diff --git a/code/game/gamemodes/cult/blood_magic.dm b/code/game/gamemodes/cult/blood_magic.dm
index 2ea1a208399..f9e0b667e65 100644
--- a/code/game/gamemodes/cult/blood_magic.dm
+++ b/code/game/gamemodes/cult/blood_magic.dm
@@ -401,10 +401,7 @@
 			source.UpdateButtonIcon()
 	return ..()
 
-/obj/item/melee/blood_magic/customised_abstract_text()
-	if(!ishuman(loc))
-		return
-	var/mob/living/carbon/human/owner = loc
+/obj/item/melee/blood_magic/customised_abstract_text(mob/living/carbon/owner)
 	return "<span class='warning'>[owner.p_their(TRUE)] [owner.l_hand == src ? "left hand" : "right hand"] is burning in blood-red fire.</span>"
 
 /obj/item/melee/blood_magic/attack_self(mob/living/user)
diff --git a/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/godhand.dm b/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/godhand.dm
index edfe5d8f41b..0f0dfbe4f5d 100644
--- a/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/godhand.dm
+++ b/code/game/gamemodes/wizard/godhand.dm
@@ -23,10 +23,7 @@
 		attached_spell.UnregisterSignal(attached_spell.action.owner, COMSIG_MOB_WILLINGLY_DROP)
 	return ..()
 
-/obj/item/melee/touch_attack/customised_abstract_text()
-	if(!ishuman(loc))
-		return
-	var/mob/living/carbon/human/owner = loc
+/obj/item/melee/touch_attack/customised_abstract_text(mob/living/carbon/owner)
 	return "<span class='warning'>[owner.p_their(TRUE)] [owner.l_hand == src ? "left hand" : "right hand"] is burning in magic fire.</span>"
 
 /obj/item/melee/touch_attack/attack(mob/target, mob/living/carbon/user)
diff --git a/code/game/objects/items.dm b/code/game/objects/items.dm
index 2f3140a86f4..61f4e4b8656 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/items.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/items.dm
@@ -154,7 +154,7 @@ GLOBAL_DATUM_INIT(welding_sparks, /mutable_appearance, mutable_appearance('icons
 		in_storage = TRUE
 
 // this proc is used to add text for items with ABSTRACT flag after default examine text
-/obj/item/proc/customised_abstract_text()
+/obj/item/proc/customised_abstract_text(mob/living/carbon/owner)
 	return
 
 /obj/item/proc/determine_move_resist()
diff --git a/code/game/objects/items/weapons/holy_weapons.dm b/code/game/objects/items/weapons/holy_weapons.dm
index 2b41c2b9f00..7de564885c2 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/items/weapons/holy_weapons.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/items/weapons/holy_weapons.dm
@@ -122,10 +122,7 @@
 	damtype = BURN
 	attack_verb = list("punched", "cross countered", "pummeled")
 
-/obj/item/nullrod/godhand/customised_abstract_text()
-	if(!ishuman(loc))
-		return
-	var/mob/living/carbon/human/owner = loc
+/obj/item/nullrod/godhand/customised_abstract_text(mob/living/carbon/owner)
 	return "<span class='warning'>[owner.p_their(TRUE)] [owner.l_hand == src ? "left hand" : "right hand"] is burning in holy fire.</span>"
 
 /obj/item/nullrod/staff
@@ -437,10 +434,7 @@
 	w_class = WEIGHT_CLASS_HUGE
 	sharp = TRUE
 
-/obj/item/nullrod/armblade/customised_abstract_text()
-	if(!ishuman(loc))
-		return
-	var/mob/living/carbon/human/owner = loc
+/obj/item/nullrod/armblade/customised_abstract_text(mob/living/carbon/owner)
 	return "<span class='warning'>[owner.p_their(TRUE)] [owner.l_hand == src ? "left arm" : "right arm"] has been turned into a grotesque meat-blade.</span>"
 
 /obj/item/nullrod/armblade/mining
diff --git a/code/game/objects/items/weapons/twohanded.dm b/code/game/objects/items/weapons/twohanded.dm
index f4e1ffcc2b8..fbe38d78caa 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/items/weapons/twohanded.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/items/weapons/twohanded.dm
@@ -749,10 +749,7 @@
 	STOP_PROCESSING(SSobj, src)
 	return ..()
 
