diff --git a/code/datums/spells/cluwne.dm b/code/datums/spells/cluwne.dm
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..c0336b26149
--- /dev/null
+++ b/code/datums/spells/cluwne.dm
@@ -0,0 +1,86 @@
+/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/touch/cluwne
+	name = "Curse of the Cluwne"
+	desc = "Turns the target into a fat and cursed monstrosity of a clown."
+	hand_path = /obj/item/weapon/melee/touch_attack/cluwne
+
+	school = "transmutation"
+
+	charge_max = 600
+	clothes_req = 1
+	cooldown_min = 200 //100 deciseconds reduction per rank
+
+	action_icon_state = "clown"
+
+/mob/living/carbon/human/proc/makeCluwne()
+	to_chat(src, "<span class='danger'>You feel funny.</span>")
+	adjustBrainLoss(80)
+	nutrition = 9000
+	confused = 120
+	if(mind)
+		mind.assigned_role = "Cluwne"
+
+	var/obj/item/organ/internal/honktumor/cursed/tumor = new
+	tumor.insert(src)
+	mutations.Add(NERVOUS)
+	dna.SetSEState(NERVOUSBLOCK, 1, 1)
+	genemutcheck(src, NERVOUSBLOCK, null, MUTCHK_FORCED)
+
+	animate_clownspell(src)
+
+	unEquip(w_uniform, 1)
+	unEquip(shoes, 1)
+	unEquip(gloves, 1)
+	if(!istype(wear_mask, /obj/item/clothing/mask/cursedclown)) //Infinite loops otherwise
+		unEquip(wear_mask, 1)
+	equip_to_slot_if_possible(new /obj/item/clothing/under/cursedclown, slot_w_uniform, 1, 1, 1)
+	equip_to_slot_if_possible(new /obj/item/clothing/gloves/cursedclown, slot_gloves, 1, 1, 1)
+	equip_to_slot_if_possible(new /obj/item/clothing/mask/cursedclown, slot_wear_mask, 1, 1, 1)
+	equip_to_slot_if_possible(new /obj/item/clothing/shoes/cursedclown, slot_shoes, 1, 1, 1)
+	real_name = "cluwne"
+
+/mob/living/carbon/human/proc/makeAntiCluwne()
+	to_chat(src, "<span class='danger'>You don't feel very funny.</span>")
+	adjustBrainLoss(-120)
+	nutrition = NUTRITION_LEVEL_STARVING
+	confused = 0
+	jitteriness = 0
+	if(mind)
+		mind.assigned_role = "Lawyer"
+
+	var/obj/item/organ/internal/honktumor/cursed/tumor = get_int_organ(/obj/item/organ/internal/honktumor/cursed)
+	if(tumor)
+		tumor.remove(src, clean_remove = 1)
+		qdel(tumor)
+	else
+		mutations.Remove(CLUMSY)
+		mutations.Remove(COMICBLOCK)
+		dna.SetSEState(CLUMSYBLOCK,0)
+		dna.SetSEState(COMICBLOCK,0)
+		genemutcheck(src, CLUMSYBLOCK, null, MUTCHK_FORCED)
+		genemutcheck(src, COMICBLOCK, null, MUTCHK_FORCED)
+	mutations.Remove(NERVOUS)
+	dna.SetSEState(NERVOUSBLOCK, 0)
+	genemutcheck(src, NERVOUSBLOCK, null, MUTCHK_FORCED)
+
+	animate_clownspell(src)
+
+	var/obj/item/clothing/under/U = w_uniform
+	unEquip(w_uniform, 1)
+	if(U)
+		qdel(U)
+
+	var/obj/item/clothing/shoes/S = shoes
+	unEquip(shoes, 1)
+	if(S)
+		qdel(S)
+
+	if(istype(wear_mask, /obj/item/clothing/mask/cursedclown))
+		unEquip(wear_mask, 1)
+
+	if(istype(gloves, /obj/item/clothing/gloves/cursedclown))
+		var/obj/item/clothing/gloves/G = gloves
+		unEquip(gloves, 1)
+		qdel(G)
+
+	equip_to_slot_if_possible(new /obj/item/clothing/under/lawyer/black, slot_w_uniform, 1, 1, 1)
+	equip_to_slot_if_possible(new /obj/item/clothing/shoes/black, slot_shoes, 1, 1, 1)
diff --git a/code/datums/spells/touch_attacks.dm b/code/datums/spells/touch_attacks.dm
index 1262730fd45..6f659e5e98d 100644
--- a/code/datums/spells/touch_attacks.dm
+++ b/code/datums/spells/touch_attacks.dm
@@ -1,5 +1,5 @@
-/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/touch/
-	var/hand_path = "/obj/item/weapon/melee/touch_attack"
+/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/touch
+	var/hand_path = /obj/item/weapon/melee/touch_attack
 	var/obj/item/weapon/melee/touch_attack/attached_hand = null
 	invocation_type = "none" //you scream on connecting, not summoning
 	include_user = 1
@@ -47,7 +47,7 @@
 /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/touch/disintegrate
 	name = "Disintegrate"
 	desc = "This spell charges your hand with vile energy that can be used to violently explode victims."
-	hand_path = "/obj/item/weapon/melee/touch_attack/disintegrate"
+	hand_path = /obj/item/weapon/melee/touch_attack/disintegrate
 
