Removes a bunch of sleeps/spawns and makes a few booleans defines

code/__DEFINES/combat.dm

@@ -20,6 +20,7 @@
 #define TOXLOSS 4
 #define OXYLOSS 8
 #define SHAME 16
+#define MANUAL_SUICIDE 32	//suicide_act will do the actual killing.
 
 //Citadel code
 #define AROUSAL	32

code/datums/explosion.dm

@@ -365,10 +365,13 @@ GLOBAL_LIST_EMPTY(explosions)
 		else
 			continue
 
-	sleep(100)
-	for(var/turf/T in wipe_colours)
-		T.color = null
-		T.maptext = ""
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(GLOBAL_PROC, .proc/wipe_color_and_text, wipe_colours), 100)
+
+/proc/wipe_color_and_text(list/atom/wiping)
+	for(var/i in wiping)
+		var/atom/A = i
+		A.color = null
+		A.maptext = ""
 
 /proc/dyn_explosion(turf/epicenter, power, flash_range, adminlog = 1, ignorecap = 1, flame_range = 0 ,silent = 0, smoke = 1)
 	if(!power)

code/game/gamemodes/miniantags/abduction/gland.dm

@@ -241,11 +241,20 @@
 
 /obj/item/organ/heart/gland/plasma/activate()
 	to_chat(owner, "<span class='warning'>You feel bloated.</span>")
+<<<<<<< HEAD
 	sleep(150)
 	if(!owner) return
 	to_chat(owner, "<span class='userdanger'>A massive stomachache overcomes you.</span>")
 	sleep(50)
 	if(!owner) return
+=======
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(GLOBAL_PROC, .proc/to_chat, owner, "<span class='userdanger'>A massive stomachache overcomes you.</span>"), 150)
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/vomit_plasma), 200)
+
+/obj/item/organ/heart/gland/plasma/proc/vomit_plasma()
+	if(!owner)
+		return
+>>>>>>> b83d777... Removes a bunch of sleeps/spawns and makes a few booleans defines (#31553)
 	owner.visible_message("<span class='danger'>[owner] vomits a cloud of plasma!</span>")
 	var/turf/open/T = get_turf(owner)
 	if(istype(T))

code/game/gamemodes/miniantags/abduction/machinery/pad.dm

@@ -25,21 +25,24 @@
 	new /obj/effect/temp_visual/dir_setting/ninja(get_turf(target), target.dir)
 	Warp(target)
 
-/obj/machinery/abductor/pad/proc/MobToLoc(place,mob/living/target)
-	new /obj/effect/temp_visual/teleport_abductor(place)
-	sleep(80)
+/obj/machinery/abductor/pad/proc/doMobToLoc(place, atom/movable/target)
 	flick("alien-pad", src)
 	target.forceMove(place)
 	new /obj/effect/temp_visual/dir_setting/ninja(get_turf(target), target.dir)
 
-/obj/machinery/abductor/pad/proc/PadToLoc(place)
+/obj/machinery/abductor/pad/proc/MobToLoc(place,mob/living/target)
 	new /obj/effect/temp_visual/teleport_abductor(place)
-	sleep(80)
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/doMobToLoc, place, target), 80)
+
+/obj/machinery/abductor/pad/proc/doPadToLoc(place)
 	flick("alien-pad", src)
 	for(var/mob/living/target in get_turf(src))
 		target.forceMove(place)
 		new /obj/effect/temp_visual/dir_setting/ninja(get_turf(target), target.dir)
 
+/obj/machinery/abductor/pad/proc/PadToLoc(place)
+	new /obj/effect/temp_visual/teleport_abductor(place)
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/doPadToLoc, place), 80)
 
 /obj/effect/temp_visual/teleport_abductor
 	name = "Huh"

code/game/gamemodes/miniantags/revenant/revenant_abilities.dm

@@ -205,20 +205,20 @@
 		var/datum/effect_system/spark_spread/s = new /datum/effect_system/spark_spread
 		s.set_up(4, 0, L)
 		s.start()
-		new /obj/effect/temp_visual/revenant(L.loc)
-		sleep(20)
-		if(!L.on) //wait, wait, don't shock me
-			return
-		flick("[L.base_state]2", L)
-		for(var/mob/living/carbon/human/M in view(shock_range, L))
-			if(M == user)
-				continue
-			L.Beam(M,icon_state="purple_lightning",time=5)
-			M.electrocute_act(shock_damage, L, safety=1)
-			var/datum/effect_system/spark_spread/z = new /datum/effect_system/spark_spread
-			z.set_up(4, 0, M)
-			z.start()
-			playsound(M, 'sound/machines/defib_zap.ogg', 50, 1, -1)
+		new /obj/effect/temp_visual/revenant(get_turf(L))
+		addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/overload_shock, L, user), 20)
+
+/obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/aoe_turf/revenant/overload/proc/overload_shock(obj/machinery/light/L, mob/user)
+	if(!L.on) //wait, wait, don't shock me
+		return
+	flick("[L.base_state]2", L)
+	for(var/mob/living/carbon/human/M in view(shock_range, L))
+		if(M == user)
+			continue
+		L.Beam(M,icon_state="purple_lightning",time=5)
+		M.electrocute_act(shock_damage, L, safety=1)
+		do_sparks(4, FALSE, M)
+		playsound(M, 'sound/machines/defib_zap.ogg', 50, 1, -1)
 
 //Defile: Corrupts nearby stuff, unblesses floor tiles.
 /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/aoe_turf/revenant/defile

code/game/gamemodes/nuclear/nuclearbomb.dm

@@ -434,14 +434,15 @@
 	sound_to_playing_players('sound/machines/alarm.ogg')
 	if(SSticker && SSticker.mode)
 		SSticker.roundend_check_paused = TRUE
-	sleep(100)
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/actually_explode), 100)
 
+/obj/machinery/nuclearbomb/proc/actually_explode()
 	if(!core)
 		Cinematic(CINEMATIC_NUKE_NO_CORE,world)
 		SSticker.roundend_check_paused = FALSE
 		return
 
-	GLOB.enter_allowed = 0
+	GLOB.enter_allowed = FALSE
 
 	var/off_station = 0
 	var/turf/bomb_location = get_turf(src)
@@ -533,9 +534,9 @@ This is here to make the tiles around the station mininuke change when it's arme
 			H.nuke_disk = null
 			return
 		user.visible_message("<span class='warning'>[user] captures [src]!</span>", "<span class='userdanger'>You've got the disk! Defend it with your life!</span>")
-		loc = H
+		forceMove(H)
 		H.nuke_disk = src
-		return 1
+		return TRUE
 	return ..()
 
