diff --git a/code/__HELPERS/global_lists.dm b/code/__HELPERS/global_lists.dm
index f4e9ef1133d..1c1639d676d 100644
--- a/code/__HELPERS/global_lists.dm
+++ b/code/__HELPERS/global_lists.dm
@@ -37,12 +37,6 @@
 		surgery_steps += S
 	sort_surgeries()
 
-	//Medical side effects. List all effects by their names
-	paths = typesof(/datum/medical_effect)-/datum/medical_effect
-	for(var/T in paths)
-		var/datum/medical_effect/M = new T
-		side_effects[M.name] = T
-
 	//List of job. I can't believe this was calculated multiple times per tick!
 	paths = typesof(/datum/job) -list(/datum/job,/datum/job/ai,/datum/job/cyborg)
 	for(var/T in paths)
diff --git a/code/datums/medical_effects.dm b/code/datums/medical_effects.dm
deleted file mode 100644
index d6392582ef1..00000000000
--- a/code/datums/medical_effects.dm
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,147 +0,0 @@
-// MEDICAL SIDE EFFECT BASE
-// ========================
-/datum/medical_effect
-	var/name = "None"
-	var/strength = 0
-	var/start = 0
-	var/list/triggers
-	var/list/cures
-	var/cure_message
-
-/datum/medical_effect/proc/manifest(mob/living/carbon/human/H)
-	for(var/R in cures)
-		if(H.reagents.has_reagent(R))
-			return 0
-	for(var/R in triggers)
-		if(H.reagents.get_reagent_amount(R) >= triggers[R])
-			return 1
-	return 0
-
-/datum/medical_effect/proc/on_life(mob/living/carbon/human/H, strength)
-	return
-
-/datum/medical_effect/proc/cure(mob/living/carbon/human/H)
-	for(var/R in cures)
-		if(H.reagents.has_reagent(R))
-			if (cure_message)
-				H <<"\blue [cure_message]"
-			return 1
-	return 0
-
-// MOB HELPERS
-// ===========
-/mob/living/carbon/human/var/list/datum/medical_effect/side_effects = list()
-/mob/proc/add_side_effect(name, strength = 0)
-/mob/living/carbon/human/add_side_effect(name, strength = 0)
-	for(var/datum/medical_effect/M in src.side_effects)
-		if(M.name == name)
-			M.strength = max(M.strength, 10)
-			M.start = life_tick
-			return
-
-	var/T = side_effects[name]
-	if (!T)
-		return
-
-	var/datum/medical_effect/M = new T
-	if(M.name == name)
-		M.strength = strength
-		M.start = life_tick
-		side_effects += M
-
-/mob/living/carbon/human/proc/handle_medical_side_effects()
-	//Going to handle those things only every few ticks.
-	if(life_tick % 15 != 0)
-		return 0
-
-	var/list/L = typesof(/datum/medical_effect)-/datum/medical_effect
-	for(var/T in L)
-		var/datum/medical_effect/M = new T
-		if (M.manifest(src))
-			src.add_side_effect(M.name)
-
-	// One full cycle(in terms of strength) every 10 minutes
-	for (var/datum/medical_effect/M in side_effects)
-		if (!M) continue
-		var/strength_percent = sin((life_tick - M.start) / 2)
-
-		// Only do anything if the effect is currently strong enough
-		if(strength_percent >= 0.4)
-			if (M.cure(src) || M.strength > 50)
-				side_effects -= M
-				M = null
-			else
-				if(life_tick % 45 == 0)
-					M.on_life(src, strength_percent*M.strength)
-				// Effect slowly growing stronger
-				M.strength+=0.08
-
-// HEADACHE
-// ========
-/datum/medical_effect/headache
-	name = "Headache"
-	triggers = list("cryoxadone" = 10)
-	cures = list("mannitol", "morphine", "sal_acid", "hydrocodone")
-	cure_message = "Your head stops throbbing..."
-
-/datum/medical_effect/headache/on_life(mob/living/carbon/human/H, strength)
