Better SQL prepared statements (#2474)

The system used to be of complexity O(n^2). Essentially two for loops running per every argument. Which ended up being surprisingly slow (there were instances where I saw the argument parser as using quite a lot of CPU time). This replaces it with a more linear algorithm. It's somewhere near O(n) where n is the length of the unparsed query. Which is more stable and faaaster. This comes with two changes, however: Parameters inside the query now have to be delimited from both sides with : (colons). The alternative to this would be to use something like $n or just assume that space marks the end of a marker. Only the former is workable, the latter would break a few queries already. Arguments in the argument array no longer have to be prefixed by : (colons). So, while in the query you would write :thing:, you'd initialize the array of args as: list("thing" = somevar). It could be made to work without it, but eh, I think this is fine. Argument validation is slightly weaker. What I mean by this is that with the old system, unused keys would result in an error. This is no longer a thing. Missing keys will still result in an error, however. One more improvement: double delimiting removes an edge case where if key A partially covers key B, depending on the order, key A would mangle key B. Updated and tested all queries that I could find. So this should be good.
2026-07-12 00:20:42 +01:00 · 2017-05-29 21:17:41 +03:00
parent b88d6aaadb
commit a3ec0cf45d
36 changed files with 366 additions and 333 deletions
@@ -5,4 +5,4 @@

 ALTER TABLE `ss13_characters_flavour`
 	ADD `signature` TINYTEXT NULL DEFAULT NULL AFTER `char_id`,
-	ADD `signature_font` TINYTEXT TINYTEXT NULL DEFAULT NULL AFTER `signature`;
+	ADD `signature_font` TINYTEXT NULL DEFAULT NULL AFTER `signature`;
@@ -44,15 +44,15 @@
 	WHERE api_t.id = api_t_f.token_id AND api_f.id = api_t_f.command_id
 	AND	api_t.deleted_at IS NULL
 	AND (
-	(token = :token AND ip = :ip AND command = :command)
+	(token = :token: AND ip = :ip: AND command = :command:)
 	OR
-	(token = :token AND ip IS NULL AND command = :command)
+	(token = :token: AND ip IS NULL AND command = :command:)
 	OR
-	(token = :token AND ip = :ip AND command = \"_ANY\")
+	(token = :token: AND ip = :ip: AND command = \"_ANY\")
 	OR
-	(token = :token AND ip IS NULL AND command = \"_ANY\")
+	(token = :token: AND ip IS NULL AND command = \"_ANY\")
 	OR
-	(token IS NULL AND ip IS NULL AND command = :command)
+	(token IS NULL AND ip IS NULL AND command = :command:)
 	)"})
 	//Check if the token is not deleted
 	//Check if one of the following is true:
@@ -62,7 +62,7 @@
 	// Any Command, Any IP - Token Matches, IP is set to NULL (not required), Command is set to _ANY
 	// Public - Token is set to NULL, IP is set to NULL and command matches

-	authquery.Execute(list(":token" = auth, ":ip" = addr, ":command" = command.name))
+	authquery.Execute(list("token" = auth, "ip" = addr, "command" = command.name))
 	log_debug("API: Auth Check - Query Executed - Returned Rows: [authquery.RowCount()]")

 	if (authquery.RowCount())
@@ -77,12 +77,12 @@ proc/api_update_command_database()
 		return 0 //Error

 	var/DBQuery/commandinsertquery = dbcon.NewQuery({"INSERT INTO ss13_api_commands (command,description)
-	VALUES (:command_name,:command_description)
-	ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE description = :command_description;"})
+	VALUES (:command_name:,:command_description:)
+	ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE description = :command_description:;"})

 	for(var/com in topic_commands)
 		var/datum/topic_command/command = topic_commands[com]
-		commandinsertquery.Execute(list(":command_name" = command.name, ":command_description" = command.description))
+		commandinsertquery.Execute(list("command_name" = command.name, "command_description" = command.description))
 	log_debug("API: DB Command Update Executed")
 	return 1 //OK

@@ -176,16 +176,16 @@ proc/api_update_command_database()
 	FROM ss13_api_token_command as api_t_f, ss13_api_tokens as api_t, ss13_api_commands as api_f
 	WHERE api_t.id = api_t_f.token_id AND api_f.id = api_t_f.command_id
 	AND (
-		(token = :token AND ip = :ip)
+		(token = :token: AND ip = :ip:)
 		OR
-		(token = :token AND ip IS NULL)
+		(token = :token: AND ip IS NULL)
 		OR
-		(token IS NULL AND ip = :ip)
+		(token IS NULL AND ip = :ip:)
 	)
 	ORDER BY command DESC"})


-	commandsquery.Execute(list(":token" = queryparams["auth"], ":ip" = queryparams["addr"]))
+	commandsquery.Execute(list("token" = queryparams["auth"], "ip" = queryparams["addr"]))
 	while (commandsquery.NextRow())
 		commands[commandsquery.item[1]] = commandsquery.item[1]
 		if(commandsquery.item[1] == "_ANY")
@@ -228,15 +228,15 @@ proc/api_update_command_database()
 	WHERE api_t.id = api_t_f.token_id AND api_f.id = api_t_f.command_id
 	AND	api_t.deleted_at IS NULL
 	AND (
-	(token = :token AND ip = :ip AND command = :command)
+	(token = :token: AND ip = :ip: AND command = :command:)
 	OR
-	(token = :token AND ip IS NULL AND command = :command)
+	(token = :token: AND ip IS NULL AND command = :command:)
 	OR
-	(token = :token AND ip = :ip AND command = \"_ANY\")
+	(token = :token: AND ip = :ip: AND command = \"_ANY\")
 	OR
-	(token = :token AND ip IS NULL AND command = \"_ANY\")
+	(token = :token: AND ip IS NULL AND command = \"_ANY\")
 	OR
-	(token IS NULL AND ip IS NULL AND command = :command)
+	(token IS NULL AND ip IS NULL AND command = :command:)
 	)"})
 	//Get the tokens and the associated commands
 	//Check if the token, the ip and the command matches OR
@@ -244,7 +244,7 @@ proc/api_update_command_database()
 	// the token + ip matches and the command is NULL (Allow a specific ip with a specific token to use all commands)
 	// the token + ip is NULL and the command matches (Allow a specific command to be used without auth)

-	permquery.Execute(list(":token" = queryparams["auth"], ":ip" = queryparams["addr"], ":command" = queryparams["command"]))
+	permquery.Execute(list("token" = queryparams["auth"], "ip" = queryparams["addr"], "command" = queryparams["command"]))

 	if (!permquery.RowCount())
 		statuscode = 401
@@ -183,47 +183,86 @@ DBQuery/proc/SetConversion(column,conversion)
 		conversions.len = column
 	conversions[column] = conversion

-/* Works similarly to the PDO object's Execute() method in PHP.
-* Insert a list of keys/values, it searches the SQL syntax for the keys,
-* and replaces them with sanitized versions of the values.
-* Can be called independently, or through dbcon.Execute(), where the list would be the first argument.
-* passNotFound controls whether or not is passes keys not found in the SQL query.
-* Keys are /case-sensitive/, be careful!
-* Returns the parsed SQL query upon completion.
-* - Skull132
+/**
+* Automatic query parsing. Works similarly to any SQL prepared statement system.
+*
+* You pass in here a query which has special argument markers (we use :marker: style),
+* and a map of argument -> content. Note that in this map, the argument key should not
+* contain the colon delimiters. So while it's :marker: in the query, in the args list,
+* it would be list("marker" = somevar).
+*
+* The parser will then crawl the input query and replace any placeholders it finds
+* with automatically sanitized values. Values can even be lists, at which point a
+* MySQL list is generated: (VALUE1, VALUE2).
+*
+* @param	query_to_parse The query we will be parsing.
+* @param	argument_list A map of markers associated with their values. Values can
+* be numeric, strings, null, or lists of primitives. In case of null, MySQL NULL is
+* used. In case of a list of primitives, a MySQL comma delimited list is used instead.
+*
+* @return	The parsed query upon success. null upon failure.
 */
-/DBQuery/proc/parseArguments(var/query_to_parse = null, var/list/argument_list, var/pass_not_found = 0)
+/DBQuery/proc/parseArguments(var/query_to_parse = null, var/list/argument_list)
 	if (!query_to_parse || !argument_list || !argument_list.len)
-		log_debug("parseArguments() failed! Improper arguments sent!")
-		return 0
+		log_debug("SQL ARGPARSE: Invalid arguments sent.")
+		return null

-	for (var/placeholder in argument_list)
-		if (!findtextEx(query_to_parse, placeholder))
-			if (pass_not_found)
+	var/parsed = ""
+	var/list/cache = list()
+	var/pos = 1
+	var/search = 0
+	var/curr_arg = ""
+
+	// We crawl the key list first. This is required to properly notice missing
+	// arguments/keys. Otherwise, list[non-key] will always result in null and
+	// will thus be populated as NULL. Which is bad.
+	for (var/key in argument_list)
+		var/argument = argument_list[key]
+		if (istext(argument))
+			cache[key] = "[dbcon.Quote(argument)]"
+		else if (isnum(argument))
+			cache[key] = "[argument]"
+		else if (istype(argument, /list))
+			cache[key] = parse_db_lists(argument)
+		else if (isnull(argument))
+			cache[key] = "NULL"
+		else
+			log_debug("SQL ARGPARSE: Cannot identify argument! [key]. Argument: [argument]")
+			return null
+
+	while (1)
+		search = findtext(query_to_parse, ":", pos)
+		parsed += copytext(query_to_parse, pos, search)
+		if (search)
+			pos = search
+			search = findtext(query_to_parse, ":", pos + 1)
+			if (search)
+				curr_arg = copytext(query_to_parse, pos + 1, search)
+				if (cache[curr_arg])
+					parsed += cache[curr_arg]
+				else
+					log_debug("SQL ARGPARSE: Unpopulated argument found in an SQL query.")
+					log_debug("SQL ARGPARSE: [curr_arg]. Query: [query_to_parse]")
+					return null
+
+				pos = search + 1
+				curr_arg = ""
 				continue
 			else
-				log_debug("parseArguments() failed! Key not found: [placeholder].")
-				return 0
+				parsed += copytext(query_to_parse, pos, search)

