diff --git a/code/__HELPERS/bandetect.dm b/code/__HELPERS/bandetect.dm
new file mode 100644
index 000000000000..ee15f67a6025
--- /dev/null
+++ b/code/__HELPERS/bandetect.dm
@@ -0,0 +1,34 @@
+#define YOUNG 4
+
+
+/client/proc/join_date_check(y,m,d)
+	var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT DATEDIFF(Now(),'[y]-[m]-[d]')")
+
+	if(!query.Execute())
+		world.log << "SQL ERROR doing datediff. Error : \[[query.ErrorMsg()]\]\n"
+		return
+
+	if(query.NextRow())
+		var/diff = text2num(query.item[1])
+		if(diff < YOUNG)
+			var/msg = "(IP: [address], ID: [computer_id]) is a new BYOND account made on [y]-[m]-[d]."
+			if(diff < 0)
+				msg += " They are also apparently from the future."
+			message_admins("[key_name_admin(src)] [msg]")
+#undef YOUNG
+
+
+/client/proc/findJoinDate()
+	var/http[] = world.Export("http://byond.com/members/[src.ckey]?format=text")
+	if(!http)
+		world.log << "Failed to connect to byond age check for [src.ckey]"
+
+	var/F = file2text(http["CONTENT"])
+	if(F)
+		var/regex/R = regex("joined = \"(\\d{4})-(\\d{2})-(\\d{2})\"")
+		if(!R.Find(F))
+			CRASH("Age check regex failed")
+		var/y = R.group[1]
+		var/m = R.group[2]
+		var/d = R.group[3]
+		join_date_check(y,m,d)
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/code/__HELPERS/time.dm b/code/__HELPERS/time.dm
index e5e190a09ba9..eefb3693cf62 100644
--- a/code/__HELPERS/time.dm
+++ b/code/__HELPERS/time.dm
@@ -22,4 +22,4 @@
 
 //returns timestamp in a sql and ISO 8601 friendly format
 /proc/SQLtime()
-	return time2text(world.realtime, "YYYY-MM-DD hh:mm:ss")
+	return time2text(world.realtime, "YYYY-MM-DD hh:mm:ss")
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/code/_globalvars/misc.dm b/code/_globalvars/misc.dm
index 36ef28c7c056..810e20feac7f 100644
--- a/code/_globalvars/misc.dm
+++ b/code/_globalvars/misc.dm
@@ -19,4 +19,4 @@ var/map_ready = 0
 	Therefore, we'd need to use spawn() inside New() to wait for the surrounding turf contents to be instanced
 	However, using lots of spawn() has a severe performance impact, and often results in spaghetti-code
 	map_ready will be set to 1 when world/New() is called (which happens just after the map is instanced)
-*/
+*/
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/code/modules/client/client defines.dm b/code/modules/client/client defines.dm
index c0241ba6b748..bb3889ced3ed 100644
--- a/code/modules/client/client defines.dm	
+++ b/code/modules/client/client defines.dm	
@@ -25,7 +25,6 @@
 		///////////////
 	var/ambience_playing= null
 	var/played			= 0
-
 		////////////
 		//SECURITY//
 		////////////
diff --git a/code/modules/client/client procs.dm b/code/modules/client/client procs.dm
index f30e26edfee5..6c4d4bb2fcec 100644
--- a/code/modules/client/client procs.dm	
+++ b/code/modules/client/client procs.dm	
@@ -185,6 +185,8 @@ var/next_external_rsc = 0
 	else if (isnum(player_age) && player_age < config.notify_new_player_age)
 		message_admins("New user: [key_name_admin(src)] just connected with an age of [player_age] day[(player_age==1?"":"s")]")
 
+	findJoinDate()
+
 	sync_client_with_db()
 
 	send_resources()
diff --git a/tgstation.dme b/tgstation.dme
index a60e10a9f00e..df343a221c87 100644
--- a/tgstation.dme
+++ b/tgstation.dme
@@ -50,6 +50,7 @@
 #include "code\__HELPERS\510.dm"
 #include "code\__HELPERS\_logging.dm"
 #include "code\__HELPERS\_string_lists.dm"
+#include "code\__HELPERS\bandetect.dm"
 #include "code\__HELPERS\cmp.dm"
 #include "code\__HELPERS\files.dm"
 #include "code\__HELPERS\game.dm"