diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/brain/life.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/brain/life.dm
index 6d06da41ae..823d47dee2 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/brain/life.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/brain/life.dm
@@ -25,9 +25,6 @@
 		else
 			emp_damage = max(emp_damage-1, 0)
 
-/mob/living/brain/handle_status_effects()
-	return
-
 /mob/living/brain/handle_traits()
 	return
 
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/life.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/life.dm
index 6f0f5453da..a839a0dd83 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/life.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/carbon/life.dm
@@ -570,24 +570,15 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_INIT(ballmer_windows_me_msg, list("Yo man, what if, we like, uh, put
 	else
 		SEND_SIGNAL(src, COMSIG_CLEAR_MOOD_EVENT, "jittery")
 
-	if(stuttering)
-		stuttering = max(stuttering-1, 0)
+	if(druggy)
+		adjust_drugginess(-1)
 
-	if(slurring || drunkenness)
-		slurring = max(slurring-1,0,drunkenness)
-
-	if(cultslurring)
-		cultslurring = max(cultslurring-1, 0)
-
-	if(clockcultslurring)
-		clockcultslurring = max(clockcultslurring-1, 0)
+	if(drunkenness)
+		drunkenness = max(drunkenness-1,0)
 
 	if(silent)
 		silent = max(silent-1, 0)
 
-	if(druggy)
-		adjust_drugginess(-1)
-
 	if(hallucination)
 		handle_hallucinations()
 
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/life.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/life.dm
index 43a5d9c2c8..0c73c623d1 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/life.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/life.dm
@@ -150,11 +150,26 @@
 /mob/living/proc/handle_stomach()
 	return
 
-//this updates all special effects: knockdown, druggy, stuttering, etc..
+/*
+ * this updates some effects: mostly old stuff such as drunkness, druggy, stuttering, etc.
+ * that should be converted to status effect datums one day.
+ */
 /mob/living/proc/handle_status_effects()
 	if(confused)
 		confused = max(0, confused - 1)
 
+	if(stuttering)
+		stuttering = max(stuttering-1, 0)
+
+	if(slurring)
+		slurring = max(slurring-1,0)
+
+	if(cultslurring)
+		cultslurring = max(cultslurring-1, 0)
+
+	if(clockcultslurring)
+		clockcultslurring = max(clockcultslurring-1, 0)
+
 /mob/living/proc/handle_traits()
 	//Eyes
 	if(eye_blind)			//blindness, heals slowly over time
diff --git a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/simple_animal.dm b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/simple_animal.dm
index 65c553b11d..dc892364c4 100644
--- a/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/simple_animal.dm
+++ b/code/modules/mob/living/simple_animal/simple_animal.dm
@@ -195,12 +195,6 @@
 			stat = CONSCIOUS
 	med_hud_set_status()
 
-
-/mob/living/simple_animal/handle_status_effects()
-	..()
-	if(stuttering)
-		stuttering = 0
-
 /mob/living/simple_animal/proc/handle_automated_action()
 	set waitfor = FALSE
 	return