diff --git a/code/__HELPERS/_lists.dm b/code/__HELPERS/_lists.dm
index 8d25fb8e03..a59ee9fcb0 100644
--- a/code/__HELPERS/_lists.dm
+++ b/code/__HELPERS/_lists.dm
@@ -67,24 +67,25 @@
 
 //Returns a list in plain english as a string
 /proc/english_list(list/input, nothing_text = "nothing", and_text = " and ", comma_text = ", ", final_comma_text = "" )
-	var/total = input.len
-	if (!total)
-		return nothing_text
-	else if (total == 1)
-		return "[input[1]]"
-	else if (total == 2)
-		return "[input[1]][and_text][input[2]]"
-	else
-		var/output = ""
-		var/index = 1
-		while (index < total)
-			if (index == total - 1)
-				comma_text = final_comma_text
+	var/total = length(input)
+	switch(total)
+		if (0)
+			return "[nothing_text]"
+		if (1)
+			return "[input[1]]"
+		if (2)
+			return "[input[1]][and_text][input[2]]"
+		else
+			var/output = ""
+			var/index = 1
+			while (index < total)
+				if (index == total - 1)
+					comma_text = final_comma_text
 
-			output += "[input[index]][comma_text]"
-			index++
+				output += "[input[index]][comma_text]"
+				index++
 
-		return "[output][and_text][input[index]]"
+			return "[output][and_text][input[index]]"
 
 //Returns list element or null. Should prevent "index out of bounds" error.
 /proc/listgetindex(list/L, index)
diff --git a/code/__HELPERS/names.dm b/code/__HELPERS/names.dm
index a61e3a6492..8ff610e68c 100644
--- a/code/__HELPERS/names.dm
+++ b/code/__HELPERS/names.dm
@@ -19,22 +19,6 @@
 /proc/arachnid_name()
 	return "[pick(GLOB.arachnid_first)] [pick(GLOB.arachnid_last)]"
 
-/proc/church_name()
-	var/static/church_name
-	if (church_name)
-		return church_name
-
-	var/name = ""
-
-	name += pick("Holy", "United", "First", "Second", "Last")
-
-	if (prob(20))
-		name += " Space"
-
-	name += " " + pick("Church", "Cathedral", "Body", "Worshippers", "Movement", "Witnesses")
-	name += " of [religion_name()]"
-
-	return name
 
 GLOBAL_VAR(command_name)
 /proc/command_name()
@@ -52,17 +36,6 @@ GLOBAL_VAR(command_name)
 
 	return name
 
-/proc/religion_name()
-	var/static/religion_name
-	if (religion_name)
-		return religion_name
-
-	var/name = ""
-
-	name += pick("bee", "science", "edu", "captain", "assistant", "monkey", "alien", "space", "unit", "sprocket", "gadget", "bomb", "revolution", "beyond", "station", "goon", "robot", "ivor", "hobnob")
-	name += pick("ism", "ia", "ology", "istism", "ites", "ick", "ian", "ity")
-
-	return capitalize(name)
 
 /proc/station_name()
 	if(!GLOB.station_name)
diff --git a/code/__HELPERS/type2type.dm b/code/__HELPERS/type2type.dm
index 0987e95dc9..87187a4c3d 100644
--- a/code/__HELPERS/type2type.dm
+++ b/code/__HELPERS/type2type.dm
@@ -78,21 +78,21 @@
 //Turns a direction into text
 /proc/dir2text(direction)
 	switch(direction)
-		if(1)
+		if(NORTH)
 			return "north"
-		if(2)
+		if(SOUTH)
 			return "south"
-		if(4)
+		if(EAST)
 			return "east"
-		if(8)
+		if(WEST)
 			return "west"
-		if(5)
+		if(NORTHEAST)
 			return "northeast"
-		if(6)
+		if(SOUTHEAST)
 			return "southeast"
-		if(9)
+		if(NORTHWEST)
 			return "northwest"
-		if(10)
+		if(SOUTHWEST)
 			return "southwest"
 		else
 	return
@@ -101,21 +101,21 @@
 /proc/text2dir(direction)
 	switch(uppertext(direction))
 		if("NORTH")
-			return 1
+			return NORTH
 		if("SOUTH")
-			return 2
+			return SOUTH
 		if("EAST")
-			return 4
+			return EAST
 		if("WEST")
-			return 8
+			return WEST
 		if("NORTHEAST")
-			return 5
+			return NORTHEAST
 		if("NORTHWEST")
-			return 9
+			return NORTHWEST
 		if("SOUTHEAST")
-			return 6
+			return SOUTHEAST
 		if("SOUTHWEST")
-			return 10
+			return SOUTHWEST
 		else
 	return