 /obj/item/disk/nuclear/Destroy(force=FALSE)
@@ -547,20 +548,13 @@ This is here to make the tiles around the station mininuke change when it's arme
 /obj/item/disk/nuclear/suicide_act(mob/user)
 	user.visible_message("<span class='suicide'>[user] is going delta! It looks like [user.p_theyre()] trying to commit suicide!</span>")
 	playsound(user.loc, 'sound/machines/alarm.ogg', 50, -1, 1)
-	var/end_time = world.time + 100
-	var/newcolor = "#00FF00"
-	while(world.time < end_time)
-		if(!user)
-			return
-		if(newcolor == "#FF0000")
-			newcolor = "#00FF00"
-		else
-			newcolor = "#FF0000"
-		user.add_atom_colour(newcolor, ADMIN_COLOUR_PRIORITY)
-		sleep(1)
-	user.remove_atom_colour(ADMIN_COLOUR_PRIORITY)
-	user.visible_message("<span class='suicide'>[user] was destroyed by the nuclear blast!</span>")
-	return OXYLOSS
+	for(var/i in 1 to 100)
+		addtimer(CALLBACK(user, /atom/proc/add_atom_colour, (i % 2)? "#00FF00" : "#FF0000", ADMIN_COLOUR_PRIORITY), i)
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(user, /atom/proc/remove_atom_colour, ADMIN_COLOUR_PRIORITY), 101)
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(user, /atom/proc/visible_message, "<span class='suicide'>[user] was destroyed by the nuclear blast!</span>"), 101)
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(user, /mob/living/proc/adjustOxyLoss, 200), 101)
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(user, /mob/proc/death, 0), 101)
+	return MANUAL_SUICIDE
 
 /obj/item/disk/fakenucleardisk
 	name = "cheap plastic imitation of the nuclear authentication disk"

code/modules/client/verbs/suicide.dm

@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@
 	if(!canSuicide())
 		return
 	if(confirm == "Yes")
-		suiciding = 1
+		suiciding = TRUE
 		log_game("[key_name(src)] (job: [job ? "[job]" : "None"]) committed suicide at [get_area(src)].")
 		message_admins("[key_name(src)] (job: [job ? "[job]" : "None"]) committed suicide at [get_area(src)].")
 		var/obj/item/held_item = get_active_held_item()
@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@
 			if(damagetype)
 				if(damagetype & SHAME)
 					adjustStaminaLoss(200)
-					suiciding = 0
+					suiciding = FALSE
 					return
 				var/damage_mod = 0
 				for(var/T in list(BRUTELOSS, FIRELOSS, TOXLOSS, OXYLOSS))
@@ -41,11 +41,14 @@
 				if(damagetype & OXYLOSS)
 					adjustOxyLoss(200/damage_mod)
 
+				if(damagetype & MANUAL_SUICIDE)	//Assume the object will handle the death.
+					return
+
 				//If something went wrong, just do normal oxyloss
 				if(!(damagetype & (BRUTELOSS | FIRELOSS | TOXLOSS | OXYLOSS) ))
 					adjustOxyLoss(max(200 - getToxLoss() - getFireLoss() - getBruteLoss() - getOxyLoss(), 0))
 
-				death(0)
+				death(FALSE)
 				return
 
 		var/suicide_message = pick("[src] is attempting to bite [p_their()] tongue off! It looks like [p_theyre()] trying to commit suicide.", \

code/modules/mob/living/silicon/pai/pai.dm

@@ -19,6 +19,7 @@
 	var/list/software = list()
 	var/userDNA		// The DNA string of our assigned user
 	var/obj/item/device/paicard/card	// The card we inhabit
+	var/hacking = FALSE		//Are we hacking a door?
 
 	var/speakStatement = "states"
 	var/speakExclamation = "declares"
@@ -121,6 +122,29 @@
 	emittersemicd = TRUE
 	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/emittercool), 600)
 
+/mob/living/silicon/pai/Life()
+	if(hacking)
+		process_hack()
+	return ..()
+
+/mob/living/silicon/pai/proc/process_hack()
+
+	if(cable && cable.machine && istype(cable.machine, /obj/machinery/door) && cable.machine == hackdoor && get_dist(src, hackdoor) <= 1)
+		hackprogress = Clamp(hackprogress + 4, 0, 100)
+	else
+		temp = "Door Jack: Connection to airlock has been lost. Hack aborted."
+		hackprogress = 0
+		hacking = FALSE
+		hackdoor = null
+		return
+	if(screen == "doorjack" && subscreen == 0) // Update our view, if appropriate
+		paiInterface()
+	if(hackprogress >= 100)
+		hackprogress = 0
+		var/obj/machinery/door/D = cable.machine
+		D.open()
+		hacking = FALSE
+
 /mob/living/silicon/pai/make_laws()
 	laws = new /datum/ai_laws/pai()
 	return TRUE

code/modules/mob/living/silicon/pai/software.dm

@@ -28,44 +28,44 @@
 	var/dat = ""
 	var/left_part = ""
 	var/right_part = softwareMenu()
-	src.set_machine(src)
+	set_machine(src)
 
 	if(temp)
 		left_part = temp
-	else if(src.stat == DEAD)						// Show some flavor text if the pAI is dead
+	else if(stat == DEAD)						// Show some flavor text if the pAI is dead
 		left_part = "<b><font color=red><3E>Rr<52>R <20>a<EFBFBD><61> <20><>Rr<52><72><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>o<EFBFBD></font></b>"
 		right_part = "<pre>Program index hash not found</pre>"
 
 	else
-		switch(src.screen)							// Determine which interface to show here
+		switch(screen)							// Determine which interface to show here
 			if("main")
 				left_part = ""
 			if("directives")
-				left_part = src.directives()
+				left_part = directives()
 			if("pdamessage")
-				left_part = src.pdamessage()
+				left_part = pdamessage()
 			if("buy")
 				left_part = downloadSoftware()
 			if("manifest")
-				left_part = src.softwareManifest()
+				left_part = softwareManifest()
 			if("medicalrecord")
-				left_part = src.softwareMedicalRecord()
+				left_part = softwareMedicalRecord()
 			if("securityrecord")
-				left_part = src.softwareSecurityRecord()
+				left_part = softwareSecurityRecord()
 			if("translator")
-				left_part = src.softwareTranslator()
+				left_part = softwareTranslator()
 			if("atmosensor")
-				left_part = src.softwareAtmo()
+				left_part = softwareAtmo()
 			if("securityhud")
-				left_part = src.facialRecognition()
+				left_part = facialRecognition()
 			if("medicalhud")
-				left_part = src.medicalAnalysis()
+				left_part = medicalAnalysis()
 			if("doorjack")
-				left_part = src.softwareDoor()
+				left_part = softwareDoor()
 			if("camerajack")
-				left_part = src.softwareCamera()
+				left_part = softwareCamera()
 			if("signaller")
-				left_part = src.softwareSignal()
+				left_part = softwareSignal()
 