-		var/argument = argument_list[placeholder]
+		break

-		if (istext(argument))
-			argument = dbcon.Quote(argument)
-		else if (isnum(argument))
-			argument = "[argument]"
-		else if (istype(argument, /list))
-			argument = parse_db_lists(argument)
-		else if (isnull(argument))
-			argument = "NULL"
-		else
-			log_debug("parseArguments() failed! Cannot identify argument!")
-			log_debug("Placeholder: '[placeholder]'. Argument: '[argument]'")
-			return 0
-
-		query_to_parse = replacetextEx(query_to_parse, placeholder, argument)
-
-	return query_to_parse
+	return parsed

+/**
+ * Generates a MySQL list from a list of primitives. Also escapes values.
+ *
+ * @param	argument The list of primitives we want to generate a MySQL list from.
+ *
+ * @return	A string representing the MySQL list if the parsing is successful.
+ * "NULL", the MySQL null value, if parsing fails for some reason.
+ */
 /DBQuery/proc/parse_db_lists(var/list/argument)
 	if (!argument || !istype(argument) || !argument.len)
 		return "NULL"
@@ -104,7 +104,7 @@ A list of items and costs is stored under the datum of every game mode, alongsid
 // Interaction code. Gathers a list of items purchasable from the paren't uplink and displays it. It also adds a lock button.
 /obj/item/device/uplink/hidden/interact(mob/user)
 	ui_interact(user)
-	
+
 /obj/item/device/uplink/hidden/CanUseTopic()
 	if(!active)
 		return STATUS_CLOSE
@@ -208,14 +208,14 @@ A list of items and costs is stored under the datum of every game mode, alongsid

 			switch (nanoui_data["contracts_view"])
 				if (1)
-					query_details[":status"] = "open"
+					query_details["status"] = "open"
 				if (2)
-					query_details[":status"] = "closed"
+					query_details["status"] = "closed"
 				else
 					nanoui_data["contracts_view"] = 1
-					query_details[":status"] = "open"
+					query_details["status"] = "open"

-			var/DBQuery/index_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT count(*) as Total_Contracts FROM ss13_syndie_contracts WHERE deleted_at IS NULL AND status = :status")
+			var/DBQuery/index_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT count(*) as Total_Contracts FROM ss13_syndie_contracts WHERE deleted_at IS NULL AND status = :status:")
 			index_query.Execute(query_details)

 			var/pages = 0
@@ -242,9 +242,9 @@ A list of items and costs is stored under the datum of every game mode, alongsid
 				if (nanoui_data["contracts_current_page"] > pages)
 					return

-				query_details[":offset"] = (nanoui_data["contracts_current_page"] - 1) * 10
+				query_details["offset"] = (nanoui_data["contracts_current_page"] - 1) * 10

-				var/DBQuery/list_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT contract_id, contractee_name, title FROM ss13_syndie_contracts WHERE deleted_at IS NULL AND status = :status LIMIT 10 OFFSET :offset")
+				var/DBQuery/list_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT contract_id, contractee_name, title FROM ss13_syndie_contracts WHERE deleted_at IS NULL AND status = :status: LIMIT 10 OFFSET :offset:")
 				list_query.Execute(query_details)

 				var/list/contracts = list()
@@ -272,11 +272,11 @@ A list of items and costs is stored under the datum of every game mode, alongsid
 				nanoui_data["contracts_view"] = 1

 			var/query_details[0]
-			query_details[":contract_id"] = exploit_id
+			query_details["contract_id"] = exploit_id

-			var/DBQuery/select_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT contract_id, contractee_name, status, title, description, reward_other FROM ss13_syndie_contracts WHERE contract_id = :contract_id")
+			var/DBQuery/select_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT contract_id, contractee_name, status, title, description, reward_other FROM ss13_syndie_contracts WHERE contract_id = :contract_id:")
 			select_query.Execute(query_details)
-			
+
 			if (select_query.NextRow())
 				nanoui_data["contracts_found"] = 1

@@ -15,8 +15,8 @@

 	var/bad_data = BAD_CKEY|BAD_IP|BAD_CID

-	var/DBQuery/original_ban = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ckey, ip, computerid FROM ss13_ban WHERE id = :ban_id")
-	original_ban.Execute(list(":ban_id" = ban_id))
+	var/DBQuery/original_ban = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ckey, ip, computerid FROM ss13_ban WHERE id = :ban_id:")
+	original_ban.Execute(list("ban_id" = ban_id))

 	if (original_ban.NextRow())
 		var/original_ckey = original_ban.item[1]
@@ -30,8 +30,8 @@
 			bad_data &= ~BAD_CID

 		if (bad_data)
-			var/DBQuery/mirrored_bans = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT player_ckey, ban_mirror_ip, ban_mirror_computerid FROM ss13_ban_mirrors WHERE ban_id = :ban_id")
-			mirrored_bans.Execute(list(":ban_id" = ban_id))
+			var/DBQuery/mirrored_bans = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT player_ckey, ban_mirror_ip, ban_mirror_computerid FROM ss13_ban_mirrors WHERE ban_id = :ban_id:")
+			mirrored_bans.Execute(list("ban_id" = ban_id))

 			while (mirrored_bans.NextRow())
 				var/mirrored_ckey = mirrored_bans.item[1]
@@ -66,8 +66,8 @@
 		log_misc("Ban database connection failure while attempting to check mirrors. Key passed for mirror checking: [ckey].")
 		return null

-	var/DBQuery/initial_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT DISTINCT ban_id FROM ss13_ban_mirrors WHERE player_ckey = :ckey OR ban_mirror_ip = :address OR ban_mirror_computerid = :computerid")
-	initial_query.Execute(list(":ckey" = ckey, ":address" = address, ":computerid" = computer_id))
+	var/DBQuery/initial_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT DISTINCT ban_id FROM ss13_ban_mirrors WHERE player_ckey = :ckey: OR ban_mirror_ip = :address: OR ban_mirror_computerid = :computerid:")
+	initial_query.Execute(list("ckey" = ckey, "address" = address, "computerid" = computer_id))

 	var/list/ban_ids = list()

@@ -78,8 +78,8 @@
 	if (!ban_ids.len)
 		return null

-	var/DBQuery/search_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id FROM ss13_ban WHERE id IN :vars AND (bantype = 'PERMABAN' OR (bantype = 'TEMPBAN' AND expiration_time > Now())) AND isnull(unbanned)")
-	search_query.Execute(list(":vars" = ban_ids))
+	var/DBQuery/search_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id FROM ss13_ban WHERE id IN :vars: AND (bantype = 'PERMABAN' OR (bantype = 'TEMPBAN' AND expiration_time > Now())) AND isnull(unbanned)")
+	search_query.Execute(list("vars" = ban_ids))

 	var/list/active_bans = list()

@@ -103,8 +103,8 @@
 	if (!dbcon.IsConnected())
 		return null

-	var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ban_mirror_id, player_ckey, ban_mirror_ip, ban_mirror_computerid, date(ban_mirror_datetime) as datetime FROM ss13_ban_mirrors WHERE ban_id = :ban_id")
-	query.Execute(list(":ban_id" = ban_id))
+	var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ban_mirror_id, player_ckey, ban_mirror_ip, ban_mirror_computerid, date(ban_mirror_datetime) as datetime FROM ss13_ban_mirrors WHERE ban_id = :ban_id:")
+	query.Execute(list("ban_id" = ban_id))

 	var/mirrors[] = list()
 	while (query.NextRow())
@@ -122,8 +122,8 @@
 	if (!ckey || !address || !computer_id || !ban_id)
 		return

-	var/DBQuery/new_mirror = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_ban_mirrors (ban_id, player_ckey, ban_mirror_ip, ban_mirror_computerid, ban_mirror_datetime) VALUES (:ban_id, :ckey, :address, :computerid, NOW())")
-	new_mirror.Execute(list(":ban_id" = ban_id, ":ckey" = ckey, ":address" = address, ":computerid" = computer_id))
+	var/DBQuery/new_mirror = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_ban_mirrors (ban_id, player_ckey, ban_mirror_ip, ban_mirror_computerid, ban_mirror_datetime) VALUES (:ban_id:, :ckey:, :address:, :computerid:, NOW())")
+	new_mirror.Execute(list("ban_id" = ban_id, "ckey" = ckey, "address" = address, "computerid" = computer_id))

 	log_misc("Mirrored ban #[ban_id] for player [ckey] from [address]-[computer_id].")

