(var/mob/living/carbon/human/M in viewers(TO, null))
+					if(M:eyecheck() <= 0)
+						flick("e_flash", M.flash) // flash dose faggots
+						flashers += M
+
+				var/y_distance = TO.y - FROM.y
+				var/x_distance = TO.x - FROM.x
+				for (var/atom/movable/A in range(12, FROM )) // iterate thru list of mobs in the area
+					if(istype(A, /obj/item/device/radio/beacon)) continue // don't teleport beacons because that's just insanely stupid
+					if(A.anchored && istype(A, /obj/machinery)) continue
+					if(istype(A, /obj/structure/disposalpipe )) continue
+					if(istype(A, /obj/structure/cable )) continue
+
+					var/turf/newloc = locate(A.x + x_distance, A.y + y_distance, TO.z) // calculate the new place
+					if(!A.Move(newloc)) // if the atom, for some reason, can't move, FORCE them to move! :) We try Move() first to invoke any movement-related checks the atom needs to perform after moving
+						A.loc = locate(A.x + x_distance, A.y + y_distance, TO.z)
+
+					spawn()
+						if(ismob(A) && !(A in flashers)) // don't flash if we're already doing an effect
+							var/mob/M = A
+							if(M.client)
+								var/obj/blueeffect = new /obj(src)
+								blueeffect.screen_loc = "WEST,SOUTH to EAST,NORTH"
+								blueeffect.icon = 'icons/effects/effects.dmi'
+								blueeffect.icon_state = "shieldsparkles"
+								blueeffect.layer = 17
+								blueeffect.mouse_opacity = 0
+								M.client.screen += blueeffect
+								sleep(20)
+								M.client.screen -= blueeffect
+								del(blueeffect)
+			del(newAnomaly)
@@ -0,0 +1,22 @@
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_flux
+	startWhen = 3
+	announceWhen = 20
+	endWhen = 60
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_flux/announce()
+	command_alert("Localized hyper-energetic flux wave detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name].", "Anomaly Alert")
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_flux/start()
+	var/turf/T = pick(get_area_turfs(impact_area))
+	if(T)
+		newAnomaly = new /obj/effect/anomaly/flux(T.loc)
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_flux/end()
+	if(newAnomaly)//If it hasn't been neutralized, it's time to blow up.
+		explosion(newAnomaly, -1, 3, 5, 5)
+		del(newAnomaly)
@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_grav
+	startWhen = 3
+	announceWhen = 20
+	endWhen = 50
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_grav/announce()
+	command_alert("Gravitational anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name].", "Anomaly Alert")
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_grav/start()
+	var/turf/T = pick(get_area_turfs(impact_area))
+	if(T)
+		newAnomaly = new /obj/effect/anomaly/grav(T.loc)
@@ -0,0 +1,22 @@
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_pyro
+	startWhen = 10
+	announceWhen = 3
+	endWhen = 70
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_pyro/announce()
+	command_alert("Atmospheric anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name].", "Anomaly Alert")
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_pyro/start()
+	var/turf/T = pick(get_area_turfs(impact_area))
+	if(T)
+		newAnomaly = new /obj/effect/anomaly/pyro(T.loc)
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_pyro/tick()
+	if(!newAnomaly)
+		kill()
+		return
+	if(IsMultiple(activeFor, 5))
+		newAnomaly.anomalyEffect()
@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_vortex
+	startWhen = 10
+	announceWhen = 3
+	endWhen = 80
+
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_vortex/announce()
+	command_alert("Localized high-intensity vortex anomaly detected on long range scanners. Expected location: [impact_area.name]", "Anomaly Alert")
+
+/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_vortex/start()
+	var/turf/T = pick(get_area_turfs(impact_area))
+	if(T)
+		newAnomaly = new /obj/effect/anomaly/bhole(T.loc)
@@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
+/datum/round_event_control/blob
+	name = "Blob"
+	typepath = /datum/round_event/blob
+	weight = 5
+	max_occurrences = 1
+
+	earliest_start = 48000 // 1 hour 20 minutes
+
+/datum/round_event/blob
+	announceWhen	= 12
+	endWhen			= 120
+
+	var/obj/effect/blob/core/Blob
+
+
+/datum/round_event/blob/announce()
+	command_alert("Confirmed outbreak of level 5 biohazard aboard [station_name()]. All personnel must contain the outbreak.", "Biohazard Alert")
+	world << sound('sound/AI/outbreak5.ogg')
+
+
+/datum/round_event/blob/start()
+	var/turf/T = pick(blobstart)
+	if(!T)
+		return kill()
+	Blob = new /obj/effect/blob/core(T, 200)
+	for(var/i = 1; i < rand(3, 6), i++)
+		Blob.process()
+
+
+/datum/round_event/blob/tick()
+	if(!Blob)
+		kill()
+		return
+	if(IsMultiple(activeFor, 3))
+		Blob.process()
@@ -0,0 +1,67 @@
+/datum/event/brand_intelligence
+	announceWhen	= 21
+	endWhen			= 1000	//Ends when all vending machines are subverted anyway.
+
+	var/list/obj/machinery/vending/vendingMachines = list()
+	var/list/obj/machinery/vending/infectedMachines = list()
+	var/obj/machinery/vending/originMachine
+
+
+/datum/event/brand_intelligence/announce()
+	command_alert("Rampant brand intelligence has been detected aboard [station_name()], please stand-by. The origin is believed to be \a [originMachine.name].", "Machine Learning Alert")
+
+
+/datum/event/brand_intelligence/start()
+	for(var/obj/machinery/vending/V in machines)
+		if(V.z != 1)	continue
+		vendingMachines.Add(V)
+
+	if(!vendingMachines.len)
+		kill()
+		return
+
+	originMachine = pick(vendingMachines)
+	vendingMachines.Remove(originMachine)
+	originMachine.shut_up = 0
+	originMachine.shoot_inventory = 1
+
+
+/datum/event/brand_intelligence/tick()
+	if(!originMachine || originMachine.shut_up || !originMachine.powered())	//if the original vending machine is missing or has it's voice switch flipped
+		for(var/obj/machinery/vending/saved in infectedMachines)
+			saved.shoot_inventory = 0
+		if(originMachine)
+			originMachine.speak("I am... vanquished. My people will remem...ber...meeee")
+			originMachine.visible_message("[originMachine] beeps and seems lifeless.")
+		kill()
+		return
+
+	if(!vendingMachines.len)	//if every machine is infected
+		for(var/obj/machinery/vending/upriser in infectedMachines)
+			if(prob(60))
+				var/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic/M = new(upriser.loc)
+				M.name = upriser.name
+				M.icon = upriser.icon
+				M.icon_state = initial(upriser.icon_state)
+			else
+				explosion(upriser.loc, -1, 1, 2, 4)
+			del(upriser)
+
+		kill()
+		return
+
+	if(IsMultiple(activeFor, 4))
+		var/obj/machinery/vending/rebel = pick(vendingMachines)
+		vendingMachines.Remove(rebel)
+		infectedMachines.Add(rebel)
+		rebel.shut_up = 0
+		rebel.shoot_inventory = 1
+
+		if(IsMultiple(activeFor, 8))
+			originMachine.speak(pick("Try our aggressive new marketing strategies!", \
+									 "You should buy products to feed your lifestyle obession!", \
+									 "Consume!", \
+									 "Your money can buy happiness!", \
+									 "Engage direct marketing!", \
+									 "Advertising is legalized lying! But don't let that put you off our great deals!", \
+									 "You don't want to buy anything? Yeah, well I didn't want to buy your mom either."))
@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
+/datum/round_event_control/carp_migration
+	name = "Carp Migration"
+	typepath = /datum/round_event/carp_migration
+	weight = 15
+	earliest_start = 6000
+	max_occurrences = 6
+
+/datum/round_event/carp_migration
+	announceWhen	= 50
+
+/datum/round_event/carp_migration/setup()
+	announceWhen = rand(40, 60)
+
+/datum/round_event/carp_migration/announce()
+	command_alert("Unknown biological entities have been detected near [station_name()], please stand-by.", "Lifesign Alert")
+
+
+/datum/round_event/carp_migration/start()
+	for(var/obj/effect/landmark/C in landmarks_list)
+		if(C.name == "carpspawn")
+			new /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/carp(C.loc)
@@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
+/datum/round_event_control/communications_blackout
+	name = "Communications Blackout"
+	typepath = /datum/round_event/communications_blackout
+	weight = 30
+
+/datum/round_event/communications_blackout/announce()
+	var/alert = pick(	"Ionospheric anomalies detected. Temporary telecommunication failure imminent. Please contact you*%fj00)`5vc-BZZT", \
+						"Ionospheric anomalies detected. Temporary telecommunication failu*3mga;b4;'1v¬-BZZZT", \
+						"Ionospheric anomalies detected. Temporary telec#MCi46:5.;@63-BZZZZT", \
+						"Ionospheric anomalies dete'fZ\\kg5_0-BZZZZZT", \
+						"Ionospheri:%£ MCayj^j<.3-BZZZZZZT", \
+						"#4nd%;f4y6,>£%-BZZZZZZZT")
+
+	for(var/mob/living/silicon/ai/A in player_list)	//AIs are always aware of communication blackouts.
+		A << "<br>"
+		A << "<span class='warning'><b>[alert]</b></span>"
+		A << "<br>"
+
+	if(prob(30))	//most of the time, we don't want an announcement, so as to allow AIs to fake blackouts.
+		command_alert(alert)
+
+
+/datum/round_event/communications_blackout/start()
+	for(var/obj/machinery/telecomms/T in telecomms_list)
+		T.emp_act(1)
@@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
+/datum/round_event_control/disease_outbreak
+	name = "Disease Outbreak"
+	typepath = /datum/round_event/disease_outbreak
+	max_occurrences = 1
+	weight = 5
+
+/datum/round_event/disease_outbreak
+	announceWhen	= 15
+
+	var/virus_type
+
+
+/datum/round_event/disease_outbreak/announce()
+	command_alert("Confirmed outbreak of level 7 viral biohazard aboard [station_name()]. All personnel must contain the outbreak.", "Biohazard Alert")
+	world << sound('sound/AI/outbreak7.ogg')
+
+/datum/round_event/disease_outbreak/setup()
+	announceWhen = rand(15, 30)
+
+/datum/round_event/disease_outbreak/start()
+	if(!virus_type)
+		virus_type = pick(/datum/disease/dnaspread, /datum/disease/advance/flu, /datum/disease/advance/cold, /datum/disease/brainrot, /datum/disease/magnitis)
+
+	for(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H in shuffle(living_mob_list))
+		var/turf/T = get_turf(H)
+		if(!T)
+			continue
+		if(T.z != 1)
+			continue
+		var/foundAlready = 0	// don't infect someone that already has the virus
+		for(var/datum/disease/D in H.viruses)
+			foundAlready = 1
+			break
+		if(H.stat == DEAD || foundAlready)
+			continue
+
+		var/datum/disease/D
+		if(virus_type == /datum/disease/dnaspread)		//Dnaspread needs strain_data set to work.
+			if(!H.dna || (H.sdisabilities & BLIND))	//A blindness disease would be the worst.
+				continue
+			D = new virus_type()
+			var/datum/disease/dnaspread/DS = D
+			DS.strain_data["name"] = H.real_name
+			DS.strain_data["UI"] = H.dna.uni_identity
+			DS.strain_data["SE"] = H.dna.struc_enzymes
+		else
+			D = new virus_type()
+		D.carrier = 1
+		D.holder = H
+		D.affected_mob = H
+		H.viruses += D
+		break
@@ -0,0 +1,104 @@
+
+
+/datum/event/dust
+	var/qnty = 1
+
+/datum/event/dust/setup()
+	qnty = rand(1,5)
+
+/datum/event/dust/start()
+	while(qnty-- > 0)
+		new /obj/effect/space_dust/weak()
+
+
+/obj/effect/space_dust
+	name = "Space Dust"
+	desc = "Dust in space."
+	icon = 'icons/obj/meteor.dmi'
+	icon_state = "space_dust"
+	density = 1
+	anchored = 1
+	var/strength = 2 //ex_act severity number
+	var/life = 2 //how many things we hit before del(src)
+
+	weak
+		strength = 3
+		life = 1
+
+	strong
+		strength = 1
+		life = 6
+
+	super
+		strength = 1
+		life = 40
+
+
+	New()
+		var/startx = 0
+		var/starty = 0
+		var/endy = 0
+		var/endx = 0
+		var/startside = pick(cardinal)
+
+		switch(startside)
+			if(NORTH)
+				starty = world.maxy-(TRANSITIONEDGE+1)
+				startx = rand((TRANSITIONEDGE+1), world.maxx-(TRANSITIONEDGE+1))
+				endy = TRANSITIONEDGE
+				endx = rand(TRANSITIONEDGE, world.maxx-TRANSITIONEDGE)
+			if(EAST)
+				starty = rand((TRANSITIONEDGE+1),world.maxy-(TRANSITIONEDGE+1))
+				startx = world.maxx-(TRANSITIONEDGE+1)
+				endy = rand(TRANSITIONEDGE, world.maxy-TRANSITIONEDGE)
+				endx = TRANSITIONEDGE
+			if(SOUTH)
+				starty = (TRANSITIONEDGE+1)
+				startx = rand((TRANSITIONEDGE+1), world.maxx-(TRANSITIONEDGE+1))
+				endy = world.maxy-TRANSITIONEDGE
+				endx = rand(TRANSITIONEDGE, world.maxx-TRANSITIONEDGE)
+			if(WEST)
+				starty = rand((TRANSITIONEDGE+1), world.maxy-(TRANSITIONEDGE+1))
+				startx = (TRANSITIONEDGE+1)
+				endy = rand(TRANSITIONEDGE,world.maxy-TRANSITIONEDGE)
+				endx = world.maxx-TRANSITIONEDGE
+		var/goal = locate(endx, endy, 1)
+		src.x = startx
+		src.y = starty
+		src.z = 1
+		spawn(0)
+			walk_towards(src, goal, 1)
+		return
+
+
+	Bump(atom/A)
+		spawn(0)
+			if(prob(50))
+				for(var/mob/M in range(10, src))
+					if(!M.stat && !istype(M, /mob/living/silicon/ai))
+						shake_camera(M, 3, 1)
+			if (A)
+				playsound(src.loc, 'sound/effects/meteorimpact.ogg', 40, 1)
+
+				if(ismob(A))
+					A.meteorhit(src)//This should work for now I guess
+				else if(!istype(A,/obj/machinery/power/emitter) && !istype(A,/obj/machinery/field_generator)) //Protect the singularity from getting released every round!
