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Wrangler and owner of angry pet geese and other angry birds here. People think geese are assholes, and they are. But they are predictable assholes who understand certain body language. Here's some advice: Don't: • Break eye contact: Eye contact is super important to geese and if you look away, they take it as a sign of weakness and an invitation to attack and dominate you. Wearing sunglasses also counts as being a wimp, to a goose. • Run away: Don't turn away or try to run away for the same reasons as above, the goose will take it as a sign you are afraid and attack. • Be silent: Geese talk to each other all the time to tell each other where they are and what's going on. They are freaked out by silence. Talking in a normal tone might reassure them that you aren't a threat • Back down: If they come at you, don't back down! Fight that asshole goose, or it will be emboldened to keep attacking you or others Do: • Spread your arms out: You look bigger and it's a gesture of aggression (geese open their wings slightly before fighting) and if you advance on them like that they may back down • Hiss: This is aggressive and they might decide to back down • If they come at you, grab them by the neck: Geese totally hate being grabbed by the neck. Don't grab and squeeze, just grab lightly and they'll get freaked out and run away • Grab their beak: If you're coordinated enough you can grab them by the beak when they come into bite you too, they also hate this. Bonus if you get them with their beak open, geese tongues are cool to touch • Stand slightly to the side to avoid being punched by their wing... wrists? They love to come in swinging with their wings after grabbing you, but if you stand slightly to the side while hanging on to their beak/neck, they can't catch you straight on with their wing punches Also remember you're a person and it's just a goose. The worst thing it can do is nip you with its beak or wing punch you, which doesn't even really hurt! Once you start to notice the habits and body language of geese, you can actually end most conflicts peacefully without having to fight. Even my most aggressive gander was a sweetheart if you just communicated with him in the right way. Sometimes he was totally just trying to start shit to look dominant though, and then I had to pin him down and sit on him until he calmed down, otherwise he'd just keep punching me with his wings. What a lovable dick, I miss him.