-/obj/item/pyro_claws/customised_abstract_text()
-	if(!ishuman(loc))
-		return
-	var/mob/living/carbon/human/owner = loc
+/obj/item/pyro_claws/customised_abstract_text(mob/living/carbon/owner)
 	return "<span class='warning'>[owner.p_they(TRUE)] [owner.p_have(FALSE)] energy claws extending [owner.p_their(FALSE)] wrists.</span>"
 
 /obj/item/pyro_claws/process()
diff --git a/code/modules/antagonists/changeling/powers/mutations.dm b/code/modules/antagonists/changeling/powers/mutations.dm
index 4acb46abaa3..11b4ebbe98e 100644
--- a/code/modules/antagonists/changeling/powers/mutations.dm
+++ b/code/modules/antagonists/changeling/powers/mutations.dm
@@ -161,10 +161,7 @@
 		var/obj/machinery/computer/C = target
 		C.attack_alien(user) //muh copypasta
 
-/obj/item/melee/arm_blade/customised_abstract_text()
-	if(!ishuman(loc))
-		return
-	var/mob/living/carbon/human/owner = loc
+/obj/item/melee/arm_blade/customised_abstract_text(mob/living/carbon/owner)
 	return "<span class='warning'>[owner.p_their(TRUE)] [owner.l_hand == src ? "left arm" : "right arm"] has been turned into a grotesque meat-blade.</span>"
 
 /***************************************\
@@ -209,10 +206,7 @@
 	throw_speed = 0
 	var/datum/action/changeling/weapon/parent_action
 
-/obj/item/gun/magic/tentacle/customised_abstract_text()
-	if(!ishuman(loc))
-		return
-	var/mob/living/carbon/human/owner = loc
+/obj/item/gun/magic/tentacle/customised_abstract_text(mob/living/carbon/owner)
 	return "<span class='warning'>[owner.p_their(TRUE)] [owner.l_hand == src ? "left arm" : "right arm"] has been turned into a grotesque tentacle.</span>"
 
 /obj/item/gun/magic/tentacle/Initialize(mapload, silent, new_parent_action)
diff --git a/code/modules/antagonists/vampire/vampire_powers/hemomancer_powers.dm b/code/modules/antagonists/vampire/vampire_powers/hemomancer_powers.dm
index 3e7121129e1..2fb0c1cbb32 100644
--- a/code/modules/antagonists/vampire/vampire_powers/hemomancer_powers.dm
+++ b/code/modules/antagonists/vampire/vampire_powers/hemomancer_powers.dm
@@ -68,10 +68,7 @@
 		parent_spell = null
 	return ..()
 
-/obj/item/vamp_claws/customised_abstract_text()
-	if(!ishuman(loc))
-		return
-	var/mob/living/carbon/human/owner = loc
+/obj/item/vamp_claws/customised_abstract_text(mob/living/carbon/owner)
 	return "<span class='warning'>[owner.p_they(TRUE)] [owner.p_have(FALSE)] bloodied claws extending from [owner.p_their(FALSE)] wrists.</span>"
 
 /obj/item/vamp_claws/afterattack(atom/target, mob/user, proximity)
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/examine.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/examine.dm
index c8ea7731d5a..af45e81a29f 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/examine.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/examine.dm
@@ -176,7 +176,7 @@
 			msg += "<span class='warning'>[p_they(TRUE)] [p_are()] [bicon(legcuffed)] legcuffed!</span>\n"
 
 	for(var/obj/item/abstract_item in abstract_items)
-		var/text = abstract_item.customised_abstract_text()
+		var/text = abstract_item.customised_abstract_text(src)
 		if(!text)
 			continue
 		msg += "[text]\n"
diff --git a/code/modules/surgery/organs/augments_arms.dm b/code/modules/surgery/organs/augments_arms.dm
index 7105e36a56d..b60d8eab24c 100644
--- a/code/modules/surgery/organs/augments_arms.dm
+++ b/code/modules/surgery/organs/augments_arms.dm
@@ -497,10 +497,7 @@
 	var/disabled = FALSE
 	var/force_when_disabled = 5 //still basically a metal pipe, just hard to move
 
-/obj/item/shield/v1_arm/customised_abstract_text()
-	if(!ishuman(loc))
-		return
-	var/mob/living/carbon/human/owner = loc
+/obj/item/shield/v1_arm/customised_abstract_text(mob/living/carbon/owner)
 	return "<span class='warning'>[owner.p_their(TRUE)] [owner.l_hand == src ? "left arm" : "right arm"] is covered in metal.</span>"
 
 /obj/item/shield/v1_arm/emp_act(severity)