 	//usr << browse_rsc('windowbak.png')		// This has been moved to the mob's Login() proc
 
@@ -119,16 +119,16 @@
 	var/soft = href_list["software"]
 	var/sub = href_list["sub"]
 	if(soft)
-		src.screen = soft
+		screen = soft
 	if(sub)
-		src.subscreen = text2num(sub)
+		subscreen = text2num(sub)
 	switch(soft)
 		// Purchasing new software
 		if("buy")
 			if(subscreen == 1)
 				var/target = href_list["buy"]
 				if(available_software.Find(target) && !software.Find(target))
-					var/cost = src.available_software[target]
+					var/cost = available_software[target]
 					if(ram >= cost)
 						software.Add(target)
 						ram -= cost
@@ -259,17 +259,17 @@
 					// this is PERMAMENT.
 		if("doorjack")
 			if(href_list["jack"])
-				if(src.cable && src.cable.machine)
-					src.hackdoor = src.cable.machine
-					src.hackloop()
+				if(cable && cable.machine)
+					hackdoor = cable.machine
+					hackloop()
 			if(href_list["cancel"])
-				src.hackdoor = null
+				hackdoor = null
 			if(href_list["cable"])
-				var/turf/T = get_turf(src.loc)
+				var/turf/T = get_turf(loc)
 				cable = new /obj/item/pai_cable(T)
-				T.visible_message("<span class='warning'>A port on [src] opens to reveal [src.cable], which promptly falls to the floor.</span>", "<span class='italics'>You hear the soft click of something light and hard falling to the ground.</span>")
-	//src.updateUsrDialog()		We only need to account for the single mob this is intended for, and he will *always* be able to call this window
-	src.paiInterface()		 // So we'll just call the update directly rather than doing some default checks
+				T.visible_message("<span class='warning'>A port on [src] opens to reveal [cable], which promptly falls to the floor.</span>", "<span class='italics'>You hear the soft click of something light and hard falling to the ground.</span>")
+	//updateUsrDialog()		We only need to account for the single mob this is intended for, and he will *always* be able to call this window
+	paiInterface()		 // So we'll just call the update directly rather than doing some default checks
 	return
 
 // MENUS
@@ -287,7 +287,7 @@
 
 	// Basic
 	dat += "<b>Basic</b> <br>"
-	for(var/s in src.software)
+	for(var/s in software)
 		if(s == "digital messenger")
 			dat += "<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=pdamessage;sub=0'>Digital Messenger</a> <br>"
 		if(s == "crew manifest")
@@ -304,15 +304,15 @@
 
 	// Advanced
 	dat += "<b>Advanced</b> <br>"
-	for(var/s in src.software)
+	for(var/s in software)
 		if(s == "atmosphere sensor")
 			dat += "<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=atmosensor;sub=0'>Atmospheric Sensor</a> <br>"
 		if(s == "heartbeat sensor")
 			dat += "<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=[s]'>Heartbeat Sensor</a> <br>"
 		if(s == "security HUD")
-			dat += "<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=securityhud;sub=0'>Facial Recognition Suite</a>[(src.secHUD) ? "<font color=#55FF55> On</font>" : "<font color=#FF5555> Off</font>"] <br>"
+			dat += "<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=securityhud;sub=0'>Facial Recognition Suite</a>[(secHUD) ? "<font color=#55FF55> On</font>" : "<font color=#FF5555> Off</font>"] <br>"
 		if(s == "medical HUD")
-			dat += "<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=medicalhud;sub=0'>Medical Analysis Suite</a>[(src.medHUD) ? "<font color=#55FF55> On</font>" : "<font color=#FF5555> Off</font>"] <br>"
+			dat += "<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=medicalhud;sub=0'>Medical Analysis Suite</a>[(medHUD) ? "<font color=#55FF55> On</font>" : "<font color=#FF5555> Off</font>"] <br>"
 		if(s == "universal translator")
 			var/translator_on = (flags_2 & OMNITONGUE_2)
 			dat += "<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=translator;sub=0'>Universal Translator</a>[translator_on ? "<font color=#55FF55> On</font>" : "<font color=#FF5555> Off</font>"] <br>"
@@ -333,12 +333,12 @@
 	var/dat = ""
 
 	dat += "<h2>CentCom pAI Module Subversion Network</h2><br>"
-	dat += "<pre>Remaining Available Memory: [src.ram]</pre><br>"
+	dat += "<pre>Remaining Available Memory: [ram]</pre><br>"
 	dat += "<p style=\"text-align:center\"><b>Trunks available for checkout</b><br>"
 
 	for(var/s in available_software)
 		if(!software.Find(s))
-			var/cost = src.available_software[s]
+			var/cost = available_software[s]
 			var/displayName = uppertext(s)
 			dat += "<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=buy;sub=1;buy=[s]'>[displayName]</a> ([cost]) <br>"
 		else
@@ -351,12 +351,12 @@
 /mob/living/silicon/pai/proc/directives()
 	var/dat = ""
 
-	dat += "[(src.master) ? "Your master: [src.master] ([src.master_dna])" : "You are bound to no one."]"
+	dat += "[(master) ? "Your master: [master] ([master_dna])" : "You are bound to no one."]"
 	dat += "<br><br>"
 	dat += "<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=directive;getdna=1'>Request carrier DNA sample</a><br>"
 	dat += "<h2>Directives</h2><br>"
 	dat += "<b>Prime Directive</b><br>"
-	dat += "&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[src.laws.zeroth]<br>"
+	dat += "&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[laws.zeroth]<br>"
 	dat += "<b>Supplemental Directives</b><br>"
 	for(var/slaws in laws.supplied)
 		dat += "&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;[slaws]<br>"
@@ -398,14 +398,14 @@
 	Frequency:
 	<A href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=signaller;freq=-10;'>-</A>
 	<A href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=signaller;freq=-2'>-</A>
-	[format_frequency(src.sradio.frequency)]
+	[format_frequency(sradio.frequency)]
 	<A href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=signaller;freq=2'>+</A>
 	<A href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=signaller;freq=10'>+</A><BR>
 