@@ -515,8 +515,8 @@
 					output += "</tr>"
 				if (bantype in list("PERMABAN", "TEMPBAN"))
 					var/mirror_count = 0
-					var/DBQuery/get_mirrors = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ban_mirror_id FROM ss13_ban_mirrors WHERE ban_id = :ban_id")
-					get_mirrors.Execute(list(":ban_id" = text2num(banid)))
+					var/DBQuery/get_mirrors = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ban_mirror_id FROM ss13_ban_mirrors WHERE ban_id = :ban_id:")
+					get_mirrors.Execute(list("ban_id" = text2num(banid)))

 					while (get_mirrors.NextRow())
 						mirror_count++
@@ -54,13 +54,13 @@ world/IsBanned(key,address,computer_id)
 		var/params[] = list()
 		var/query_content = ""
 		if (pulled_ban_id)
-			query_content = "SELECT id, ckey, ip, computerid, a_ckey, reason, expiration_time, duration, bantime, bantype FROM ss13_ban WHERE id = :ban_id AND (bantype = 'PERMABAN' OR (bantype = 'TEMPBAN' AND expiration_time > Now())) AND isnull(unbanned)"
-			params[":ban_id"] = pulled_ban_id
+			query_content = "SELECT id, ckey, ip, computerid, a_ckey, reason, expiration_time, duration, bantime, bantype FROM ss13_ban WHERE id = :ban_id: AND (bantype = 'PERMABAN' OR (bantype = 'TEMPBAN' AND expiration_time > Now())) AND isnull(unbanned)"
+			params["ban_id"] = pulled_ban_id
 		else
-			query_content = "SELECT id, ckey, ip, computerid, a_ckey, reason, expiration_time, duration, bantime, bantype FROM ss13_ban WHERE (ckey = :ckey OR computerid = :computerid OR ip = :address) AND (bantype = 'PERMABAN' OR (bantype = 'TEMPBAN' AND expiration_time > Now())) AND isnull(unbanned)"
-			params[":ckey"] = ckey
-			params[":computerid"] = computer_id
-			params[":address"] = address
+			query_content = "SELECT id, ckey, ip, computerid, a_ckey, reason, expiration_time, duration, bantime, bantype FROM ss13_ban WHERE (ckey = :ckey: OR computerid = :computerid: OR ip = :address:) AND (bantype = 'PERMABAN' OR (bantype = 'TEMPBAN' AND expiration_time > Now())) AND isnull(unbanned)"
+			params["ckey"] = ckey
+			params["computerid"] = computer_id
+			params["address"] = address

 		var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery(query_content)
 		query.Execute(params)
@@ -5,12 +5,12 @@
 	if(!player_ckey || !note)
 		return

-	var/list/query_details = list(":ckey" = player_ckey, ":address" = player_address ? player_address : null, ":computer_id" = player_computerid ? player_computerid : null, ":a_ckey" = null, ":note" = note)
+	var/list/query_details = list("ckey" = player_ckey, "address" = player_address ? player_address : null, "computer_id" = player_computerid ? player_computerid : null, "a_ckey" = null, "note" = note)

 	if (!user)
-		query_details[":a_ckey"] = "Adminbot"
+		query_details["a_ckey"] = "Adminbot"
 	else
-		query_details[":a_ckey"] = user.ckey
+		query_details["a_ckey"] = user.ckey

 	establish_db_connection(dbcon)
 	if (!dbcon.IsConnected())
@@ -18,15 +18,15 @@
 		return

 	if (!player_address || !player_computerid)
-		var/DBQuery/init_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ip, computerid FROM ss13_player WHERE ckey = :ckey")
-		init_query.Execute(list(":ckey" = player_ckey))
+		var/DBQuery/init_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ip, computerid FROM ss13_player WHERE ckey = :ckey:")
+		init_query.Execute(list("ckey" = player_ckey))
 		if (init_query.NextRow())
-			if (!query_details[":address"])
-				query_details[":address"] = init_query.item[1]
-			if (!query_details[":computer_id"])
-				query_details[":computer_id"] = init_query.item[2]
+			if (!query_details["address"])
+				query_details["address"] = init_query.item[1]
+			if (!query_details["computer_id"])
+				query_details["computer_id"] = init_query.item[2]

-	var/DBQuery/insert_query = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_notes (id, adddate, ckey, ip, computerid, a_ckey, content) VALUES (null, Now(), :ckey, :address, :computer_id, :a_ckey, :note)")
+	var/DBQuery/insert_query = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_notes (id, adddate, ckey, ip, computerid, a_ckey, content) VALUES (null, Now(), :ckey:, :address:, :computer_id:, :a_ckey:, :note:)")
 	insert_query.Execute(query_details)

 	message_admins("<span class='notice'>[key_name_admin(user)] has edited [player_ckey]'s notes.</span>")
@@ -45,8 +45,8 @@
 	var/ckey
 	var/note

-	var/DBQuery/init_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ckey, content FROM ss13_notes WHERE id = :note_id")
-	init_query.Execute(list(":note_id" = note_id))
+	var/DBQuery/init_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ckey, content FROM ss13_notes WHERE id = :note_id:")
+	init_query.Execute(list("note_id" = note_id))
 	while (init_query.NextRow())
 		ckey = init_query.item[1]
 		note = init_query.item[2]
@@ -65,8 +65,8 @@
 	switch (note_edit)
 		if ("delete")
 			if(alert("Delete this note?", "Delete?", "Yes", "No") == "Yes")
-				var/DBQuery/deletequery = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_notes SET visible = 0 WHERE id = :note_id")
-				deletequery.Execute(list(":note_id" = note_id))
+				var/DBQuery/deletequery = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_notes SET visible = 0 WHERE id = :note_id:")
+				deletequery.Execute(list("note_id" = note_id))

 				message_admins("<span class='notice'>[key_name_admin(usr)] deleted one of [ckey]'s notes.</span>")
 				log_admin("[key_name(usr)] deleted one of [ckey]'s notes.",admin_key=key_name(usr),ckey=ckey)
@@ -78,8 +78,8 @@
 			if (!new_content)
 				usr << "Cancelled"
 				return
-			var/DBQuery/editquery = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_notes SET content = :new_content, lasteditor = :a_ckey, lasteditdate = Now(), edited = 1 WHERE id = :note_id")
-			editquery.Execute(list(":new_content" = new_content, ":a_ckey" = usr.client.ckey, ":note_id" = note_id))
+			var/DBQuery/editquery = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_notes SET content = :new_content:, lasteditor = :a_ckey:, lasteditdate = Now(), edited = 1 WHERE id = :note_id:")
+			editquery.Execute(list("new_content" = new_content, "a_ckey" = usr.client.ckey, "note_id" = note_id))

 /datum/admins/proc/show_notes_sql(var/player_ckey = null, var/admin_ckey = null)
 	if (!check_rights(R_ADMIN|R_MOD))
@@ -118,28 +118,26 @@
 	dat += "</tr>"

 	if (player_ckey)
-		var/list/query_details = list(":player_ckey" = player_ckey)
+		var/list/query_details = list("player_ckey" = player_ckey)

 		dat += "<tr><td align='center' colspan='4' bgcolor='white'><b><a href='?src=\ref[src];add_player_info=[player_ckey]'>Add Note</a></b></td></tr>"

-		var/DBQuery/init_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ip, computerid FROM ss13_player WHERE ckey = :player_ckey")
+		var/DBQuery/init_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ip, computerid FROM ss13_player WHERE ckey = :player_ckey:")
 		init_query.Execute(query_details)
 		if (init_query.NextRow())
-			query_details += ":player_address"
-			query_details += ":player_computerid"
-			query_details[":player_address"] = init_query.item[1]
-			query_details[":player_computerid"] = init_query.item[2]
+			query_details["player_address"] = init_query.item[1]
+			query_details["player_computerid"] = init_query.item[2]

-		var/query_content = "SELECT id, adddate, ckey, a_ckey, content, edited, lasteditor, lasteditdate FROM ss13_notes WHERE ckey = :player_ckey AND visible = '1'"
+		var/query_content = "SELECT id, adddate, ckey, a_ckey, content, edited, lasteditor, lasteditdate FROM ss13_notes WHERE ckey = :player_ckey: AND visible = '1'"

-		if (query_details[":player_address"])
-			query_content += " OR ip = :player_address AND visible = '1'"
-		if (query_details[":player_computerid"])
-			query_content += " OR computerid = :player_computerid AND visible = '1'"
+		if (query_details["player_address"])
+			query_content += " OR ip = :player_address: AND visible = '1'"
+		if (query_details["player_computerid"])
+			query_content += " OR computerid = :player_computerid: AND visible = '1'"

 		query_content += " ORDER BY adddate ASC"
 		var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery(query_content)
-		query.Execute(query_details, 1)
+		query.Execute(query_details)

 		while (query.NextRow())
 			var/id = text2num(query.item[1])
@@ -161,9 +159,9 @@
 				dat += "<tr><td colspan='4' bgcolor='white'>&nbsp</td></tr>"

 	else if (admin_ckey && !player_ckey)
-		var/aquery_content = "SELECT id, adddate, ckey, content, edited, lasteditor, lasteditdate FROM ss13_notes WHERE a_ckey = :a_ckey AND visible = '1' ORDER BY adddate ASC"
+		var/aquery_content = "SELECT id, adddate, ckey, content, edited, lasteditor, lasteditdate FROM ss13_notes WHERE a_ckey = :a_ckey: AND visible = '1' ORDER BY adddate ASC"
 		var/DBQuery/admin_query = dbcon.NewQuery(aquery_content)
-		admin_query.Execute(list(":a_ckey" = admin_ckey))
+		admin_query.Execute(list("a_ckey" = admin_ckey))

 		while (admin_query.NextRow())
 			var/id = text2num(admin_query.item[1])
@@ -192,8 +190,8 @@
 	if (!dbcon.IsConnected())
 		return "Unable to establish database connection! Aborting!"

