diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/alcohol.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/alcohol.dm
index fe224331f71..232032fd9e7 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/alcohol.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/alcohol.dm
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@
 	can_grow_in_plants = 0	//Alcoholic drinks won't be grown in plants (would "water down" random seed chems too much)
 	var/dizzy_adj = 3
 	var/alcohol_perc = 1 //percentage of ethanol in a beverage 0.0 - 1.0
-	taste_message = "strong alcohol"
+	taste_message = "liquid fire"
 
 /datum/reagent/consumable/ethanol/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	M.AdjustDrunk(alcohol_perc)
@@ -75,7 +75,7 @@
 	description = "Just when you thought regular station whiskey was good... This silky, amber goodness has to come along and ruin everything."
 	color = "#664300" // rgb: 102, 67, 0
 	alcohol_perc = 0.5
-	taste_message = "pure class"
+	taste_message = "class"
 
 /datum/reagent/consumable/ethanol/gin
 	name = "Gin"
@@ -423,7 +423,7 @@
 	drink_icon = "gargleblasterglass"
 	drink_name = "Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster"
 	drink_desc = "Does... does this mean that Arthur and Ford are on the station? Oh joy."
-	taste_message = "the number fourty-two, somehow"
+	taste_message = "the number fourty two"
 
 /datum/reagent/consumable/ethanol/brave_bull
 	name = "Brave Bull"
@@ -474,6 +474,7 @@
 	color = "#664300" // rgb: 102, 67, 0
 	alcohol_perc = 0.5
 	drink_icon = "beepskysmashglass"
+	description = "Whiskey-imbued cream, what else would you expect from the Irish."
 	drink_name = "Beepsky Smash"
 	drink_desc = "Heavy, hot and strong. Just like the Iron fist of the LAW."
 	taste_message = "THE LAW"
@@ -485,7 +486,6 @@
 /datum/reagent/consumable/ethanol/irish_cream
 	name = "Irish Cream"
 	id = "irishcream"
-	description = "Whiskey-imbued cream, what else would you expect from the Irish."
 	reagent_state = LIQUID
 	color = "#664300" // rgb: 102, 67, 0
 	alcohol_perc = 0.3
@@ -528,7 +528,7 @@
 	drink_icon = "glass_clear"
 	drink_name = "Moonshine"
 	drink_desc = "You've really hit rock bottom now... your liver packed its bags and left last night."
-	taste_message = "the proletaryat"
+	taste_message = "prohibition"
 
 /datum/reagent/consumable/ethanol/b52
 	name = "B-52"
@@ -746,7 +746,7 @@
 	drink_icon = "devilskiss"
 	drink_name = "Devils Kiss"
 	drink_desc = "Creepy time!"
-	taste_message = "blood mixed with alcohol"
+	taste_message = "blood"
 
 /datum/reagent/consumable/ethanol/red_mead
 	name = "Red Mead"
@@ -758,7 +758,7 @@
 	drink_icon = "red_meadglass"
 	drink_name = "Red Mead"
 	drink_desc = "A True Vikings Beverage, though its color is strange."
-	taste_message = "blood mixed with alcohol"
+	taste_message = "blood"
 
 /datum/reagent/consumable/ethanol/mead
 	name = "Mead"
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/food.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/food.dm
index 72e30fef570..ef45cc1a6f3 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/food.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/food.dm
@@ -718,7 +718,7 @@
 	description = "An advanced blend of mechanically-recovered meat and textured synthesized protein product notable for its unusual crystalline grain when sliced."
 	reagent_state = SOLID
 	color = "#AC7E67"
-	taste_message = "meat - hopefully"
+	taste_message = "meat"
 
 /datum/reagent/consumable/beff/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	if(prob(5))
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/misc.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/misc.dm
index c9a6be0a7bf..e0e1854b866 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/misc.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/misc.dm
@@ -124,7 +124,7 @@
 	description = "A silvery white and ductile member of the boron group of chemical elements."
 	reagent_state = SOLID
 	color = "#A8A8A8" // rgb: 168, 168, 168
-	taste_message = "metal"
+	taste_message = null
 
 
 /datum/reagent/silicon
@@ -133,7 +133,7 @@
 	description = "A tetravalent metalloid, silicon is less reactive than its chemical analog carbon."
 	reagent_state = SOLID
 	color = "#A8A8A8" // rgb: 168, 168, 168
-	taste_message = "metal"
+	taste_message = "a CPU"
 
 
 /datum/reagent/copper
@@ -388,7 +388,7 @@
 	description = "Hugs, in liquid form.  Yes, the concept of a hug.  As a liquid.  This makes sense in the future."
 	reagent_state = LIQUID
 	color = "#FF97B9"
-	taste_message = "hugs; awww"
+	taste_message = "<font color='pink'><b>hugs</b></font>"
 
 /datum/reagent/love
 	name = "Pure love"
@@ -396,7 +396,7 @@
 	description = "What is this emotion you humans call \"love?\"  Oh, it's this?  This is it? Huh, well okay then, thanks."
 	reagent_state = LIQUID
 	color = "#FF83A5"
-	taste_message = "love; awwwwwww"
+	taste_message = "<font color='pink'><b>love</b></font>"
 
