diff --git a/code/game/area/areas.dm b/code/game/area/areas.dm
index 85fbf52c0e6..e9feb17043e 100644
--- a/code/game/area/areas.dm
+++ b/code/game/area/areas.dm
@@ -436,6 +436,7 @@
 
 	var/mob/living/L = A
 	if(!L.ckey)	return
+	SEND_SIGNAL(L, COMSIG_AREA_ENTERED, newarea)
 	if((oldarea.has_gravity == 0) && (newarea.has_gravity == 1) && (L.m_intent == MOVE_INTENT_RUN)) // Being ready when you change areas gives you a chance to avoid falling all together.
 		thunk(L)
 
diff --git a/code/game/objects/items/hand_item.dm b/code/game/objects/items/hand_item.dm
index 228f6863c02..f0694a4cfdc 100644
--- a/code/game/objects/items/hand_item.dm
+++ b/code/game/objects/items/hand_item.dm
@@ -56,3 +56,22 @@
 		table_smacks_left--
 		if(table_smacks_left <= 0)
 			qdel(src)
+
+/obj/item/slapper/get_clamped_volume() //Without this, you would hear the slap twice if it has force.
+	return 0
+
+/obj/item/slapper/parry
+	desc = "This is how real men win fights."
+	force = 5
+	attack_verb = list("slapped", "backhanded", "smacked", "discombobulated")
+	table_smacks_left = 10 //Much more smackitude
+
+/obj/item/slapper/parry/Initialize(mapload)
+	AddComponent(/datum/component/parry, _stamina_constant = 2, _stamina_coefficient = 0.5, _parryable_attack_types = NON_PROJECTILE_ATTACKS, _parry_cooldown = (1 / 3) SECONDS) //75% uptime
+	return ..()
+
+/obj/item/slapper/parry/attack(mob/M, mob/living/carbon/human/user)
+	if(isliving(M))
+		var/mob/living/creature = M
+		creature.Confused(10 SECONDS) //SMACK CAM
+	return ..()
diff --git a/code/modules/martial_arts/cqc.dm b/code/modules/martial_arts/cqc.dm
index 99e6d4fa80e..c382abdb63b 100644
--- a/code/modules/martial_arts/cqc.dm
+++ b/code/modules/martial_arts/cqc.dm
@@ -1,6 +1,7 @@
 /datum/martial_art/cqc
 	name = "CQC"
 	has_explaination_verb = TRUE
+	can_parry = TRUE
 	combos = list(/datum/martial_combo/cqc/slam, /datum/martial_combo/cqc/kick, /datum/martial_combo/cqc/restrain, /datum/martial_combo/cqc/pressure, /datum/martial_combo/cqc/consecutive)
 	var/restraining = FALSE //used in cqc's disarm_act to check if the disarmed is being restrained and so whether they should be put in a chokehold or not
 	var/chokehold_active = FALSE //Then uses this to determine if the restrain actually goes anywhere
@@ -10,12 +11,40 @@
 /datum/martial_art/cqc/under_siege
 	name = "Close Quarters Cooking"
 
+/datum/martial_art/cqc/under_siege/teach(mob/living/carbon/human/H, make_temporary)
+	RegisterSignal(H, COMSIG_AREA_ENTERED, PROC_REF(kitchen_check))
+	return ..()
+
+/datum/martial_art/cqc/under_siege/remove(mob/living/carbon/human/H)
+	UnregisterSignal(H, COMSIG_AREA_ENTERED)
+	. = ..()
+
+/datum/martial_art/cqc/under_siege/proc/kitchen_check(mob/living/carbon/human/H, area/entered_area)
+	SIGNAL_HANDLER //COMSIG_AREA_ENTERED
+	if(!is_type_in_typecache(entered_area, areas_under_siege))
+		var/list/held_items = list(H.get_active_hand(), H.get_inactive_hand())
+		for(var/obj/item/slapper/parry/smacking_hand in held_items)
+			qdel(smacking_hand)
+		can_parry = FALSE
+	else
+		can_parry = TRUE
+
 /datum/martial_art/cqc/under_siege/can_use(mob/living/carbon/human/H)
 	var/area/A = get_area(H)
 	if(!(is_type_in_typecache(A, areas_under_siege)))
 		return FALSE
 	return ..()
 