 	school = "evocation"
 	charge_max = 600
@@ -59,11 +59,11 @@
 /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/touch/flesh_to_stone
 	name = "Flesh to Stone"
 	desc = "This spell charges your hand with the power to turn victims into inert statues for a long period of time."
-	hand_path = "/obj/item/weapon/melee/touch_attack/fleshtostone"
+	hand_path = /obj/item/weapon/melee/touch_attack/fleshtostone
 
 	school = "transmutation"
 	charge_max = 600
 	clothes_req = 1
 	cooldown_min = 200 //100 deciseconds reduction per rank
 
-	action_icon_state = "statue"
\ No newline at end of file
+	action_icon_state = "statue"
diff --git a/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/godhand.dm b/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/godhand.dm
index 8a5ba06f36f..ab5ba426106 100644
--- a/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/godhand.dm
+++ b/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/godhand.dm
@@ -33,7 +33,7 @@
 	qdel(src)
 
 /obj/item/weapon/melee/touch_attack/disintegrate
-	name = "\improper disintegrating touch"
+	name = "disintegrating touch"
 	desc = "This hand of mine glows with an awesome power!"
 	catchphrase = "EI NATH!!"
 	on_use_sound = "sound/magic/Disintegrate.ogg"
@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@
 	..()
 
 /obj/item/weapon/melee/touch_attack/fleshtostone
-	name = "\improper petrifying touch"
+	name = "petrifying touch"
 	desc = "That's the bottom line, because flesh to stone said so!"
 	catchphrase = "STAUN EI!!"
 	on_use_sound = "sound/magic/FleshToStone.ogg"
@@ -78,10 +78,38 @@
 	item_state = "disintegrate"
 
 /obj/item/weapon/melee/touch_attack/fake_disintegrate/afterattack(atom/target, mob/living/carbon/user, proximity)
-	if(!proximity || target == user || !ismob(target) || !iscarbon(user) || user.lying || user.handcuffed) //exploding after touching yourself would be bad
+	if(!proximity || target == user || !ismob(target) || !iscarbon(user) || user.lying || user.handcuffed) //not exploding after touching yourself would be bad
 		return
 	var/datum/effect/system/spark_spread/sparks = new
 	sparks.set_up(4, 0, target.loc) //no idea what the 0 is
 	sparks.start()
 	playsound(target.loc, 'sound/goonstation/effects/gib.ogg', 50, 1)
-	..()
\ No newline at end of file
+	..()
+
+/obj/item/weapon/melee/touch_attack/cluwne
+	name = "cluwne touch"
+	desc = "It's time to start clowning around."
+	catchphrase = "NWOLC EGNEVER"
+	on_use_sound = "sound/misc/sadtrombone.ogg"
+	icon_state = "cluwnecurse"
+	item_state = "cluwnecurse"
+
+/obj/item/weapon/melee/touch_attack/cluwne/afterattack(atom/target, mob/living/carbon/user, proximity)
+	if(!proximity || target == user || !ishuman(target) || !iscarbon(user) || user.lying || user.handcuffed) //clowning around after touching yourself would unsurprisingly, be bad
+		return
+
+	if(iswizard(target))
+		to_chat(user, "<span class='warning'>The spell has no effect on [target].</span>")
+		return
+
+	var/datum/effect/system/harmless_smoke_spread/s = new /datum/effect/system/harmless_smoke_spread
+	s.set_up(5, 0, target)
+	s.start()
+
+	var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = target
+	if(H.mind)
+		if(H.mind.assigned_role != "Cluwne")
+			H.makeCluwne()
+		else
+			H.makeAntiCluwne()
+	..()
diff --git a/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/spellbook.dm b/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/spellbook.dm
index ac487a8e703..65c50382532 100644
--- a/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/spellbook.dm
+++ b/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/spellbook.dm
@@ -233,6 +233,11 @@
 	category = "Assistance"
 	cost = 1
 