-	switch(strength)
-		if(1 to 10)
-			H.custom_pain("You feel a light pain in your head.",0)
-		if(11 to 30)
-			H.custom_pain("You feel a throbbing pain in your head!",1)
-		if(31 to INFINITY)
-			H.custom_pain("You feel an excrutiating pain in your head!",1)
-
-// BAD STOMACH
-// ===========
-/datum/medical_effect/bad_stomach
-	name = "Bad Stomach"
-	triggers = list()
-	cures = list()
-	cure_message = "Your stomach feels a little better now..."
-
-/datum/medical_effect/bad_stomach/on_life(mob/living/carbon/human/H, strength)
-	switch(strength)
-		if(1 to 10)
-			H.custom_pain("You feel a bit light around the stomach.",0)
-		if(11 to 30)
-			H.custom_pain("Your stomach hurts.",0)
-		if(31 to INFINITY)
-			H.custom_pain("You feel sick.",1)
-
-// CRAMPS
-// ======
-/datum/medical_effect/cramps
-	name = "Cramps"
-	triggers = list("morphine" = 15)
-	cures = list("epinephrine")
-	cure_message = "The cramps let up..."
-
-/datum/medical_effect/cramps/on_life(mob/living/carbon/human/H, strength)
-	switch(strength)
-		if(1 to 10)
-			H.custom_pain("The muscles in your body hurt a little.",0)
-		if(11 to 30)
-			H.custom_pain("The muscles in your body cramp up painfully.",0)
-		if(31 to INFINITY)
-			H.emote("me",1,"flinches as all the muscles in their body cramp up.")
-			H.custom_pain("There's pain all over your body.",1)
-
-// ITCH
-// ====
-/datum/medical_effect/itch
-	name = "Itch"
-	triggers = list("space_drugs" = 10)
-	cures = list("epinephrine")
-	cure_message = "The itching stops..."
-
-/datum/medical_effect/itch/on_life(mob/living/carbon/human/H, strength)
-	switch(strength)
-		if(1 to 10)
-			H.custom_pain("You feel a slight itch.",0)
-		if(11 to 30)
-			H.custom_pain("You want to scratch your itch badly.",0)
-		if(31 to INFINITY)
-			H.emote("me",1,"shivers slightly.")
-			H.custom_pain("This itch makes it really hard to concentrate.",1)
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/code/game/machinery/cloning.dm b/code/game/machinery/cloning.dm
index f3fd4eba26d..08e60558d38 100644
--- a/code/game/machinery/cloning.dm
+++ b/code/game/machinery/cloning.dm
@@ -447,7 +447,6 @@
 	src.icon_state = "pod_0"
 	src.eject_wait = 0 //If it's still set somehow.
 	domutcheck(src.occupant) //Waiting until they're out before possible notransform.
-	src.occupant.add_side_effect("Bad Stomach") // Give them an extra side-effect for free.
 	src.occupant = null
 
 	return
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/life.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/life.dm
index 2cbe1e9f8ce..951e9f03563 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/life.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/human/life.dm
@@ -118,8 +118,6 @@ var/global/list/brutefireloss_overlays = list("1" = image("icon" = 'icons/mob/sc
 
 		handle_pain()
 
-		handle_medical_side_effects()
-
 		handle_heartbeat()
 
 		handle_heartattack()
diff --git a/paradise.dme b/paradise.dme
index 34f32f368a8..9e9c95e47c4 100644
--- a/paradise.dme
+++ b/paradise.dme
@@ -166,7 +166,6 @@
 #include "code\datums\datumvars.dm"
 #include "code\datums\gas_mixture.dm"
 #include "code\datums\martial.dm"
-#include "code\datums\medical_effects.dm"
 #include "code\datums\mind.dm"
 #include "code\datums\mixed.dm"
 #include "code\datums\modules.dm"