The events system is garbage.

code/controllers/configuration/__config_defines.dm

@@ -14,6 +14,12 @@
 		target = text2num(input)\
 	}
 
+/// Wrapper to not overwrite a variable if a list key doesnt exist. Auto casts to number, and accepts a macro argument for number maths (ds to min for example)
+#define CONFIG_LOAD_NUM_MULT(target, input, multiplier) \
+	if(!isnull(input)) {\
+		target = text2num(input) multiplier\
+	}
+
 /// Wrapper to not overwrite a variable if a list key doesnt exist. Auto casts to string.
 #define CONFIG_LOAD_STR(target, input) \
 	if(!isnull(input)) {\

code/controllers/configuration/configuration_core.dm

@@ -15,6 +15,8 @@ GLOBAL_DATUM_INIT(configuration, /datum/server_configuration, new())
 	var/datum/configuration_section/database_configuration/database
 	/// Holder for the Discord configuration datum
 	var/datum/configuration_section/discord_configuration/discord
+	/// Holder for the Event configuration datum
+	var/datum/configuration_section/event_configuration/event
 	/// Holder for the gateway configuration datum
 	var/datum/configuration_section/gateway_configuration/gateway
 	/// Holder for the job configuration datum
@@ -45,6 +47,7 @@ GLOBAL_DATUM_INIT(configuration, /datum/server_configuration, new())
 	custom_sprites = new()
 	database = new()
 	discord = new()
+	event = new()
 	gateway = new()
 	jobs = new()
 	logging = new()
@@ -65,6 +68,7 @@ GLOBAL_DATUM_INIT(configuration, /datum/server_configuration, new())
 	custom_sprites.load_data(raw_config_data["custom_sprites_configuration"])
 	database.load_data(raw_config_data["database_configuration"])
 	discord.load_data(raw_config_data["discord_configuration"])
+	event.load_data(raw_config_data["event_configuration"])
 	gateway.load_data(raw_config_data["gateway_configuration"])
 	jobs.load_data(raw_config_data["job_configuration"])
 	logging.load_data(raw_config_data["logging_configuration"])

code/controllers/configuration/sections/event_configuration.dm

@@ -0,0 +1,61 @@
+/// Config holder for all stuff relating to ingame random events
+/datum/configuration_section/event_configuration
+	/// Do we want to enable random events at all
+	var/enable_random_events = TRUE
+	/// Assoc list of when the first event in a group can run. key: severity | value: assoc list with upper and low bounds (key: "upper"/"lower" | value: time in deciseconds)
+	var/list/first_run_times = list(
+		EVENT_LEVEL_MUNDANE = null,
+		EVENT_LEVEL_MODERATE = null,
+		EVENT_LEVEL_MAJOR = list("lower" = 40 MINUTES, "upper" = 50 MINUTES)
+	) // <---- Whoever designed this needs to be shot
+
+	/// Assoc list of lower bounds of event delays. key: severity | value: delay (deciseconds)
+	var/list/delay_lower_bound = list(
+		EVENT_LEVEL_MUNDANE = 5 MINUTES,
+		EVENT_LEVEL_MODERATE = 15 MINUTES,
+		EVENT_LEVEL_MAJOR = 25 MINUTES
+	)
+	/// Assoc list of lower bounds of event delays. key: severity | value: delay (deciseconds)
+	var/list/delay_upper_bound = list(
+		EVENT_LEVEL_MUNDANE = 7.5 MINUTES,
+		EVENT_LEVEL_MODERATE = 22.5 MINUTES,
+		EVENT_LEVEL_MAJOR = 35 MINUTES
+	)
+	/// Expected time of a round in deciseconds
+	var/expected_round_length = 120 MINUTES // This macro is equivilent to 72,000 deciseconds
+
+/datum/configuration_section/event_configuration/load_data(list/data)
+	// Use the load wrappers here. That way the default isnt made 'null' if you comment out the config line
+	CONFIG_LOAD_BOOL(enable_random_events, data["allow_random_events"])
+
+	// Wrapper cant be used here due to it being multiplied
+	if(isnum(data["expected_round_length"]))
+		expected_round_length = data["expected_round_length"] MINUTES // Convert from minutes to deciseconds
+
+	// Load event severities. This is quite awful but needs to be done so we can account for config mistakes. This event system is awful
+	if(islist(data["event_delay_lower_bounds"]))
+		CONFIG_LOAD_NUM_MULT(delay_lower_bound[EVENT_LEVEL_MUNDANE], data["event_delay_lower_bounds"]["mundane"], MINUTES)
+		CONFIG_LOAD_NUM_MULT(delay_lower_bound[EVENT_LEVEL_MODERATE], data["event_delay_lower_bounds"]["moderate"], MINUTES)
+		CONFIG_LOAD_NUM_MULT(delay_lower_bound[EVENT_LEVEL_MAJOR], data["event_delay_lower_bounds"]["major"], MINUTES)
+
+	// Same here. I hate this.
+	if(islist(data["event_delay_upper_bounds"]))
+		CONFIG_LOAD_NUM_MULT(delay_upper_bound[EVENT_LEVEL_MUNDANE], data["event_delay_upper_bounds"]["mundane"], MINUTES)
+		CONFIG_LOAD_NUM_MULT(delay_upper_bound[EVENT_LEVEL_MODERATE], data["event_delay_upper_bounds"]["moderate"], MINUTES)
+		CONFIG_LOAD_NUM_MULT(delay_upper_bound[EVENT_LEVEL_MAJOR], data["event_delay_upper_bounds"]["major"], MINUTES)
+
+	// And for the worst, the first run delays. I hate this so much -aa07
+	if(islist(data["event_initial_delays"]))
+		for(var/list/assoclist in data["event_initial_delays"])
+			var/target = null
+			switch(assoclist["severity"])
+				if("mundane")
+					target = EVENT_LEVEL_MUNDANE
+				if("moderate")
+					target = EVENT_LEVEL_MODERATE
+				if("major")
+					target = EVENT_LEVEL_MAJOR
+			ASSERT(target in list(EVENT_LEVEL_MUNDANE, EVENT_LEVEL_MODERATE, EVENT_LEVEL_MAJOR))
+			first_run_times[target] = list("lower" = assoclist["lower_bound"] MINUTES, "upper" = assoclist["upper_bound"] MINUTES)
+
+