 	Code:
 	<A href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=signaller;code=-5'>-</A>
 	<A href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=signaller;code=-1'>-</A>
-	[src.sradio.code]
+	[sradio.code]
 	<A href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=signaller;code=1'>+</A>
 	<A href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=signaller;code=5'>+</A><BR>
 
@@ -476,7 +476,7 @@
 /mob/living/silicon/pai/proc/facialRecognition()
 	var/dat = {"<h3>Facial Recognition Suite</h3><br>
 				When enabled, this package will scan all viewable faces and compare them against the known criminal database, providing real-time graphical data about any detected persons of interest.<br><br>
-				The package is currently [ (src.secHUD) ? "<font color=#55FF55>en" : "<font color=#FF5555>dis" ]abled.</font><br>
+				The package is currently [ (secHUD) ? "<font color=#55FF55>en" : "<font color=#FF5555>dis" ]abled.</font><br>
 				<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=securityhud;sub=0;toggle=1'>Toggle Package</a><br>
 				"}
 	return dat
@@ -484,16 +484,16 @@
 // Medical HUD
 /mob/living/silicon/pai/proc/medicalAnalysis()
 	var/dat = ""
-	if(src.subscreen == 0)
+	if(subscreen == 0)
 		dat += {"<h3>Medical Analysis Suite</h3><br>
 				 <h4>Visual Status Overlay</h4><br>
 					When enabled, this package will scan all nearby crewmembers' vitals and provide real-time graphical data about their state of health.<br><br>
-					The suite is currently [ (src.medHUD) ? "<font color=#55FF55>en" : "<font color=#FF5555>dis" ]abled.</font><br>
+					The suite is currently [ (medHUD) ? "<font color=#55FF55>en" : "<font color=#FF5555>dis" ]abled.</font><br>
 					<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=medicalhud;sub=0;toggle=1'>Toggle Suite</a><br>
 					<br>
 					<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=medicalhud;sub=1'>Host Bioscan</a><br>
 					"}
-	if(src.subscreen == 1)
+	if(subscreen == 1)
 		dat += {"<h3>Medical Analysis Suite</h3><br>
 				 <h4>Host Bioscan</h4><br>
 				"}
@@ -501,8 +501,8 @@
 		if(!isliving(M))
 			while(!isliving(M))
 				if(isturf(M))
-					src.temp = "Error: No biological host found. <br>"
-					src.subscreen = 0
+					temp = "Error: No biological host found. <br>"
+					subscreen = 0
 					return dat
 				M = M.loc
 		dat += {"Bioscan Results for [M]: <br>"
@@ -529,7 +529,7 @@
 /mob/living/silicon/pai/proc/softwareAtmo()
 	var/dat = "<h3>Atmospheric Sensor</h4>"
 
-	var/turf/T = get_turf(src.loc)
+	var/turf/T = get_turf(loc)
 	if (isnull(T))
 		dat += "Unable to obtain a reading.<br>"
 	else
@@ -556,14 +556,14 @@
 	var/dat = "<h3>Camera Jack</h3>"
 	dat += "Cable status : "
 
-	if(!src.cable)
+	if(!cable)
 		dat += "<font color=#FF5555>Retracted</font> <br>"
 		return dat
-	if(!src.cable.machine)
+	if(!cable.machine)
 		dat += "<font color=#FFFF55>Extended</font> <br>"
 		return dat
 
-	var/obj/machinery/machine = src.cable.machine
+	var/obj/machinery/machine = cable.machine
 	dat += "<font color=#55FF55>Connected</font> <br>"
 
 	if(!istype(machine, /obj/machinery/camera))
@@ -574,55 +574,37 @@
 /mob/living/silicon/pai/proc/softwareDoor()
 	var/dat = "<h3>Airlock Jack</h3>"
 	dat += "Cable status : "
-	if(!src.cable)
+	if(!cable)
 		dat += "<font color=#FF5555>Retracted</font> <br>"
 		dat += "<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=doorjack;cable=1;sub=0'>Extend Cable</a> <br>"
 		return dat
-	if(!src.cable.machine)
+	if(!cable.machine)
 		dat += "<font color=#FFFF55>Extended</font> <br>"
 		return dat
 
-	var/obj/machinery/machine = src.cable.machine
+	var/obj/machinery/machine = cable.machine
 	dat += "<font color=#55FF55>Connected</font> <br>"
 	if(!istype(machine, /obj/machinery/door))
 		dat += "Connected device's firmware does not appear to be compatible with Airlock Jack protocols.<br>"
 		return dat
 //	var/obj/machinery/airlock/door = machine
 
-	if(!src.hackdoor)
+	if(!hackdoor)
 		dat += "<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=doorjack;jack=1;sub=0'>Begin Airlock Jacking</a> <br>"
 	else
-		dat += "Jack in progress... [src.hackprogress]% complete.<br>"
+		dat += "Jack in progress... [hackprogress]% complete.<br>"
 		dat += "<a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=doorjack;cancel=1;sub=0'>Cancel Airlock Jack</a> <br>"
-	//src.hackdoor = machine
-	//src.hackloop()
 	return dat
 
 // Door Jack - supporting proc
 /mob/living/silicon/pai/proc/hackloop()
-	var/turf/T = get_turf(src.loc)
+	var/turf/T = get_turf(src)
 	for(var/mob/living/silicon/ai/AI in GLOB.player_list)
 		if(T.loc)
 			to_chat(AI, "<font color = red><b>Network Alert: Brute-force encryption crack in progress in [T.loc].</b></font>")
 		else
 			to_chat(AI, "<font color = red><b>Network Alert: Brute-force encryption crack in progress. Unable to pinpoint location.</b></font>")
-	while(src.hackprogress < 100)
-		if(src.cable && src.cable.machine && istype(src.cable.machine, /obj/machinery/door) && src.cable.machine == src.hackdoor && get_dist(src, src.hackdoor) <= 1)
-			hackprogress += rand(1, 10)
-		else
-			src.temp = "Door Jack: Connection to airlock has been lost. Hack aborted."
-			hackprogress = 0
-			src.hackdoor = null
-			return
-		if(hackprogress >= 100)		// This is clunky, but works. We need to make sure we don't ever display a progress greater than 100,
-			hackprogress = 100		// but we also need to reset the progress AFTER it's been displayed
-		if(src.screen == "doorjack" && src.subscreen == 0) // Update our view, if appropriate
-			src.paiInterface()
-		if(hackprogress >= 100)
-			src.hackprogress = 0
-			var/obj/machinery/door/D = cable.machine
-			D.open()
-		sleep(50)			// Update every 5 seconds
+	hacking = TRUE
 
