To: David Redwell<br>
Sagittarius Labs HQ<br>
Scouting & Reports Department<br>
Mailbox A-24<br>
05|23|62<br><br>

Subject: Moon of fifth planet in Solar System found at 42|05|11<br><br>

Findings Summary: Lost Meta-human Colony<br><br>

Findings Detail:<br><br>
Christ. Okay. You might want to sit down with a drink for this one.<br>
I was charting out a solar system that had been difficult to access, I was giving it the usual do-over. Mineral sweep, signal sweep, the usual. Pretty much nothing out of the ordinary or even particularly attractive coming up. So I get to the fifth planet, a rather pretty-looking blue-purple gas giant and I start scanning the moons. All of a sudden i'm picking up a signal from one of the moons, I did notice vegetation and such visible from space, so I go check it out.<br><br>

I manage to break down the signal and it's.. like.. fuck I feel embarrassed just writing this down. "Hello, meow! Welcome to the cat people planet, purr purr! We've been cut off from civilization and we're looking to re-establish contact! We can't wait to meet you! Meow!" You might want to chug that drink if you haven't already. The signal was coming from a satellite, looked like a real piece of shit. Pretty typical lost colony re-establishment tech. I'm guessing these people crashed on this planet however long ago and have been cut off until they could get a satellite going. Why the fuck they're talking like cats I don't know.<br><br>

So I send down a probe or two and holy jesus. These people are NOT fucking around. They've used meta-human genetic design technology to turn themselves into cat people, and like.. they've based their whole civilization around cats. The place looks like a fucking theme park for fuck's sake. I am not making this shit up. I don't know if it's a good thing that I didn't actually see any actual cats down there at all. I'm just kinda glad the satellite didn't have any kind of scanning or feedback technology or else they would have known I was there. That would have been one hell of a can of worms.<br><br>

Value Speculation:<br>
You know what, if it were me I would just leave this one alone. Just... file this report into the trash can and forget any of this happened, mark the system as explored without any points of interest. These people are fucking weird, man. Let's just keep a satellite there to block all outgoing signals and leave it at that. Good fucking god.<br><br>

Requests:<br>
x2 Liquid Oxygen Cylinder for powering cold shower<br><br>

- Quentin Werman<br><br>

PS: I might have "accidentally" knocked their satellite out of orbit and into a nearby asteroid. Uh, keep that one on the down low of course.