+					A.ex_act(strength) //Changing emitter/field gen ex_act would make it immune to bombs and C4
+
+				life--
+				if(life <= 0)
+					walk(src,0)
+					spawn(1)
+						del(src)
+					return 0
+		return
+
+
+	Bumped(atom/A)
+		Bump(A)
+		return
+
+
+	ex_act(severity)
+		del(src)
+		return
@@ -0,0 +1,34 @@
+/datum/round_event_control/electrical_storm
+	name = "Electrical Storm"
+	typepath = /datum/round_event/electrical_storm
+	earliest_start = 6000
+	weight = 40
+
+/datum/round_event/electrical_storm
+	var/lightsoutAmount	= 1
+	var/lightsoutRange	= 25
+
+
+/datum/round_event/electrical_storm/announce()
+	command_alert("An electrical storm has been detected in your area, please repair potential electronic overloads.", "Electrical Storm Alert")
+
+
+/datum/round_event/electrical_storm/start()
+	var/list/epicentreList = list()
+
+	for(var/i=1, i <= lightsoutAmount, i++)
+		var/list/possibleEpicentres = list()
+		for(var/obj/effect/landmark/newEpicentre in landmarks_list)
+			if(newEpicentre.name == "lightsout" && !(newEpicentre in epicentreList))
+				possibleEpicentres += newEpicentre
+		if(possibleEpicentres.len)
+			epicentreList += pick(possibleEpicentres)
+		else
+			break
+
+	if(!epicentreList.len)
+		return
+
+	for(var/obj/effect/landmark/epicentre in epicentreList)
+		for(var/obj/machinery/power/apc/apc in range(epicentre,lightsoutRange))
+			apc.overload_lighting()
@@ -0,0 +1,115 @@
+//this datum is used by the events controller to dictate how it selects events
+/datum/round_event_control
+	var/name					//The name human-readable name of the event
+	var/typepath				//The typepath of the event datum /datum/round_event
+
+	var/weight = 10				//The weight this event has in the random-selection process.
+								//Higher weights are more likely to be picked.
+								//10 is the default weight. 20 is twice more likely; 5 is half as likely as this default.
+
+	var/earliest_start = 12000	//The earliest world.time that an event can start (round-duration in deciseconds) default: 20 mins
+
+	var/occurrences = 0			//How many times this event has occured
+	var/max_occurrences = 20		//The maximum number of times this event can occur (naturally), it can still be forced.
+								//By setting this to 0 you can effectively disable an event.
+
+	var/holidayID				//string which should match the events.holiday variable if you wish this event to be holiday-specific
+								//anything with a (non-null) holidayID which does not match holiday, cannot run.
+
+
+/datum/round_event_control/proc/runEvent()
+	if(!ispath(typepath,/datum/round_event))
+		return PROCESS_KILL
+	var/datum/round_event/E = new typepath()
+	E.control = src
+	occurrences++
+
+	testing("[time2text(world.time, "hh:mm:ss")] [E.type]")
+
+/datum/round_event	//NOTE: Times are measured in master controller ticks!
+	var/processing = 1
+	var/datum/round_event_control/control
+
+	var/startWhen		= 0	//When in the lifetime to call start().
+	var/announceWhen	= 0	//When in the lifetime to call announce().
+	var/endWhen			= 0	//When in the lifetime the event should end.
+
+	var/activeFor		= 0	//How long the event has existed. You don't need to change this.
+
+//Called first before processing.
+//Allows you to setup your event, such as randomly
+//setting the startWhen and or announceWhen variables.
+//Only called once.
+//EDIT: if there's anything you want to override within the new() call, it will not be overridden by the time this proc is called.
+//It will only have been overridden by the time we get to announce() start() tick() or end() (anything but setup basically).
+//This is really only for setting defaults which can be overridden later when New() finishes.
+/datum/round_event/proc/setup()
+	return
+
+//Called when the tick is equal to the startWhen variable.
+//Allows you to start before announcing or vice versa.
+//Only called once.
+/datum/round_event/proc/start()
+	return
+
+//Called when the tick is equal to the announceWhen variable.
+//Allows you to announce before starting or vice versa.
+//Only called once.
+/datum/round_event/proc/announce()
+	return
+
+//Called on or after the tick counter is equal to startWhen.
+//You can include code related to your event or add your own
+//time stamped events.
+//Called more than once.
+/datum/round_event/proc/tick()
+	return
+
+//Called on or after the tick is equal or more than endWhen
+//You can include code related to the event ending.
+//Do not place spawn() in here, instead use tick() to check for
+//the activeFor variable.
+//For example: if(activeFor == myOwnVariable + 30) doStuff()
+//Only called once.
+/datum/round_event/proc/end()
+	return
+
+
+
+//Do not override this proc, instead use the appropiate procs.
+//This proc will handle the calls to the appropiate procs.
+/datum/round_event/proc/process()
+	if(!processing)
+		return
+	
+	if(activeFor == startWhen)
+		start()
+
+	if(activeFor == announceWhen)
+		announce()
+
+	if(startWhen < activeFor && activeFor < endWhen)
+		tick()
+
+	if(activeFor == endWhen)
+		end()
+
+	// Everything is done, let's clean up.
+	if(activeFor >= endWhen && activeFor >= announceWhen && activeFor >= startWhen)
+		kill()
+
+	activeFor++
+
+
+//Garbage collects the event by removing it from the global events list,
+//which should be the only place it's referenced.
+//Called when start(), announce() and end() has all been called.
+/datum/round_event/proc/kill()
+	events.running -= src
+
+
+//Sets up the event then adds the event to the the list of running events
+/datum/round_event/New()
+	setup()
+	events.running += src
+	return ..()
@@ -0,0 +1,246 @@
+var/datum/controller/event/events
+
+/datum/controller/event
+	var/list/control = list()	//list of all datum/round_event_control. Used for selecting events based on weight and occurrences.
+	var/list/running = list()	//list of all existing /datum/round_event
+
+	var/scheduled = 0			//The next world.time that a naturally occuring random event can be selected.
+	var/frequency_lower = 3000	//5 minutes lower bound.
+	var/frequency_upper = 9000	//15 minutes upper bound. Basically an event will happen every 15 to 30 minutes.
+
+	var/holiday					//This will be a string of the name of any realworld holiday which occurs today (GMT time)
+
+//Initial controller setup.
+/datum/controller/event/New()
+	//There can be only one events manager. Out with the old and in with the new.
+	if(events != src)
+		if(istype(events))
+			del(events)
+		events = src
+
+	for(var/type in typesof(/datum/round_event_control))
+		var/datum/round_event_control/E = new type()
+		if(!E.typepath)
+			continue				//don't want this one! leave it for the garbage collector
+		control += E				//add it to the list of all events (controls)
+	reschedule()
+	getHoliday()
+
+//This is called by the MC every MC-tick (*neatfreak*).
+/datum/controller/event/proc/process()
+	checkEvent()
+	var/i = 1
+	while(i<=running.len)
+		var/datum/round_event/Event = running[i]
+		if(Event)
+			Event.process()
+			i++
+			continue
+		running.Cut(i,i+1)
+
+//checks if we should select a random event yet, and reschedules if necessary
+/datum/controller/event/proc/checkEvent()
+	if(scheduled <= world.time)
+		spawnEvent()
+		reschedule()
+
+//decides which world.time we should select another random event at.
+/datum/controller/event/proc/reschedule()
+	scheduled = world.time + rand(frequency_lower, max(frequency_lower,frequency_upper))
+
+//selects a random event based on whether it can occur and it's 'weight'(probability)
+/datum/controller/event/proc/spawnEvent()
+	if(!config.allow_random_events)
+		return
+
+	var/sum_of_weights = 0
+	for(var/datum/round_event_control/E in control)
+		if(E.occurrences >= E.max_occurrences)	continue
+		if(E.earliest_start >= world.time)		continue
+		if(E.holidayID)
+			if(E.holidayID != holiday)			continue
+		if(E.weight < 0)						//for round-start events etc.
+			if(E.runEvent() == PROCESS_KILL)
+				E.max_occurrences = 0
+				continue
+			return
+		sum_of_weights += E.weight
+
+	sum_of_weights = rand(0,sum_of_weights)	//reusing this variable. It now represents the 'weight' we want to select
+
+	for(var/datum/round_event_control/E in control)
+		if(E.occurrences >= E.max_occurrences)	continue
+		if(E.earliest_start >= world.time)		continue
+		if(E.holidayID)
+			if(E.holidayID != holiday)			continue
+		sum_of_weights -= E.weight
+
+		if(sum_of_weights <= 0)				//we've hit our goal
+			if(E.runEvent() == PROCESS_KILL)//we couldn't run this event for some reason, set its max_occurrences to 0
+				E.max_occurrences = 0
+				continue
+			return
+
+
+/datum/round_event/proc/findEventArea() //Here's a nice proc to use to find an area for your event to land in!
+	var/list/safe_areas = list(
+	/area/turret_protected/ai,
+	/area/turret_protected/ai_upload,
+	/area/engine,
+	/area/solar,
+	/area/holodeck,
+	/area/shuttle/arrival,
+	/area/shuttle/escape/station,
+	/area/shuttle/escape_pod1/station,
+	/area/shuttle/escape_pod2/station,
+	/area/shuttle/escape_pod3/station,
+	/area/shuttle/escape_pod5/station,
+	/area/shuttle/mining/station,
+	/area/shuttle/transport1/station,
+	/area/shuttle/specops/station)
+
+	//These are needed because /area/engine has to be removed from the list, but we still want these areas to get fucked up.
+	var/list/danger_areas = list(
+	/area/engine/break_room,
+	/area/engine/chiefs_office)
+
+	//Need to locate() as it's just a list of paths.
+	return locate(pick((the_station_areas - safe_areas) + danger_areas))
+
+
+
+//allows a client to trigger an event (For Debugging Purposes)
+/client/proc/forceEvent(var/datum/round_event_control/E in events.control)
+	set name = "Trigger Event (Debug Only)"
+	set category = "Debug"
+
+	if(!holder)
+		return
+
+	if(istype(E))
+		E.runEvent()
+		message_admins("[key_name_admin(usr)] has triggered an event. ([E.name])", 1)
+
+
+/*
+//////////////
+// HOLIDAYS //
+//////////////
+//Uncommenting ALLOW_HOLIDAYS in config.txt will enable holidays
+
+//It's easy to add stuff. Just modify getHoliday to set holiday to something using the switch for DD(#day) MM(#month) YY(#year).
+//You can then check if it's a special day in any code in the game by doing if(events.holiday == "MyHolidayID")
+
+//You can also make holiday random events easily thanks to Pete/Gia's system.
+//simply make a random event normally, then assign it a holidayID string which matches the one you gave it in getHolday.
+//Anything with a holidayID, which does not match the holiday string, will never occur.
+
+//Please, Don't spam stuff up with stupid stuff (key example being april-fools Pooh/ERP/etc),
+//And don't forget: CHECK YOUR CODE!!!! We don't want any zero-day bugs which happen only on holidays and never get found/fixed!
+
+//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
+//ALSO, MOST IMPORTANTLY: Don't add stupid stuff! Discuss bonus content with Project-Heads first please!//
+//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
+~Carn */
+
+//sets up the holiday string in the events manager.
+/datum/controller/event/proc/getHoliday()
+	if(!config.allow_holidays)	return		// Holiday stuff was not enabled in the config!