 // Digital Messenger
 /mob/living/silicon/pai/proc/pdamessage()
@@ -635,7 +617,7 @@
 	dat += "<ul>"
 	if(!pda.toff)
 		for (var/obj/item/device/pda/P in sortNames(get_viewable_pdas()))
-			if (P == src.pda)
+			if (P == pda)
 				continue
 			dat += "<li><a href='byond://?src=\ref[src];software=pdamessage;target=\ref[P]'>[P]</a>"
 			dat += "</li>"

code/modules/ninja/suit/ninjaDrainAct.dm

@@ -114,6 +114,11 @@ They *could* go in their appropriate files, but this is supposed to be modular
 			corrupt()
 			update_icon()
 
+/obj/machinery/proc/AI_notify_hack()
+	var/turf/location = get_turf(src)
+	var/alertstr = "<span class='userdanger'>Network Alert: Hacking attempt detected[location?" in [location]":". Unable to pinpoint location"]</span>."
+	for(var/mob/living/silicon/ai/AI in GLOB.player_list)
+		to_chat(AI, alertstr)
 
 //RDCONSOLE//
 /obj/machinery/computer/rdconsole/ninjadrain_act(obj/item/clothing/suit/space/space_ninja/S, mob/living/carbon/human/H, obj/item/clothing/gloves/space_ninja/G)
@@ -123,10 +128,7 @@ They *could* go in their appropriate files, but this is supposed to be modular
 	. = DRAIN_RD_HACK_FAILED
 
 	to_chat(H, "<span class='notice'>Hacking \the [src]...</span>")
-	spawn(0)
-		var/turf/location = get_turf(H)
-		for(var/mob/living/silicon/ai/AI in GLOB.player_list)
-			to_chat(AI, "<span class='userdanger'>Network Alert: Hacking attempt detected[location?" in [location]":". Unable to pinpoint location"]</span>.")
+	AI_notify_hack()
 
 	if(files && files.known_tech.len)
 		for(var/datum/tech/current_data in S.stored_research)
@@ -145,7 +147,6 @@ They *could* go in their appropriate files, but this is supposed to be modular
 
 	to_chat(H, "<span class='notice'>Data analyzed. Process finished.</span>")
 
-
 //RD SERVER//
 //Shamelessly copypasted from above, since these two used to be the same proc, but with MANY colon operators
 /obj/machinery/r_n_d/server/ninjadrain_act(obj/item/clothing/suit/space/space_ninja/S, mob/living/carbon/human/H, obj/item/clothing/gloves/space_ninja/G)
@@ -155,10 +156,7 @@ They *could* go in their appropriate files, but this is supposed to be modular
 	. = DRAIN_RD_HACK_FAILED
 
 	to_chat(H, "<span class='notice'>Hacking \the [src]...</span>")
-	spawn(0)
-		var/turf/location = get_turf(H)
-		for(var/mob/living/silicon/ai/AI in GLOB.player_list)
-			to_chat(AI, "<span class='userdanger'>Network Alert: Hacking attempt detected[location?" in [location]":". Unable to pinpoint location"]</span>.")
+	AI_notify_hack()
 
 	if(files && files.known_tech.len)
 		for(var/datum/tech/current_data in S.stored_research)

code/modules/paperwork/paper.dm

@@ -108,15 +108,16 @@
 	user.visible_message("<span class='suicide'>[user] scratches a grid on [user.p_their()] wrist with the paper! It looks like [user.p_theyre()] trying to commit sudoku...</span>")
 	return (BRUTELOSS)
 
+/obj/item/paper/proc/reset_spamflag()
+	spam_flag = FALSE
 
 /obj/item/paper/attack_self(mob/user)
 	user.examinate(src)
 	if(rigged && (SSevents.holidays && SSevents.holidays[APRIL_FOOLS]))
-		if(spam_flag == 0)
-			spam_flag = 1
+		if(!spam_flag)
+			spam_flag = TRUE
 			playsound(loc, 'sound/items/bikehorn.ogg', 50, 1)
-			spawn(20)
-				spam_flag = 0
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/reset_spamflag), 20)
 
 
 /obj/item/paper/attack_ai(mob/living/silicon/ai/user)

code/modules/paperwork/photography.dm

@@ -443,9 +443,12 @@
 	to_chat(user, "<span class='notice'>[pictures_left] photos left.</span>")
 	icon_state = "camera_off"
 	on = FALSE
-	spawn(64)
-		icon_state = "camera"
-		on = TRUE
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/cooldown), 64)
+
+/obj/item/device/camera/proc/cooldown()
+	set waitfor = FALSE
+	icon_state = "camera"
+	on = TRUE
 
 /obj/item/device/camera/siliconcam/proc/toggle_camera_mode()
 	if(in_camera_mode)

code/modules/power/antimatter/control.dm

@@ -260,17 +260,15 @@
 			if(AMS.processing)
 				AMS.shutdown_core()
 			AMS.control_unit = null
-			spawn(10)
-				AMS.controllerscan()
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(AMS, /obj/machinery/am_shielding.proc/controllerscan), 10)
 		linked_shielding = list()
-
 	else
 		for(var/obj/machinery/am_shielding/AMS in linked_shielding)
 			AMS.update_icon()
-	spawn(20)
-		shield_icon_delay = 0
-	return
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/reset_shield_icon_delay), 20)
 
+/obj/machinery/power/am_control_unit/proc/reset_shield_icon_delay()
+	shield_icon_delay = 0
 
 /obj/machinery/power/am_control_unit/proc/check_core_stability()
 	if(stored_core_stability_delay || linked_cores.len <= 0)
@@ -280,10 +278,10 @@
 	for(var/obj/machinery/am_shielding/AMS in linked_cores)
 		stored_core_stability += AMS.stability
 	stored_core_stability/=linked_cores.len
-	spawn(40)
-		stored_core_stability_delay = 0
-	return
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/reset_stored_core_stability_delay), 40)
 