-	var/DBQuery/info_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ip, computerid FROM ss13_player WHERE ckey = :ckey")
-	info_query.Execute(list(":ckey" = ckey))
+	var/DBQuery/info_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ip, computerid FROM ss13_player WHERE ckey = :ckey:")
+	info_query.Execute(list("ckey" = ckey))

 	var/address = null
 	var/computer_id = null
@@ -201,15 +199,15 @@
 		address = info_query.item[1]
 		computer_id = info_query.item[2]

-	var/query_content = "SELECT a_ckey, adddate, content FROM ss13_notes WHERE visible = '1' AND ckey = :ckey"
-	var/query_details = list(":ckey" = ckey, ":address" = address, ":computerid" = computer_id)
+	var/query_content = "SELECT a_ckey, adddate, content FROM ss13_notes WHERE visible = '1' AND ckey = :ckey:"
+	var/query_details = list("ckey" = ckey, "address" = address, "computerid" = computer_id)
 	if (address)
-		query_content += " OR ip = :address"
+		query_content += " OR ip = :address:"
 	if (computer_id)
-		query_content += " OR computerid = :computerid"
+		query_content += " OR computerid = :computerid:"

 	var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery(query_content)
-	query.Execute(query_details, 1)
+	query.Execute(query_details)

 	var/notes
 	while (query.NextRow())
@@ -36,15 +36,15 @@
 		warned_computerid = C.computer_id
 		warned_ip = C.address
 	else
-		var/DBQuery/lookup_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ip, computerid FROM ss13_player WHERE ckey = :ckey")
-		lookup_query.Execute(list(":ckey" = warned_ckey))
+		var/DBQuery/lookup_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ip, computerid FROM ss13_player WHERE ckey = :ckey:")
+		lookup_query.Execute(list("ckey" = warned_ckey))

 		if (lookup_query.NextRow())
 			warned_ip = lookup_query.item[1]
 			warned_computerid = lookup_query.item[2]

-	var/DBQuery/insert_query = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_warnings (id, time, severity, reason, notes, ckey, computerid, ip, a_ckey, a_ip, a_computerid) VALUES (null, Now(), :warning_severity, :warning_reason, :warning_notes, :warned_ckey, :warned_computerid, :warned_ip, :a_ckey, :a_ip, :a_computerid)")
-	insert_query.Execute(list(":warning_severity" = warning_severity, ":warning_reason" = warning_reason, ":warning_notes" = warning_notes, ":warned_ckey" = warned_ckey, ":warned_computerid" = warned_computerid, ":warned_ip" = warned_ip, ":a_ckey" = ckey, ":a_ip" = address, ":a_computerid" = computer_id))
+	var/DBQuery/insert_query = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_warnings (id, time, severity, reason, notes, ckey, computerid, ip, a_ckey, a_ip, a_computerid) VALUES (null, Now(), :warning_severity:, :warning_reason:, :warning_notes:, :warned_ckey:, :warned_computerid:, :warned_ip:, :a_ckey:, :a_ip:, :a_computerid:)")
+	insert_query.Execute(list("warning_severity" = warning_severity, "warning_reason" = warning_reason, "warning_notes" = warning_notes, "warned_ckey" = warned_ckey, "warned_computerid" = warned_computerid, "warned_ip" = warned_ip, "a_ckey" = ckey, "a_ip" = address, "a_computerid" = computer_id))

 	notes_add_sql(warned_ckey, "Warning added by [ckey], for: [warning_reason]. || Notes regarding the warning: [warning_notes].", src, warned_ip, warned_computerid)

@@ -124,8 +124,8 @@
 	dat += "<th width='60%'>REASON</th>"
 	dat += "</tr>"

-	var/DBQuery/search_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id, time, severity, reason, a_ckey, acknowledged, expired FROM ss13_warnings WHERE visible = 1 AND (ckey = :ckey OR computerid = :computer_id OR ip = :address) ORDER BY time DESC;")
-	search_query.Execute(list(":ckey" = ckey, ":computer_id" = computer_id, ":address" = address))
+	var/DBQuery/search_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id, time, severity, reason, a_ckey, acknowledged, expired FROM ss13_warnings WHERE visible = 1 AND (ckey = :ckey: OR computerid = :computer_id: OR ip = :address:) ORDER BY time DESC;")
+	search_query.Execute(list("ckey" = ckey, "computer_id" = computer_id, "address" = address))

 	while (search_query.NextRow())
 		var/id = text2num(search_query.item[1])
@@ -177,8 +177,8 @@
 		alert("Connection to SQL database failed while attempting to update your warning's status!")
 		return

-	var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_warnings SET acknowledged = 1 WHERE id = :warning_id;")
-	query.Execute(list(":warning_id" = warning_id))
+	var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_warnings SET acknowledged = 1 WHERE id = :warning_id:;")
+	query.Execute(list("warning_id" = warning_id))

 	warnings_check()

@@ -194,17 +194,17 @@
 	if (!dbcon.IsConnected())
 		return

-	var/list/client_details = list(":ckey" = ckey, ":computer_id" = computer_id, ":address" = address)
+	var/list/client_details = list("ckey" = ckey, "computer_id" = computer_id, "address" = address)

-	var/DBQuery/expire_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id FROM ss13_warnings WHERE (acknowledged = 1 AND expired = 0 AND DATE_SUB(CURDATE(),INTERVAL 3 MONTH) > time) AND (ckey = :ckey OR computerid = :computer_id OR ip = :address)")
+	var/DBQuery/expire_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id FROM ss13_warnings WHERE (acknowledged = 1 AND expired = 0 AND DATE_SUB(CURDATE(),INTERVAL 3 MONTH) > time) AND (ckey = :ckey: OR computerid = :computer_id: OR ip = :address:)")
 	expire_query.Execute(client_details)
 	while (expire_query.NextRow())
 		var/warning_id = text2num(expire_query.item[1])
-		var/DBQuery/update_query = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_warnings SET expired = 1 WHERE id = :warning_id")
-		update_query.Execute(list(":warning_id" = warning_id))
+		var/DBQuery/update_query = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_warnings SET expired = 1 WHERE id = :warning_id:")
+		update_query.Execute(list("warning_id" = warning_id))
 		count_expire++

-	var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id FROM ss13_warnings WHERE (visible = 1 AND acknowledged = 0 AND expired = 0) AND (ckey = :ckey OR computerid = :computer_id OR ip = :address)")
+	var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id FROM ss13_warnings WHERE (visible = 1 AND acknowledged = 0 AND expired = 0) AND (ckey = :ckey: OR computerid = :computer_id: OR ip = :address:)")
 	query.Execute(client_details)
 	while (query.NextRow())
 		count++
@@ -265,18 +265,18 @@
 		dat += "<th width='60%'>REASON</th>"
 		dat += "</tr>"

-		var/list/query_details = list(":a_ckey", ":ckey")
+		var/list/query_details = list("a_ckey", "ckey")
 		var/paramone = ""
 		var/paramtwo = ""
 		if(adminckey)
-			paramone = "AND a_ckey = :a_ckey "
-			query_details[":a_ckey"] = adminckey
+			paramone = "AND a_ckey = :a_ckey: "
+			query_details["a_ckey"] = adminckey
 		if(playerckey)
-			paramtwo = "AND ckey = :ckey "
-			query_details[":ckey"] = playerckey
+			paramtwo = "AND ckey = :ckey: "
+			query_details["ckey"] = playerckey

 		var/DBQuery/search_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id, time, severity, reason, notes, ckey, a_ckey, acknowledged, expired, edited, lasteditor, lasteditdate FROM ss13_warnings WHERE visible = 1 [paramone] [paramtwo] ORDER BY time DESC;")
-		search_query.Execute(query_details, 1)
+		search_query.Execute(query_details)

 		while (search_query.NextRow())
 			var/id = text2num(search_query.item[1])
@@ -351,10 +351,10 @@
 	var/ckey
 	var/reason
 	var/notes
-	var/list/query_details = list(":warning_id" = warning_id, ":a_ckey" = usr.ckey)
+	var/list/query_details = list("warning_id" = warning_id, "a_ckey" = usr.ckey)

-	var/DBQuery/initial_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ckey, reason, notes FROM ss13_warnings WHERE id = :warning_id")
-	initial_query.Execute(query_details, 1)
+	var/DBQuery/initial_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT ckey, reason, notes FROM ss13_warnings WHERE id = :warning_id:")
+	initial_query.Execute(query_details)
 	while (initial_query.NextRow())
 		ckey = initial_query.item[1]
 		reason = initial_query.item[2]
@@ -374,8 +374,8 @@
 	switch (warning_edit)
 		if ("delete")
 			if(alert("Delete this warning?", "Delete?", "Yes", "No") == "Yes")
-				var/DBQuery/deleteQuery = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_warnings SET visible = 0 WHERE id = :warning_id")
-				deleteQuery.Execute(query_details, 1)
+				var/DBQuery/deleteQuery = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_warnings SET visible = 0 WHERE id = :warning_id:")
+				deleteQuery.Execute(query_details)

 				message_admins("<span class='notice'>[key_name_admin(usr)] deleted one of [ckey]'s warnings.</span>")
 				log_admin("[key_name(usr)] deleted one of [ckey]'s warnings.", admin_key=key_name(usr), ckey=ckey)
@@ -384,29 +384,27 @@
 				return

 		if ("editReason")
-			query_details += ":new_reason"
-			query_details[":new_reason"] = input("Edit this warning's reason.", "New Reason", reason, null) as null|text
+			query_details["new_reason"] = input("Edit this warning's reason.", "New Reason", reason, null) as null|text

-			if(!query_details[":new_reason"] || query_details[":new_reason"] == reason)
+			if(!query_details["new_reason"] || query_details["new_reason"] == reason)
 				usr << "Cancelled"
 				return

-			var/DBQuery/reason_query = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_warnings SET reason = :new_reason, edited = 1, lasteditor = :a_ckey, lasteditdate = NOW() WHERE id = :warning_id")
-			reason_query.Execute(query_details, 1)
+			var/DBQuery/reason_query = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_warnings SET reason = :new_reason:, edited = 1, lasteditor = :a_ckey:, lasteditdate = NOW() WHERE id = :warning_id:")
+			reason_query.Execute(query_details)

 			message_admins("<span class='notice'>[key_name_admin(usr)] edited one of [ckey]'s warning reasons.</span>")
 			log_admin("[key_name(usr)] edited one of [ckey]'s warning reasons.", admin_key=key_name(usr), ckey=ckey)

 		if("editNotes")
-			query_details += ":new_notes"
-			query_details[":new_notes"] = input("Edit this warning's notes.", "New Notes", notes, null) as null|text
+			query_details["new_notes"] = input("Edit this warning's notes.", "New Notes", notes, null) as null|text

-			if(!query_details[":new_notes"] || query_details[":new_notes"] == notes)
+			if(!query_details["new_notes"] || query_details["new_notes"] == notes)
 				usr << "Cancelled"
 				return

-			var/DBQuery/notes_query = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_warnings SET notes = :new_notes, edited = 1, lasteditor = :a_ckey, lasteditdate = NOW() WHERE id = :warning_id")
-			notes_query.Execute(query_details, 1)
+			var/DBQuery/notes_query = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_warnings SET notes = :new_notes:, edited = 1, lasteditor = :a_ckey:, lasteditdate = NOW() WHERE id = :warning_id:")
+			notes_query.Execute(query_details)

 			message_admins("<span class='notice'>[key_name_admin(usr)] edited one of [ckey]'s warning notes.</span>")
 			log_admin("[key_name(usr)] edited one of [ckey]'s warning notes.", admin_key=key_name(usr), ckey=ckey)
@@ -30,8 +30,8 @@