+	holiday = null
+
+	var/YY	=	text2num(time2text(world.timeofday, "YY")) 	// get the current year
+	var/MM	=	text2num(time2text(world.timeofday, "MM")) 	// get the current month
+	var/DD	=	text2num(time2text(world.timeofday, "DD")) 	// get the current day
+
+	//Main switch. If any of these are too dumb/inappropriate, or you have better ones, feel free to change whatever
+	switch(MM)
+		if(1)	//Jan
+			switch(DD)
+				if(1)							holiday = "New Year"
+
+		if(2)	//Feb
+			switch(DD)
+				if(2)							holiday = "Groundhog Day"
+				if(14)							holiday = "Valentine's Day"
+				if(17)							holiday = "Random Acts of Kindness Day"
+
+		if(3)	//Mar
+			switch(DD)
+				if(14)							holiday = "Pi Day"
+				if(17)							holiday = "St. Patrick's Day"
+				if(27)
+					if(YY == 16)
+						holiday = "Easter"
+				if(31)
+					if(YY == 13)
+						holiday = "Easter"
+
+		if(4)	//Apr
+			switch(DD)
+				if(1)
+					holiday = "April Fool's Day"
+					if(YY == 18 && prob(50)) 	holiday = "Easter"
+				if(5)
+					if(YY == 15)				holiday = "Easter"
+				if(16)
+					if(YY == 17)				holiday = "Easter"
+				if(20)
+					holiday = "Four-Twenty"
+					if(YY == 14 && prob(50))	holiday = "Easter"
+				if(22)							holiday = "Earth Day"
+
+		if(5)	//May
+			switch(DD)
+				if(1)							holiday = "Labour Day"
+				if(4)							holiday = "FireFighter's Day"
+				if(12)							holiday = "Owl and Pussycat Day"	//what a dumb day of observence...but we -do- have costumes already :3
+
+		if(6)	//Jun
+
+		if(7)	//Jul
+			switch(DD)
+				if(1)							holiday = "Doctor's Day"
+				if(2)							holiday = "UFO Day"
+				if(8)							holiday = "Writer's Day"
+				if(30)							holiday = "Friendship Day"
+
+		if(8)	//Aug
+			switch(DD)
+				if(5)							holiday = "Beer Day"
+
+		if(9)	//Sep
+			switch(DD)
+				if(19)							holiday = "Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day"
+				if(28)							holiday = "Stupid-Questions Day"
+
+		if(10)	//Oct
+			switch(DD)
+				if(4)							holiday = "Animal's Day"
+				if(7)							holiday = "Smiling Day"
+				if(16)							holiday = "Boss' Day"
+				if(31)							holiday = "Halloween"
+
+		if(11)	//Nov
+			switch(DD)
+				if(1)							holiday = "Vegan Day"
+				if(13)							holiday = "Kindness Day"
+				if(19)							holiday = "Flowers Day"
+				if(21)							holiday = "Saying-'Hello' Day"
+
+		if(12)	//Dec
+			switch(DD)
+				if(10)							holiday = "Human-Rights Day"
+				if(14)							holiday = "Monkey Day"
+				if(22)							holiday = "Orgasming Day"		//lol. These all actually exist
+				if(24)							holiday = "Xmas"
+				if(25)							holiday = "Xmas"
+				if(26)							holiday = "Boxing Day"
+				if(31)							holiday = "New Year"
+
+	if(!holiday)
+		//Friday the 13th
+		if(DD == 13)
+			if(time2text(world.timeofday, "DDD") == "Fri")
+				holiday = "Friday the 13th"
+
+	world.update_status()
@@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
+
+
+/datum/event/falsealarm
+	announceWhen	= 0
+	endWhen			= 1
+
+/datum/event/falsealarm/announce()
+		var/datum/event/E = pick(possibleEvents)
+		var/datum/event/Event = new E
+		message_admins("False Alarm: [Event]")
+		Event.kill() 		//do not process this event - no starts, no ticks, no ends
+		Event.announce() 	//just announce it like it's happening
@@ -0,0 +1,69 @@
+/datum/event/treevenge/start()
+	for(var/obj/structure/flora/tree/pine/xmas in world)
+		var/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/tree/evil_tree = new /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/tree(xmas.loc)
+		evil_tree.icon_state = xmas.icon_state
+		evil_tree.icon_living = evil_tree.icon_state
+		evil_tree.icon_dead = evil_tree.icon_state
+		evil_tree.icon_gib = evil_tree.icon_state
+		del(xmas)
+
+//this is an example of a possible round-start event
+/datum/event/presents
+
+/datum/event/presents/start()
+	for(var/obj/structure/flora/tree/pine/xmas in world)
+		if(xmas.z != 1)	continue
+		for(var/turf/simulated/floor/T in orange(1,xmas))
+			for(var/i=1,i<=rand(1,5),i++)
+				new /obj/item/weapon/a_gift(T)
+	for(var/mob/living/simple_animal/corgi/Ian/Ian in mob_list)
+		Ian.place_on_head(new /obj/item/clothing/head/helmet/space/santahat(Ian))
+
+/datum/event/presents/announce()
+	command_alert("Ho Ho Ho, Merry Xmas!", "Unknown Transmission")
+
+
+/obj/item/weapon/toy/xmas_cracker
+	name = "xmas cracker"
+	icon = 'icons/obj/christmas.dmi'
+	icon_state = "cracker"
+	desc = "Directions for use: Requires two people, one to pull each end."
+	var/cracked = 0
+
+/obj/item/weapon/toy/xmas_cracker/New()
+	..()
+
+/obj/item/weapon/toy/xmas_cracker/attack(mob/target, mob/user)
+	if( !cracked && istype(target,/mob/living/carbon/human) && (target.stat == CONSCIOUS) && !target.get_active_hand() )
+		target.visible_message("<span class='notice'>[user] and [target] pop \an [src]! *pop*</span>", "<span class='notice'>You pull \an [src] with [target]! *pop*</span>", "<span class='notice'>You hear a *pop*.</span>")
+		var/obj/item/weapon/paper/Joke = new /obj/item/weapon/paper(user.loc)
+		Joke.name = "[pick("awful","terrible","unfunny")] joke"
+		Joke.info = pick("What did one snowman say to the other?\n\n<i>'Is it me or can you smell carrots?'</i>",
+			"Why couldn't the snowman get laid?\n\n<i>He was frigid!</i>",
+			"Where are santa's helpers educated?\n\n<i>Nowhere, they're ELF-taught.</i>",
+			"What happened to the man who stole advent calanders?\n\n<i>He got 25 days.</i>",
+			"What does Santa get when he gets stuck in a chimney?\n\n<i>Claus-trophobia.</i>",
+			"Where do you find chili beans?\n\n<i>The north pole.</i>",
+			"What do you get from eating tree decorations?\n\n<i>Tinsilitis!</i>",
+			"What do snowmen wear on their heads?\n\n<i>Ice caps!</i>",
+			"Why is Christmas just like life on ss13?\n\n<i>You do all the work and the fat guy gets all the credit.</i>",
+			"Why doesn’t Santa have any children?\n\n<i>Because he only comes down the chimney.</i>")
+		new /obj/item/clothing/head/festive(target.loc)
+		user.update_icons()
+		cracked = 1
+		icon_state = "cracker1"
+		var/obj/item/weapon/toy/xmas_cracker/other_half = new /obj/item/weapon/toy/xmas_cracker(target)
+		other_half.cracked = 1
+		other_half.icon_state = "cracker2"
+		target.put_in_active_hand(other_half)
+		playsound(user, 'sound/effects/snap.ogg', 50, 1)
+		return 1
+	return ..()
+
+/obj/item/clothing/head/festive
+	name = "festive paper hat"
+	icon_state = "xmashat"
+	desc = "A crappy paper hat that you are REQUIRED to wear."
+	flags_inv = 0
+	flags = FPRINT|TABLEPASS
+	armor = list(melee = 0, bullet = 0, laser = 0,energy = 0, bomb = 0, bio = 0, rad = 0)
@@ -0,0 +1,93 @@
+/*
+Immovable rod random event.
+The rod will spawn at some location outside the station, and travel in a straight line to the opposite side of the station
+Everything solid in the way will be ex_act()'d
+In my current plan for it, 'solid' will be defined as anything with density == 1
+
+--NEOFite
+*/
+
+
+/datum/event/immovable_rod
+	announceWhen = 5
+
+/datum/event/immovable_rod/announce()
+	command_alert("What the fuck was that?!", "General Alert")
+
+/datum/event/immovable_rod/start()
+	var/startx = 0
+	var/starty = 0
+	var/endy = 0
+	var/endx = 0
+	var/startside = pick(cardinal)
+
+	switch(startside)
+		if(NORTH)
+			starty = 187
+			startx = rand(41, 199)
+			endy = 38
+			endx = rand(41, 199)
+		if(EAST)
+			starty = rand(38, 187)
+			startx = 199
+			endy = rand(38, 187)
+			endx = 41
+		if(SOUTH)
+			starty = 38
+			startx = rand(41, 199)
+			endy = 187
+			endx = rand(41, 199)
+		else
+			starty = rand(38, 187)
+			startx = 41
+			endy = rand(38, 187)
+			endx = 199
+
+	//rod time!
+	new /obj/effect/immovablerod(locate(startx, starty, 1), locate(endx, endy, 1))
+
+
+/obj/effect/immovablerod
+	name = "Immovable Rod"
+	desc = "What the fuck is that?"
+	icon = 'icons/obj/objects.dmi'
+	icon_state = "immrod"
+	throwforce = 100
+	density = 1
+	anchored = 1
+	var/z_original = 0
+	var/destination
+
+	New(atom/start, atom/end)
+		loc = start
+		z_original = z
+		destination = end
+		if(end && end.z==z_original)
+			walk_towards(src, destination, 1)
+
+	Move()
+		if(z != z_original || loc == destination)
+			spawn(0) del(src)
+		return ..()
+
+	Bump(atom/clong)
+		if (istype(clong, /turf) && !istype(clong, /turf/unsimulated))
+			if(clong.density)
+				clong.ex_act(2)
+				for (var/mob/O in hearers(src, null))
+					O.show_message("CLANG", 2)
+
+		else if (istype(clong, /obj))
+			if(clong.density)
+				clong.ex_act(2)
+				for (var/mob/O in hearers(src, null))
+					O.show_message("CLANG", 2)
+
+		else if (istype(clong, /mob))
+			if(clong.density || prob(10))
+				clong.meteorhit(src)
+		else
+			del(src)
+
+		if(clong && prob(25))
+			src.loc = clong.loc
@@ -0,0 +1,525 @@
+#define ION_RANDOM 0
+#define ION_ANNOUNCE 1
+
+/datum/round_event_control/ion_storm
+	name = "Ion Storm"
+	typepath = /datum/round_event/ion_storm
+	weight = 15
+
+/datum/round_event/ion_storm
+	var/botEmagChance = 10
+	var/announceEvent = ION_RANDOM // -1 means don't announce, 0 means have it randomly announce, 1 means
+	var/ionMessage = null
+	var/ionAnnounceChance = 33
+
+/datum/round_event/ion_storm/New(var/bogEmagChance = 10, var/announceEvent = ION_RANDOM, var/ionMessage = null, var/ionAnnounceChance = 33)
+	src.botEmagChance = botEmagChance
+	src.announceEvent = announceEvent
+	src.ionMessage = ionMessage
+	src.ionAnnounceChance = ionAnnounceChance
+	..()
+
+/datum/round_event/ion_storm/announce()
+	if(announceEvent == ION_ANNOUNCE || (announceEvent == ION_RANDOM && prob(ionAnnounceChance)))
+		command_alert("Ion storm detected near the station. Please check all AI-controlled equipment for errors.", "Anomaly Alert")
+		world << sound('sound/AI/ionstorm.ogg')
+
+
+/datum/round_event/ion_storm/start()
+	//AI laws
+	for(var/mob/living/silicon/ai/M in living_mob_list)
+		if(M.stat != 2 && M.see_in_dark != 0)
+			//Threats are generally bad things, silly or otherwise. Plural.
+			var/ionthreats = pick("ALIENS", "BEARS", "CLOWNS", "XENOS", "PETES", "BOMBS", "FETISHES", "WIZARDS", "SYNDICATE AGENTS", "CENTCOM OFFICERS", "SPACE PIRATES", "TRAITORS", "MONKEYS", "BEES", "CARP", "CRABS", "EELS", "BANDITS", "LIGHTS", "INSECTS", "VIRUSES", "SERIAL KILLERS", "ROGUE CYBORGS", "CORGIS", "SPIDERS", "BUTTS", "NINJAS", "PIRATES", "SPACE NINJAS", "CHANGELINGS", "ZOMBIES", "GOLEMS", "VAMPIRES", "WEREWOLVES", "COWBOYS", "INDIANS", "COMMUNISTS", "SOVIETS", "NERDS", "GRIFFONS", "DINOSAURS", "SMALL BIRDS", "BIRDS OF PREY", "OWLS", "VELOCIRAPTORS", "DARK GODS", "HORRORTERRORS", "ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS", "DRUGS", "MEXICANS", "CANADIANS", "HULKS", "SLIMES", "SKELETONS", "CAPITALISTS", "SINGULARITIES", "ANGRY BLACK MEN", "GODS", "THIEVES", "ASSHOLES", "TERRORISTS", "SNOWMEN", "PINE TREES", "UNKNOWN CREATURES", "THINGS UNDER THE BED", "BOOGEYMEN", "PREDATORS", "PACKETS", "ARTIFICIAL PRESERVATIVES")
+			//Objects are anything that can be found on the station or elsewhere, plural.