+/obj/machinery/power/am_control_unit/proc/reset_stored_core_stability_delay()
+	stored_core_stability_delay = 0
 
 /obj/machinery/power/am_control_unit/interact(mob/user)
 	if((get_dist(src, user) > 1) || (stat & (BROKEN|NOPOWER)))

code/modules/power/cable.dm

@@ -399,6 +399,11 @@ By design, d1 is the smallest direction and d2 is the highest
 		if(PN.is_empty()) //can happen with machines made nodeless when smoothing cables
 			qdel(PN)
 
+/obj/structure/cable/proc/auto_propogate_cut_cable(obj/O)
+	if(O && !QDELETED(O))
+		var/datum/powernet/newPN = new()// creates a new powernet...
+		propagate_network(O, newPN)//... and propagates it to the other side of the cable
+
 // cut the cable's powernet at this cable and updates the powergrid
 /obj/structure/cable/proc/cut_cable_from_powernet(remove=TRUE)
 	var/turf/T1 = loc
@@ -426,10 +431,7 @@ By design, d1 is the smallest direction and d2 is the highest
 		loc = null
 	powernet.remove_cable(src) //remove the cut cable from its powernet
 
-	spawn(0) //so we don't rebuild the network X times when singulo/explosion destroys a line of X cables
-		if(O && !QDELETED(O))
-			var/datum/powernet/newPN = new()// creates a new powernet...
-			propagate_network(O, newPN)//... and propagates it to the other side of the cable
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/auto_propogate_cut_cable, O), 0) //so we don't rebuild the network X times when singulo/explosion destroys a line of X cables
 
 	// Disconnect machines connected to nodes
 	if(d1 == 0) // if we cut a node (O-X) cable

code/modules/projectiles/gun.dm

@@ -207,7 +207,38 @@
 /obj/item/gun/proc/recharge_newshot()
 	return
 
-/obj/item/gun/proc/process_fire(atom/target as mob|obj|turf, mob/living/user as mob|obj, message = 1, params, zone_override, bonus_spread = 0)
+/obj/item/gun/proc/process_burst(mob/living/user, atom/target, message = TRUE, params, zone_override, sprd = 0, randomized_gun_spread = 0, randomized_bonus_spread = 0, rand_spr = 0, iteration = 0)
+	if(!user || !firing_burst)
+		firing_burst = FALSE
+		return FALSE
+	if(!issilicon(user))
+		if( iteration > 1 && !(user.is_holding(src))) //for burst firing
+			firing_burst = FALSE
+			return FALSE
+	if(chambered && chambered.BB)
+		if(randomspread)
+			sprd = round((rand() - 0.5) * DUALWIELD_PENALTY_EXTRA_MULTIPLIER * (randomized_gun_spread + randomized_bonus_spread))
+		else //Smart spread
+			sprd = round((((rand_spr/burst_size) * iteration) - (0.5 + (rand_spr * 0.25))) * (randomized_gun_spread + randomized_bonus_spread))
+
+		if(!chambered.fire_casing(target, user, params, ,suppressed, zone_override, sprd))
+			shoot_with_empty_chamber(user)
+			firing_burst = FALSE
+			return FALSE
+		else
+			if(get_dist(user, target) <= 1) //Making sure whether the target is in vicinity for the pointblank shot
+				shoot_live_shot(user, 1, target, message)
+			else
+				shoot_live_shot(user, 0, target, message)
+	else
+		shoot_with_empty_chamber(user)
+		firing_burst = FALSE
+		return FALSE
+	process_chamber()
+	update_icon()
+	return TRUE
+
+/obj/item/gun/proc/process_fire(atom/target as mob|obj|turf, mob/living/user as mob|obj, message = TRUE, params, zone_override, bonus_spread = 0)
 	add_fingerprint(user)
 
 	if(semicd)
@@ -221,34 +252,10 @@
 	var/randomized_bonus_spread = rand(0, bonus_spread)
 
 	if(burst_size > 1)
-		firing_burst = 1
+		firing_burst = TRUE
 		for(var/i = 1 to burst_size)
-			if(!user)
-				break
-			if(!issilicon(user))
-				if( i>1 && !(user.is_holding(src))) //for burst firing
-					break
-			if(chambered && chambered.BB)
-				if(randomspread)
-					sprd = round((rand() - 0.5) * DUALWIELD_PENALTY_EXTRA_MULTIPLIER * (randomized_gun_spread + randomized_bonus_spread))
-				else //Smart spread
-					sprd = round((((rand_spr/burst_size) * i) - (0.5 + (rand_spr * 0.25))) * (randomized_gun_spread + randomized_bonus_spread))
-
-				if(!chambered.fire_casing(target, user, params, ,suppressed, zone_override, sprd))
-					shoot_with_empty_chamber(user)
-					break
-				else
-					if(get_dist(user, target) <= 1) //Making sure whether the target is in vicinity for the pointblank shot
-						shoot_live_shot(user, 1, target, message)
-					else
-						shoot_live_shot(user, 0, target, message)
-			else
-				shoot_with_empty_chamber(user)
-				break
-			process_chamber()
-			update_icon()
-			sleep(fire_delay)
-		firing_burst = 0
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/process_burst, user, target, message, params, zone_override, sprd, randomized_gun_spread, randomized_bonus_spread, rand_spr, i), min(fire_delay * (i - 1), 0))
+		firing_burst = FALSE
 	else
 		if(chambered)
 			sprd = round((rand() - 0.5) * DUALWIELD_PENALTY_EXTRA_MULTIPLIER * (randomized_gun_spread + randomized_bonus_spread))
@@ -265,14 +272,16 @@
 			return
 		process_chamber()
 		update_icon()
-		semicd = 1
-		spawn(fire_delay)
-			semicd = 0
+		semicd = TRUE
+		addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/reset_semicd), fire_delay)
 
 	if(user)
 		user.update_inv_hands()
 	SSblackbox.add_details("gun_fired","[src.type]")
-	return 1
+	return TRUE
+
+/obj/item/gun/proc/reset_semicd()
+	semicd = FALSE
 
 /obj/item/gun/update_icon()
 	..()

code/modules/projectiles/guns/energy.dm

@@ -150,7 +150,7 @@
 	toggle_gunlight()
 
