diff --git a/code/modules/customitems/item_defines.dm b/code/modules/customitems/item_defines.dm
index c7b9b3abdb6..6d79743e738 100644
--- a/code/modules/customitems/item_defines.dm
+++ b/code/modules/customitems/item_defines.dm
@@ -306,6 +306,27 @@
 	icon_state = "beret_hos"
 	item_state = "beret_hos"
 
+/obj/item/clothing/head/pirate/fluff/stumpy //MrFroztee: Stumpy
+	name = "The Sobriety Skullcap"
+	desc = "A hat suited for the king of the pirates"
+	icon_state = "pirate"
+	item_state = "pirate"
+
+/obj/item/clothing/head/pirate/fluff/stumpy/New()
+	..()
+	processing_objects.Add(src)
+
+/obj/item/clothing/head/pirate/fluff/stumpy/Destroy()
+	processing_objects.Remove(src)
+	return ..()
+
+/obj/item/clothing/head/pirate/fluff/stumpy/process()
+	if(istype(loc, /mob/living/carbon/human))
+		var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = loc
+		if(H.head == src)
+			H.drunk = 0 //never get drunk
+			H.slurring = 3 //always slur
+
 //////////// Suits ////////////
 /obj/item/clothing/suit/storage/labcoat/fluff/aeneas_rinil //Socialsystem: Lynn Fea
 	name = "Robotics labcoat"
diff --git a/icons/obj/clothing/hats.dmi b/icons/obj/clothing/hats.dmi
index 25ec0162866..9300bec995d 100644
Binary files a/icons/obj/clothing/hats.dmi and b/icons/obj/clothing/hats.dmi differ