Calm Down Satan

code/datums/diseases/kingstons.dm

@@ -0,0 +1,46 @@
+/datum/disease/kingstons
+	name = "Kingstons"
+	max_stages = 4
+	spread_text = "Airborne"
+	cure_text = "Milk."
+	cures = list("milk")
+	cure_chance = 75
+	agent = "NYA Virus"
+	viable_mobtypes = list(/mob/living/carbon/human)
+	permeability_mod = 0.75
+	desc = "If left untreated the subject will turn into a felonid. In felines it has..OTHER..effects."
+	severity = MEDIUM
+
+/datum/disease/kingstons/stage_act()
+	..()
+	switch(stage)
+		if(1)
+			if(prob(10))
+				if(affected_mob.get_species() == "Tajaran")
+					to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='danger'>You feel good.</span>")
+				else
+					to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='danger'>You feel like playing with string.</span>")
+		if(2)
+			if(prob(10))
+				if(affected_mob.get_species() == "Tajaran")
+					to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='danger'>Something in your throat itches.</span>")
+				else
+					to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='danger'>You NEED to find a mouse.</span>")
+		if(3)
+			if(prob(10))
+				if(affected_mob.get_species() == "Tajaran")
+					to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='danger'>You feel something in your throat!.</span>")
+					affected_mob.emote("cough")
+				else
+					affected_mob.say( pick( list("Mew", "meow", "Nya!") ) )
+		if(4)
+			if(prob(5))
+				if(affected_mob.get_species() == "Tajaran")
+					affected_mob.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[affected_mob] coughs up a hairball!</span>", \
+													"<span class='userdanger'>You cough up a hairball!</span>")
+					affected_mob.Stun(5)
+				else
+					affected_mob.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[affected_mob] form contorts into something more feline!!</span>", \
+													"<span class='userdanger'>YOU TURN INTO A TAJARAN!</span>")
+					var/mob/living/carbon/human/catface = affected_mob
+					catface.set_species("Tajaran")

code/datums/diseases/lycancoughy.dm

@@ -0,0 +1,45 @@
+/datum/disease/lycan
+	name = "Lycancoughy"
+	form = "Infection"
+	max_stages = 4
+	spread_text = "On contact"
+	spread_flags = CONTACT_GENERAL
+	cure_text = "Ethanol"
+	cures = list("ethanol")
+	agent = "Excess Snuggles"
+	viable_mobtypes = list(/mob/living/carbon/human, /mob/living/carbon/human/monkey)
+	desc = "If left untreated subject will regurgitate...puppys?"
+	severity = MEDIUM
+
+/datum/disease/lycan/stage_act()
+	..()
+	switch(stage)
+		if(2) //also changes say, see say.dm
+			if(prob(5))
+				to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='notice'>You itch.</span>")
+				affected_mob.emote("cough")
+		if(3)
+			if(prob(10))
+				to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='notice'>You hear faint barking.</span>")
+			if(prob(5))
+				to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='notice'>You crave meat.</span>")
+				affected_mob.emote("cough")
+			if(prob(2))
+				to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='danger'>Your stomache growls!</span>")
+		if(4)
+			if(prob(10))
+				to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='danger'>Your stomache barks?!</span>")
+			if(prob(5))
+				affected_mob.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[affected_mob] howls!</span>", \
+												"<span class='userdanger'>You howl!</span>")
+				affected_mob.AdjustConfused(rand(6,8))
+				playsound(affected_mob, 'sound/goonstation/voice/howl.ogg', 60, 0, 10)
+			if(prob(3))
+				var/list/puppytype = list(/mob/living/simple_animal/pet/corgi/puppy, /mob/living/simple_animal/pet/pug, /mob/living/simple_animal/pet/fox)
+				var/mob/living/puppypicked = pick(puppytype)
+				affected_mob.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[affected_mob] coughs up [initial(puppypicked.name)]!</span>", \
+													"<span class='userdanger'>You cough up [initial(puppypicked.name)]!?</span>")
+				affected_mob.emote("cough")
+				new puppypicked(affected_mob.loc)
+				new puppypicked(affected_mob.loc)
+	return

code/datums/diseases/pierrot_throat.dm

@@ -26,3 +26,39 @@
 		if(4)
 			if(prob(5))
 				affected_mob.say( pick( list("HONK!", "Honk!", "Honk.", "Honk?", "Honk!!", "Honk?!", "Honk...") ) )
+
+
+/datum/disease/pierrot_throat/advanced
+	name = "Advanced Pierrot's Throat"
+	max_stages = 4
+	spread_text = "Airborne"
+	cure_text = "Banana products, especially banana bread."
+	cures = list("banana")
+	cure_chance = 75
+	agent = "H0NI<42.B4n4 Virus"
+	viable_mobtypes = list(/mob/living/carbon/human)
+	permeability_mod = 0.75
+	desc = "If left untreated the subject will probably drive others to insanity and go insane themselves."
+	severity = DANGEROUS
+
+/datum/disease/pierrot_throat/advanced/stage_act()
+	..()
+	switch(stage)
+		if(1)
+			if(prob(10))
+				to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='danger'>You feel a little silly.</span>")
+			if(prob(5))
+				to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='danger'>You feel like making a joke.</span>")
+		if(2)
+			if(prob(10))
+				to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='danger'>You don't just start seeing rainbows..YOU ARE RAINBOWS!</span>")
+		if(3)
+			if(prob(10))
+				to_chat(affected_mob, "<span class='danger'>Your thoughts are interrupted by a loud <b>HONK!</b></span>")
+				affected_mob << 'sound/items/AirHorn.ogg'
+		if(4)
+			if(prob(5))
+				affected_mob.say( pick( list("HONK!", "Honk!", "Honk.", "Honk?", "Honk!!", "Honk?!", "Honk...") ) )
+
+			if(!istype(affected_mob.wear_mask, /obj/item/clothing/mask/gas/virusclown_hat))
+				affected_mob.equip_to_slot(new /obj/item/clothing/mask/gas/virusclown_hat(src), slot_wear_mask)

code/modules/clothing/masks/gasmask.dm

@@ -131,6 +131,7 @@
 	desc = "A true prankster's facial attire. A clown is incomplete without his wig and mask."
 	icon_state = "clown"
 	item_state = "clown_hat"
+	flags = NODROP
 
 /obj/item/clothing/mask/gas/sexyclown
 	name = "sexy-clown wig and mask"

paradise.dme

@@ -245,7 +245,9 @@
 #include "code\datums\diseases\fluspanish.dm"
 #include "code\datums\diseases\food_poisoning.dm"
 #include "code\datums\diseases\gbs.dm"
+#include "code\datums\diseases\kingstons.dm"
 #include "code\datums\diseases\kuru.dm"
+#include "code\datums\diseases\lycancoughy.dm"
 #include "code\datums\diseases\magnitis.dm"
 #include "code\datums\diseases\pierrot_throat.dm"
 #include "code\datums\diseases\retrovirus.dm"