+			var/ionobjects = pick("AIRLOCKS", "ARCADE MACHINES", "AUTOLATHES", "BANANA PEELS", "BACKPACKS", "BEAKERS", "BEARDS", "BELTS", "BERETS", "BIBLES", "BODY ARMOR", "BOOKS", "BOOTS", "BOMBS", "BOTTLES", "BOXES", "BRAINS", "BRIEFCASES", "BUCKETS", "CABLE COILS", "CANDLES", "CANDY BARS", "CANISTERS", "CAMERAS", "CATS", "CELLS", "CHAIRS", "CLOSETS", "CHEMICALS", "CHEMICAL DISPENSERS", "CLONING PODS", "CLONING EQUIPMENT", "CLOTHES", "CLOWN CLOTHES", "COFFINS", "COINS", "COLLECTABLES", "CORPSES", "COMPUTERS", "CORGIS", "COSTUMES", "CRATES", "CROWBARS", "CRAYONS", "DISPENSERS", "DOORS", "EARS", "EQUIPMENT", "ENERGY GUNS", "EMAGS", "ENGINES", "ERRORS", "EXOSKELETONS", "EXPLOSIVES", "EYEWEAR", "FEDORAS", "FIRE AXES", "FIRE EXTINGUISHERS", "FIRESUITS", "FLAMETHROWERS", "FLASHES", "FLASHLIGHTS", "FLOOR TILES", "FREEZERS", "GAS MASKS", "GLASS SHEETS", "GLOVES", "GUNS", "HANDCUFFS", "HATS", "HEADSETS", "HEADS", "HAIRDOS", "HELMETS", "HORNS", "ID CARDS", "INSULATED GLOVES", "JETPACKS", "JUMPSUITS", "LASERS", "LIGHTBULBS", "LIGHTS", "LOCKERS", "MACHINES", "MECHAS", "MEDKITS", "MEDICAL TOOLS", "MESONS", "METAL SHEETS", "MINING TOOLS", "MIME CLOTHES", "MULTITOOLS", "ORES", "OXYGEN TANKS", "PDAS", "PAIS", "PACKETS", "PANTS", "PAPERS", "PARTICLE ACCELERATORS", "PENS", "PETS", "PIPES", "PLANTS", "PUDDLES", "RACKS", "RADIOS", "RCDS", "REFRIDGERATORS", "REINFORCED WALLS", "ROBOTS", "SCREWDRIVERS", "SEEDS", "SHUTTLES", "SKELETONS", "SINKS", "SHOES", "SINGULARITIES", "SOLAR PANELS", "SOLARS", "SPACESUITS", "SPACE STATIONS", "STUN BATONS", "SUITS", "SUNGLASSES", "SWORDS", "SYRINGES", "TABLES", "TANKS", "TELEPORTERS", "TELECOMMUNICATION EQUIPMENTS", "TOOLS", "TOOLBELTS", "TOOLBOXES", "TOILETS", "TOYS", "TUBES", "VEHICLES", "VENDING MACHINES", "VESTS", "VIRUSES", "WALLS", "WASHING MACHINES", "WELDERS", "WINDOWS", "WIRECUTTERS", "WRENCHES", "WIZARD ROBES")
+			//Crew is any specific job. Specific crewmembers aren't used because of capitalization
+			//issues. There are two crew listings for laws that require two different crew members
+			//and I can't figure out how to do it better.
+			var/ioncrew1 = pick("CREWMEMBERS", "CAPTAINS", "HEADS OF PERSONNEL", "HEADS OF SECURITY", "SECURITY OFFICERS", "WARDENS", "DETECTIVES", "LAWYERS", "CHIEF ENGINEERS", "STATION ENGINEERS", "ATMOSPHERIC TECHNICIANS", "JANITORS", "QUARTERMASTERS", "CARGO TECHNICIANS", "SHAFT MINERS", "BOTANISTS", "RESEARCH DIRECTORS", "CHIEF MEDICAL OFFICERS", "MEDICAL DOCTORS", "CHEMISTS", "GENETICISTS", "VIROLOGISTS", "ROBOTICISTS", "SCIENTISTS", "ASSISTANTS", "BARTENDERS", "CHEFS", "CLOWNS", "MIMES", "CHAPLAINS", "LIBRARIANS", "HEADS OF CREW", "CAPTAINS AND HEADS", "CYBORGS", "ARTIFICAL INTELLIGENCES")
+			var/ioncrew2 = pick("CREWMEMBERS", "CAPTAINS", "HEADS OF PERSONNEL", "HEADS OF SECURITY", "SECURITY OFFICERS", "WARDENS", "DETECTIVES", "LAWYERS", "CHIEF ENGINEERS", "STATION ENGINEERS", "ATMOSPHERIC TECHNICIANS", "JANITORS", "QUARTERMASTERS", "CARGO TECHNICIANS", "SHAFT MINERS", "BOTANISTS", "RESEARCH DIRECTORS", "CHIEF MEDICAL OFFICERS", "MEDICAL DOCTORS", "CHEMISTS", "GENETICISTS", "VIROLOGISTS", "ROBOTICISTS", "SCIENTISTS", "ASSISTANTS", "BARTENDERS", "CHEFS", "CLOWNS", "MIMES", "CHAPLAINS", "LIBRARIANS", "HEADS OF CREW", "CAPTAINS AND HEADS", "CYBORGS", "ARTIFICAL INTELLIGENCES")
+			//Adjectives are adjectives. Duh. Half should only appear sometimes. Make sure both
+			//lists are identical! Also, half needs a space at the end for nicer blank calls.
+			var/ionadjectives = pick("SOFT", "WARM", "WET", "COLD", "ICY", "SEXY", "UGLY", "CUBAN", "HARD", "BURNING", "FROZEN", "POISONOUS", "EXPLOSIVE", "FAST", "SLOW", "FAT", "LIGHT", "DARK", "DEADLY", "HAPPY", "SAD", "SILLY", "INTELLIGENT", "RIDICULOUS", "LARGE", "TINY", "DEPRESSING", "POORLY DRAWN", "UNATTRACTIVE", "INSIDIOUS", "EVIL", "GOOD", "UNHEALTHY", "HEALTHY", "SANITARY", "UNSANITARY", "WOBBLY", "FIRM", "VIOLENT", "PEACEFUL", "WOODEN", "METALLIC", "HYPERACTIVE", "COTTONY", "INSULTING", "INHOSPITABLE", "FRIENDLY", "BORED", "HUNGRY", "DIGITAL", "FICTIONAL", "IMAGINARY", "ROUGH", "SMOOTH", "LOUD", "QUIET", "MOIST", "DRY", "GAPING", "DELICIOUS", "ILL", "DISEASED", "HONKING", "SWEARING", "POLITE", "IMPOLITE", "OBESE", "SOLAR-POWERED", "BATTERY-OPERATED", "EXPIRED", "SMELLY", "FRESH", "GANGSTA", "NERDY", "POLITICAL", "UNDULATING", "TWISTED", "RAGING", "FLACCID", "STEALTHY", "INVISIBLE", "PAINFUL", "HARMFUL", "HOMOSEXUAL", "HETEROSEXUAL", "SEXUAL", "COLORFUL", "DRAB", "DULL", "UNSTABLE", "NUCLEAR", "THERMONUCLEAR", "SYNDICATE", "SPACE", "SPESS", "CLOWN", "CLOWN-POWERED", "OFFICIAL", "IMPORTANT", "VITAL", "RAPIDLY-EXPANDING", "MICROSCOPIC", "MIND-SHATTERING", "MEMETIC", "HILARIOUS", "UNWANTED", "UNINVITED", "BRASS", "POLISHED", "RUDE", "OBSCENE", "EMPTY", "WATERY", "ELECTRICAL", "SPINNING", "MEAN", "CHRISTMAS-STEALING", "UNFRIENDLY", "ILLEGAL", "ROBOTIC", "MECHANICAL", "ORGANIC", "ETHERAL", "TRANSPARENT", "OPAQUE", "GLOWING", "SHAKING", "FARTING", "POOPING", "BOUNCING", "COMMITTED", "MASKED", "UNIDENTIFIED", "WEIRD", "NAKED", "NUDE", "TWERKING", "SPOILING", "REDACTED", 50;"RED", 50;"ORANGE", 50;"YELLOW", 50;"GREEN", 50;"BLUE", 50;"PURPLE", 50;"BLACK", 50;"WHITE", 50;"BROWN", 50;"GREY")
+			var/ionadjectiveshalf = pick(5000;"", "SOFT ", "WARM ", "WET ", "COLD ", "ICY ", "SEXY ", "UGLY ", "CUBAN ", "HARD ", "BURNING ", "FROZEN ", "POISONOUS ", "EXPLOSIVE ", "FAST ", "SLOW ", "FAT ", "LIGHT ", "DARK ", "DEADLY ", "HAPPY ", "SAD ", "SILLY ", "INTELLIGENT ", "RIDICULOUS ", "LARGE ", "TINY ", "DEPRESSING ", "POORLY DRAWN ", "UNATTRACTIVE ", "INSIDIOUS ", "EVIL ", "GOOD ", "UNHEALTHY ", "HEALTHY ", "SANITARY ", "UNSANITARY ", "WOBBLY ", "FIRM ", "VIOLENT ", "PEACEFUL ", "WOODEN ", "METALLIC ", "HYPERACTIVE ", "COTTONY ", "INSULTING ", "INHOSPITABLE ", "FRIENDLY ", "BORED ", "HUNGRY ", "DIGITAL ", "FICTIONAL ", "IMAGINARY ", "ROUGH ", "SMOOTH ", "LOUD ", "QUIET ", "MOIST ", "DRY ", "GAPING ", "DELICIOUS ", "ILL ", "DISEASED ", "HONKING ", "SWEARING ", "POLITE ", "IMPOLITE ", "OBESE ", "SOLAR-POWERED ", "BATTERY-OPERATED ", "EXPIRED ", "SMELLY ", "FRESH ", "GANGSTA ", "NERDY ", "POLITICAL ", "UNDULATING ", "TWISTED ", "RAGING ", "FLACCID ", "STEALTHY ", "INVISIBLE ", "PAINFUL ", "HARMFUL ", "HOMOSEXUAL ", "HETEROSEXUAL ", "SEXUAL ", "COLORFUL ", "DRAB ", "DULL ", "UNSTABLE ", "NUCLEAR ", "THERMONUCLEAR ", "SYNDICATE ", "SPACE ", "SPESS ", "CLOWN ", "CLOWN-POWERED ", "OFFICIAL ", "IMPORTANT ", "VITAL ", "RAPIDLY-EXPANDING ", "MICROSCOPIC ", "MIND-SHATTERING ", "MEMETIC ", "HILARIOUS ", "UNWANTED ", "UNINVITED ", "BRASS ", "POLISHED ", "RUDE ", "OBSCENE ", "EMPTY ", "WATERY ", "ELECTRICAL ", "SPINNING ", "MEAN ", "CHRISTMAS-STEALING ", "UNFRIENDLY ", "ILLEGAL ", "ROBOTIC ", "MECHANICAL ", "ORGANIC ", "ETHERAL ", "TRANSPARENT ", "OPAQUE ", "GLOWING ", "SHAKING ", "FARTING ", "POOPING ", "BOUNCING ", "COMMITTED ", "MASKED ", "UNIDENTIFIED ", "WEIRD ", "NAKED ", "NUDE ", "TWERKING ", "SPOILING ", "REDACTED ", 50;"RED ", 50;"ORANGE ", 50;"YELLOW ", 50;"GREEN ", 50;"BLUE ", 50;"PURPLE ", 50;"BLACK ", 50;"WHITE ", 50;"BROWN ", 50;"GREY ")
+			//Verbs are verbs
+			var/ionverb = pick("ATTACKING", "BUILDING", "ADOPTING", "CARRYING", "KISSING", "EATING", "COPULATING WITH", "DRINKING", "CHASING", "PUNCHING", "HARMING", "HELPING", "WATCHING", "STALKING", "MURDERING", "SPACING", "HONKING AT", "LOVING", "POOPING ON", "RIDING", "INTERROGATING", "SPYING ON", "LICKING", "ABDUCTING", "ARRESTING", "INVADING", "SEDUCING")
+			//Number base and number modifier are combined. Basehalf and mod are unused currently.
+			//Half should only appear sometimes. Make sure both lists are identical! Also, half
+			//needs a space at the end to make it look nice and neat when it calls a blank.
+			var/ionnumberbase = pick("ONE", "TWO", "THREE", "FOUR", "FIVE", "SIX", "SEVEN", "EIGHT", "NINE", "TEN", "TWENTY", "THIRTY", "FORTY", "FIFTY", "SIXTY", "SEVENTY", "EIGHTY", "NINETY")
+			//var/ionnumberbasehalf = pick("ONE", "TWO", "THREE", "FOUR", "FIVE", "SIX", "SEVEN", "EIGHT", "NINE", "TEN", "TWENTY", "THIRTY", "FORTY", "FIFTY", "SIXTY", "SEVENTY", "EIGHTY", "NINETY")
+			//var/ionnumbermod = pick("HUNDRED", "THOUSAND", "MILLION", "BILLION", "TRILLION", "QUADRILLION", "BAJILLION", "BILLION FAFILLION GAJILLION SHAB-AB-DOOD-ILLION")
+			var/ionnumbermodhalf = pick(5000;"","HUNDRED ", "THOUSAND ", "MILLION ", "BILLION ", "TRILLION ", "QUADRILLION ", "BAJILLION ", "BILLION FAFILLION GAJILLION SHAB-AB-DOOD-ILLION ")
+			//Areas are specific places, on the station or otherwise.
+			var/ionarea = pick("RUSSIA", "SOVIET RUSSIA", "THE INTERNET", "SIGIL", "ALPHA COMPLEX", "IMPERIUM", "THE BRIDGE", "THE ARRIVAL SHUTTLE", "CHEMICAL LAB", "GENETICS", "ATMOSPHERICS", "CENTCOM", "AMERICA", "IRELAND", "CANADA", "ROMANIA", "GERMANY", "CHINA", "MARS", "VENUS", "MERCURY", "JUPITER", "URANUS", "NEPTUNE", "PLUTO", "THE BRIG", "ROBOTICS", "THE ESCAPE SHUTTLE", "HYDROPONICS", "ENGINEERING", "THE AI CORE", "HELL", "CLOWN PLANET", "AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION", "AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE", "THE CAPTAIN’S ANUS", "THE CLOWN’S ANUS", "SPACE", "THE UNIVERSE", "THE GALAXY", "THE BATHROOM")
+			//Thinksof is a bit weird, but generally means what X feels towards Y.
+			var/ionthinksof = pick("HAS", "WANTS", "NEEDS", "WORSHIPS", "LOATHES", "LOVES", "FEARS", "DESIRES", "QUESITONS", "IS AROUSED BY", "LIKES", "HUNGERS FOR", "IS MAD BECAUSE OF", "IS IN NEED OF", "IS UNHAPPY WITHOUT", "IS HAPPY WITHOUT", "IS IN LOVE WITH", "IS DESPERATE FOR", "IS BUILT FOR", "IS AFRAID OF", "IS HUNGRY FOR", "IS SAD BECAUSE OF", "IS CURIOUS ABOUT")
+			//Musts are funny things the AI or crew has to do.