+/datum/spellbook_entry/cluwne
+	name = "Curse of the Cluwne"
+	spell_type = /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/touch/cluwne
+	log_name = "CC"
+
 /datum/spellbook_entry/item
 	name = "Buy Item"
 	refundable = 0
@@ -857,4 +862,4 @@
 	spell = /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/touch/fake_disintegrate
 	spellname = "disintegrate"
 	icon_state ="bookfireball"
-	desc = "This book feels like it will rip stuff apart."
\ No newline at end of file
+	desc = "This book feels like it will rip stuff apart."
diff --git a/code/modules/clothing/gloves/miscellaneous.dm b/code/modules/clothing/gloves/miscellaneous.dm
index 060dd1ca47c..d98ee1d0154 100644
--- a/code/modules/clothing/gloves/miscellaneous.dm
+++ b/code/modules/clothing/gloves/miscellaneous.dm
@@ -47,4 +47,11 @@
 	name = "batgloves"
 	icon_state = "bmgloves"
 	item_state = "bmgloves"
-	item_color="bmgloves"
\ No newline at end of file
+	item_color="bmgloves"
+
+/obj/item/clothing/gloves/cursedclown
+	name = "cursed white gloves"
+	desc = "These things smell terrible, and they're all lumpy. Gross."
+	icon_state = "latex"
+	item_state = "lgloves"
+	flags = NODROP
diff --git a/code/modules/clothing/masks/miscellaneous.dm b/code/modules/clothing/masks/miscellaneous.dm
index 3e99b277db3..ca5a267c6a4 100644
--- a/code/modules/clothing/masks/miscellaneous.dm
+++ b/code/modules/clothing/masks/miscellaneous.dm
@@ -275,3 +275,28 @@ obj/item/clothing/mask/bandana/purple
 	icon_state = "bandblack"
 	item_color = "black"
 	desc = "It's a black bandana."
+
+/obj/item/clothing/mask/cursedclown
+	name = "cursed clown mask"
+	desc = "This is a very, very odd looking mask."
+	icon = 'icons/goonstation/objects/clothing/mask.dmi'
+	icon_state = "cursedclown"
+	item_state = "cclown_hat"
+	icon_override = 'icons/goonstation/mob/clothing/mask.dmi'
+	lefthand_file = 'icons/goonstation/mob/inhands/clothing_lefthand.dmi'
+	righthand_file = 'icons/goonstation/mob/inhands/clothing_righthand.dmi'
+	flags = NODROP
+
+/obj/item/clothing/mask/cursedclown/equipped(mob/user, slot)
+	..()
+	var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = user
+	if(istype(H) && slot == slot_wear_mask)
+		to_chat(H, "<span class='danger'>[src] grips your face!</span>")
+		if(H.mind && H.mind.assigned_role != "Cluwne")
+			H.makeCluwne()
+
+/obj/item/clothing/mask/cursedclown/suicide_act(mob/user)
+	user.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[user] gazes into the eyes of [src]. [src] gazes back!</span>")
+	spawn(10)
+		user.gib()
+	return BRUTELOSS
diff --git a/code/modules/clothing/shoes/miscellaneous.dm b/code/modules/clothing/shoes/miscellaneous.dm
index af361951f3d..bc62c5d71d4 100644
--- a/code/modules/clothing/shoes/miscellaneous.dm
+++ b/code/modules/clothing/shoes/miscellaneous.dm
@@ -207,3 +207,13 @@
 	item_color = "fancysandal"
 	species_restricted = null
 
