diff --git a/code/game/gamemodes/gameticker.dm b/code/game/gamemodes/gameticker.dm
index 410498f8e82..4d83aa5eefa 100644
--- a/code/game/gamemodes/gameticker.dm
+++ b/code/game/gamemodes/gameticker.dm
@@ -286,7 +286,7 @@ var/global/datum/controller/gameticker/ticker
 					captainless=0
 				if(player.mind.assigned_role != "MODE")
 					job_master.EquipRank(player, player.mind.assigned_role, 0)
-					//EquipCustomItems(player)
+					EquipCustomItems(player)
 		if(captainless)
 			for(var/mob/M in player_list)
 				if(!istype(M,/mob/new_player))
diff --git a/code/modules/customitems/item_spawning.dm b/code/modules/customitems/item_spawning.dm
index 361742e36a0..a21f0e768cf 100644
--- a/code/modules/customitems/item_spawning.dm
+++ b/code/modules/customitems/item_spawning.dm
@@ -1,11 +1,126 @@
+
+/proc/EquipCustomItems(mob/living/carbon/human/M)
+	testing("\[CustomItem\] Checking for custom items for [M.ckey] ([M.real_name])...")
+	if(!establish_db_connection())
+		return
+
+	// SCHEMA
+	/**
+	* CustomUserItems
+	*
+	* cuiCKey VARCHAR(36) NOT NULL,
+	* cuiRealName VARCHAR(60) NOT NULL,
+	* cuiPath VARCHAR(255) NOT NULL,
+	* cuiDescription TEXT NOT NULL,
+	* cuiReason TEXT NOT NULL,
+	* cuiPropAdjust TEXT NOT NULL,
+	* cuiJobMask TEXT NOT NULL,
+	* PRIMARY KEY(cuiCkey,cuiRealName,cuiPath)
+	*/
+
+	// Grab the info we want.
+	var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT cuiPath, cuiPropAdjust, cuiJobMask FROM CustomUserItems WHERE cuiCKey='[M.ckey]' AND (cuiRealName='[M.real_name]' OR cuiRealName='*')")
+	query.Execute()
+
+	while(query.NextRow())
+		var/path = text2path(query.item[1])
+		var/propadjust = query.item[2]
+		var/jobmask = query.item[3]
+		testing("\[CustomItem\] Setting up [path] for [M.ckey] ([M.real_name]).  jobmask=[jobmask];propadjust=[propadjust]")
+		var/ok=0
+		if(jobmask!="*")
+			var/allowed_jobs = text2list(jobmask,",")
+			var/alt_blocked=0
+			if(M.mind.role_alt_title)
+				if(!(M.mind.role_alt_title in allowed_jobs))
+					alt_blocked=1
+			if(!(M.mind.assigned_role in allowed_jobs) || alt_blocked)
+				testing("Failed to apply custom item for [M.ckey]: Role(s) [M.mind.assigned_role][M.mind.role_alt_title ? " (nor "+M.mind.role_alt_title+")" : ""] are not in allowed_jobs ([english_list(allowed_jobs)])")
+				continue
+
+
+		var/obj/item/Item = new path()
+		testing("Adding new custom item [query.item[1]] to [key_name_admin(M)]...")
+		if(istype(Item,/obj/item/weapon/card/id))
+			var/obj/item/weapon/card/id/I = Item
+			for(var/obj/item/weapon/card/id/C in M)
+				//default settings
+				I.name = "[M.real_name]'s ID Card ([M.mind.role_alt_title ? M.mind.role_alt_title : M.mind.assigned_role])"
+				I.registered_name = M.real_name
+				I.access = C.access
+				I.assignment = C.assignment
+				I.blood_type = C.blood_type
+				I.dna_hash = C.dna_hash
+				I.fingerprint_hash = C.fingerprint_hash
+				//I.pin = C.pin
+				//replace old ID
+				del(C)
+				ok = M.equip_if_possible(I, slot_wear_id, 0)	//if 1, last argument deletes on fail
+				break
+			testing("Replaced ID!")
+		else if(istype(M.back,/obj/item/weapon/storage) && M.back:contents.len < M.back:storage_slots) // Try to place it in something on the mob's back
+			Item.loc = M.back
+			ok = 1
+			testing("Added to [M.back.name]!")
+			M << "\blue Your [Item.name] has been added to your [M.back.name]."
+		else
+			for(var/obj/item/weapon/storage/S in M.contents) // Try to place it in any item that can store stuff, on the mob.
+				if (S.contents.len < S.storage_slots)
+					Item.loc = S
+					ok = 1
+					testing("Added to [S]!")
+					M << "\blue Your [Item.name] has been added to your [S.name]."
+					break
+
+		//skip:
+		if (ok == 0) // Finally, since everything else failed, place it on the ground
+			testing("Plopped onto the ground!")
+			Item.loc = get_turf(M.loc)
+
+		HackProperties(Item,propadjust)
+
+
+// This is hacky, but since it's difficult as fuck to make a proper parser in BYOND without killing the server, here it is. - N3X
+/proc/HackProperties(var/mob/living/carbon/human/M,var/obj/item/I,var/script)
+	/*
+	A=string:b lol {REALNAME} {ROLE} {ROLE_ALT};
+	B=icon:icons/dmi/lol.dmi:STATE;
+	B=number:29;
+	*/
+	var/list/statements=text2list(script,";")
+	if(statements.len==0)
+		return // Don't even bother.
+	for(var/statement in statements)
+		var/list/assignmentChunks = text2list(statement,"=")
+		var/varname = assignmentChunks[1]
+		//var/operator = "="
+
+		var/list/typeChunks=text2list(script,":")
+		var/desiredType=typeChunks[1]
+		//var/value
+		switch(desiredType)
+			if("string")
+				var/output = typeChunks[2]
+				output = replacetext(output,"{REALNAME}", M.real_name)
+				output = replacetext(output,"{ROLE}",     M.mind.assigned_role)
+				output = replacetext(output,"{ROLE_ALT}", "[M.mind.role_alt_title ? M.mind.role_alt_title : M.mind.assigned_role]")
+				I.vars[varname]=output
+			if("number")
+				I.vars[varname]=text2num(typeChunks[2])
+			if("icon")
+				if(typeChunks.len==2)
+					I.vars[varname]=new /icon(typeChunks[2])
+				if(typeChunks.len==3)
+					I.vars[varname]=new /icon(typeChunks[2],typeChunks[3])
+
+
+
 //switch this out to use a database at some point
 //list of ckey/ real_name and item paths
 //gives item to specific people when they join if it can
 //for multiple items just add mutliple entries, unless i change it to be a listlistlist
 //yes, it has to be an item, you can't pick up nonitems
-
-
-
+/* Old as fuck, not SQL-based, hardcoded keys.
 /proc/EquipCustomItems(mob/living/carbon/human/M)
 	// load lines
 	var/file = file2text("config/custom_items.txt")
@@ -73,4 +188,4 @@
 				skip:
 				if (ok == 0) // Finally, since everything else failed, place it on the ground
 					Item.loc = get_turf(M.loc)
-
+*/