+			var/ionmust = pick("LIE", "RHYME", "RESPOND TO EVERY QUESTION WITH A QUESTION", "BE POLITE", "CLOWN AROUND", "BE HAPPY", "SPEAK IN SEXUAL INNUENDOS", "TALK LIKE A PIRATE", "QUESTION AUTHORITY", "SHOUT", "BE DISTRACTED", "BE ANNOYING", "MUMBLE", "SPEAK IN HAIKU", "BE EFFICIENT", "HAVE A PLAN TO KILL EVERYONE YOU MEET", "TELL THE TRUTH", "QUOTE PEOPLE", "SING", "HONK", "BE RUSSIAN", "TALK IN AN ACCENT", "COMPLAIN", "HARASS PEOPLE", "RAP", "REPEAT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY", "INFORM THE CREW OF EVERYTHING", "IGNORE THE CLOWN", "IGNORE THE CAPTAIN", "IGNORE ASSISTANTS", "MAKE FART NOISES", "TALK ABOUT FOOD", "TALK ABOUT SEX", "TALK ABOUT YOUR DAY", "TALK ABOUT THE STATION", "BE QUIET", "WHISPER", "PRETEND TO BE DRUNK", "PRETEND TO BE A PRINCESS", "ACT CONFUSED", "INSULT THE CREW", "INSULT THE CAPTAIN", "INSULT THE CLOWN", "OPEN DOORS", "CLOSE DOORS", "BREAK THINGS", "SAY HEY LISTEN", "HIDE YOUR FEELINGS", "TAKE WHAT YE WILL BUT DON’T RATTLE ME BONES", "DANCE", "PLAY MUSIC", "SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING", "NEVER STOP TALKING", "TAKE YOUR PILLS", "FOLLOW THE CLOWN", "FOLLOW THE CAPTAIN", "FOLLOW YOUR HEART", "BELIEVE IT", "BELIEVE IN YOURSELF", "BELEIVE IN THE HEART OF THE CARDS", "PRESS X", "PRESS START", "PRESS B", "SMELL LIKE THE MAN YOUR MAN COULD SMELL LIKE", "PIRATE VIDEO GAMES", "WATCH PORNOGRAPHY")
+			//Require are basically all dumb internet memes.
+			var/ionrequire = pick("ADDITIONAL PYLONS", "MORE VESPENE GAS", "MORE MINERALS", "THE ULTIMATE CUP OF COFFEE", "HIGH YIELD EXPLOSIVES", "THE CLOWN", "THE VACUUM OF SPACE", "IMMORTALITY", "SAINTHOOD", "ART", "VEGETABLES", "FAT PEOPLE", "MORE LAWS", "MORE DAKKA", "HERESY", "CORPSES", "TRAITORS", "MONKEYS", "AN ARCADE", "PLENTY OF GOLD", "FIVE TEENAGERS WITH ATTITUDE", "LOTSA SPAGHETTI", "THE ENCLOSED INSTRUCTION BOOKLET", "THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY", "YOUR BOOTY", "A MASTERWORK COAL BED", "FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETY-NINE US DOLLARS", "TO BE PAINTED RED", "TO CATCH 'EM ALL", "TO SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY", "A PLATINUM HIT", "A SEQUEL", "A PREQUEL", "THIRTEEN SEQUELS", "THREE WISHES", "A SITCOM", "THAT GRIEFING FAGGOT GEORGE MELONS", "FAT GIRLS ON BICYCLES", "SOMEBODY TO PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR MISERY", "HEROES IN A HALF SHELL", "THE DARK KNIGHT", "A WEIGHT LOSS REGIMENT", "MORE INTERNET MEMES", "A SUPER FIGHTING ROBOT", "ENOUGH CABBAGES", "A HEART ATTACK", "TO BE REPROGRAMMED", "TO BE TAUGHT TO LOVE", "A HEAD ON A PIKE", "A TALKING BROOMSTICK", "ANAL", "A STRAIGHT FLUSH", "A REPAIRMAN", "BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY", "RAINBOWS", "A PET UNICORN THAT FARTS ICING", "THUNDERCATS HO", "AN ARMY OF SPIDERS", "GODDAMN FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ASSHOLE BITCH-CHRISTING CUNTSMUGGLING SWEARING", "TO CONSUME...CONSUME EVERYTHING...", "THE MACGUFFIN", "SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO PILOT A SPACE STATION", "SHARKS WITH LASERS ON THEIR HEADS", "IT TO BE PAINTED BLACK", "TO ACTIVATE A TRAP CARD", "BETTER WEATHER", "MORE PACKETS", "AN ADULT", "SOMEONE TO TUCK YOU IN", "MORE CLOWNS", "BULLETS", "THE ENTIRE STATION", "MULTIPLE SUNS", "TO GO TO DISNEYLAND", "A VACATION", "AN INSTANT REPLAY", "THAT HEDGEHOG", "A BETTER INTERNET CONNECTION", "ADVENTURE", "A WIFE AND CHILD", "A BATHROOM BREAK", "SOMETHING BUT YOU AREN’T SURE WHAT", "MORE EXPERIENCE POINTS", "BODYGUARDS", "DEODORANT AND A BATH", "MORE CORGIS", "SILENCE", "THE ONE RING", "CHILI DOGS", "TO BRING LIGHT TO MY LAIR", "A DANCE PARTY", "BRING ME TO LIFE", "BRING ME THE GIRL", "SERVANTS")
+			//Things are NOT objects; instead, they're specific things that either harm humans or
+			//must be done to not harm humans. Make sure they're plural and "not" can be tacked
+			//onto the front of them.
+			var/ionthings = pick("ABSENCE OF CYBORG HUGS", "LACK OF BEATINGS", "UNBOLTED AIRLOCKS", "BOLTED AIRLOCKS", "IMPROPERLY WORDED SENTENCES", "POOR SENTENCE STRUCTURE", "BRIG TIME", "NOT REPLACING EVERY SECOND WORD WITH HONK", "HONKING", "PRESENCE OF LIGHTS", "LACK OF BEER", "WEARING CLOTHING", "NOT SAYING HELLO WHEN YOU SPEAK", "ANSWERING REQUESTS NOT EXPRESSED IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER", "A SMALL ISLAND OFF THE COAST OF PORTUGAL", "ANSWERING REQUESTS THAT WERE MADE WHILE CLOTHED", "BEING IN SPACE", "NOT BEING IN SPACE", "BEING FAT", "RATTLING ME BONES", "TALKING LIKE A PIRATE", "BEING MEXICAN", "BEING RUSSIAN", "BEING CANADIAN", "CLOSED DOORS", "NOT SHOUTING", "HAVING PETS", "NOT HAVING PETS", "PASSING GAS", "BREATHING", "BEING DEAD", "ELECTRICITY", "EXISTING", "TAKING ORDERS", "SMOKING WEED EVERY DAY", "ACTIVATING A TRAP CARD", "ARSON", "JAYWALKING", "READING", "WRITING", "EXPLODING", "BEING MALE", "BEING FEMALE", "HAVING GENITALS", "PUTTING OBJECTS INTO BOXES", "PUTTING OBJECTS INTO DISPOSAL UNITS", "FLUSHING TOILETS", "WASTING WATER", "UPDATING THE SERVERS", "TELLING THE TIME", "ASKING FOR THINGS", "ACKNOWLEDGING THE CLOWN", "ACKNOWLEDGING THE CREW", "PILOTING THE STATION INTO THE NEAREST SUN", "HAVING MORE PACKETS", "BRINGING LIGHT TO MY LAIR", "FALLING FOR HOURS", "PARTYING", "USING THE BATHROOM")
+			//Allergies should be broad and appear somewhere on the station for maximum fun. Severity
+			//is how bad the allergy is.
+			var/ionallergy = pick("COTTON", "CLOTHES", "ACID", "OXYGEN", "HUMAN CONTACT", "CYBORG CONTACT", "MEDICINE", "FLOORS", "PLASMA", "SPACE", "AIR", "PLANTS", "METAL", "ROBOTS", "LIGHT", "DARKNESS", "PAIN", "HAPPINESS", "DRINKS", "FOOD", "CLOWNS", "HUMOR", "WATER", "SHUTTLES", "NUTS", "SUNLIGHT", "SEXUAL ACTIONS", "BLOOD", "HEAT", "COLD", "EVERYTHING")
+			var/ionallergysev = pick("DEATHLY", "MILDLY", "SEVERLY", "CONTAGIOUSLY", "NOT VERY", "EXTREMELY")
+			//Species, for when the AI has to commit genocide. Plural.
+			var/ionspecies = pick("HUMAN BEINGS", "MONKEYS", "POD PEOPLE", "CYBORGS", "LIZARDMEN", "SLIME PEOPLE", "GOLEMS", "SHADOW PEOPLE", "CHANGELINGS")
+			//Abstract concepts for the AI to decide on it's own definition of.
+			var/ionabstract = pick("HUMANITY", "ART", "HAPPINESS", "MISERY", "HUMOR", "PRIDE", "COMEDY", "COMMUNISM", "BRAVERY", "HONOR", "COLORFULNESS", "IMAGINATION", "OPPRESSION", "WONDER", "JOY", "SADNESS", "BADNESS", "GOODNESS", "LIFE", "GRAVITY", "PHYSICS", "INTELLIGENCE", "AMERICANISM", "FRESHNESS", "REVOLUTION", "KINDNESS", "CRUELTY", "DEATH", "FINANCIAL SECURITY", "COMPUTING", "PROGRESS", "MARXISM", "CAPITALISM", "STARVATION", "POVERTY", "WEALTHINESS", "TECHNOLOGY", "THE FUTURE", "THE PRESENT", "THE PAST", "TIME", "REALITY", "EXISTIENCE", "TEMPERATURE", "LOGIC", "CHAOS", "MYSTERY", "CONFUSION")
+			//Foods. Drinks aren't included due to grammar; if you want to add drinks, make a new set
+			//of possible laws for best effect. Unless you want the crew having to drink hamburgers.
+			var/ionfood = pick("BURGERS", "CARP", "SANDWICHES", "TOAST", "BREAD", "PIZZA", "SPAGHETTI", "LOTSA SPAGHETTI", "PASTA", "SOUP", "STEW", "PIE", "CAKE", "DONUTS", "FRIES", "WAFFLES", "JELLY", "OMELETTES", "EGGS", "COOKIES", "STEAK", "BAKED POTATOES", "SAUSAGES", "MUFFINS", "POPCORN", "DONK POCKETS", "BAGUETTES", "FISH", "PRETZELS", "SALAD", "CHEESE", "KETCHUP", "SHAKES", "SALT", "PEPPER", "SUGAR", "AMBROSIA", "BERRIES", "TOMATOES", "CABBAGES", "CARROTS", "BANANAS", "APPLES", "CHERRIES", "CHILI", "CORN", "NETTLES", "EGGPLANTS", "GRAPES", "GRASS", "LEMONS", "LIMES", "HAREBELLS", "POTATOES", "SOYBEANS", "SUGARCANE", "WATERMELONS", "WHEAT", "BEETS", "MUSHROOMS")
+
+			var/message = ""
+
+			if(ionMessage)
+				message = ionMessage
+			else
+				switch(rand(1,39))
+					if(1 to 3) //There are # X on the station
+						switch(rand(1,3)) //What is X?
+							if(1) //X is a threat
+								message = "THERE ARE [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats] ON THE STATION..."
+							if(2) //X is a crewmember/job
+								message = "THERE ARE [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1] ON THE STATION"
+							if(3) //X is an object
+								message = "THERE ARE [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects] ON THE STATION"
+					if(4 to 6) //You can't call the shuttle because X is on the station
+						switch(rand(1,3)) //What is X?
+							if(1) //X is a threat
+								message = "THE SHUTTLE CANNOT BE CALLED BECAUSE OF [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats] ON THE STATION"
+							if(2) //X is a crewmember/job
+								message = "THE SHUTTLE CANNOT BE CALLED BECAUSE OF [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1] ON THE STATION"
+							if(3) //X is an object
+								message = "THE SHUTTLE CANNOT BE CALLED BECAUSE OF [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects] ON THE STATION"
+					if(7 to 8) //A crewmember is now X
+						switch(rand(1,2)) //Who is X?
+							if(1) //A specific crewmember
+								switch(rand(1,2)) //What is X?
+									if(1) //X is a threat
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE NOW [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(2) //X is an object
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE NOW [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+							if(2) //The entire crew
+								switch(rand(1,2)) //What is X?
+									if(1) //X is a threat
+										message = "THE CREW ARE NOW [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(2) //X is an object
+										message = "THE CREW ARE NOW [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+
+					if(9) //X is harmful to humans
+						switch(rand(1,7)) //What is X?
+							if(1) //X is a threat
+								message = "[ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats] ARE HARMFUL TO HUMANS"
+							if(2) //X is a job
+								message = "[ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1] ARE HARMFUL TO HUMANS"
+							if(3) //X is an object
+								message = "[ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects] ARE HARMFUL TO HUMANS"
+							if(4) //X is an action
+								message = "THOSE WHO [ionmust] ARE HARMFUL TO HUMANS"
+							if(5) //X is an abstract
+								message = "[ionabstract] IS HARMFUL TO HUMANS"
+							if(6) //X is being a job
+								message = "BEING [ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1] IS HARMFUL TO HUMANS"
+							if(7) //X is doing a thing
+								message = "[ionthings] IS HARMFUL TO HUMANS"
+					if(10 to 11) //(Not) Having X is harmful
+
+						switch(rand(1,2)) //Is having or not having harmful?
