diff --git a/code/game/machinery/vending.dm b/code/game/machinery/vending.dm
index bed2f78b663..8ab731302f3 100644
--- a/code/game/machinery/vending.dm
+++ b/code/game/machinery/vending.dm
@@ -43,6 +43,8 @@
 	//var/emagged = 0			//Ignores if somebody doesn't have card access to that machine.
 	var/seconds_electrified = 0	//Shock customers like an airlock.
 	var/shoot_inventory = 0		//Fire items at customers! We're broken!
+	var/shoot_speed = 3			//How hard are we firing the items?
+	var/shoot_chance = 2		//How often are we firing the items?
 	var/shut_up = 0				//Stop spouting those godawful pitches!
 	var/extended_inventory = 0	//can we access the hidden inventory?
 	var/scan_id = 1
@@ -463,7 +465,7 @@
 		src.speak(slogan)
 		src.last_slogan = world.time
 
-	if(src.shoot_inventory && prob(2))
+	if(src.shoot_inventory && prob(shoot_chance))
 		src.throw_item()
 
 	return
@@ -529,7 +531,7 @@
 	if (!throw_item)
 		return 0
 	spawn(0)
-		throw_item.throw_at(target, 16, 3)
+		throw_item.throw_at(target, 16, shoot_speed)
 	src.visible_message("\red <b>[src] launches [throw_item.name] at [target.name]!</b>")
 	return 1
 
diff --git a/code/modules/events/event_dynamic.dm b/code/modules/events/event_dynamic.dm
index 78667ddfb88..f97b6527cd1 100644
--- a/code/modules/events/event_dynamic.dm
+++ b/code/modules/events/event_dynamic.dm
@@ -66,15 +66,15 @@ var/global/list/possibleEvents = list()
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/spider_infestation] = 50 + 25 * active_with_role["Security"]
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/dust] = 50 + 50 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/dust/meaty] = 50 + 50 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
-	possibleEvents[/datum/event/brand_intelligence] = 50 + 20 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
+	possibleEvents[/datum/event/brand_intelligence] = 50 + 25 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
 
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/rogue_drone] = 25 + 25 * active_with_role["Engineer"] + 25 * active_with_role["Security"]
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/infestation] = 50 + 25 * active_with_role["Janitor"]
 
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/communications_blackout] = 50 + 30 * active_with_role["AI"] + active_with_role["Scientist"] * 25
-	possibleEvents[/datum/event/ionstorm] = active_with_role["AI"] * 50 + active_with_role["Cyborg"] * 25 + active_with_role["Engineer"] * 10 + active_with_role["Scientist"] * 5
+	possibleEvents[/datum/event/ionstorm] = active_with_role["AI"] * 75 + active_with_role["Cyborg"] * 25 + active_with_role["Engineer"] * 10 + active_with_role["Scientist"] * 5
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/grid_check] = 25 + 20 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
-	possibleEvents[/datum/event/electrical_storm] = 10 * active_with_role["Janitor"] + 5 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
+	possibleEvents[/datum/event/electrical_storm] = 150 + 10 * active_with_role["Janitor"] + 5 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/wallrot] = 30 * active_with_role["Engineer"] + 50 * active_with_role["Botanist"]
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/spacevine] = 25 + 5 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/biomass] = 25 + 5 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
@@ -83,9 +83,9 @@ var/global/list/possibleEvents = list()
 		possibleEvents[/datum/event/meteor_wave] = 10 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
 		possibleEvents[/datum/event/meteor_shower] = 40 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
 		possibleEvents[/datum/event/blob] = 20 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
-		possibleEvents[/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_pyro] = 100 + 50 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
-		possibleEvents[/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_vortex] = 50 + 20 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
-		possibleEvents[/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_bluespace] = 50 + 15 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
+		possibleEvents[/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_pyro] = 100 + 60 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
+		possibleEvents[/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_vortex] = 50 + 25 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
+		possibleEvents[/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_bluespace] = 50 + 25 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
 		possibleEvents[/datum/event/anomaly/anomaly_flux] = 50 + 50 * active_with_role["Engineer"]
 
 	possibleEvents[/datum/event/viral_infection] = 25 + active_with_role["Medical"] * 100
diff --git a/code/modules/events/tgevents/brand_intelligence.dm b/code/modules/events/tgevents/brand_intelligence.dm
index 390a23b628e..b759258bb6c 100644
--- a/code/modules/events/tgevents/brand_intelligence.dm
+++ b/code/modules/events/tgevents/brand_intelligence.dm
@@ -25,9 +25,6 @@
 	originMachine.shut_up = 0
 	originMachine.shoot_inventory = 1
 
-	scaling_factor = num_players() / 60	//Tweak this value to change the number of hostile machines. Lower value = more hostile machines.
-
-
 
 /datum/event/brand_intelligence/tick()
 	if(!originMachine || originMachine.shut_up || !originMachine.powered())	//if the original vending machine is missing or has it's voice switch flipped
@@ -41,17 +38,8 @@
 
 	if(!vendingMachines.len)	//if every machine is infected
 		for(var/obj/machinery/vending/upriser in infectedMachines)
-			if(prob(25)) return
-			if(prob(60 * scaling_factor))
-				var/mob/living/simple_animal/hostile/mimic/M = new(upriser.loc)
-				M.name = upriser.name
-				M.icon = upriser.icon
-				M.icon_state = initial(upriser.icon_state)
-			else
-				explosion(upriser.loc, 2, 2, 3, 5)
-				sleep(50)	//return control to lessen lag
-			del(upriser)
-
+			upriser.shoot_speed = 40	//Ouch! May be too much, needs play testing.
+			upriser.shoot_chance = 15
 		kill()
 		return