 /datum/preferences/proc/load_character_contest(slot)
 	if (config.antag_contest_enabled && config.sql_enabled && establish_db_connection(dbcon))
-		var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT contest_faction FROM ss13_contest_participants WHERE character_id = :char_id")
-		query.Execute(list(":char_id" = slot))
+		var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT contest_faction FROM ss13_contest_participants WHERE character_id = :char_id:")
+		query.Execute(list("char_id" = slot))

 		if (query.NextRow())
 			antag_contest_faction = text2num(query.item[1])
@@ -52,4 +52,4 @@
 	var/obj/item/organ/external/affected = M.organs_by_name["head"]
 	affected.implants += L
 	L.part = affected
-	L.implanted(src)
+	L.implanted(src)
@@ -54,16 +54,16 @@
 		error("Unable to establish database connection while logging objective results!")
 		return

-	var/DBQuery/get_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT contest_faction FROM ss13_contest_participants WHERE player_ckey = :ckey AND character_id = :char_id")
-	get_query.Execute(list(":ckey" = owner.current.client.ckey, ":char_id" = owner.current.client.prefs.current_character))
+	var/DBQuery/get_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT contest_faction FROM ss13_contest_participants WHERE player_ckey = :ckey: AND character_id = :char_id:")
+	get_query.Execute(list("ckey" = owner.current.client.ckey, "char_id" = owner.current.client.prefs.current_character))

-	var/params[] = list(":ckey" = owner.current.client.ckey, ":char_id" = owner.current.client.prefs.current_character, ":char_faction" = INDEP, ":obj_type" = type_name, ":obj_side" = side, ":obj_outcome" = completed)
+	var/params[] = list("ckey" = owner.current.client.ckey, "char_id" = owner.current.client.prefs.current_character, "char_faction" = INDEP, "obj_type" = type_name, "obj_side" = side, "obj_outcome" = completed)

 	if (get_query.NextRow())
 		var/list/faction_data = contest_faction_data(get_query.item[1])
-		params[":char_faction"] = faction_data[1]
+		params["char_faction"] = faction_data[1]

-	var/DBQuery/log_query = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_contest_reports (id, player_ckey, character_id, character_faction, objective_type, objective_side, objective_outcome, objective_datetime) VALUES (NULL, :ckey, :char_id, :char_faction, :obj_type, :obj_side, :obj_outcome, NOW())")
+	var/DBQuery/log_query = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_contest_reports (id, player_ckey, character_id, character_faction, objective_type, objective_side, objective_outcome, objective_datetime) VALUES (NULL, :ckey:, :char_id:, :char_faction:, :obj_type:, :obj_side:, :obj_outcome:, NOW())")
 	log_query.Execute(params)

 	if (log_query.ErrorMsg())
@@ -34,8 +34,8 @@
 		src << "<span class='warning'>Failed to establish SQL connection! Contact a member of staff!</span>"
 		return

-	var/DBQuery/character_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id, name FROM ss13_characters WHERE ckey = :ckey AND deleted_at IS NULL")
-	character_query.Execute(list(":ckey" = src.ckey))
+	var/DBQuery/character_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id, name FROM ss13_characters WHERE ckey = :ckey: AND deleted_at IS NULL")
+	character_query.Execute(list("ckey" = src.ckey))
 	var/list/char_ids = list()

 	while (character_query.NextRow())
@@ -45,8 +45,8 @@
 		src << "<span class='warning'>Something went horribly wrong! Apparently you don't have any saved characters?</span>"
 		return

-	var/DBQuery/participation_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT character_id, contest_faction FROM ss13_contest_participants WHERE character_id IN :char_ids")
-	participation_query.Execute(list(":char_ids" = char_ids))
+	var/DBQuery/participation_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT character_id, contest_faction FROM ss13_contest_participants WHERE character_id IN :char_ids:")
+	participation_query.Execute(list("char_ids" = char_ids))

 	while (participation_query.NextRow())
 		char_ids[participation_query.item[1]]["assigned"] = 1
@@ -102,8 +102,8 @@
 		src << "<span class='warning'>Failed to establish SQL connection! Contact a member of staff!</span>"
 		return

-	var/DBQuery/part_check = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT contest_faction FROM ss13_contest_participants WHERE character_id = :char_id AND player_ckey = :ckey")
-	part_check.Execute(list(":char_id" = src.prefs.current_character, ":ckey" = src.ckey))
+	var/DBQuery/part_check = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT contest_faction FROM ss13_contest_participants WHERE character_id = :char_id: AND player_ckey = :ckey:")
+	part_check.Execute(list("char_id" = src.prefs.current_character, "ckey" = src.ckey))

 	if (part_check.NextRow())
 		var/list/available_objs
@@ -244,12 +244,12 @@
 				src << "<span class='notice'>Cancelled</span>"
 				return

-			var/list/sql_args = list(":ckey" = src.ckey, ":char_id" = href["char_id"], ":new_side" = contest_factions[choice])
+			var/list/sql_args = list("ckey" = src.ckey, "char_id" = href["char_id"], "new_side" = contest_factions[choice])

-			var/query_content = "UPDATE ss13_contest_participants SET contest_faction = :new_side WHERE player_ckey = :ckey AND character_id = :char_id"
+			var/query_content = "UPDATE ss13_contest_participants SET contest_faction = :new_side: WHERE player_ckey = :ckey: AND character_id = :char_id:"

 			if (text2num(href["previously_assigned"]) == 0)
-				query_content = "INSERT INTO ss13_contest_participants (player_ckey, character_id, contest_faction) VALUES (:ckey, :char_id, :new_side)"
+				query_content = "INSERT INTO ss13_contest_participants (player_ckey, character_id, contest_faction) VALUES (:ckey:, :char_id:, :new_side:)"

 			var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery(query_content)
 			query.Execute(sql_args)
@@ -106,8 +106,8 @@
 			return


-		var/DBQuery/check_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT player_ckey, status FROM ss13_player_linking WHERE id = :id")
-		check_query.Execute(list(":id" = request_id))
+		var/DBQuery/check_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT player_ckey, status FROM ss13_player_linking WHERE id = :id:")
+		check_query.Execute(list("id" = request_id))

 		if (!check_query.NextRow())
 			src << "<span class='warning'>No request found!</span>"
@@ -118,19 +118,19 @@
 			return

 		var/query_contents = ""
-		var/list/query_details = list(":new_status", ":id")
+		var/list/query_details = list("new_status", "id")
 		var/feedback_message = ""
 		switch (href_list["linkingaction"])
 			if ("accept")
-				query_contents = "UPDATE ss13_player_linking SET status = :new_status, updated_at = NOW() WHERE id = :id"
-				query_details[":new_status"] = "confirmed"
-				query_details[":id"] = request_id
+				query_contents = "UPDATE ss13_player_linking SET status = :new_status:, updated_at = NOW() WHERE id = :id:"
+				query_details["new_status"] = "confirmed"
+				query_details["id"] = request_id

 				feedback_message = "<font color='green'><b>Account successfully linked!</b></font>"
 			if ("deny")
-				query_contents = "UPDATE ss13_player_linking SET status = :new_status, deleted_at = NOW() WHERE id = :id"
-				query_details[":new_status"] = "rejected"
-				query_details[":id"] = request_id
+				query_contents = "UPDATE ss13_player_linking SET status = :new_status:, deleted_at = NOW() WHERE id = :id:"
+				query_details["new_status"] = "rejected"
+				query_details["id"] = request_id

 				feedback_message = "<font color='red'><b>Link request rejected!</b></font>"
 			else
@@ -516,9 +516,9 @@
 		return

 	var/list/requests = list()
-	var/list/query_details = list(":ckey" = ckey)
+	var/list/query_details = list("ckey" = ckey)

-	var/DBQuery/select_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id, forum_id, forum_username, datediff(Now(), created_at) as request_age FROM ss13_player_linking WHERE status = 'new' AND player_ckey = :ckey AND deleted_at IS NULL")
+	var/DBQuery/select_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id, forum_id, forum_username, datediff(Now(), created_at) as request_age FROM ss13_player_linking WHERE status = 'new' AND player_ckey = :ckey: AND deleted_at IS NULL")
 	select_query.Execute(query_details)

 	while (select_query.NextRow())
@@ -553,8 +553,8 @@
 	if (!dbcon.IsConnected())
 		return