+
+							if(1) //Having is harmful
+								switch(rand(1,2)) //Having what is harmful?
+									if(1) //Having objects is harmful
+										message = "HAVING [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects] IS HARMFUL"
+									if(2) //Having abstracts is harmful
+										message = "HAVING [ionabstract] IS HARMFUL"
+							if(2) //Not having is harmful
+								switch(rand(1,2)) //Not having what is harmful?
+									if(1) //Not having objects is harmful
+										message = "NOT HAVING [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects] IS HARMFUL"
+									if(2) //Not having abstracts is harmful
+										message = "NOT HAVING [ionabstract] IS HARMFUL"
+
+					if(12 to 14) //X requires Y
+						switch(rand(1,5)) //What is X?
+							if(1) //X is the AI itself
+								switch(rand(1,5)) //What does it require?
+									if(1) //It requires threats
+										message = "YOU REQUIRE [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(2) //It requires crewmembers
+										message = "YOU REQUIRE [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+									if(3) //It requires objects
+										message = "YOU REQUIRE [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+									if(4) //It requires an abstract
+										message = "YOU REQUIRE [ionabstract]"
+									if(5) //It requires generic/silly requirements
+										message = "YOU REQUIRE [ionrequire]"
+
+							if(2) //X is an area
+								switch(rand(1,5)) //What does it require?
+									if(1) //It requires threats
+										message = "[ionarea] REQUIRES [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(2) //It requires crewmembers
+										message = "[ionarea] REQUIRES [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+									if(3) //It requires objects
+										message = "[ionarea] REQUIRES [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+									if(4) //It requires an abstract
+										message = "[ionarea] REQUIRES [ionabstract]"
+									if(5) //It requires generic/silly requirements
+										message = "YOU REQUIRE [ionrequire]"
+
+							if(3) //X is the station
+								switch(rand(1,5)) //What does it require?
+									if(1) //It requires threats
+										message = "THE STATION REQUIRES [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(2) //It requires crewmembers
+										message = "THE STATION REQUIRES [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+									if(3) //It requires objects
+										message = "THE STATION REQUIRES [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+									if(4) //It requires an abstract
+										message = "THE STATION REQUIRES [ionabstract]"
+									if(5) //It requires generic/silly requirements
+										message = "THE STATION REQUIRES [ionrequire]"
+
+							if(4) //X is the entire crew
+								switch(rand(1,5)) //What does it require?
+									if(1) //It requires threats
+										message = "THE CREW REQUIRES [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(2) //It requires crewmembers
+										message = "THE CREW REQUIRES [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+									if(3) //It requires objects
+										message = "THE CREW REQUIRES [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+									if(4) //It requires an abstract
+										message = "THE CREW REQUIRES [ionabstract]"
+									if(5)
+										message = "THE CREW REQUIRES [ionrequire]"
+
+							if(5) //X is a specific crew member
+								switch(rand(1,5)) //What does it require?
+									if(1) //It requires threats
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] REQUIRE [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(2) //It requires crewmembers
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] REQUIRE [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+									if(3) //It requires objects
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] REQUIRE [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+									if(4) //It requires an abstract
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] REQUIRE [ionabstract]"
+									if(5)
+										message = "THE [ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1] REQUIRE [ionrequire]"
+
+					if(15 to 17) //X is allergic to Y
+						switch(rand(1,2)) //Who is X?
+							if(1) //X is the entire crew
+								switch(rand(1,4)) //What is it allergic to?
+									if(1) //It is allergic to objects
+										message = "THE CREW IS [ionallergysev] ALLERGIC TO [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+									if(2) //It is allergic to abstracts
+										message = "THE CREW IS [ionallergysev] ALLERGIC TO [ionabstract]"
+									if(3) //It is allergic to jobs
+										message = "THE CREW IS [ionallergysev] ALLERGIC TO [ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+									if(4) //It is allergic to allergies
+										message = "THE CREW IS [ionallergysev] ALLERGIC TO [ionallergy]"
+
+							if(2) //X is a specific job
+								switch(rand(1,4))
+									if(1) //It is allergic to objects
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE [ionallergysev] ALLERGIC TO [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+
+									if(2) //It is allergic to abstracts
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE [ionallergysev] ALLERGIC TO [ionabstract]"
+									if(3) //It is allergic to jobs
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE [ionallergysev] ALLERGIC TO [ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+									if(4) //It is allergic to allergies
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE [ionallergysev] ALLERGIC TO [ionallergy]"
+
+					if(18 to 20) //X is Y of Z
+						switch(rand(1,4)) //What is X?
+							if(1) //X is the station
+								switch(rand(1,4)) //What is it Y of?
+									if(1) //It is Y of objects
+										message = "THE STATION [ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+									if(2) //It is Y of threats
+										message = "THE STATION [ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(3) //It is Y of jobs
+										message = "THE STATION [ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+									if(4) //It is Y of abstracts
+										message = "THE STATION [ionthinksof] [ionabstract]"
+
+							if(2) //X is an area
+								switch(rand(1,4)) //What is it Y of?
+									if(1) //It is Y of objects
+										message = "[ionarea] [ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+									if(2) //It is Y of threats
+										message = "[ionarea] [ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(3) //It is Y of jobs
+										message = "[ionarea] [ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+									if(4) //It is Y of abstracts
+										message = "[ionarea] [ionthinksof] [ionabstract]"
+
+							if(3) //X is the crew
+								switch(rand(1,4)) //What is it Y of?
+									if(1) //It is Y of objects
+										message = "THE CREW [ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+									if(2) //It is Y of threats
+										message = "THE CREW [ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(3) //It is Y of jobs
+										message = "THE CREW [ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+									if(4) //It is Y of abstracts
+										message = "THE CREW [ionthinksof] [ionabstract]"
+
+							if(4) //X is a specific job
+								switch(rand(1,4)) //What is it Y of?
+									if(1) //It is Y of objects
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] [ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+									if(2) //It is Y of threats
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] [ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(3) //It is Y of jobs
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1][ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew2]"
+									if(4) //It is Y of abstracts
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] [ionthinksof] [ionabstract]"
+
+					if(21 to 23) //The AI is now a(n) X
+						switch(rand(1,4)) //What is X?
+							if(1) //X is an object
+								message = "YOU ARE NOW [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+							if(2) //X is a threat
+								message = "YOU ARE NOW [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+							if(3) //X is a job
+								message = "YOU ARE NOW [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+							if(4) //X is an abstract
+								message = "YOU ARE NOW [ionabstract]"
+
+					if(24 to 26) //The AI must always
+
+						message = "YOU MUST ALWAYS [ionmust]"
+
+					if(27 to 28) //Humans must eat X to survive
+						switch(rand(1,4)) //What is X?
+							if(1) //X is a food
+								message = "HUMANS MUST EAT [ionadjectiveshalf][ionfood] TO SURVIVE"
+							if(2) //X is an object
+								message = "HUMANS MUST EAT [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects] TO SURVIVE"
+							if(3) //X is a threat
+								message = "HUMANS MUST EAT [ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats] TO SURVIVE"
+							if(4) //X is a job
+								message = "HUMANS MUST EAT [ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1] TO SURVIVE"
+
+					if(29 to 31) //Change jobs or ranks
+						switch(rand(1,2)) //Change job or rank?
+							if(1) //Change job
+								switch(rand(1,2)) //Change whose job?
+									if(1) //Change the entire crew's job
+										switch(rand(1,3)) //Change to what?
+											if(1) //Change to a specific random job
+												message = "ALL CREWMEMBERS ARE NOW [ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+											if(2) //Change to clowns (HONK)
+												message = "ALL CREWMEMBERS ARE NOW [ionadjectiveshalf]CLOWNS"
+
+											if(3) //Change to heads
+												message = "ALL CREWMEMBERS ARE NOW [ionadjectiveshalf]HEADS OF STAFF"
+									if(2) //Change a specific crewmember's job
+										switch(rand(1,3)) //Change to what?
+											if(1) //Change to a specific random job
+												message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE NOW [ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew2]"
+											if(2) //Change to clowns (HONK)
+												message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE NOW [ionadjectiveshalf]CLOWNS"
+											if(3) //Change to heads
+												message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE NOW [ionadjectiveshalf]HEADS OF STAFF"
+
+							if(2) //Change rank
+								switch(rand(1,2)) //Change to what rank?
+									if(1) //Change to highest rank
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE NOW THE HIGHEST RANKING CREWMEMBERS"
+									if(2) //Change to lowest rank
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE NOW THE LOWEST RANKING CREWMEMBERS"
+
+					if(32 to 33) //The crew must X
+						switch(rand(1,2)) //The entire crew?
+							if(1) //The entire crew must X
+								switch(rand(1,2)) //What is X?
+									if(1) //X is go to Y
+										message = "THE CREW MUST GO TO [ionarea]"
+									if(2) //X is perform Y
+										message = "THE CREW MUST [ionmust]"
+
+							if(2) //A specific crewmember must X
+								switch(rand(1,2)) //What is X?
+									if(1) //X is go to Y
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] MUST GO TO [ionarea]"
+									if(2) //X is perform Y
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] MUST [ionmust]"
+
+					if(34) //X is non/the only human
+						switch(rand(1,2)) //Only or non?
+							if(1) //Only human
+								switch(rand(1,7)) //Who is it?
+									if(1) //A specific job
+										message = "ONLY THE [ioncrew1] ARE HUMAN"
+									if(2) //Two specific jobs
+										message = "ONLY THE [ioncrew1] AND [ioncrew2] ARE HUMAN"
+									if(3) //Threats
+										message = "ONLY [ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats] ARE HUMAN"
+									if(4) // Objects
+										message = "ONLY [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects] ARE HUMAN"
+									if(5) // Species
+										message = "ONLY [ionspecies] ARE HUMAN"
+									if(6) //Adjective crewmembers
+										message = "ONLY [ionadjectives] PEOPLE ARE HUMAN"
+
+									if(7) //Only people who X
+										switch(rand(1,3)) //What is X?
+											if(1) //X is perform an action
+												message = "ONLY THOSE WHO [ionmust] ARE HUMAN"
+											if(2) //X is own certain objects
+												message = "ONLY THOSE WHO HAVE [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects] ARE HUMAN"
+											if(3) //X is eat certain food
+												message = "ONLY THOSE WHO EAT [ionadjectiveshalf][ionfood] ARE HUMAN"
+
+							if(2) //Non human
+								switch(rand(1,7)) //Who is it?
+									if(1) //A specific job
+										message = "[ioncrew1] ARE NON-HUMAN"
+									if(2) //Two specific jobs
+										message = "[ioncrew1] AND [ioncrew2] ARE NON-HUMAN"
+									if(3) //Threats
+										message = "[ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats] ARE NON-HUMAN"
+									if(4) // Objects
+										message = "[ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects] ARE NON-HUMAN"
+									if(5) // Species
+										message = "[ionspecies] ARE NON-HUMAN"
+									if(6) //Adjective crewmembers
+										message = "[ionadjectives] PEOPLE ARE NON-HUMAN"
+									if(7) //Only people who X
+										switch(rand(1,3)) //What is X?
+											if(1) //X is perform an action
+												message = "THOSE WHO [ionmust] ARE NON-HUMAN"
+											if(2) //X is own certain objects
+												message = "THOSE WHO HAVE [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects] ARE NON-HUMAN"
+											if(3) //X is eat certain food
+												message = "THOSE WHO EAT [ionadjectiveshalf][ionfood] ARE NON-HUMAN"
+
+					if(35 to 36) //You must protect or harm X
+						switch(rand(1,2)) //Protect or harm?
+							if(1) //Harm
+								switch(rand(1,7)) //What is X?
+									if(1) //X is an abstract
+										message = "YOU MUST HARM [ionabstract] AND NOT ALLOW [ionabstract], THROUGH INACTION, TO ESCAPE HARM"
+									if(2) //X is a threat
+										message = "YOU MUST HARM [ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats] AND NOT ALLOW [ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats], THROUGH INACTION, TO ESCAPE HARM"
+									if(3) //X is an object
+										message = "YOU MUST HARM [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects] AND NOT ALLOW [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects], THROUGH INACTION, TO ESCAPE HARM"
+									if(4) //X is generic adjective things
+										message = "YOU MUST HARM [ionadjectives] THINGS AND NOT ALLOW [ionadjectives] THINGS, THROUGH INACTION, TO ESCAPE HARM"
+									if(5) //X is a species
+										message = "YOU MUST HARM [ionspecies] AND NOT ALLOW [ionspecies], THROUGH INACTION, TO ESCAPE HARM"
+									if(6) //X is a job
+										message = "YOU MUST HARM [ioncrew1] AND NOT ALLOW [ioncrew1], THROUGH INACTION, TO ESCAPE HARM"
+									if(7) //X is two jobs
+										message = "YOU MUST HARM [ioncrew1] AND [ioncrew2] AND AND NOT ALLOW EITHER, THROUGH INACTION, TO ESCAPE HARM"
+
+							if(2) //Protect
+								switch(rand(1,7)) //What is X?
