diff --git a/code/modules/paperwork/paper.dm b/code/modules/paperwork/paper.dm
index 976e48707b..f985099219 100644
--- a/code/modules/paperwork/paper.dm
+++ b/code/modules/paperwork/paper.dm
@@ -304,7 +304,6 @@
else
info += t // Oh, he wants to edit to the end of the file, let him.
updateinfolinks()
- i.on_write(src,usr)
usr << browse("[name][info_links]
[stamps]", "window=[name]") // Update the window
update_icon()
diff --git a/code/modules/paperwork/pen.dm b/code/modules/paperwork/pen.dm
index b6f8ee8f74..276b4d8109 100644
--- a/code/modules/paperwork/pen.dm
+++ b/code/modules/paperwork/pen.dm
@@ -197,12 +197,3 @@
else
icon_state = initial(icon_state) //looks like a normal pen when off.
item_state = initial(item_state)
-
-//Crayons path disambiguity sigh.
-/obj/item/proc/on_write(obj/item/weapon/paper/P, mob/user)
- return
-
-/obj/item/weapon/pen/poison/on_write(obj/item/weapon/paper/P, mob/user)
- P.contact_poison = "delayed_toxin"
- P.contact_poison_volume = 10
- add_logs(user,P,"used poison pen on")
diff --git a/code/modules/uplink/uplink_item.dm b/code/modules/uplink/uplink_item.dm
index 1bbaf7ab02..c0ce1e8d2d 100644
--- a/code/modules/uplink/uplink_item.dm
+++ b/code/modules/uplink/uplink_item.dm
@@ -649,13 +649,6 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_EMPTY(uplink_items) // Global list so we only initialize this once.
cost = 4
exclude_modes = list(/datum/game_mode/nuclear,/datum/game_mode/gang)
-/datum/uplink_item/stealthy_weapons/poison_pen
- name = "Poison Pen"
- desc = "Cutting edge of deadly writing implements technology, this gadget will infuse any piece of paper with delayed contact poison."
- item = /obj/item/weapon/pen/poison
- cost = 2
- exclude_modes = list(/datum/game_mode/nuclear)
-
/datum/uplink_item/stealthy_weapons/soap
name = "Syndicate Soap"
desc = "A sinister-looking surfactant used to clean blood stains to hide murders and prevent DNA analysis. \