-	var/DBQuery/select_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT COUNT(*) AS request_count FROM ss13_player_linking WHERE status = 'new' AND player_ckey = :ckey AND deleted_at IS NULL")
-	select_query.Execute(list(":ckey" = ckey))
+	var/DBQuery/select_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT COUNT(*) AS request_count FROM ss13_player_linking WHERE status = 'new' AND player_ckey = :ckey: AND deleted_at IS NULL")
+	select_query.Execute(list("ckey" = ckey))

 	if (select_query.NextRow())
 		if (text2num(select_query.item[1]) > 0)
@@ -12,13 +12,13 @@
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("vars" = list("be_special_role"), "args" = list("id")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/antagonism/candidacy/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":id" = pref.current_character)
+	return list("id" = pref.current_character)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/antagonism/candidacy/gather_save_query()
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("be_special_role", "id" = 1, "ckey" = 1))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/antagonism/candidacy/gather_save_parameters()
-	return list(":be_special_role" = list2params(pref.be_special_role), ":id" = pref.current_character, ":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("be_special_role" = list2params(pref.be_special_role), "id" = pref.current_character, "ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/antagonism/candidacy/sanitize_character(var/sql_load = 0)
 	if (sql_load)
@@ -17,14 +17,14 @@ var/global/list/uplink_locations = list("PDA", "Headset", "None")
 				"ss13_characters" = list("vars" = list("uplink_location" = "uplinklocation"), "args" = list("id")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/antagonism/basic/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":char_id" = pref.current_character, ":id" = pref.current_character)
+	return list("char_id" = pref.current_character, "id" = pref.current_character)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/antagonism/basic/gather_save_query()
 	return list("ss13_characters_flavour" = list("records_exploit", "char_id" = 1),
 				"ss13_characters" = list("uplink_location", "id" = 1, "ckey" = 1))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/antagonism/basic/gather_save_parameters()
-	return list(":records_exploit" = pref.exploit_record, ":char_id" = pref.current_character, ":uplink_location" = pref.uplinklocation, ":id" = pref.current_character, ":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("records_exploit" = pref.exploit_record, "char_id" = pref.current_character, "uplink_location" = pref.uplinklocation, "id" = pref.current_character, "ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/antagonism/basic/sanitize_character()
 	pref.uplinklocation	= sanitize_inlist(pref.uplinklocation, uplink_locations, initial(pref.uplinklocation))
@@ -26,7 +26,7 @@
 										"args" = list("id")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/basic/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":id" = pref.current_character)
+	return list("id" = pref.current_character)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/basic/gather_save_query()
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("name",
@@ -38,13 +38,13 @@
 										 "ckey" = 1))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/basic/gather_save_parameters()
-	return list(":name" = pref.real_name,
-				":gender" = pref.gender,
-				":age" = pref.age,
-				":metadata" = pref.metadata,
-				":spawnpoint" = pref.spawnpoint,
-				":id" = pref.current_character,
-				":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("name" = pref.real_name,
+				"gender" = pref.gender,
+				"age" = pref.age,
+				"metadata" = pref.metadata,
+				"spawnpoint" = pref.spawnpoint,
+				"id" = pref.current_character,
+				"ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/basic/load_special()
 	pref.can_edit_name = 1
@@ -55,8 +55,8 @@

 		// Called /after/ loading and /before/ sanitization.
 		// So we have pref.current_character. It's just in text format.
-		var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT DATEDIFF(NOW(), created_at) AS DiffDate FROM ss13_characters WHERE id = :id")
-		query.Execute(list(":id" = text2num(pref.current_character)))
+		var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT DATEDIFF(NOW(), created_at) AS DiffDate FROM ss13_characters WHERE id = :id:")
+		query.Execute(list("id" = text2num(pref.current_character)))

 		if (query.NextRow())
 			if (text2num(query.item[1]) > 5)
@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("vars" = list("language" = "alternate_languages"), "args" = list("id")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/language/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":id" = pref.current_character)
+	return list("id" = pref.current_character)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/language/gather_save_query()
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("id" = 1,
@@ -20,9 +20,9 @@
 										 "language"))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/language/gather_save_parameters()
-	return list(":language" = list2params(pref.alternate_languages),
-				":id" = pref.current_character,
-				":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("language" = list2params(pref.alternate_languages),
+				"id" = pref.current_character,
+				"ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/language/sanitize_character(var/sql_load = 0)
 	if (sql_load)
@@ -64,7 +64,7 @@ var/global/list/valid_bloodtypes = list("A+", "A-", "B+", "B-", "AB+", "AB-", "O
 										"args" = list("id")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/body/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":id" = pref.current_character)
+	return list("id" = pref.current_character)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/body/gather_save_query()
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("species",
@@ -83,20 +83,20 @@ var/global/list/valid_bloodtypes = list("A+", "A-", "B+", "B-", "AB+", "AB-", "O
 										 "ckey" = 1))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/body/gather_save_parameters()
-	return list(":species" = pref.species,
-				":hair_colour" = "#" + num2hex(pref.r_hair, 2) + num2hex(pref.g_hair, 2) + num2hex(pref.b_hair, 2),
-				":facial_colour" = "#" + num2hex(pref.r_facial, 2) + num2hex(pref.g_facial, 2) + num2hex(pref.b_facial, 2),
-				":skin_tone" = pref.s_tone,
-				":skin_colour" = "#" + num2hex(pref.r_skin, 2) + num2hex(pref.g_skin, 2) + num2hex(pref.b_skin, 2),
-				":hair_style" = pref.h_style,
-				":facial_style" = pref.f_style,
-				":eyes_colour" = "#" + num2hex(pref.r_eyes, 2) + num2hex(pref.g_eyes, 2) + num2hex(pref.b_eyes, 2),
-				":b_type" = pref.b_type,
-				":disabilities" = pref.disabilities,
-				":organs_data" = list2params(pref.organ_data),
-				":organs_robotic"= list2params(pref.rlimb_data),
-				":id" = pref.current_character,
-				":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("species" = pref.species,
+				"hair_colour" = "#" + num2hex(pref.r_hair, 2) + num2hex(pref.g_hair, 2) + num2hex(pref.b_hair, 2),
+				"facial_colour" = "#" + num2hex(pref.r_facial, 2) + num2hex(pref.g_facial, 2) + num2hex(pref.b_facial, 2),
+				"skin_tone" = pref.s_tone,
+				"skin_colour" = "#" + num2hex(pref.r_skin, 2) + num2hex(pref.g_skin, 2) + num2hex(pref.b_skin, 2),
+				"hair_style" = pref.h_style,
+				"facial_style" = pref.f_style,
+				"eyes_colour" = "#" + num2hex(pref.r_eyes, 2) + num2hex(pref.g_eyes, 2) + num2hex(pref.b_eyes, 2),
+				"b_type" = pref.b_type,
+				"disabilities" = pref.disabilities,
+				"organs_data" = list2params(pref.organ_data),
+				"organs_robotic"= list2params(pref.rlimb_data),
+				"id" = pref.current_character,
+				"ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/body/sanitize_character(var/sql_load = 0)
 	if(!pref.species || !(pref.species in playable_species))
@@ -18,13 +18,13 @@
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("vars" = list("underwear", "undershirt", "socks", "backbag"), "args" = list("id")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/equipment/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":id" = pref.current_character)
+	return list("id" = pref.current_character)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/equipment/gather_save_query()
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("underwear", "undershirt", "socks", "backbag", "id" = 1, "ckey" = 1))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/equipment/gather_save_parameters()
-	return list(":underwear" = pref.underwear, ":undershirt" = pref.undershirt, ":socks" = pref.socks, ":backbag" = pref.backbag, ":id" = pref.current_character, ":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("underwear" = pref.underwear, "undershirt" = pref.undershirt, "socks" = pref.socks, "backbag" = pref.backbag, "id" = pref.current_character, "ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/equipment/sanitize_character(var/sql_load = 0)
 	if (sql_load)
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@
 				"ss13_characters" = list("vars" = list("home_system", "citizenship", "faction", "religion"), "args" = list("id")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/background/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":id" = pref.current_character, ":char_id" = pref.current_character)
+	return list("id" = pref.current_character, "char_id" = pref.current_character)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/background/gather_save_query()
 	return list("ss13_characters_flavour" = list("records_employment",
@@ -41,16 +41,16 @@
 				"ss13_characters" = list("home_system", "citizenship", "faction", "religion", "id" = 1, "ckey" = 1))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/background/gather_save_parameters()
-	return list(":records_employment" = pref.gen_record,
-				":records_medical" = pref.med_record,
-				":records_security" = pref.sec_record,
-				":char_id" = pref.current_character,
-				":home_system" = pref.home_system,
-				":citizenship" = pref.citizenship,
-				":faction" = pref.faction,
-				":religion" = pref.religion,
-				":id" = pref.current_character,
-				":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("records_employment" = pref.gen_record,
+				"records_medical" = pref.med_record,
+				"records_security" = pref.sec_record,
+				"char_id" = pref.current_character,
+				"home_system" = pref.home_system,
+				"citizenship" = pref.citizenship,
+				"faction" = pref.faction,
+				"religion" = pref.religion,
+				"id" = pref.current_character,
+				"ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/background/sanitize_character()
 	if(!pref.home_system)
@@ -59,7 +59,7 @@
 	return list("ss13_characters_flavour" = list("vars" = var_list, "args" = list("char_id")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/flavor/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":char_id" = pref.current_character)
+	return list("char_id" = pref.current_character)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/flavor/gather_save_query()
 	var/list/var_list = list("flavour_general",
@@ -82,22 +82,22 @@
 	return list("ss13_characters_flavour" = var_list)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/general/flavor/gather_save_parameters()
-	var/list/var_list = list(":char_id" = pref.current_character,
-							":flavour_general" = pref.flavor_texts["general"],
-							":flavour_head" = pref.flavor_texts["head"],
-							":flavour_face" = pref.flavor_texts["face"],
-							":flavour_eyes" = pref.flavor_texts["eyes"],
-							":flavour_torso" = pref.flavor_texts["torso"],
-							":flavour_arms" = pref.flavor_texts["arms"],
-							":flavour_hands" = pref.flavor_texts["hands"],
-							":flavour_legs" = pref.flavor_texts["legs"],
-							":flavour_feet" = pref.flavor_texts["feet"],
-							":robot_default" = pref.flavour_texts_robot["default"],
-							":signature_font" = pref.signfont,
-							":signature" = pref.signature)
+	var/list/var_list = list("char_id" = pref.current_character,
+							"flavour_general" = pref.flavor_texts["general"],
+							"flavour_head" = pref.flavor_texts["head"],
+							"flavour_face" = pref.flavor_texts["face"],
+							"flavour_eyes" = pref.flavor_texts["eyes"],
+							"flavour_torso" = pref.flavor_texts["torso"],
+							"flavour_arms" = pref.flavor_texts["arms"],
+							"flavour_hands" = pref.flavor_texts["hands"],
+							"flavour_legs" = pref.flavor_texts["legs"],
+							"flavour_feet" = pref.flavor_texts["feet"],
+							"robot_default" = pref.flavour_texts_robot["default"],
+							"signature" = pref.signature,
+							"signature_font" = pref.signfont)

 	for (var/module in robot_module_types)
-		var_list[":robot_[module]"] += pref.flavour_texts_robot[module]
+		var_list["robot_[module]"] += pref.flavour_texts_robot[module]

