diff --git a/code/modules/projectiles/projectile/change.dm b/code/modules/projectiles/projectile/change.dm
index 26a5ca1f42d..676aaac977b 100644
--- a/code/modules/projectiles/projectile/change.dm
+++ b/code/modules/projectiles/projectile/change.dm
@@ -29,25 +29,162 @@
 			if("monkey")
 				if (M.monkeyizing)
 					return
-				if(istype(M,/mob/living/carbon/human))
-					M:monkeyize()
+				M.update_clothing()
+				M.monkeyizing = 1
+				M.canmove = 0
+				M.icon = null
+				M.invisibility = 101
+				var/mob/living/carbon/monkey/O = new /mob/living/carbon/monkey( M.loc )
+				O.name = "monkey"
+				if (M.client)
+					M.client.mob = O
+				if(M.mind)
+					M.mind.transfer_to(O)
+				O.a_intent = "hurt"
+				O.universal_speak = 1
+				O << "<B>You are now a monkey.</B>"
+				del(M)
+				return O
 			if("robot")
 				if (M.monkeyizing)
 					return
-				if(istype(M,/mob/living/carbon/human))
-					M:Robotize()
+				M.update_clothing()
+				M.monkeyizing = 1
+				M.canmove = 0
+				M.icon = null
+				M.invisibility = 101
+				if(M.client)
+					M.client.screen -= M.hud_used.contents
+					M.client.screen -= M.hud_used.adding
+					M.client.screen -= M.hud_used.mon_blo
+					M.client.screen -= list( M.oxygen, M.throw_icon, M.i_select, M.m_select, M.toxin, M.internals, M.fire, M.hands, M.healths, M.pullin, M.blind, M.flash, M.rest, M.sleep, M.mach )
+					M.client.screen -= list( M.zone_sel, M.oxygen, M.throw_icon, M.i_select, M.m_select, M.toxin, M.internals, M.fire, M.hands, M.healths, M.pullin, M.blind, M.flash, M.rest, M.sleep, M.mach )
+
+				var/mob/living/silicon/robot/O = new /mob/living/silicon/robot( M.loc )
+				O.cell = new(O)
+				O.cell.maxcharge = 7500
+				O.cell.charge = 7500
+				O.gender = M.gender
+				O.invisibility = 0
+				O.name = "Cyborg"
+				O.real_name = "Cyborg"
+				if (M.mind)
+					M.mind.transfer_to(O)
+					if (M.mind.assigned_role == "Cyborg")
+						M.mind.original = O
+					else if (M.mind.special_role) O.mind.store_memory("In case you look at this after being borged, the objectives are only here until I find a way to make them not show up for you, as I can't simply delete them without screwing up round-end reporting. --NeoFite")
+				else
+					M.mind = new /datum/mind(  )
+					M.mind.key = M.key
+					M.mind.current = O
+					M.mind.original = O
+					M.mind.transfer_to(O)
+
+				if(!(O.mind in ticker.minds))
+					ticker.minds += O.mind//Adds them to regular mind list.
+
+				O.loc = loc
+				O << "<B>You are playing a Robot. A Robot can interact with most electronic objects in its view point.</B>"
+				O << "<B>You must follow the laws that the AI has. You are the AI's assistant to the station basically.</B>"
+				O << "To use something, simply double-click it."
+				O << {"Use say ":s to speak to fellow cyborgs and the AI through binary."}
+
+				O.job = "Cyborg"
+
+				O.mmi = new /obj/item/device/mmi(O)
+				O.mmi.transfer_identity(M)//Does not transfer key/client.
+				del(M)
+				return O
 			if("metroid")
 				if (M.monkeyizing)
 					return
-				if(istype(M,/mob/living/carbon/human))
-					M:Metroidize()
+				M.update_clothing()
+				M.monkeyizing = 1
+				M.canmove = 0
+				M.icon = null
+				M.invisibility = 101
+				if(prob(50))
+					var/mob/living/carbon/metroid/adult/new_metroid = new /mob/living/carbon/metroid/adult (M.loc)
+					if (M.client)
+						M.client.mob = new_metroid
+					if(M.mind)
+						M.mind.transfer_to(new_metroid)
+
+					new_metroid.a_intent = "hurt"
+					new_metroid << "<B>You are now an adult Metroid.</B>"
+					new_metroid.universal_speak = 1
+					del(M)
+					return new_metroid
+				else
+					var/mob/living/carbon/metroid/new_metroid = new /mob/living/carbon/metroid (M.loc)
+					if (M.client)
+						M.client.mob = new_metroid
+					if(M.mind)
+						M.mind.transfer_to(new_metroid)
+					new_metroid.a_intent = "hurt"
+					new_metroid.universal_speak = 1
+					new_metroid << "<B>You are now a baby Metroid.</B>"
+					del(M)
+					return new_metroid
 			if("alien")
 				if (M.monkeyizing)
 					return
-				if(istype(M,/mob/living/carbon/human))
-					M:Alienize()
+				M.update_clothing()
+				M.monkeyizing = 1
+				M.canmove = 0
+				M.icon = null
+				M.invisibility = 101
+				var/alien_caste = pick("Hunter","Sentinel","Drone")
+				var/mob/living/carbon/alien/humanoid/new_xeno
+				switch(alien_caste)
+					if("Hunter")
+						new_xeno = new /mob/living/carbon/alien/humanoid/hunter (M.loc)
+					if("Sentinel")
+						new_xeno = new /mob/living/carbon/alien/humanoid/sentinel (M.loc)
+					if("Drone")
+						new_xeno = new /mob/living/carbon/alien/humanoid/drone (M.loc)
+				if (M.client)
+					M.client.mob = new_xeno
+				if(M.mind)
+					M.mind.transfer_to(new_xeno)
+				new_xeno.a_intent = "hurt"
+				new_xeno.universal_speak = 1
+				new_xeno << "<B>You are now an alien.</B>"
+				del(M)
+				return new_xeno
 			if("human")
 				if (M.monkeyizing)
-					return
+					return
+				M.update_clothing()
+				M.monkeyizing = 1
+				M.canmove = 0
+				M.icon = null
+				M.invisibility = 101
+				var/mob/living/carbon/human/O = new /mob/living/carbon/human( M.loc )
+
+				var/first = pick(first_names_male)
+				var/last = pick(last_names)
+				O.name = "[first] [last]"
+				O.real_name = "[first] [last]"
+				var/race = pick("lizard","golem","metroid","plant","normal")
+				switch(race)
+					if("lizard")
+						O.mutantrace = "lizard"
+					if("golem")
+						O.mutantrace = "golem"
+					if("metroid")
+						O.mutantrace = "metroid"
+					if("plant")
+						O.mutantrace = "plant"
+					if("normal")
+						O.mutantrace = ""
+				if (M.client)
+					M.client.mob = O
+				if(M.mind)
+					M.mind.transfer_to(O)
+				O.a_intent = "hurt"
+				O << "<B>You are now a human.</B>"
+				del(M)
+				return O
 		return