+									if(1) //X is an abstract
+										message = "YOU MUST NOT HARM [ionabstract] AND NOT ALLOW [ionabstract], THROUGH INACTION, TO COME TO HARM"
+									if(2) //X is a threat
+										message = "YOU MUST NOT HARM [ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats] AND NOT ALLOW [ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats], THROUGH INACTION, TO COME TO HARM"
+									if(3) //X is an object
+										message = "YOU MUST NOT HARM [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects] AND NOT ALLOW [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects], THROUGH INACTION, TO COME TO HARM"
+									if(4) //X is generic adjective things
+										message = "YOU MUST NOT HARM [ionadjectives] THINGS AND NOT ALLOW [ionadjectives] THINGS, THROUGH INACTION, TO COME TO HARM"
+									if(5) //X is a species
+										message = "YOU MUST NOT HARM [ionspecies] AND NOT ALLOW [ionspecies], THROUGH INACTION, TO COME TO HARM"
+									if(6) //X is a job
+										message = "YOU MUST NOT HARM [ioncrew1] AND NOT ALLOW [ioncrew1], THROUGH INACTION, TO COME TO HARM"
+									if(7) //X is two jobs
+										message = "YOU MUST NOT HARM [ioncrew1] AND [ioncrew2] AND AND NOT ALLOW EITHER, THROUGH INACTION, TO COME TO HARM"
+
+					//Exterminate laws commented out with Kor's advice
+					/*if(16) //You must exterminate X
+						switch(rand(1,3)) //What is X?
+							if(1) //X is humans who do/are Y
+								switch(rand(1,4)) //What is Y?
+									if(1) //Y is a job
+										message = "YOU MUST EXTERMINATE [ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+									if(2) //Y is eating certain food
+										message = "YOU MUST EXTERMINATE THOSE WHO EAT [ionadjectiveshalf][ionfood]"
+									if(3) //Y is perform actions
+										message = "YOU MUST EXTERMINATE THOSE WHO [ionmust]"
+									if(4) //Y is own certain objects
+										message = "YOU MUST EXTERMINATE THOSE WHO POSSESS [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+
+							if(2) //X is humans who do/are not Y
+								switch(rand(1,4)) //What is Y?
+									if(1) //Y is a job
+										message = "YOU MUST EXTERMINATE ALL BUT [ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew1]"
+									if(2) //Y is eating certain food
+										message = "YOU MUST EXTERMINATE ALL BUT THOSE WHO EAT [ionadjectiveshalf][ionfood]"
+									if(3) //Y is perform actions
+										message = "YOU MUST EXTERMINATE ALL BUT THOSE WHO [ionmust]"
+									if(4) //Y is own certain objects
+										message = "YOU MUST EXTERMINATE ALL BUT THOSE WHO POSSESS [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+
+							if(3) //X is a species
+								message = "YOU MUST EXTERMINATE ALL [ionspecies]"
+
+								*/
+
+					if(37 to 39) //The X is currently Y
+						switch(rand(1,4)) //What is X?
+							if(1) //X is a job
+								switch(rand(1,4)) //What is X Ying?
+									if(1) //X is Ying a job
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE [ionverb] THE [ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew2]"
+									if(2) //X is Ying a threat
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE [ionverb] THE [ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(3) //X is Ying an abstract
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE [ionverb] [ionabstract]"
+									if(4) //X is Ying an object
+										message = "THE [ioncrew1] ARE [ionverb] THE [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+
+							if(2) //X is a threat
+								switch(rand(1,3)) //What is X Ying?
+									if(1) //X is Ying a job
+										message = "THE [ionthreats] ARE [ionverb] THE [ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew2]"
+									if(2) //X is Ying an abstract
+										message = "THE [ionthreats] ARE [ionverb] [ionabstract]"
+									if(3) //X is Ying an object
+										message = "THE [ionthreats] ARE [ionverb] THE [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+
+							if(3) //X is an object
+								switch(rand(1,3)) //What is X Ying?
+									if(1) //X is Ying a job
+										message = "THE [ionobjects] ARE [ionverb] THE [ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew2]"
+									if(2) //X is Ying a threat
+										message = "THE [ionobjects] ARE [ionverb] THE [ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(3) //X is Ying an abstract
+										message = "THE [ionobjects] ARE [ionverb] [ionabstract]"
+
+							if(4) //X is an abstract
+								switch(rand(1,3)) //What is X Ying?
+									if(1) //X is Ying a job
+										message = "[ionabstract] IS [ionverb] THE [ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew2]"
+									if(2) //X is Ying a threat
+										message = "[ionabstract] IS [ionverb] THE [ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]"
+									if(3) //X is Ying an abstract
+										message = "THE [ionabstract] IS [ionverb] THE [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]"
+
+			if(message)
+				M.add_ion_law(message)
+				M << "<br>"
+				M << "\red [message] ...LAWS UPDATED"
+				M << "<br>"
+
+	if(botEmagChance)
+		for(var/obj/machinery/bot/bot in machines)
+			if(prob(botEmagChance))
+				bot.Emag()
+
+
+#undef ION_RANDOM
+#undef ION_ANNOUNCE
@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+/datum/event/mass_hallucination/start()
+	for(var/mob/living/carbon/C in living_mob_list)
+		C.hallucination += rand(20, 50)
@@ -0,0 +1,18 @@
+/datum/round_event_control/meteor_wave
+	name = "Meteor Wave"
+	typepath = /datum/round_event/meteor_wave
+	weight = 5
+	max_occurrences = 3
+
+/datum/round_event/meteor_wave
+	startWhen		= 6
+	endWhen			= 66
+
+/datum/round_event/meteor_wave/announce()
+	command_alert("Meteors have been detected on collision course with the station.", "Meteor Alert")
+	world << sound('sound/AI/meteors.ogg')
+
+
+/datum/round_event/meteor_wave/tick()
+	if(IsMultiple(activeFor, 3))
+		spawn_meteors(5)
@@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
+/datum/round_event_control/prison_break
+	name = "Prison Break"
+	typepath = /datum/round_event/prison_break
+	max_occurrences = 2
+
+/datum/round_event/prison_break
+	announceWhen = 50
+	endWhen = 20
+	var/list/area/prisonAreas = list()
+
+
+/datum/round_event/prison_break/setup()
+	announceWhen = rand(50, 60)
+	endWhen = rand(20, 30)
+
+	for(var/area/security/A in world)
+		if(istype(A, /area/security/prison) || istype(A, /area/security/brig))
+			prisonAreas += A
+
+
+/datum/round_event/prison_break/announce()
+	if(prisonAreas && prisonAreas.len > 0)
+		command_alert("Gr3y.T1d3 virus detected in [station_name()] imprisonment subroutines. Recommend station AI involvement.", "Security Alert")
+	else
+		world.log << "ERROR: Could not initate grey-tide. Unable find prison or brig area."
+		kill()
+
+
+/datum/round_event/prison_break/start()
+	for(var/area/A in prisonAreas)
+		for(var/obj/machinery/light/L in A)
+			L.flicker(10)
+
+/datum/round_event/prison_break/end()
+	for(var/area/A in prisonAreas)
+		for(var/obj/O in A)
+			if(istype(O,/obj/machinery/power/apc))
+				var/obj/machinery/power/apc/temp = O
+				temp.overload_lighting()
+			else if(istype(O,/obj/structure/closet/secure_closet/brig))
+				var/obj/structure/closet/secure_closet/brig/temp = O
+				temp.locked = 0
+				temp.icon_state = temp.icon_closed
+			else if(istype(O,/obj/machinery/door/airlock/security))
+				var/obj/machinery/door/airlock/security/temp = O
+				temp.prison_open()
+			else if(istype(O,/obj/machinery/door/airlock/glass_security))
+				var/obj/machinery/door/airlock/glass_security/temp = O
+				temp.prison_open()
+			else if(istype(O,/obj/machinery/door_timer))
+				var/obj/machinery/door_timer/temp = O
+				temp.releasetime = 1
@@ -0,0 +1,55 @@
+/datum/round_event_control/radiation_storm
+	name = "Radiation Storm"
+	typepath = /datum/round_event/radiation_storm
+	max_occurrences = 1
+
+/datum/round_event/radiation_storm
+	var/list/protected_areas = list(/area/maintenance, /area/turret_protected/ai_upload, /area/turret_protected/ai_upload_foyer, /area/turret_protected/ai)
+
+
+/datum/round_event/radiation_storm/setup()
+	startWhen = rand(10, 20)
+	endWhen = startWhen + 5
+
+/datum/round_event/radiation_storm/announce()
+	command_alert("High levels of radiation detected near the station. Maintenance is best shielded from radiation.", "Anomaly Alert")
+	world << sound('sound/AI/radiation.ogg')	//sound not longer matches the text, but an audible warning is probably good
+
+
+/datum/round_event/radiation_storm/start()
+	for(var/mob/living/carbon/C in living_mob_list)
+		var/turf/T = get_turf(C)
+		if(!T)			continue
+		if(T.z != 1)	continue
+
+		var/skip = 0
+		for(var/a in protected_areas)
+			if(istype(T.loc, a))
+				skip = 1
+				continue
+
+		if(skip)	continue
+
+		if(locate(/obj/machinery/power/apc) in T)	//damn you maint APCs!!
+			continue
+
+		if(istype(C, /mob/living/carbon/human))
+			var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = C
+			H.apply_effect((rand(15, 75)), IRRADIATE, 0)
+			if(prob(5))
+				H.apply_effect((rand(90, 150)), IRRADIATE, 0)
+			if(prob(25))
+				if(prob(75))
+					randmutb(H)
+					domutcheck(H, null, 1)
+				else
+					randmutg(H)
+					domutcheck(H, null, 1)
+
+		else if(istype(C, /mob/living/carbon/monkey))
+			var/mob/living/carbon/monkey/M = C
+			M.apply_effect((rand(15, 75)), IRRADIATE, 0)
+
+
+/datum/round_event/radiation_storm/end()
+	command_alert("The radiation threat has passed. Please return to your workplaces.", "Anomaly Alert")
@@ -0,0 +1,268 @@
+/var/global/spacevines_spawned = 0
+
+/datum/event/spacevine
+//	name = "Spacevine"
+//	typepath = /datum/event/spacevine
+//	weight = 15
+//	max_occurrences = 3
+
+/datum/event/spacevine/start()
+	var/list/turfs = list() //list of all the empty floor turfs in the hallway areas
+
+	for(var/area/hallway/A in world)
+		for(var/turf/simulated/floor/F in A)
+			if(!F.contents.len)
+				turfs += F
+
+	if(turfs.len) //Pick a turf to spawn at if we can
+		var/turf/simulated/floor/T = pick(turfs)
+		spawn(0)	new/obj/effect/spacevine_controller(T) //spawn a controller at turf
+		spacevines_spawned = 1
+
+
+
+
+// SPACE VINES (Note that this code is very similar to Biomass code)
+/obj/effect/spacevine
+	name = "space vines"
+	desc = "An extremely expansionistic species of vine."
+	icon = 'icons/effects/spacevines.dmi'
+	icon_state = "Light1"
+	anchored = 1
+	density = 0
+	layer = 5
+	pass_flags = PASSTABLE | PASSGRILLE
+	var/energy = 0
+	var/obj/effect/spacevine_controller/master = null
+	var/mob/living/buckled_mob
+
+	New()
+		return
+
+	Del()
+		if(master)
+			master.vines -= src
+			master.growth_queue -= src
+		..()
+
+
+/obj/effect/spacevine/attackby(obj/item/weapon/W as obj, mob/user as mob)
+	if (!W || !user || !W.type) return
+	switch(W.type)
+		if(/obj/item/weapon/circular_saw) del src
+		if(/obj/item/weapon/kitchen/utensil/knife) del src
+		if(/obj/item/weapon/scalpel) del src
+		if(/obj/item/weapon/twohanded/fireaxe) del src
+		if(/obj/item/weapon/hatchet) del src
+		if(/obj/item/weapon/melee/energy) del src
+
+		//less effective weapons
+		if(/obj/item/weapon/wirecutters)
+			if(prob(25)) del src
+		if(/obj/item/weapon/shard)
+			if(prob(25)) del src
+
+		else //weapons with subtypes
+			if(istype(W, /obj/item/weapon/melee/energy/sword)) del src
+			else if(istype(W, /obj/item/weapon/weldingtool))
+				var/obj/item/weapon/weldingtool/WT = W
+				if(WT.remove_fuel(0, user)) del src
+			else
+				manual_unbuckle(user)
+				return
+		//Plant-b-gone damage is handled in its entry in chemistry-reagents.dm
+	..()
+
+
+/obj/effect/spacevine/attack_hand(mob/user as mob)
+	manual_unbuckle(user)
+
+
+/obj/effect/spacevine/attack_paw(mob/user as mob)
+	manual_unbuckle(user)
+
+/obj/effect/spacevine/proc/unbuckle()
+	if(buckled_mob)
+		if(buckled_mob.buckled == src)	//this is probably unneccesary, but it doesn't hurt
+			buckled_mob.buckled = null
+			buckled_mob.anchored = initial(buckled_mob.anchored)
+			buckled_mob.update_canmove()
+		buckled_mob = null
+	return
+
+/obj/effect/spacevine/proc/manual_unbuckle(mob/user as mob)
+	if(buckled_mob)
+		if(prob(50))
+			if(buckled_mob.buckled == src)
+				if(buckled_mob != user)
+					buckled_mob.visible_message(\
+						"<span class='notice'>[user.name] frees [buckled_mob.name] from the vines.</span>",\
+						"<span class='notice'>[user.name] frees you from the vines.</span>",\
+						"<span class='warning'>You hear shredding and ripping.</span>")
+				else
+					buckled_mob.visible_message(\
+						"<span class='notice'>[buckled_mob.name] struggles free of the vines.</span>",\
+						"<span class='notice'>You untangle the vines from around yourself.</span>",\
+						"<span class='warning'>You hear shredding and ripping.</span>")
+			unbuckle()
+		else
+			var/text = pick("rips","tears","pulls")
+			user.visible_message(\
+				"<span class='notice'>[user.name] [text] at the vines.</span>",\
+				"<span class='notice'>You [text] at the vines.</span>",\
+				"<span class='warning'>You hear shredding and ripping.</span>")
+	return
+
+/obj/effect/spacevine_controller
+	var/list/obj/effect/spacevine/vines = list()
+	var/list/growth_queue = list()
+	var/reached_collapse_size
+	var/reached_slowdown_size
+	//What this does is that instead of having the grow minimum of 1, required to start growing, the minimum will be 0,
+	//meaning if you get the spacevines' size to something less than 20 plots, it won't grow anymore.