 /obj/item/gun/energy/suicide_act(mob/user)
-	if (src.can_shoot() && can_trigger_gun(user))
+	if (can_shoot() && can_trigger_gun(user))
 		user.visible_message("<span class='suicide'>[user] is putting the barrel of [src] in [user.p_their()] mouth.  It looks like [user.p_theyre()] trying to commit suicide!</span>")
 		sleep(25)
 		if(user.is_holding(src))

code/modules/projectiles/projectile/special.dm

@@ -469,7 +469,9 @@
 			layer = ABOVE_MOB_LAYER
 	hal_target.client.images += blood
 	animate(blood, pixel_x = target_pixel_x, pixel_y = target_pixel_y, alpha = 0, time = 5)
-	sleep(5)
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/cleanup_blood), 5)
+
+/obj/item/projectile/hallucination/proc/cleanup_blood(image/blood)
 	hal_target.client.images -= blood
 	qdel(blood)
 

code/modules/reagents/chemistry/machinery/chem_master.dm

@@ -57,8 +57,7 @@
 	if(powered())
 		stat &= ~NOPOWER
 	else
-		spawn(rand(0, 15))
-			stat |= NOPOWER
+		stat |= NOPOWER
 
 /obj/machinery/chem_master/attackby(obj/item/I, mob/user, params)
 	if(default_deconstruction_screwdriver(user, "mixer0_nopower", "mixer0", I))

code/modules/reagents/reagent_containers/glass.dm

@@ -49,8 +49,7 @@
 				to_chat(user, "<span class='notice'>You swallow a gulp of [src].</span>")
 			var/fraction = min(5/reagents.total_volume, 1)
 			reagents.reaction(M, INGEST, fraction)
-			spawn(5)
-				reagents.trans_to(M, 5)
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(reagents, /datum/reagents.proc/trans_to, M, 5), 5)
 			playsound(M.loc,'sound/items/drink.ogg', rand(10,50), 1)
 
 /obj/item/reagent_containers/glass/afterattack(obj/target, mob/user, proximity)

code/modules/reagents/reagent_containers/hypospray.dm

@@ -101,13 +101,14 @@
 		reagents.maximum_volume = 0 //Makes them useless afterwards
 		container_type = NONE
 	update_icon()
-	spawn(80)
-		if(iscyborg(user) && !reagents.total_volume)
-			var/mob/living/silicon/robot/R = user
-			if(R.cell.use(100))
-				reagents.add_reagent_list(list_reagents)
-				update_icon()
-	return
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/cyborg_recharge, user), 80)
+
+/obj/item/reagent_containers/hypospray/medipen/proc/cyborg_recharge(mob/living/silicon/robot/user)
+	if(!reagents.total_volume && iscyborg(user))
+		var/mob/living/silicon/robot/R = user
+		if(R.cell.use(100))
+			reagents.add_reagent_list(list_reagents)
+			update_icon()
 
 /obj/item/reagent_containers/hypospray/medipen/update_icon()
 	if(reagents.total_volume > 0)

code/modules/ruins/objects_and_mobs/sin_ruins.dm

@@ -24,7 +24,9 @@
 		know it'll be worth it.</span>")
 	icon_state = "slots2"
 	playsound(src, 'sound/lavaland/cursed_slot_machine.ogg', 50, 0)
-	sleep(50)
+	addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/determine_victor, user), 50)
+
+/obj/structure/cursed_slot_machine/proc/determine_victor(mob/living/user)
 	icon_state = "slots1"
 	in_use = FALSE
 	if(prob(win_prob))
@@ -37,6 +39,7 @@
 		if(user)
 			to_chat(user, "<span class='boldwarning'>Fucking machine! Must be rigged. Still... one more try couldn't hurt, right?</span>")
 
+
 /obj/structure/cursed_money
 	name = "bag of money"
 	desc = "RICH! YES! YOU KNEW IT WAS WORTH IT! YOU'RE RICH! RICH! RICH!"
@@ -65,8 +68,6 @@
 	user.put_in_hands(critical_fail)
 	qdel(src)
 
-
-
 /obj/effect/gluttony //Gluttony's wall: Used in the Gluttony ruin. Only lets the overweight through.
 	name = "gluttony's wall"
 	desc = "Only those who truly indulge may pass."

code/modules/spells/spell_types/touch_attacks.dm

@@ -11,15 +11,15 @@
 		charge_counter = charge_max
 		attached_hand = null
 		to_chat(user, "<span class='notice'>You draw the power out of your hand.</span>")
-		return 0
+		return FALSE
 	..()
 
 /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/touch/cast(list/targets,mob/user = usr)
 	for(var/mob/living/carbon/C in targets)
 		if(!attached_hand)
 			if(!ChargeHand(C))
-				return 0
-	while(attached_hand) //hibernate untill the spell is actually used
+				return FALSE
+	while(attached_hand)
 		charge_counter = 0
 		stoplag(1)
 
@@ -30,9 +30,9 @@
 		charge_counter = charge_max
 		attached_hand = null
 		to_chat(user, "<span class='warning'>Your hands are full!</span>")
-		return 0
+		return FALSE
 	to_chat(user, "<span class='notice'>You channel the power of the spell to your hand.</span>")
-	return 1
+	return TRUE
 
 
 /obj/effect/proc_holder/spell/targeted/touch/disintegrate
@@ -58,4 +58,4 @@
 	cooldown_min = 200 //100 deciseconds reduction per rank
 
 	action_icon_state = "statue"
-	sound = 'sound/magic/fleshtostone.ogg'
+	sound = 'sound/magic/fleshtostone.ogg'

code/modules/surgery/organs/augments_chest.dm

@@ -24,8 +24,10 @@
 		synthesizing = TRUE
 		to_chat(owner, "<span class='notice'>You feel less hungry...</span>")
 		owner.nutrition += 50
-		sleep(50)
-		synthesizing = FALSE
+		addtimer(CALLBACK(src, .proc/synth_cool), 50)
+
+/obj/item/organ/cyberimp/chest/nutriment/proc/synth_cool()
+	synthesizing = FALSE
 
 /obj/item/organ/cyberimp/chest/nutriment/emp_act(severity)
 	if(!owner)

code/modules/surgery/organs/vocal_cords.dm

@@ -253,6 +253,7 @@
 	var/static/regex/honk_words = regex("ho+nk") //hooooooonk
 	var/static/regex/multispin_words = regex("like a record baby|right round")
 