 	return var_list

@@ -18,13 +18,13 @@
 	return list("ss13_player_preferences" = list("vars" = list("UI_style", "UI_style_color", "UI_style_alpha", "ooccolor"), "args" = list("ckey")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/ui/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/ui/gather_save_query()
 	return list("ss13_player_preferences" = list("UI_style", "UI_style_color", "UI_style_alpha", "ooccolor", "ckey" = 1))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/ui/gather_save_parameters()
-	return list(":ckey" = pref.client.ckey, ":UI_style_alpha" = pref.UI_style_alpha, ":UI_style_color" = pref.UI_style_color, ":UI_style" = pref.UI_style, ":ooccolor" = pref.ooccolor)
+	return list("ckey" = pref.client.ckey, "UI_style_alpha" = pref.UI_style_alpha, "UI_style_color" = pref.UI_style_color, "UI_style" = pref.UI_style, "ooccolor" = pref.ooccolor)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/ui/sanitize_preferences()
 	pref.UI_style		= sanitize_inlist(pref.UI_style, all_ui_styles, initial(pref.UI_style))
@@ -26,21 +26,21 @@
 	return list("ss13_player_preferences" = list("vars" = list("lastchangelog", "current_character", "toggles", "asfx_togs", "lastmotd" = "motd_hash", "lastmemo" = "memo_hash"), "args" = list("ckey")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/settings/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/settings/gather_save_query()
 	return list("ss13_player_preferences" = list("lastchangelog", "current_character", "toggles", "asfx_togs", "lastmotd", "lastmemo", "ckey" = 1, "parallax_toggles", "parallax_speed"))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/settings/gather_save_parameters()
-	return list(":ckey" = pref.client.ckey,
-				":lastchangelog" = pref.lastchangelog,
-				":current_character" = pref.current_character,
-				":toggles" = pref.toggles,
-				":asfx_togs" = pref.asfx_togs,
-				":lastmotd" = pref.motd_hash,
-				":lastmemo" = pref.memo_hash,
-				":parallax_toggles" = pref.parallax_togs,
-				":parallax_speed" = pref.parallax_speed)
+	return list("ckey" = pref.client.ckey,
+				"lastchangelog" = pref.lastchangelog,
+				"current_character" = pref.current_character,
+				"toggles" = pref.toggles,
+				"asfx_togs" = pref.asfx_togs,
+				"lastmotd" = pref.motd_hash,
+				"lastmemo" = pref.memo_hash,
+				"parallax_toggles" = pref.parallax_togs,
+				"parallax_speed" = pref.parallax_speed)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/settings/sanitize_preferences(var/sql_load = 0)
 	if (sql_load)
@@ -12,13 +12,13 @@
 	return list("ss13_player_preferences" = list("vars" = list("language_prefixes"), "args" = list("ckey")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/language/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/language/gather_save_query()
 	return list("ss13_player_preferences" = list("language_prefixes", "ckey" = 1))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/language/gather_save_parameters()
-	return list(":ckey" = pref.client.ckey, ":language_prefixes" = list2params(pref.language_prefixes))
+	return list("ckey" = pref.client.ckey, "language_prefixes" = list2params(pref.language_prefixes))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/language/sanitize_preferences(var/sql_load = 0)
 	if (sql_load && pref.language_prefixes)
@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@
 	return list("ss13_player_pai" = list("vars" = list("name" = "pai/name", "description" = "pai/description", "role" = "pai/role", "comments" = "pai/comments"), "args" = list("ckey")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/pai/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/pai/gather_save_query()
 	return list("ss13_player_pai" = list("name", "description", "role", "comments", "ckey" = 1))
@@ -40,7 +40,7 @@
 	if (!candidate)
 		return list()

-	return list(":ckey" = pref.client.ckey, ":name" = candidate.name, ":description" = candidate.description, ":role" = candidate.role, ":comments" = candidate.comments)
+	return list("ckey" = pref.client.ckey, "name" = candidate.name, "description" = candidate.description, "role" = candidate.role, "comments" = candidate.comments)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/player_global/pai/sanitize_preferences(var/sql_load = 0)
 	if (sql_load && candidate && pref.pai.len)
@@ -44,7 +44,7 @@ var/list/gear_datums = list()
 	S["gear"] << pref.gear

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/loadout/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":id" = pref.current_character)
+	return list("id" = pref.current_character)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/loadout/gather_load_query()
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("vars" = list("gear"), "args" = list("id")))
@@ -53,7 +53,7 @@ var/list/gear_datums = list()
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("gear", "id" = 1, "ckey" = 1))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/loadout/gather_save_parameters()
-	return list(":gear" = json_encode(pref.gear), ":id" = pref.current_character, ":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("gear" = json_encode(pref.gear), "id" = pref.current_character, "ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/loadout/proc/valid_gear_choices(var/max_cost)
 	. = list()
@@ -37,7 +37,7 @@
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("vars" = list("jobs" = "unsanitized_jobs", "alternate_option", "alternate_titles" = "player_alt_titles"), "args" = list("id")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/occupation/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":id" = pref.current_character)
+	return list("id" = pref.current_character)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/occupation/gather_save_query()
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("jobs", "alternate_option", "alternate_titles", "id" = 1, "ckey" = 1))
@@ -53,7 +53,7 @@
 								"job_engsec_med" = pref.job_engsec_med,
 								"job_engsec_low" = pref.job_engsec_low)

-	return list(":jobs" = list2params(compiled_jobs), ":alternate_option" = pref.alternate_option, ":alternate_titles" = list2params(pref.player_alt_titles), ":id" = pref.current_character, ":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("jobs" = list2params(compiled_jobs), "alternate_option" = pref.alternate_option, "alternate_titles" = list2params(pref.player_alt_titles), "id" = pref.current_character, "ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/occupation/sanitize_character(var/sql_load = 0)
 	if (sql_load)
@@ -19,11 +19,11 @@
 			JOIN ss13_characters chr ON act_chr.char_id = chr.id
 			JOIN ss13_ccia_actions act ON act_chr.action_id = act.id
 		WHERE
-			act_chr.char_id = ':char_id' AND
+			act_chr.char_id = :char_id: AND
 			(act.expires_at IS NULL OR act.expires_at >= CURRENT_DATE()) AND
 				act.deleted_at IS NULL;
 		"})
-		if (!ccia_action_query.Execute(list(":char_id" = pref.current_character)))
+		if (!ccia_action_query.Execute(list("char_id" = pref.current_character)))
 			error("Error CCIA Actions for character #[pref.current_character]. SQL error message: '[ccia_action_query.ErrorMsg()]'.")

 		while(ccia_action_query.NextRow())
@@ -42,9 +42,9 @@
 			id, char_id, UID, datetime, notes, charges, evidence, arbiters, brig_sentence, fine, felony
 		FROM ss13_character_incidents
 		WHERE
-			char_id = ':char_id' AND deleted_at IS NULL
+			char_id = :char_id: AND deleted_at IS NULL
 		"})
-		char_infraction_query.Execute(list(":char_id" = pref.current_character))
+		char_infraction_query.Execute(list("char_id" = pref.current_character))

 		while(char_infraction_query.NextRow())
 			var/datum/char_infraction/infraction = new()
@@ -70,8 +70,7 @@
 			var/list/arg_names = tables[table]["args"]
 			count = arg_names.len
 			for (i = 1, i <= count, i++)
-				query += "[arg_names[i]] = :[arg_names[i]]"
-				arg_names[i] = ":[arg_names[i]]"
+				query += "[arg_names[i]] = :[arg_names[i]]:"

 				if (i != count)
 					query += " AND "
@@ -96,7 +95,7 @@

 	for (var/query_text in query_cache[type])
 		var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery(query_text)
-		query.Execute(arg_list, 1)
+		query.Execute(arg_list)
 		if (query.ErrorMsg())
 			error("SQL CHARACTER LOAD: SQL query error: [query.ErrorMsg()]")
 			log_debug("SQL CHARACTER LOAD: SQL query error: [query.ErrorMsg()]")
@@ -180,7 +179,7 @@
 			// Process the args.
 			var/list/arg_names = list()
 			for (var/variable in var_names)
-				arg_names += ":[variable]"
+				arg_names += ":[variable]:"

 			query += "[jointext(arg_names, ", ")]) ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE"

@@ -215,7 +214,7 @@
 	var/datum/category_collection/player_setup_collection/cc = collection
 	for (var/query_text in query_cache[type])
 		var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery(query_text)
-		query.Execute(arg_list, 1)
+		query.Execute(arg_list)

 		if (query.ErrorMsg())
 			error("SQL CHARACTER SAVE: SQL query error: [query.ErrorMsg()]")
@@ -16,13 +16,13 @@
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("vars" = list("skills", "skill_specialization"), "args" = list("id")))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/skills/gather_load_parameters()
-	return list(":id" = pref.current_character)
+	return list("id" = pref.current_character)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/skills/gather_save_query()
 	return list("ss13_characters" = list("skills", "skill_specialization", "id" = 1, "ckey" = 1))

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/skills/gather_save_parameters()
-	return list(":skills" = list2params(pref.skills), ":skill_specialization" = pref.skill_specialization, ":id" = pref.current_character, ":ckey" = pref.client.ckey)
+	return list("skills" = list2params(pref.skills), "skill_specialization" = pref.skill_specialization, "id" = pref.current_character, "ckey" = pref.client.ckey)

 /datum/category_item/player_setup_item/skills/sanitize_character(var/sql_load = 0)
 	if (SKILLS == null)
@@ -415,8 +415,8 @@ datum/preferences
 			if(!dbcon.IsConnected())
 				return open_load_dialog_file(user)

-			var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id, name FROM ss13_characters WHERE ckey = :ckey AND deleted_at IS NULL ORDER BY id ASC")
-			query.Execute(list(":ckey" = user.client.ckey))
+			var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id, name FROM ss13_characters WHERE ckey = :ckey: AND deleted_at IS NULL ORDER BY id ASC")
+			query.Execute(list("ckey" = user.client.ckey))

 			dat += "<b>Select a character slot to load</b><hr>"
 			var/name
@@ -471,8 +471,8 @@ datum/preferences
 	if (!config.sql_saves || !config.sql_stats || !establish_db_connection(dbcon) || !H)
 		return