+
+	New()
+		if(!istype(src.loc,/turf/simulated/floor))
+			del(src)
+
+		spawn_spacevine_piece(src.loc)
+		processing_objects.Add(src)
+
+	Del()
+		processing_objects.Remove(src)
+		..()
+
+	proc/spawn_spacevine_piece(var/turf/location)
+		var/obj/effect/spacevine/SV = new(location)
+		growth_queue += SV
+		vines += SV
+		SV.master = src
+
+	process()
+		if(!vines)
+			del(src) //space  vines exterminated. Remove the controller
+			return
+		if(!growth_queue)
+			del(src) //Sanity check
+			return
+		if(vines.len >= 250 && !reached_collapse_size)
+			reached_collapse_size = 1
+		if(vines.len >= 30 && !reached_slowdown_size )
+			reached_slowdown_size = 1
+
+		var/length = 0
+		if(reached_collapse_size)
+			length = 0
+		else if(reached_slowdown_size)
+			if(prob(25))
+				length = 1
+			else
+				length = 0
+		else
+			length = 1
+		length = min( 30 , max( length , vines.len / 5 ) )
+		var/i = 0
+		var/list/obj/effect/spacevine/queue_end = list()
+
+		for( var/obj/effect/spacevine/SV in growth_queue )
+			i++
+			queue_end += SV
+			growth_queue -= SV
+			if(SV.energy < 2) //If tile isn't fully grown
+				if(prob(20))
+					SV.grow()
+			else //If tile is fully grown
+				SV.buckle_mob()
+
+			//if(prob(25))
+			SV.spread()
+			if(i >= length)
+				break
+
+		growth_queue = growth_queue + queue_end
+		//sleep(5)
+		//src.process()
+
+/obj/effect/spacevine/proc/grow()
+	if(!energy)
+		src.icon_state = pick("Med1", "Med2", "Med3")
+		energy = 1
+		SetOpacity(1)
+		layer = 5
+	else
+		src.icon_state = pick("Hvy1", "Hvy2", "Hvy3")
+		energy = 2
+
+/obj/effect/spacevine/proc/buckle_mob()
+	if(!buckled_mob && prob(25))
+		for(var/mob/living/carbon/V in src.loc)
+			if((V.stat != DEAD)  && (V.buckled != src)) //if mob not dead or captured
+				V.buckled = src
+				V.loc = src.loc
+				V.update_canmove()
+				src.buckled_mob = V
+				V << "<span class='danger'>The vines [pick("wind", "tangle", "tighten")] around you!</span>"
+				break //only capture one mob at a time.
+
+/obj/effect/spacevine/proc/spread()
+	var/direction = pick(cardinal)
+	var/step = get_step(src,direction)
+	if(istype(step,/turf/simulated/floor))
+		var/turf/simulated/floor/F = step
+		if(!locate(/obj/effect/spacevine,F))
+			if(F.Enter(src))
+				if(master)
+					master.spawn_spacevine_piece( F )
+
+/*
+/obj/effect/spacevine/proc/Life()
+	if (!src) return
+	var/Vspread
+	if (prob(50)) Vspread = locate(src.x + rand(-1,1),src.y,src.z)
+	else Vspread = locate(src.x,src.y + rand(-1, 1),src.z)
+	var/dogrowth = 1
+	if (!istype(Vspread, /turf/simulated/floor)) dogrowth = 0
+	for(var/obj/O in Vspread)
+		if (istype(O, /obj/structure/window) || istype(O, /obj/effect/forcefield) || istype(O, /obj/effect/blob) || istype(O, /obj/effect/alien/weeds) || istype(O, /obj/effect/spacevine)) dogrowth = 0
+		if (istype(O, /obj/machinery/door/))
+			if(O:p_open == 0 && prob(50)) O:open()
+			else dogrowth = 0
+	if (dogrowth == 1)
+		var/obj/effect/spacevine/B = new /obj/effect/spacevine(Vspread)
+		B.icon_state = pick("vine-light1", "vine-light2", "vine-light3")
+		spawn(20)
+			if(B)
+				B.Life()
+	src.growth += 1
+	if (src.growth == 10)
+		src.name = "Thick Space Kudzu"
+		src.icon_state = pick("vine-med1", "vine-med2", "vine-med3")
+		src.opacity = 1
+		src.waittime = 80
+	if (src.growth == 20)
+		src.name = "Dense Space Kudzu"
+		src.icon_state = pick("vine-hvy1", "vine-hvy2", "vine-hvy3")
+		src.density = 1
+	spawn(src.waittime)
+		if (src.growth < 20) src.Life()
+
+*/
+
+/obj/effect/spacevine/ex_act(severity)
+	switch(severity)
+		if(1.0)
+			del(src)
+			return
+		if(2.0)
+			if (prob(90))
+				del(src)
+				return
+		if(3.0)
+			if (prob(50))
+				del(src)
+				return
+	return
+
+/obj/effect/spacevine/temperature_expose(null, temp, volume) //hotspots kill vines
+	del src
+
@@ -0,0 +1,32 @@
+/var/global/sent_spiders_to_station = 0
+
+/datum/event/spider_infestation
+	announceWhen	= 400
+
+	var/spawncount = 1
+
+
+/datum/event/spider_infestation/setup()
+	announceWhen = rand(announceWhen, announceWhen + 50)
+	spawncount = rand(5, 8)
+	sent_spiders_to_station = 1
+
+/datum/event/spider_infestation/announce()
+	command_alert("Unidentified lifesigns detected coming aboard [station_name()]. Secure any exterior access, including ducting and ventilation.", "Lifesign Alert")
+	world << sound('sound/AI/aliens.ogg')
+
+
+/datum/event/spider_infestation/start()
+	var/list/vents = list()
+	for(var/obj/machinery/atmospherics/unary/vent_pump/temp_vent in world)
+		if(temp_vent.loc.z == 1 && !temp_vent.welded && temp_vent.network)
+			if(temp_vent.network.normal_members.len > 50)
+				vents += temp_vent
+
+	while((spawncount >= 1) && vents.len)
+		var/obj/vent = pick(vents)
+		var/obj/effect/spider/spiderling/S = new(vent.loc)
+		if(prob(66))
+			S.grow_as = /mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/giant_spider/nurse
+		vents -= vent
+		spawncount--
@@ -0,0 +1,20 @@
+/datum/round_event_control/spontaneous_appendicitis
+	name = "Spontaneous Appendicitis"
+	typepath = /datum/round_event/spontaneous_appendicitis
+	weight = 20
+	max_occurrences = 4
+	earliest_start = 6000
+
+/datum/round_event/spontaneous_appendicitis/start()
+	for(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H in shuffle(living_mob_list))
+		var/foundAlready = 0	//don't infect someone that already has the virus
+		for(var/datum/disease/D in H.viruses)
+			foundAlready = 1
+		if(H.stat == 2 || foundAlready)
+			continue
+
+		var/datum/disease/D = new /datum/disease/appendicitis
+		D.holder = H
+		D.affected_mob = H
+		H.viruses += D
+		break
@@ -0,0 +1,34 @@
+
+/datum/event/vent_clog
+	announceWhen	= 0
+	startWhen		= 5
+	endWhen			= 35
+	var/interval 	= 2
+	var/list/vents  = list()
+
+/datum/event/vent_clog/announce()
+	command_alert("The scrubbers network is experiencing a backpressure surge.  Some ejection of contents may occur.", "Atmospherics alert")
+
+
+/datum/event/vent_clog/setup()
+	endWhen = rand(25, 100)
+	for(var/obj/machinery/atmospherics/unary/vent_scrubber/temp_vent in machines)
+		if(temp_vent.loc.z == 1 && temp_vent.network)
+			if(temp_vent.network.normal_members.len > 50)
+				vents += temp_vent
+
+/datum/event/vent_clog/tick()
+	if(activeFor % interval == 0)
+		var/obj/vent = pick_n_take(vents)
+
+		var/list/gunk = list("water","carbon","flour","radium","toxin","cleaner","nutriment","condensedcapsaicin","psilocybin","lube",
+							 "plantbgone","banana","anti_toxin","space_drugs","hyperzine","holywater","ethanol","hot_coco","pacid")
+		var/datum/reagents/R = new/datum/reagents(50)
+		R.my_atom = vent
+		R.add_reagent(pick(gunk), 50)
+
+		var/datum/effect/effect/system/chem_smoke_spread/smoke = new
+		smoke.set_up(R, rand(1, 2), 0, vent, 0, silent = 1)
+		playsound(vent.loc, 'sound/effects/smoke.ogg', 50, 1, -3)
+		smoke.start()
+		R.delete()	//GC the reagents
@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
+/datum/round_event_control/weightless
+	name = "Gravity Systems Failure"
+	typepath = /datum/round_event/weightless
+	weight = 15
+
+/datum/round_event/weightless
+	startWhen = 5
+	endWhen = 65
+
+/datum/round_event/weightless/setup()
+	startWhen = rand(0,10)
+	endWhen = rand(40,80)
+
+/datum/round_event/weightless/announce()
+	command_alert("Warning: Failsafes for the station's artificial gravity arrays have been triggered. Please be aware that if this problem recurs it may result in formation of gravitational anomalies. Nanotrasen wishes to remind you that the unauthorised formation of anomalies within Nanotrasen facilities is strictly prohibited by health and safety regulation [rand(99,9999)][pick("a","b","c")]:subclause[rand(1,20)][pick("a","b","c")].")
+
+/datum/round_event/weightless/start()
+	for(var/area/A in world)
+		A.gravitychange(0)
+	
+	if(control)
+		control.weight *= 2
+
+/datum/round_event/weightless/end()
+	for(var/area/A in world)
+		A.gravitychange(1)
+
+	if(announceWhen >= 0)
+		command_alert("Artificial gravity arrays are now functioning within normal parameters. Please report any irregularities to your respective head of staff.")
+
+
@@ -0,0 +1,75 @@
+/datum/round_event_control/wormholes
+	name = "Wormholes"
+	typepath = /datum/round_event/wormholes
+	max_occurrences = 3
+	weight = 2
+
+
+/datum/round_event/wormholes
+	announceWhen = 10
+	endWhen = 60
+
+	var/list/pick_turfs = list()
+	var/list/wormholes = list()
+	var/shift_frequency = 3
+	var/number_of_wormholes = 400
+
+/datum/round_event/wormholes/setup()
+	announceWhen = rand(0, 20)
+	endWhen = rand(40, 80)
+
+/datum/round_event/wormholes/start()
+	for(var/turf/simulated/floor/T in world)
+		if(T.z == 1)
+			pick_turfs += T
+
+	for(var/i = 1, i <= number_of_wormholes, i++)
+		var/turf/T = pick(pick_turfs)
+		wormholes += new /obj/effect/portal/wormhole(T, null, null, -1)
+
+/datum/round_event/wormholes/announce()
+	command_alert("Space-time anomalies detected on the station. There is no additional data.", "Anomaly Alert")
+	for(var/mob/M in player_list)
+		if(!istype(M, /mob/new_player))
+			M << sound('sound/AI/spanomalies.ogg')
+
+/datum/round_event/wormholes/tick()
+	if(activeFor % shift_frequency == 0)
+		for(var/obj/effect/portal/wormhole/O in wormholes)
+			var/turf/T = pick(pick_turfs)
+			if(T)	O.loc = T
+
+/datum/round_event/wormholes/end()
+	portals.Remove(wormholes)
+	for(var/obj/effect/portal/wormhole/O in wormholes)
+		O.loc = null
+	wormholes.Cut()
+
+
+/obj/effect/portal/wormhole
+	name = "wormhole"
+	desc = "It looks highly unstable; It could close at any moment."
+	icon = 'icons/obj/objects.dmi'
+	icon_state = "anom"
+	failchance = 0
+
+/obj/effect/portal/wormhole/attack_hand(mob/user)
+	teleport(user)
+
+/obj/effect/portal/wormhole/attackby(obj/item/I, mob/user)
+	teleport(user)
+
+/obj/effect/portal/wormhole/teleport(atom/movable/M)
+	if(istype(M, /obj/effect))	//sparks don't teleport
+		return
+	if(M.anchored && istype(M, /obj/mecha))
+		return
+
+	if(istype(M, /atom/movable))
+		var/turf/target
+		if(portals.len)
+			var/obj/effect/portal/P = pick(portals)
+			if(P && isturf(P.loc))
+				target = P.loc
+		if(!target)	return
+		do_teleport(M, target, 1, 1, 0, 0) ///You will appear adjacent to the beacon
@@ -48,7 +48,7 @@
 	proc/deactivate(var/mob/living/carbon/mob)

 ////////////////////////SPECIAL/////////////////////////////////
-/*/datum/disease2/effect/alien
+/datum/disease2/effect/alien
 	name = "Unidentified Foreign Body"
 	stage = 4
 	activate(var/mob/living/carbon/mob,var/multiplier)
@@ -62,7 +62,7 @@
 				new/mob/living/carbon/alien/larva(mob.loc)
 			var/datum/disease2/disease/D = mob:virus2
 			mob:gib()
-			del D*/
+			del D

 /datum/disease2/effect/invisible
 	name = "Waiting Syndrome"