+	var/i = 0
 	//STUN
 	if(findtext(message, stun_words))
 		cooldown = COOLDOWN_STUN
@@ -362,28 +363,30 @@
 		cooldown = COOLDOWN_MEME
 		for(var/V in listeners)
 			var/mob/living/L = V
+			var/text = ""
 			if(is_devil(L))
 				var/datum/antagonist/devil/devilinfo = is_devil(L)
-				L.say("[devilinfo.truename]")
+				text = devilinfo.truename
 			else
-				L.say("[L.real_name]")
-			sleep(5) //So the chat flows more naturally
+				text = L.real_name
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(L, /atom/movable/proc/say, text), 5 * i)
+			i++
 
 	//SAY MY NAME
 	else if((findtext(message, saymyname_words)))
 		cooldown = COOLDOWN_MEME
 		for(var/V in listeners)
 			var/mob/living/L = V
-			L.say("[user.name]!") //"Unknown!"
-			sleep(5) //So the chat flows more naturally
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(L, /atom/movable/proc/say, user.name), 5 * i)
+			i++
 
 	//KNOCK KNOCK
 	else if((findtext(message, knockknock_words)))
 		cooldown = COOLDOWN_MEME
 		for(var/V in listeners)
 			var/mob/living/L = V
-			L.say("Who's there?")
-			sleep(5) //So the chat flows more naturally
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(L, /atom/movable/proc/say, "Who's there?"), 5 * i)
+			i++
 
 	//STATE LAWS
 	else if((findtext(message, statelaws_words)))
@@ -403,11 +406,10 @@
 			direction = WEST
 		else if(findtext(message, right_words))
 			direction = EAST
-		for(var/i=1, i<=(5*power_multiplier), i++)
+		for(var/iter in 1 to 5 * power_multiplier)
 			for(var/V in listeners)
 				var/mob/living/L = V
-				step(L, direction ? direction : pick(GLOB.cardinals))
-			sleep(10)
+				addtimer(CALLBACK(GLOBAL_PROC, .proc/_step, L, direction? direction : pick(GLOB.cardinals)), 10 * (iter - 1))
 
 	//WALK
 	else if((findtext(message, walk_words)))
@@ -429,33 +431,33 @@
 	else if((findtext(message, helpintent_words)))
 		cooldown = COOLDOWN_MEME
 		for(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H in listeners)
-			H.a_intent_change(INTENT_HELP)
-			H.click_random_mob()
-			sleep(2) //delay to make it feel more natural
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(H, /mob/verb/a_intent_change, INTENT_HELP), i * 2)
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(H, /mob/proc/click_random_mob), i * 2)
+			i++
 
 	//DISARM INTENT
 	else if((findtext(message, disarmintent_words)))
 		cooldown = COOLDOWN_MEME
 		for(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H in listeners)
-			H.a_intent_change(INTENT_DISARM)
-			H.click_random_mob()
-			sleep(2) //delay to make it feel more natural
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(H, /mob/verb/a_intent_change, INTENT_DISARM), i * 2)
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(H, /mob/proc/click_random_mob), i * 2)
+			i++
 
 	//GRAB INTENT
 	else if((findtext(message, grabintent_words)))
 		cooldown = COOLDOWN_MEME
 		for(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H in listeners)
-			H.a_intent_change(INTENT_GRAB)
-			H.click_random_mob()
-			sleep(2) //delay to make it feel more natural
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(H, /mob/verb/a_intent_change, INTENT_GRAB), i * 2)
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(H, /mob/proc/click_random_mob), i * 2)
+			i++
 
 	//HARM INTENT
 	else if((findtext(message, harmintent_words)))
 		cooldown = COOLDOWN_MEME
 		for(var/mob/living/carbon/human/H in listeners)
-			H.a_intent_change(INTENT_HARM)
-			H.click_random_mob()
-			sleep(2) //delay to make it feel more natural
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(H, /mob/verb/a_intent_change, INTENT_HARM), i * 2)
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(H, /mob/proc/click_random_mob), i * 2)
+			i++
 
 	//THROW/CATCH
 	else if((findtext(message, throwmode_words)))
@@ -475,8 +477,8 @@
 		cooldown = COOLDOWN_MEME
 		for(var/V in listeners)
 			var/mob/living/L = V
-			L.say(pick_list_replacements(BRAIN_DAMAGE_FILE, "brain_damage"))
-			sleep(5) //So the chat flows more naturally
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(L, /atom/movable/proc/say, pick_list_replacements(BRAIN_DAMAGE_FILE, "brain_damage")), 5 * i)
+			i++
 
 	//GET UP
 	else if((findtext(message, getup_words)))
@@ -511,8 +513,8 @@
 		cooldown = COOLDOWN_MEME
 		for(var/V in listeners)
 			var/mob/living/L = V
-			L.emote("dance")
-			sleep(5) //So the chat flows more naturally
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(L, /mob/living/.proc/emote, "dance"), 5 * i)
+			i++
 
 	//JUMP
 	else if((findtext(message, jump_words)))
@@ -520,33 +522,33 @@
 		for(var/V in listeners)
 			var/mob/living/L = V
 			if(prob(25))
-				L.say("HOW HIGH?!!")
-			L.emote("jump")
-			sleep(5) //So the chat flows more naturally
+				addtimer(CALLBACK(L, /atom/movable/proc/say, "HOW HIGH?!!"), 5 * i)
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(L, /mob/living/.proc/emote, "jump"), 5 * i)
+			i++
 
 	//SALUTE
 	else if((findtext(message, salute_words)))
 		cooldown = COOLDOWN_MEME
 		for(var/V in listeners)
 			var/mob/living/L = V
-			L.emote("salute")
-			sleep(5) //So the chat flows more naturally
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(L, /mob/living/.proc/emote, "salute"), 5 * i)
+			i++
 
 	//PLAY DEAD
 	else if((findtext(message, deathgasp_words)))
 		cooldown = COOLDOWN_MEME
 		for(var/V in listeners)
 			var/mob/living/L = V
-			L.emote("deathgasp")
-			sleep(5) //So the chat flows more naturally
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(L, /mob/living/.proc/emote, "deathgasp"), 5 * i)
+			i++
 
 	//PLEASE CLAP
 	else if((findtext(message, clap_words)))
 		cooldown = COOLDOWN_MEME
 		for(var/V in listeners)
 			var/mob/living/L = V
-			L.emote("clap")
-			sleep(5) //So the chat flows more naturally
+			addtimer(CALLBACK(L, /mob/living/.proc/emote, "clap"), 5 * i)
+			i++
 
 	//HONK
 	else if((findtext(message, honk_words)))