diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/alcohol.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/alcohol.dm
index d2fb4eec567..6c22360face 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/alcohol.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/alcohol.dm
@@ -765,7 +765,7 @@
 /datum/reagent/consumable/ethanol/sbiten/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	if(M.bodytemperature < 360)
 		M.bodytemperature = min(360, M.bodytemperature + (50 * TEMPERATURE_DAMAGE_COEFFICIENT)) //310 is the normal bodytemp. 310.055
-	..()
+	return ..()
 
 /datum/reagent/consumable/ethanol/devilskiss
 	name = "Devils Kiss"
@@ -819,7 +819,7 @@
 /datum/reagent/consumable/ethanol/iced_beer/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	if(M.bodytemperature > 270)
 		M.bodytemperature = max(270, M.bodytemperature - (20 * TEMPERATURE_DAMAGE_COEFFICIENT)) //310 is the normal bodytemp. 310.055
-	..()
+	return ..()
 
 /datum/reagent/consumable/ethanol/grog
 	name = "Grog"
@@ -1178,7 +1178,7 @@
 		if(prob(25))
 			holder.remove_reagent(id, 15)
 			M.fakevomit()
-	..()
+	return ..()
 
 /datum/reagent/consumable/ethanol/synthanol/reaction_mob(mob/living/M, method=TOUCH, volume)
 	if(M.isSynthetic())
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/drink_cold.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/drink_cold.dm
index 8e902f014f3..707aab07b54 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/drink_cold.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/drink_cold.dm
@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@
 
 /datum/reagent/consumable/drink/cold/ice/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	M.bodytemperature = max(M.bodytemperature - 5 * TEMPERATURE_DAMAGE_COEFFICIENT, 0)
-	..()
+	return ..()
 
 /datum/reagent/consumable/drink/cold/space_cola
 	name = "Cola"
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/food.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/food.dm
index 3f21593a44e..9b1aca91f8d 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/food.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/food.dm
@@ -448,7 +448,7 @@
 /datum/reagent/consumable/egg/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	if(prob(3))
 		M.reagents.add_reagent("cholesterol", rand(1,2))
-	..()
+	return ..()
 
 /datum/reagent/consumable/corn_starch
 	name = "Corn Starch"
@@ -643,9 +643,6 @@
 	color = "#684435"
 	taste_message = "burritos"
 
-/datum/reagent/consumable/beans/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
-	return ..()
-
 /datum/reagent/consumable/bread
 	name = "Bread"
 	id = "bread"
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/medicine.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/medicine.dm
index 7d711cbadb1..d9c1591a4dc 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/medicine.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/medicine.dm
@@ -5,6 +5,7 @@
 /datum/reagent/medicine/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	current_cycle++
 	holder.remove_reagent(id, (metabolization_rate / M.metabolism_efficiency) * M.digestion_ratio) //medicine reagents stay longer if you have a better metabolism
+	return STATUS_UPDATE_NONE
 
 /datum/reagent/medicine/hydrocodone
 	name = "Hydrocodone"
@@ -526,6 +527,7 @@
 	taste_message = "a delightful numbing"
 
 /datum/reagent/medicine/morphine/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
+	var/update_flags = STATUS_UPDATE_NONE
 	M.AdjustJitter(-25)
 	switch(current_cycle)
 		if(1 to 15)
@@ -534,9 +536,9 @@
 		if(16 to 35)
 			M.Drowsy(20)
 		if(36 to INFINITY)
-			M.Paralyse(15)
+			update_flags |= M.Paralyse(15, FALSE)
 			M.Drowsy(20)
-	..()
+	return ..() | update_flags
 
 /datum/reagent/medicine/oculine
 	name = "Oculine"
@@ -759,7 +761,7 @@
 		if(ishuman(M))
 			var/mob/living/carbon/human/H = M
 			H.update_mutations()
-	..()
+	return ..()
 
 /datum/reagent/medicine/antihol
 	name = "Antihol"
@@ -857,6 +859,7 @@
 
 /datum/reagent/medicine/insulin/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
 	M.reagents.remove_reagent("sugar", 5)
+	return ..()
 
 /datum/reagent/medicine/teporone
 	name = "Teporone"
@@ -873,7 +876,7 @@
 		M.bodytemperature = max(310, M.bodytemperature - (40 * TEMPERATURE_DAMAGE_COEFFICIENT))
 	else if(M.bodytemperature < 311)
 		M.bodytemperature = min(310, M.bodytemperature + (40 * TEMPERATURE_DAMAGE_COEFFICIENT))
-	..()
+	return ..()
 
 /datum/reagent/medicine/haloperidol
 	name = "Haloperidol"
@@ -916,6 +919,7 @@
 	taste_message = "sleepiness"
 
 /datum/reagent/medicine/ether/on_mob_life(mob/living/M)
+	var/update_flags = STATUS_UPDATE_NONE
 	M.AdjustJitter(-25)
 	switch(current_cycle)
 		if(1 to 30)
@@ -924,9 +928,9 @@
 		if(31 to 40)
 			M.Drowsy(20)
 		if(41 to INFINITY)
-			M.Paralyse(15)
+			update_flags |= M.Paralyse(15, FALSE)
 			M.Drowsy(20)
-	..()
+	return ..() | update_flags
 
 /datum/reagent/medicine/syndicate_nanites //Used exclusively by Syndicate medical cyborgs
 	name = "Restorative Nanites"
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/misc.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/misc.dm
index 9277ba33fd9..7d92080ae6b 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/misc.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/misc.dm
@@ -162,7 +162,7 @@
 		if(!H.dna.species.exotic_blood && !(NO_BLOOD in H.dna.species.species_traits))
 			if(H.blood_volume < BLOOD_VOLUME_NORMAL)
 				H.blood_volume += 0.8
-	..()
+	return ..()
 
 /datum/reagent/iron/reaction_mob(mob/living/M, method=TOUCH, volume)
 	if(M.has_bane(BANE_IRON) && holder && holder.chem_temp < 150) //If the target is weak to cold iron, then poison them.
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/paradise_pop.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/paradise_pop.dm
index 204848e1fe9..2294088e54a 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/paradise_pop.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/paradise_pop.dm
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@
 		var/turf/simulated/T = get_turf(M)
 		goonchem_vortex(T, 1, 0)
 		to_chat(M, "<span class='notice'>You briefly feel super-massive, like a black hole. Probably just your imagination...</span>")
-	..()
+	return ..()
 
 //Berry Banned: This one is tasty and safe to drink, might have a low chance of healing a random damage type?
 /datum/reagent/consumable/drink/berry_banned
diff --git a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/toxins.dm b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/toxins.dm
index 76be206f35f..d337d2a421b 100644
--- a/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/toxins.dm
+++ b/code/modules/reagents/chemistry/reagents/toxins.dm
@@ -1156,12 +1156,16 @@
 	M.apply_effect(2, IRRADIATE, 0, negate_armor = 1)
 	if(!M.dna)
 		return
+	var/did_mutation = FALSE
 	if(prob(15))
 		randmutb(M)
+		did_mutation = TRUE
 	if(prob(3))
 		randmutg(M)
-	domutcheck(M, null)
-	M.UpdateAppearance()
+		did_mutation = TRUE
+	if(did_mutation)
+		domutcheck(M, null)
+		M.UpdateAppearance()
 	return ..()
 
 /datum/reagent/ants