+/datum/martial_art/cqc/teach(mob/living/carbon/human/H, make_temporary)
+	var/datum/action/defensive_stance/defensive = new /datum/action/defensive_stance()
+	defensive.Grant(H)
+	return ..()
+
+/datum/martial_art/cqc/remove(mob/living/carbon/human/H)
+	for(var/datum/action/defensive_stance/defensive in H.actions)
+		defensive.Remove(H)
+	return ..()
+
 /datum/martial_art/cqc/proc/drop_restraining()
 	restraining = FALSE
 
@@ -101,3 +130,6 @@
 
 /datum/martial_art/cqc/explaination_header(user)
 	to_chat(user, "<b><i>You try to remember some of the basics of CQC.</i></b>")
+
+/datum/martial_art/cqc/explaination_footer(user)
+	to_chat(user, "<b>Your slaps hit considerably harder, and allow you to parry incoming melee attacks.</b>")
diff --git a/code/modules/martial_arts/martial.dm b/code/modules/martial_arts/martial.dm
index 09f2ba5385d..b441814497b 100644
--- a/code/modules/martial_arts/martial.dm
+++ b/code/modules/martial_arts/martial.dm
@@ -31,6 +31,8 @@
 	var/last_hit = 0
 	/// If the user is preparing a martial arts stance.
 	var/in_stance = FALSE
+	/// If the martial art allows parrying.
+	var/can_parry = FALSE
 
 /datum/martial_art/New()
 	. = ..()
@@ -189,6 +191,25 @@
 /datum/martial_art/proc/try_deflect(mob/user)
 		return prob(deflection_chance)
 
+/datum/action/defensive_stance
+	name = "Defensive Stance - Ready yourself to be attacked, allowing you to parry incoming melee hits."
+	button_icon_state = "block"
+
+/datum/action/defensive_stance/Trigger()
+	var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = owner
+	var/datum/martial_art/MA = H.mind.martial_art //This should never be available to non-martial-arts users anyway
+	if(!MA.can_parry)
+		to_chat(H, "<span class='warning'>You can't parry right now.</span>")
+		return
+	if(H.incapacitated())
+		to_chat(H, "<span class='warning'>You can't defend yourself while you're incapacitated.</span>")
+		return
+	var/obj/item/slapper/parry/slap = new(H)
+	if(H.put_in_hands(slap))
+		H.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[H] assumes a defensive stance!</span>", "<b><i>You drop back into a defensive stance.</i></b>")
+	else
+		to_chat(H, "<span class='warning'>Your hands are full.</span>")
+
 //ITEMS
 
 /obj/item/clothing/gloves/boxing
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_emote.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_emote.dm
index a5ad06e4e3e..1de8e23cf0a 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_emote.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/human_emote.dm
@@ -260,11 +260,14 @@
 	. = ..()
 	if(!.)
 		return FALSE
-	var/obj/item/slapper/N = new(user)
-	if(user.put_in_hands(N))
+	var/obj/item/slapper/smacking_hand
+	if(user.mind && user.mind.martial_art?.can_parry)
+		smacking_hand = new /obj/item/slapper/parry(user)
+	else
+		smacking_hand = new /obj/item/slapper(user)
+	if(user.put_in_hands(smacking_hand))
 		to_chat(user, "<span class='notice'>You ready your slapping hand.</span>")
 	else
-		qdel(N)
 		to_chat(user, "<span class='warning'>You're incapable of slapping in your current state.</span>")
 
 /datum/emote/living/carbon/human/wink
diff --git a/icons/mob/actions/actions.dmi b/icons/mob/actions/actions.dmi
index 0f92874839f..e8352642b14 100644
Binary files a/icons/mob/actions/actions.dmi and b/icons/mob/actions/actions.dmi differ