diff --git a/code/modules/virus2/effect_vr.dm b/code/modules/virus2/effect_vr.dm
index 7ba862dfb02..916ed44689f 100644
--- a/code/modules/virus2/effect_vr.dm
+++ b/code/modules/virus2/effect_vr.dm
@@ -1,6 +1,49 @@
+///////////////////////////////////////////////
+/////////////////// Stage 1 ///////////////////
+
 /datum/disease2/effect/mlem
 	name = "Mlemington's Syndrome"
-	stage = 2
+	stage = 1
 	chance_maxm = 25
 	activate(var/mob/living/carbon/mob,var/multiplier)
 		mob.say("[pick("Mlem.","MLEM!","Mlem?")]")
+
+/datum/disease2/effect/spin
+	name = "Spyndrome"
+	stage = 1
+	chance_maxm = 7
+
+	var/list/directions = list(2,4,1,8,2,4,1,8,2,4,1,8,2,4,1,8,2,4,1,8)
+	activate(var/mob/living/carbon/mob,var/multiplier)
+		if(mob.buckled())
+			viewers(mob) << "<span class='warning'>[mob.name] struggles violently against their restraints!</span>"
+		else
+			viewers(mob) << "<span class='warning'>[mob.name] spins around violently!</span>"
+			for(var/D in directions)
+				mob.dir = D
+				sleep(1)
+			mob.dir = pick(2,4,1,8) //For that added annoyance
+
+///////////////////////////////////////////////
+/////////////////// Stage 2 ///////////////////
+
+/datum/disease2/effect/lang
+	name = "Lingual Dissocation"
+	stage = 2
+	chance_maxm = 2
+
+	activate(var/mob/living/carbon/mob,var/multiplier)
+		mob.set_default_language(pick(mob.languages))
+
+///////////////////////////////////////////////
+/////////////////// Stage 3 ///////////////////
+
+/datum/disease2/effect/size
+	name = "Mass Revectoring"
+	stage = 3
+	chance_maxm = 1
+
+	activate(var/mob/living/carbon/mob,var/multiplier)
+		var/newsize = pick(player_sizes_list)
+		mob.resize(player_sizes_list[newsize])
+		viewers(mob) << "<span class='warning'>[mob.name] suddenly changes size!</span>"