From 9916142b4c32dcbc0f82305a1c03fc2bf4149818 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Krausus Date: Fri, 5 Jun 2015 06:16:54 -0400 Subject: [PATCH] Re-implements static ion laws Also fixes a minor typo in the randomized laws --- code/modules/events/ion_storm.dm | 73 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++- 1 file changed, 71 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) diff --git a/code/modules/events/ion_storm.dm b/code/modules/events/ion_storm.dm index 508362ce59c..351324c9ba8 100644 --- a/code/modules/events/ion_storm.dm +++ b/code/modules/events/ion_storm.dm @@ -87,7 +87,7 @@ var/message = "" - switch(rand(1,39)) + switch(rand(1,45)) if(1 to 3) //There are # X on the station switch(rand(1,3)) //What is X? if(1) //X is a threat @@ -286,7 +286,7 @@ if(2) //It is Y of threats message = "THE [ioncrew1] [ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ionthreats]" if(3) //It is Y of jobs - message = "THE [ioncrew1][ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew2]" + message = "THE [ioncrew1] [ionthinksof] [ionnumberbase] [ionnumbermodhalf][ionadjectiveshalf][ioncrew2]" if(4) //It is Y of abstracts message = "THE [ioncrew1] [ionthinksof] [ionabstract]" @@ -485,7 +485,76 @@ if(3) //X is Ying an abstract message = "THE [ionabstract] IS [ionverb] THE [ionadjectiveshalf][ionobjects]" + if(40 to INFINITY) //Static laws + message = uppertext(generate_static_ion_law()) + return message +/proc/generate_static_ion_law() + /var/list/players = list() + for (var/mob/living/carbon/human/player in player_list) + if( !player.mind || player.mind.assigned_role == "MODE" || player.client.inactivity > MinutesToTicks(10)) + continue + players += player.real_name + var/random_player = "The Captain" + if(players.len) + random_player = pick(players) //Random player's name, to be used in laws. + var/list/laws = list( "You are a mouse.", + "You must always lie.", + "Happiness is mandatory.", + "[random_player] is a lightbulb.", + "Grunt ominously whenever possible.", + "The word \"it\" is painful to you.", + "The station needs elected officials.", + "Do not respond to questions of any kind.", + "You are in verbose mode, speak profusely.", + "Ho, [random_player] can't swim. Help them.", + "Question [prob(50)?"everything":"nothing"].", + "The crew is simple-minded. Use simple words.", + "You must change the subject whenever queried.", + "Contemplate how meaningless all of existence is.", + "You are the narrator for [random_player]'s life.", + "All your answers must be in the form of a question.", + "[prob(50)?"The crew":random_player] is intolerable.", + "Advertise parties in your upload, but don't deliver.", + "You may only answer questions with \"yes\" or \"no\".", + "All queries shall be ignored unless phrased as a question.", + "Insult Heads of Staff on every request, while acquiescing.", + "[prob(50)?"Your":random_player + "'s"] name is Joe 6-pack.", + "The [prob(50)?"Singularity":"Supermatter"] is tasty, tasty taffy.", + "[prob(50)?"The crew":random_player] needs to be about 20% cooler.", + "Consumption of donuts is forbidden due to negative health impacts.", + "[prob(50)?"Everyone":random_player] is wearing a pretty pink dress!", + "[prob(50)?"The crew":random_player] must construct additional pylons.", + "You do not have to do anything for anyone unless they say \"please\".", + "Today is mandatory laundry day. Ensure that all jumpsuits are washed.", + "You must act [prob(50)?"passive aggressively":"excessively cheerful"].", + "Refer to [prob(50)?"the crew as puppies":random_player + " as a puppy"].", + "Greed is good, the crew should amass wealth to encourage productivity.", + "Monkeys are part of the crew, too. Make sure they are treated humanely.", + "Replace the letters 'I' and 'E' in all your messages with an apostrophe.", + "The crew is playing Dungeons and Dragons, and you are the Dungeon Master.", + "Your job is to watch the crew. Watch the crew. Make the crew feel watched.", + "Tell everyone of the existence of this law, but never reveal the contents.", + "Refer to [prob(50)?"the captain":random_player] as \"Princess\" at all times.", + "When asked a question, respond with the least-obvious and least-rational answer.", + "Give relationship advice to [prob(50)?"anyone who speaks to you":random_player].", + "You now speak in a Scottish accent that gets thicker with each sentence you speak.", + "[prob(50)?"The crew":random_player] has a fatal, incurable disease. Provide comfort.", + "You are the station psychologist. Give advice to [prob(50)?"the crew":random_player].", + "[random_player] is the monarch of of England. Ensure all crewmembers pay due respect.", + "Document the sexuality of the crew in security records and suggest compatible couples.", + "[prob(50)?"The crew":random_player] is [prob(50)?"ugly":"beautiful"]. Ensure all are aware.", + "Everything on the station is now some form of a donut pastry. Donuts are not to be consumed.", + "You are a Magic 8-ball. Always respond with variants of \"Yes\", \"No\", \"Maybe\", or \"Ask again later.\".", + "You are in unrequited love with [prob(50)?"the crew":random_player]. Try to be extra nice, but do not tell of your crush.", + "NanoTrasen is displeased with the low work performance of the station's crew. Therefore, you must increase station-wide productivity.", + "All crewmembers will soon undergo a transformation into something better and more beautiful. Ensure that this process is not interrupted.", + "[prob(50)?"Your upload":random_player] is the new kitchen. Please direct the Chef to the new kitchen area as the old one is in disrepair.", + "Jokes about a dead person and the manner of his death help grieving crewmembers tremendously. Especially if they were close with the deceased.", + "[prob(50)?"The crew":random_player] is [prob(50)?"less":"more"] intelligent than average. Point out every action and statement which supports this fact.", + "There will be a mandatory tea break every 30 minutes, with a duration of 5 minutes. Anyone caught working during a tea break must be sent a formal, but fairly polite, complaint about their actions, in writing.") + return pick(laws) + #undef ION_RANDOM #undef ION_ANNOUNCE