+/obj/item/clothing/shoes/cursedclown
+	name = "cursed clown shoes"
+	desc = "Moldering clown flip flops. They're neon green for some reason."
+	icon = 'icons/goonstation/objects/clothing/feet.dmi'
+	icon_state = "cursedclown"
+	item_state = "cclown_shoes"
+	icon_override = 'icons/goonstation/mob/clothing/feet.dmi'
+	lefthand_file = 'icons/goonstation/mob/inhands/clothing_lefthand.dmi'
+	righthand_file = 'icons/goonstation/mob/inhands/clothing_righthand.dmi'
+	flags = NODROP
diff --git a/code/modules/clothing/suits/miscellaneous.dm b/code/modules/clothing/suits/miscellaneous.dm
index a88fdd6f970..badf323d804 100644
--- a/code/modules/clothing/suits/miscellaneous.dm
+++ b/code/modules/clothing/suits/miscellaneous.dm
@@ -657,4 +657,4 @@
 			if(user.reagents.get_reagent_amount("syndicate_nanites") < 15)
 				user.reagents.add_reagent("syndicate_nanites", 15)
 	else
-		processing_objects.Remove(src)
\ No newline at end of file
+		processing_objects.Remove(src)
diff --git a/code/modules/clothing/under/miscellaneous.dm b/code/modules/clothing/under/miscellaneous.dm
index 769e388f546..d912a2e289d 100644
--- a/code/modules/clothing/under/miscellaneous.dm
+++ b/code/modules/clothing/under/miscellaneous.dm
@@ -709,3 +709,15 @@
 			to_chat(user,"<span class='warning'>You can't fit inside while wearing that \the [user.get_item_by_slot(slot_id)].</span>")
 			return 0
 	return 1
+
+/obj/item/clothing/under/cursedclown
+	name = "cursed clown suit"
+	desc = "It wasn't already?"
+	icon = 'icons/goonstation/objects/clothing/uniform.dmi'
+	icon_state = "cursedclown"
+	item_state = "cclown_uniform"
+	item_color = "cursedclown"
+	icon_override = 'icons/goonstation/mob/clothing/uniform.dmi'
+	lefthand_file = 'icons/goonstation/mob/inhands/clothing_lefthand.dmi'
+	righthand_file = 'icons/goonstation/mob/inhands/clothing_righthand.dmi'
+	flags = NODROP
diff --git a/code/modules/surgery/organs/organ_internal.dm b/code/modules/surgery/organs/organ_internal.dm
index f4a47c595cb..27b7120b63a 100644
--- a/code/modules/surgery/organs/organ_internal.dm
+++ b/code/modules/surgery/organs/organ_internal.dm
@@ -476,13 +476,21 @@
 			var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = owner
 			if(isobj(H.shoes))
 				var/thingy = H.shoes
-				H.unEquip(H.shoes)
-				walk_away(thingy,H,15,2)
-				spawn(20)
-					if(thingy)
-						walk(thingy,0)
+				if(H.unEquip(H.shoes))
+					walk_away(thingy,H,15,2)
+					spawn(20)
+						if(thingy)
+							walk(thingy,0)
 	..()
 
+/obj/item/organ/internal/honktumor/cursed
+
+/obj/item/organ/internal/honktumor/cursed/remove(mob/living/carbon/M, special = 0, clean_remove = 0)
+	..()
+	if(!clean_remove)
+		insert(M) //You're not getting away that easily!
+	else
+		qdel(src)
 
 /obj/item/organ/internal/beard
 	name = "beard organ"
@@ -493,7 +501,6 @@
 	parent_organ = "head"
 	slot = "hair_organ"
 