 /datum/reagent/love/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	if(M.a_intent == I_HARM)
@@ -438,7 +438,7 @@
 	description = "A commercial chemical designed to help older men in the bedroom." //not really it just makes you a giant
 	color = "#ff0000"//strong red. rgb 255, 0, 0
 	var/current_size = 1
-	taste_message = "power!"
+	taste_message = "enhancement"
 
 /datum/reagent/growthserum/on_mob_life(mob/living/carbon/H)
 	var/newsize = current_size
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/pyrotechnic.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/pyrotechnic.dm
index 0d9d7cfbc95..5040b3136e5 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/pyrotechnic.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/pyrotechnic.dm
@@ -45,7 +45,7 @@
 	reagent_state = SOLID
 	color = "#673910" // rgb: 103, 57, 16
 	process_flags = ORGANIC | SYNTHETIC
-	taste_message = "metal"
+	taste_message = "rust"
 
 /datum/reagent/thermite/reaction_turf(turf/simulated/wall/W, volume)
 	if(volume >= 5 && istype(W))
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/toxins.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/toxins.dm
index 935fda3691d..63bce7d68ea 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/toxins.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/toxins.dm
@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@
 	description = "A gooey semi-liquid produced from one of the deadliest lifeforms in existence. SO REAL."
 	reagent_state = LIQUID
 	color = "#801E28" // rgb: 128, 30, 40
-	taste_message = "slimes?"
+	taste_message = "slimes"
 
 /datum/reagent/slimejelly/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	if(prob(10))
@@ -188,6 +188,7 @@
 	description = "A silvery-white metallic chemical element in the actinide series, weakly radioactive."
 	reagent_state = SOLID
 	color = "#B8B8C0" // rgb: 184, 184, 192
+	taste_message = null
 
 /datum/reagent/uranium/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	M.apply_effect(2, IRRADIATE, negate_armor = 1)
@@ -254,10 +255,6 @@
 	if(method == INGEST)
 		if(ishuman(M))
 			var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = M
-
-			if(volume < 10)
-				to_chat(M, "<span class='danger'>The greenish acidic substance stings you, but isn't concentrated enough to harm you!</span>")
-
 			if(volume >=10 && volume <=25)
 				if(!H.unacidable)
 					M.take_organ_damage(0,min(max(volume-10,2)*2,20))
@@ -706,6 +703,7 @@
 	color = "#5F8BE1"
 	metabolization_rate = 0.7
 	can_synth = 0
+	taste_message = null
 
 /datum/reagent/sodium_thiopental/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	switch(current_cycle)
@@ -734,8 +732,8 @@
 	metabolization_rate = 0.8
 	penetrates_skin = 1
 	can_synth = 0
-
 	taste_message = null
+
 /datum/reagent/ketamine/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	switch(current_cycle)
 		if(1 to 5)
@@ -784,6 +782,7 @@
 	description = "A toxin produced by certain mushrooms. Very deadly."
 	reagent_state = LIQUID
 	color = "#D9D9D9"
+	taste_message = null
 
 /datum/reagent/amanitin/on_mob_delete(mob/living/M)
 	M.adjustToxLoss(current_cycle*rand(2,4))
@@ -796,7 +795,7 @@
 	reagent_state = SOLID
 	color = "#D1DED1"
 	metabolization_rate = 0.2
-	taste_message = "puke"
+	taste_message = "battery acid"
 
 /datum/reagent/lipolicide/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	if(!M.nutrition)
@@ -998,6 +997,7 @@
 	reagent_state = LIQUID
 	color = "#60A584"
 	heart_rate_stop = 1
+	taste_message = "sweetness"
 
 /datum/reagent/capulettium/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	switch(current_cycle)
@@ -1021,6 +1021,7 @@
 	reagent_state = LIQUID
 	color = "#60A584"
 	heart_rate_stop = 1
+	taste_message = "sweetness"
 
 /datum/reagent/capulettium_plus/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	M.Silence(2)
@@ -1079,7 +1080,7 @@
 	reagent_state = SOLID
 	color = "#993333"
 	process_flags = ORGANIC | SYNTHETIC
-	taste_message = "<span class='warning'>ANTS; OH GOD!</span>"
+	taste_message = "<span class='warning'>ANTS OH GOD</span>"
 
 /datum/reagent/ants/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	M.adjustBruteLoss(2)
@@ -1101,7 +1102,7 @@
 	metabolization_rate = 0.2
 	var/shock_timer = 0
 	process_flags = ORGANIC | SYNTHETIC
-	taste_message = "electrons"
+	taste_message = "electricity"
 
 /datum/reagent/teslium/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	shock_timer++
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/water.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/water.dm
index f32038a0b3f..33aedce7222 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/water.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/water.dm
@@ -410,6 +410,7 @@
 	description = "Also known as sodium hydroxide."
 	reagent_state = LIQUID
 	color = "#FFFFD6" // very very light yellow
+	taste_message = "<span class='userdanger'>ACID</span>"//don't drink lye, kids
 
 /datum/reagent/drying_agent
 	name = "Drying agent"