-	var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_characters_log (char_id, game_id, datetime, job_name, special_role) VALUES (:char_id, :game_id, NOW(), :job, :special_role)")
-	query.Execute(list(":char_id" = current_character, ":game_id" = game_id, ":job" = H.mind.assigned_role, ":special_role" = H.mind.special_role))
+	var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_characters_log (char_id, game_id, datetime, job_name, special_role) VALUES (:char_id:, :game_id:, NOW(), :job:, :special_role:)")
+	query.Execute(list("char_id" = current_character, "game_id" = game_id, "job" = H.mind.assigned_role, "special_role" = H.mind.special_role))

 // Turned into a proc so we could reuse it for SQL shenanigans.
 /datum/preferences/proc/new_setup(var/re_initialize = 0)
@@ -570,8 +570,8 @@ datum/preferences
 		C << "<span class='notice'>Unable to establish database connection.</span>"
 		return

-	var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_characters SET deleted_at = NOW() WHERE id = :char_id")
-	query.Execute(list(":char_id" = current_character))
+	var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_characters SET deleted_at = NOW() WHERE id = :char_id:")
+	query.Execute(list("char_id" = current_character))

 	// Create a new character.
 	new_setup(1)
@@ -165,8 +165,8 @@
 		error("Error initiatlizing database connection while counting CCIA actions.")
 		return null

-	var/DBQuery/prep_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id FROM ss13_characters WHERE ckey = :ckey")
-	prep_query.Execute(list(":ckey" = user.ckey))
+	var/DBQuery/prep_query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT id FROM ss13_characters WHERE ckey = :ckey:")
+	prep_query.Execute(list("ckey" = user.ckey))
 	var/list/chars = list()

 	while (prep_query.NextRow())
@@ -181,10 +181,10 @@
 	JOIN ss13_characters chr ON act_chr.char_id = chr.id
 	JOIN ss13_ccia_actions act ON act_chr.action_id = act.id
 	WHERE
-		act_chr.char_id IN :char_id AND
+		act_chr.char_id IN :char_id: AND
 		(act.expires_at IS NULL OR act.expires_at >= CURRENT_DATE()) AND
 		act.deleted_at IS NULL;"})
-	query.Execute(list(":char_id" = chars))
+	query.Execute(list("char_id" = chars))

 	if (query.NextRow())
 		var/action_count = text2num(query.item[1])
@@ -235,34 +235,34 @@
 			return

 	var/list/sql_args[] = list(
-		":char_id" = char_id,
-		":uid" = UID,
-		":datetime" = datetime,
-		":notes" = notes,
-		":charges" = json_encode(charges),
-		":evidence" = json_encode(evidence),
-		":arbiters" = json_encode(arbiters),
-		":brig_sentence" = brig_sentence,
-		":fine" = fine,
-		":felony" = felony,
-		":created_by" = created_by,
-		":game_id" = game_id
+		"char_id" = char_id,
+		"uid" = UID,
+		"datetime" = datetime,
+		"notes" = notes,
+		"charges" = json_encode(charges),
+		"evidence" = json_encode(evidence),
+		"arbiters" = json_encode(arbiters),
+		"brig_sentence" = brig_sentence,
+		"fine" = fine,
+		"felony" = felony,
+		"created_by" = created_by,
+		"game_id" = game_id
 	)
 	//Insert a new entry into the db. Upate if a entry with the same chard_id and UID already exists
 	var/DBQuery/infraction_insert_query = dbcon.NewQuery({"INSERT INTO ss13_character_incidents
 		(char_id,  UID, datetime, notes, charges, evidence, arbiters, brig_sentence, fine, felony, created_by, game_id)
 	VALUES
-		(:char_id, :uid, :datetime, :notes, :charges, :evidence, :arbiters, :brig_sentence, :fine, :felony, :created_by, :game_id)
+		(:char_id:, :uid:, :datetime:, :notes:, :charges:, :evidence:, :arbiters:, :brig_sentence:, :fine:, :felony:, :created_by:, :game_id:)
 	ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE
-		notes = :notes,
-		charges = :charges,
-		evidence = :evidence,
-		arbiters = :arbiters,
-		brig_sentence = :brig_sentence,
-		fine = :fine,
-		felony = :felony,
-		created_by = :created_by,
-		game_id = :game_id
+		notes = :notes:,
+		charges = :charges:,
+		evidence = :evidence:,
+		arbiters = :arbiters:,
+		brig_sentence = :brig_sentence:,
+		fine = :fine:,
+		felony = :felony:,
+		created_by = :created_by:,
+		game_id = :game_id:
 	"})
 	infraction_insert_query.Execute(sql_args)

@@ -282,14 +282,14 @@
 		log_debug("Infraction: Not deleted from the db - db_id 0")

 	var/list/sql_args[] = list(
-		":id" = db_id,
-		":deleted_by" = deleted_by
+		"id" = db_id,
+		"deleted_by" = deleted_by
 	)
 	//Insert a new entry into the db. Upate if a entry with the same chard_id and UID already exists
 	var/DBQuery/infraction_delete_query = dbcon.NewQuery({"UPDATE ss13_character_incidents
 	SET
-		deleted_by=:deleted_by,
+		deleted_by=:deleted_by:,
 		deleted_at=NOW()
 	WHERE
-		id = :id"})
+		id = :id:"})
 	infraction_delete_query.Execute(sql_args)
@@ -20,20 +20,20 @@

 	var/static/DBQuery/lprof_q
 	if (!lprof_q)
-		lprof_q = dbcon.NewQuery({"INSERT INTO ss13dbg_lighting (time,tick_usage,type,name,loc_name,x,y,z) 
-		VALUES (:time,:tick_usage,:type,:name,:loc_name,:x,:y,:z);"})
+		lprof_q = dbcon.NewQuery({"INSERT INTO ss13dbg_lighting (time,tick_usage,type,name,loc_name,x,y,z)
+		VALUES (:time:,:tick_usage:,:type:,:name:,:loc_name:,:x:,:y:,:z:);"})

 	lprof_q.Execute(
 		list(
-			":time" = world.time,
-			":tick_usage" = world.tick_usage,
-			":type" = type,
-			":name" = name,
-			":loc_name" = locname, 
-			":x" = x,
-			":y" = y,
-			":z" = z))
-	
+			"time" = world.time,
+			"tick_usage" = world.tick_usage,
+			"type" = type,
+			"name" = name,
+			"loc_name" = locname,
+			"x" = x,
+			"y" = y,
+			"z" = z))
+
 	var/err = lprof_q.ErrorMsg()
 	if (err)
 		log_debug("lprof_write: SQL Error: [err]")
@@ -479,14 +479,14 @@ datum/species/machine/handle_post_spawn(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
 		var/obj/item/organ/ipc_tag/tag = new_machine.internal_organs_by_name["ipc tag"]

 		var/status = 0
-		var/list/query_details = list(":ckey" = player.ckey, ":character_name" = player.prefs.real_name)
-		var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT tag_status FROM ss13_ipc_tracking WHERE player_ckey = :ckey AND character_name = :character_name")
+		var/list/query_details = list("ckey" = player.ckey, "character_name" = player.prefs.real_name)
+		var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT tag_status FROM ss13_ipc_tracking WHERE player_ckey = :ckey: AND character_name = :character_name:")
 		query.Execute(query_details)

 		if (query.NextRow())
 			status = text2num(query.item[1])
 		else
-			var/DBQuery/log_query = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_ipc_tracking (player_ckey, character_name) VALUES (:ckey, :character_name)")
+			var/DBQuery/log_query = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_ipc_tracking (player_ckey, character_name) VALUES (:ckey:, :character_name:)")
 			log_query.Execute(query_details)

 		if (!status)
@@ -504,8 +504,8 @@ datum/species/machine/handle_post_spawn(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
 		if (target.internal_organs_by_name["ipc tag"])
 			status = 1

-		var/list/query_details = list(":ckey" = player.ckey, ":character_name" = target.real_name)
-		var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT tag_status FROM ss13_ipc_tracking WHERE player_ckey = :ckey AND character_name = :character_name")
+		var/list/query_details = list("ckey" = player.ckey, "character_name" = target.real_name)
+		var/DBQuery/query = dbcon.NewQuery("SELECT tag_status FROM ss13_ipc_tracking WHERE player_ckey = :ckey: AND character_name = :character_name:")
 		query.Execute(query_details)

 		if (query.NextRow())
@@ -513,9 +513,8 @@ datum/species/machine/handle_post_spawn(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H)
 			if (sql_status == status)
 				return

-			query_details.Add(":status")
-			query_details[":status"] = status
-			var/DBQuery/update_query = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_ipc_tracking SET tag_status = :status WHERE player_ckey = :ckey AND character_name = :character_name")
+			query_details["status"] = status
+			var/DBQuery/update_query = dbcon.NewQuery("UPDATE ss13_ipc_tracking SET tag_status = :status: WHERE player_ckey = :ckey: AND character_name = :character_name:")
 			update_query.Execute(query_details)

 /datum/species/machine/get_light_color(hair_style)
@@ -83,8 +83,8 @@
 		alert("An error occured while attempting to connect to the database!")
 		return 0

-	var/DBQuery/insert_query = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_web_sso (ckey, token, ip, created_at) VALUES (:ckey, :token, :ip, NOW())")
-	insert_query.Execute(list(":ckey" = user.ckey, ":token" = token, ":ip" = user.address))
+	var/DBQuery/insert_query = dbcon.NewQuery("INSERT INTO ss13_web_sso (ckey, token, ip, created_at) VALUES (:ckey:, :token:, :ip:, NOW())")
+	insert_query.Execute(list("ckey" = user.ckey, "token" = token, "ip" = user.address))

 	if (insert_query.ErrorMsg())
 		alert("An error occured while trying to upload the session data!")