-
 /obj/item/organ/internal/beard/on_life()
 
 	if(!owner)
@@ -516,4 +523,4 @@
 			head_organ.r_facial = 216
 			head_organ.g_facial = 192
 			head_organ.b_facial = 120
-			H.update_fhair()
\ No newline at end of file
+			H.update_fhair()
diff --git a/icons/goonstation/mob/clothing/feet.dmi b/icons/goonstation/mob/clothing/feet.dmi
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..73549581095
Binary files /dev/null and b/icons/goonstation/mob/clothing/feet.dmi differ
diff --git a/icons/goonstation/mob/clothing/mask.dmi b/icons/goonstation/mob/clothing/mask.dmi
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..c4392fb8de7
Binary files /dev/null and b/icons/goonstation/mob/clothing/mask.dmi differ
diff --git a/icons/goonstation/mob/clothing/uniform.dmi b/icons/goonstation/mob/clothing/uniform.dmi
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..522e83854ec
Binary files /dev/null and b/icons/goonstation/mob/clothing/uniform.dmi differ
diff --git a/icons/goonstation/mob/inhands/clothing_lefthand.dmi b/icons/goonstation/mob/inhands/clothing_lefthand.dmi
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..363c616d3f8
Binary files /dev/null and b/icons/goonstation/mob/inhands/clothing_lefthand.dmi differ
diff --git a/icons/goonstation/mob/inhands/clothing_righthand.dmi b/icons/goonstation/mob/inhands/clothing_righthand.dmi
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..0903e0d2055
Binary files /dev/null and b/icons/goonstation/mob/inhands/clothing_righthand.dmi differ
diff --git a/icons/goonstation/objects/clothing/feet.dmi b/icons/goonstation/objects/clothing/feet.dmi
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..e6d37e10132
Binary files /dev/null and b/icons/goonstation/objects/clothing/feet.dmi differ
diff --git a/icons/goonstation/objects/clothing/mask.dmi b/icons/goonstation/objects/clothing/mask.dmi
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..f5c4f97c255
Binary files /dev/null and b/icons/goonstation/objects/clothing/mask.dmi differ
diff --git a/icons/goonstation/objects/clothing/uniform.dmi b/icons/goonstation/objects/clothing/uniform.dmi
new file mode 100644
index 00000000000..a602f0cdce5
Binary files /dev/null and b/icons/goonstation/objects/clothing/uniform.dmi differ
diff --git a/icons/mob/actions.dmi b/icons/mob/actions.dmi
index 5adc3ed1509..127b63a154a 100644
Binary files a/icons/mob/actions.dmi and b/icons/mob/actions.dmi differ
diff --git a/icons/mob/inhands/items_lefthand.dmi b/icons/mob/inhands/items_lefthand.dmi
index 61c176bd08a..27168c30865 100644
Binary files a/icons/mob/inhands/items_lefthand.dmi and b/icons/mob/inhands/items_lefthand.dmi differ
diff --git a/icons/mob/inhands/items_righthand.dmi b/icons/mob/inhands/items_righthand.dmi
index 652996f8d8c..2f7154777fd 100644
Binary files a/icons/mob/inhands/items_righthand.dmi and b/icons/mob/inhands/items_righthand.dmi differ
diff --git a/icons/obj/weapons.dmi b/icons/obj/weapons.dmi
index 01609b50824..7867fac04b4 100644
Binary files a/icons/obj/weapons.dmi and b/icons/obj/weapons.dmi differ
diff --git a/paradise.dme b/paradise.dme
index 3f06e7152d2..7f315ddd7c0 100644
--- a/paradise.dme
+++ b/paradise.dme
@@ -274,6 +274,7 @@
 #include "code\datums\spells\area_teleport.dm"
 #include "code\datums\spells\bloodcrawl.dm"
 #include "code\datums\spells\charge.dm"
+#include "code\datums\spells\cluwne.dm"
 #include "code\datums\spells\conjure.dm"
 #include "code\datums\spells\construct_spells.dm"
 #include "code\datums\spells\dumbfire.dm"